codeless_code 0.1.2

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-134.txt

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+Number: 134
+Date: 2014-03-01
+Title: Thin Ice
+Names: Djishin, Banzen, One Shoe Clan
+Topics: data transfer objects, partial initialization, null, null pointer exception, object-relational mapping
+Geekiness: 3
+Illus.0.src: pole.jpg
+Illus.0.title: P.S. -- We *were* able to fill in a few of the shallower holes with landmines.
+
+The monk [[Djishin]] had grown dispirited from
+[[#78|toiling on obscure projects]] for the [[One Shoe Clan]],
+far removed from the bustle of temple life.
+He appealed to master [[Banzen]] for more meaningful work.
+
+Said Banzen, "I can think of one application whose codebase
+has grown confused over the years, owing to its many owners.
+I suspect it hides much rubbish which may be cleared away."
+
+When Banzen examined Djishin's refactoring he found the
+code to be well-organized and greatly simplified.  The most
+dramatic reduction had been in the number of Data Transfer
+Object classes.
+
+"I retained only those classes which map directly to
+database tables," Djishin explained proudly.  "See, here is
+a query which joins the Campaign, Soldier, and Specialty
+tables, fetching but two columns from each.  Previously
+there was a DTO whose only purpose was to return the six
+values for each row -- shameful!  Now the query returns a
+list of Campaign instances, each holding a list of Soldiers,
+each in turn holding a list of Specialties.  True, the
+presentation layer must now traverse these objects, but they
+are common throughout the application and will be familiar
+to all who labor upon it."
+
+Banzen stroked his beard.  "You have adopted the ways of
+the Object-Relational Mapping, in a framework of your own
+devising.  I am acquainted with the virtues of this
+approach, but also with its vices.  These three tables have
+about twenty columns each; the domain objects which mirror
+them have likewise twenty fields.  So now instead of fetching
+six columns per row, are you fetching sixty?  Or executing the
+query in three passes?  Or employing some sort of cache?"
+
+"None of these," said Djishin with satisfaction.  "I fetch
+only the original six columns, plus primary keys.  All other
+fields in the domain objects are simply left uninitialized."
+
+Banzen sighed and reached for his staff.
+
+- - -
+
+Djishin awoke outside with a pounding headache, covered by a
+blanket of new-fallen snow.  He was alone in the middle
+of a tidy, perfectly level field surrounded by great pines.
+All gleamed white in the morning sun, and a few flurries
+were still spinning through the air.
+
+At his feet a long stick had been thrust into the ground.
+A note was tied around the middle.  Djishin unrolled it.
+
+    I ordered the One Shoe Clan to remove all the refuse
+    from the temple's rubbish yard.  Is it not lovely now?
+
+    Sadly, this left behind many deep pits that would
+    require too much effort to fill, so we covered the
+    tops quite artfully with the thinnest layer of branches
+    and leaves.  Since a good snow has been forecast
+    for this evening, I expect you will awaken to a
+    picture of perfection.
+
+    Watch your step,
+
+    B.

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-135.txt

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+Number: 135
+Date: 2014-03-09
+Title: Ass-Backwards Compatibility
+Geekiness: 2
+Names: Wangohan, Spider Clan, Laughing Monkey Clan
+Topics: backwards compatibility, regular expressions, documentation, refactoring, testing, unit testing, happy path testing
+Illus.0.src: lunch.jpg
+Illus.0.title: For a box lunch, it's pretty high in fiber.
+
+
+[[Wangohan]], a monk of the [[Spider Clan]], stumbled upon a
+bug in a utility class provided by the [[Laughing Monkey Clan]].
+He called upon the junior monk who was its author.
+
+"Your last refactoring of <tt>isHexNumber</tt> was
+incorrect," said Wangohan. "Although there is no
+documentation, the name implies that it will only match strings
+of one or more hex digits.  Yet your regular expression uses
+no anchors and the wrong quantifer.  You will return true for
+any string in which /zero/ or more hex digits are present
+/anywhere/ -- which is to say, any string at all."
+
+"I ensured that the existing unit tests passed," protested
+the junior monk.  "Null is rejected, and legitimate hex
+numbers are accepted."
+
+Wangohan scowled. "I tell you that a cardboard box is not a
+fit meal for the Emperor's daughter, and you reply,
+/a goat did not choke on it/."
+
+- - -
+
+Wangohan called on the senior monk who tended the shared
+library and explained the problem.
+
+"We cannot change the implementation," said the senior monk.
+"This method is now used throughout the Temple.  If it
+suddenly rejects strings it once accepted, disaster
+might ensue."
+
+Wangohan pounded his fist on the monk's desk.  "I tell you
+that a cardboard box is not a fit meal for the Emperor's
+daughter, and you reply, /she may dislike the taste of lamb
+and figs/."
+
+- - -
+
+Wangohan called upon the head abbot of Laughing Monkey
+and explained the problem.
+
+"I will attend to the matter," sighed the abbot.
+"There must be a solution which will satisfy all parties."
+
+That evening Wangohan received an email from the abbot,
+stating that the method should now perform exactly as
+expected.  Wangohan brought up the code and found it to be
+completely unchanged, save for a new comment at the top:
+
+<pre>
+  /**
+   * isHexNumber returns true for any string
+   * in which zero or more hex digits are present
+   * anywhere.
+   */
+</pre>
+
+Wangohan's head fell to his desk.  "Clearly a cardboard box
+must be a fit meal for the Emperor's daughter, for here
+it is on the Imperial menu."
+

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-136.txt

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+Date: 2014-03-15
+Title: Unsupported Protocol
+Number: 136
+Names: Zjing, Yíwen, Clan of Iron Bones
+Topics: teleconferencing, telecommuting, social media, communication
+Geekiness: 0
+Illus.0.src: EdgingUp.jpg
+Illus.0.title: She's really just doing it for the open bar and spicy chicken wings.
+
+Just around the time the first-year novices began to ask
+their masters if winter in this mountain province ever came
+to an end, the first winds of spring finally found their
+weary way up through the labyrinth of cliffs and snowbound
+peaks surrounding the Temple.
+
+Monks and nuns bustled from abbey to abbey with renewed
+enthusiasm, pausing only to dodge the immense icicles that
+had begun to crash from the eaves.  Now all thoughts turned
+to the traditional Celebration of the End of the Long
+White-Space{{*}}.  All manner of fruits and spirits were
+ordered up from villages far below.  The monks of the
+[[Clan of Iron Bones]] had even set up a webcam atop a flatscreen
+monitor in the Great Hall, so that [[Zjing]], the
+[[#54|acrophobic]] nun who lived alone in a hut far below
+the Temple, would be able to teleconference in to the
+festivities.
+
+The party had not been long underway when Zjing suddenly
+excused herself.  In front of her webcam she placed a
+hastily-penned sign declaring /BRB/.
+
+A few hours later the doors to the Great Hall opened, and a
+very pale looking nun stumbled through them.  News spread
+throughout the crowd that the nun Zjing had returned for
+the first time in over a year.
+
+[[Hwídah]] dashed forward and thrust a bottle of strong
+liquor into Zjing's hands, guessing from her expression that
+the cliffside paths and long swaying bridges over bottomless
+ravines had taken their toll on the nun's nerves.
+
+After Zjing took a long pull, [[Yíwen]] said, "A thousand
+pardons for my curiosity, but why did you brave the steep
+road here, so treacherous now with melting ice and slick
+stone?"
+
+"To share important news," said Zjing.  "While observing the
+party, I discovered a form of communication that cannot be
+transmitted over IP sockets."
+
+Zjing then embraced Yíwen and Hwídah, kissed their cheeks,
+and turned to greet the others gathering round.
+
+
+
+
+{{*}} Commonly abbreviated <tt>\s{99}\S</tt>.

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-137.txt

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+Date: 2014-03-23
+Title: The 1000 Words
+Number: 137
+Names: Qi
+Topics: documentation, UML, sequence diagrams, diagrams
+Geekiness: 3
+
+A nun found the scribe [[Qi]] in his study.
+
+"I am puzzled by the comments you have written on my
+documentation," said the nun, placing a thick sheaf of
+papers on the scribe's desk.
+
+"Ah, yes," said Qi as he turned the pages, revealing
+hundreds of neatly-rendered sequence diagrams, each with a
+small note scrawled upon it in red ink.  "You are the nun
+who graphically illustrates every possible circumstance in
+which a domain object is retrieved and displayed, regardless
+of how intuitive the case may seem."
+
+"I strive to be thorough," said the nun.
+
+"That is a great relief," said the scribe. "If
+you were striving to be concise, I shudder to
+imagine what your thoroughness would do
+to the local tree population."
+
+The nun tapped her finger on the red scrawl at the
+bottom of one page.  "Yet under each diagram you
+have written, <i>this picture speaks 1000 words</i>."
+
+"That number is in base two," said the scribe.
+
+The nun blinked.  <i>"Eight</i> words?"
+
+Qi nodded, dipping his brush in a pot of red ink.
+"The same eight, over and over: <i>This nun owns a tool
+for generating UML</i>."
+
+
+
+

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-138.txt

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+Date: 2014-03-30
+Number: 138
+Title: The Province of Eternal Crisis
+Geekiness: 2
+Names: Djishin, Banzen, Province of Eternal Crisis, Complex Plain
+Topics: failure, bugs, change, frameworks, new solutions, progress
+
+[[Djishin]] said to master [[Banzen]]: most works of mankind
+do not fail before their time.  A saddle will outlive the
+mare and her foal; a horse-bridge will serve a hundred years
+unless an elephant treads upon it.  Even the stones of our
+humblest abbey were laid before the venerable Abbess was
+born.  Why then does software fail so often?
+
+Banzen said: to know the answer, you must first find your
+way to the Complex Plain.  This is a tricky task, for most
+of that grassy expanse is imaginary to some degree; but
+since your origin point is not only real but guaranteed to
+be at the plain's exact center, you need only start looking
+for it and you'll find yourself already there.  Then head
+due north-east until you come to a rumbling land known as
+the Province of Eternal Crisis.  There the ground belches
+fire and buckles and twists, like a serpent; mountains
+change places with valleys; rivers run backwards at midnight
+and sideways under the new moon.  Nothing endures in that
+place.  The sturdiest house must be rebuilt every spring, so
+men have quit all use of stone and erect only simple huts of
+saplings and straw.  As for horses or bridges you will find
+neither, for saddles crumble in the arid winds, and the many
+chasms must be spanned anew by rope each week as their edges
+dance up and down.  No sane man would live in that land if
+it did not hold the possibility of great wealth.  Yet every
+shovel is blunted by the rocky soil, every ax dulls, every
+ox dies.
+
+Djishin said: when did you last visit this unhappy place?
+
+Banzen said: I have never left it.  Sometimes in my
+wanderings I have come upon a green road which promises to
+lead me out, but /ai!/  Though the signpost greets me with a
+cheerful /Hello World/ and tells me of wondrous places I may
+go with but a fingerfull of effort, disappointment
+invariably awaits.  A thousand paces in, I feel a quake, the
+land tilts crazily beneath me, and the faster I code to
+outrace my doom the more the new road disappears under the
+debris of its own syntax.  Now I am as you see me: a bitter
+old man who trusts no path but one he has blazed himself.
+And this is why I take such pains with you, young monk!
+Because of your unquenchable zeal to create new frameworks,
+you do out of foolishness what I now do out of cynicism.
+If I can teach you to recognize a road to freedom,
+then perhaps I can follow you down it.

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-139.txt

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+Date: 2014-04-05
+Number: 139
+Title: Feedback
+Geekiness: 0
+Names: Suku, Temple of the Morning Brass Gong, Temple of the Thrown Coin
+Topics: culture fit, geek culture, bias, women in tech, vicious circles
+Illus.0.src: Lecture2.jpg
+Illus.0.title: In their defense, they were able to buy three new servers last year with all the money they saved on shampoo.
+
+It had been many weeks since master [[Suku]] and her three
+novices set out from the [[Temple of the Morning Brass Gong]]
+across the great mountains to the west.  The first
+warm winds of spring greeted the party as they arrived at
+the [[Temple of the Thrown Coin]], whose monks built
+social-media-enabled websites for the wealthy merchants of
+their province.  Here, Suku would teach her
+art of creating maintainable code, while in return the
+Thrown Coin would share the secret riches of their
+technology stack.
+
+One of the two novice monks in Suku's charge observed that
+the monks of the Thrown Coin attended closely to his words,
+treating him with the regard one might bestow upon a
+visiting dignitary.  But when the same words were spoken by
+Suku, the monks of the Thrown Coin either raised their
+eyebrows skeptically or lowered their gaze to fiddle with
+cellphones and tablets.  They did likewise when the novice
+nun spoke.
+
+It was then that the novice monk noticed the almost complete
+absence of women from the Temple of the Thrown Coin.  Only a
+few nuns could he spy as he cast his eyes around the
+lecture-hall.  All appeared to be of low rank, and they asked
+no questions.
+
+- - -
+
+At breakfast next morning the novice monk sat next to one
+of the senior abbots.
+
+"Why are there so few women in this temple?" asked the
+novice monk.
+
+"Because very few girls apply for admittance anymore,"
+replied the abbot.
+
+"Why is that?" asked the novice monk.
+
+"Because it is widely known that most girls do not meet
+our rigorous standards," replied the abbot.
+
+"Why is that?" asked the novice monk.
+
+"Because productivity requires harmony, and many female
+applicants are a poor fit for our culture," replied the
+abbot.  "Indeed, most have wasted the time we invested
+in them by leaving soon after arriving."
+
+"Why is that?" asked the novice monk.
+
+"Because they were unhappy here, and did not work well
+with the monks," replied the abbot.
+
+"Why is that?" asked the novice monk.
+
+"Because like so many great temples, the culture of this
+temple is a boy's culture: rough and rude, cruel and crude,
+in work and in play," replied the abbot.
+
+"Why is that?" asked the novice monk.
+
+"Because there are so few women in this temple,"
+replied the abbot.

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-14.txt

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+Date: 2010-11-13
+Title: Hello, World
+Number: 14
+Geekiness: 1
+Topics: philosophy
+
+On their first day in the temple, the Java master posed the
+following three questions to the novices:
+
+"Oftimes, when we acquire a new language or library, the
+first program we write is /Hello, World/.  Its
+purpose is to inscribe these words in some fashion that will
+demonstrate the expected behavior of the technology.  After
+this is done, the program is never run again.
+
+"Now: why does it say /hello/, and not also /goodbye/?
+
+"And: why say hello to the /world/, when the audience is but
+a single soul who will discard it after its first cry
+is uttered?
+
+"And: why should it utter a greeting, which will
+never be answered in kind?"
+
+- - -
+
+//
+Speak me a word which means /hello/ and /goodbye/ -- //
+is it not the first cry of an infant? //
+//
+Find me a pinnacle from which the world may be seen -- //
+in whose eye, then, is reflected every tiger, //
+and the desert of endless sand?

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-140.txt

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+Date: 2014-04-13
+Number: 140
+Title: Heartbleed
+Geekiness: 2
+Names: Bawan
+Topics: bugs, Heartbleed Bug, security, open source, taint-checking, trust
+Illus.0.src: heartbleed.jpg
+Illus.0.alt: Heartbleed
+Illus.0.title: I have some sympathy for the developer: this bug is so epic they gave it a website and ITS OWN LOGO.  Even 'goto-fail' doesn't have a logo.
+Illus.0.style: padding-right: 100px
+Credits: Many thanks to Herb Warren for catching a textual error! Also: some blood drips from poisondropstock.deviantart.com.
+
+A novice asked of master [[Bawan]]: "Say something about the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heartbleed_bug">Heartbleed Bug</a>."
+
+Said Bawan: "Chiuyin, the Governor's treasurer, is blind as an
+earthworm.  A thief may give him a coin of tin, claim that
+it is silver and receive change.  When the treasury is empty,
+which man is the villain?
+Speak right and I will spare you all blows for one week.
+Speak wrong and my staff will fly!"
+
+The novice thought: <i>if I say the thief, Bawan will surely
+strike me, for it is the treasurer who doles out the coins.  But
+if I say the treasurer he will also strike me, for it is the
+thief who takes advantage of the situation.</i>
+
+When the pause grew too long, Bawan raised his staff high.
+Suddenly enlightened, the novice cried out:
+"The Governor! For who else made this blind man his
+treasurer?"
+
+Bawan lowered his staff. "And who is the Governor?"
+
+Said the novice: "All who might have cried out 'this man is blind!'
+but failed to notice, or even to examine him."
+
+Bawan nodded.  "This is the first lesson.  Too easily we
+praise Open Source, saying smugly to each other, 'under ten
+thousand eyeballs, every bug is laid bare'.  Yet when the
+ten thousand avert their gaze, they are no more useful than
+the blind man.  And now that I have spared you all
+blows for one week, stand at ease and tell me: what is the
+second lesson?"
+
+Said the novice: "Surely, I have no idea."
+
+Bawan promptly struck the novice's skull with his staff.
+The boy fell to the floor, unconscious.
+
+As he stepped over the prone body, Bawan
+remarked: "Code as if everyone is the thief."

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-141.txt

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+Date: 2014-04-20
+Number: 141
+Geekiness: 0
+Names: Jinyu
+Topics: meetings, yes-men
+Title: Ill Met By Moonlight
+
+At the conclusion of a presentation, Jinyu was approached by
+several of her abbots.  One said, "In your talk you
+mentioned the Four Types of Meeting Attendee.  What are
+these?"
+
+Jinyu counted off on her fingers:
+
+      "Those who come to inform, //
+      those who come to learn, //
+      those who come to be dutiful, //
+      and those who come to be noticed."
+
+A second abbot nodded his head, saying, "Clearly we have too
+few of the first and second types."
+
+Jinyu said impatiently, "Yes, yes; I see you."

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-142.txt

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+Date: 2014-04-27
+Number: 142
+Title: The Blind Leading the Blind
+Names: Banzen, Suku, Satou, Spider Clan
+Topics: testing, automated testing, unit testing, integration testing, manual testing, happy path testing, management, laziness, code reviews, quality assurance
+Geekiness: 2
+Illus.0.src: eye.jpg
+Illus.0.style: padding-right: 30px;
+Illus.0.title: Given enough eyeballs, all bugs will eventually say that they are full and cannot eat another eyeball.
+
+
+<i>[[Banzen]] gathered the [[Spider Clan]] and said:</i> //
+Master [[Suku]] is [[#139|too far away]] to oversee your next release, //
+and there is no abbot left to guide you. //
+How will you seek out the errors in your code?
+
+<i>The first monk said:</i> //
+Who better to know the faults of a pig than another pig? //
+I will review my brother's code, and he mine. //
+We shall be each other's eyes.
+
+<i>The second monk said:</i> //
+The pig may know itself inside and out, //
+but only the chef can say if it is roasted well. //
+I will trust the eyes of our testers, whose sacred duty is finding flaws.
+
+<i>The third monk said:</i> //
+The succulent pig may be roasted to perfection, //
+but the chef's life is forfeit if the Empress wanted beef. //
+I will demo the application to our customers, and trust their eyes only.
+
+<i>The fourth monk said:</i> //
+The chef deserves to lose his head if he sent an idiot to take the order! //
+To trust others is to eschew responsibility. //
+I will use the application day and night, and trust my own eyes.
+
+<i>The fifth monk said:</i> //
+Before you wait tables yourself, ask a physician if your hearing is poor! //
+To trust oneself is to embrace arrogance. //
+My automated unit tests will be my eyes.
+
+<i>The sixth monk said:</i> //
+It is a poor physician who judges the body by only examining the feet. //
+Make the patient run a dozen /li!/ //
+My automated web-crawler will be my eyes.
+
+<i>The seventh monk said:</i> //
+It is a pig's physician who judges the body by only what can be seen. //
+Let blood and bile be gathered! //
+My static code analyzer will be my eyes.
+
+<i>The eighth monk covered his head with his robe, and said:</i> //
+Seven roads begin here; this blind man must remain behind. //
+Yet if seven go and say what they've seen, I will see further than any. //
+All of these monks will be my eyes.
+
+<i>Banzen remarked to his apprentice [[Satou]]:</i> //
+The second monk does nothing. //
+The eighth monk does nothing. //
+What does your third eye tell you?
+
+<i>Satou answered her master:</i> //
+The nothing of the second monk has virtue, //
+But the nothing of the eighth monk has eight times as much. //
+The eighth should be the new abbot, and the second his servant.
+
+Thus was the eighth monk elevated, //
+and the second monk corrected.

data/data/the-codeless-code/en-qi/case-143.txt

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+Number: 143
+Title: Monolith
+Date: 2014-05-04
+Geekiness: 3
+Names: Djishin, Kaimu, Temple of the White Iron Sky, Tower of the Elephant's Tusk
+Topics: Haskell, functional programming, types, monads, error handling, paradigm shifts
+Credits: Many thanks to benzrf for the suggested edits!
+
+The young monk [[Djishin]] approached master [[Kaimu]] and said,
+"Tell me about the [[Temple of the White Iron Sky]], where
+you were first apprenticed."
+
+Kaimu said, "It is a strange and perilous place.  Knowledge
+hangs in the air as thick as the mist, yet if you linger
+there for an hour you will emerge knowing less than when
+you went in."
+
+Djishin thought, /I must see how such a thing can be true./
+Thus he set out.
+
+By his maps, the temple lay nestled in the folds of a
+forested hill below high mountains; a signpost on the
+main road pointed to an untended path.  Djishin followed the
+path through a great /AND/ Gate and found that the climbing land
+beyond was indeed shrouded in mist, billowing in great roils from
+a grove of weeping-cypress trees further up the hillside.
+The mist curled around the base of a pale tower at the
+center the temple grounds.  The path -- now flagged with
+damp stones -- led Djishin to its steps.
+
+"What is this place, fellow?" he asked a white-clad monk
+seated upon the steps.
+
+The monk looked up from the Haskell code he was studying.
+"Outsiders call it the Tower of the Elephant's Tusk, though
+we know it by another name.  But answer this
+question: Are you a software engineer?"
+
+"In heart and in deed, I am," answered Djishin.
+
+"If you would be one in thought as well, then follow the
+path to the cypress grove, and converse with the nuns that
+meditate there," said the white-clad monk.  "The tower is
+not yet for you."
+
+- - -
+
+Within the grove the mist thickened to a warm and
+bitter-tasting fog; from somewhere up ahead came the sound
+of bubbling water.  The trees parted, and Djishin found
+himself in a clearing where four nuns in white robes sat
+contemplating a monolith of glistening black basalt.  On its
+face were inscriptions such as the monk had never seen:
+
+<pre>
+  (>>=) :: m a -> (a -> m b) -> m b
+          return :: a -> m a
+</pre>
+
+"What is this stone, great ladies?" asked Djishin.
+
+"We call it the Monad," said the first nun.
+
+"Why do you venerate it so?" asked Djishin.
+
+"Through it, we may touch the impure without being
+corrupted," said the second nun.  "We can fell a Maybe-tree
+with a Maybe-ax and always hear a Maybe-sound when it
+crashes down -- even if the sound is Nothing at all, when
+the ax isn't real or there's no tree to fall."
+
+"Can you... explain that explanation?" asked Djishin.
+
+"It empowers us to code without error," said the third nun.
+"For we only deem a function safe if its input alone
+determines its output.  But when a function bleeds
+side-effects, then from each drop a vine may spring to
+pierce our application with its thorns.  The Monad tells us
+how to weave bandages to staunch the flow.  We wrap
+the function up, we bind the Real World down; we pass it in,
+shake it, and pull it back out, and that's what it's all
+about."
+
+"And this inscription, this is code?" asked Djishin,
+wondering at the monolith.
+
+The nuns looked at each other.  "Someday all will know it as
+such, as readily as /20 GOTO 10/.  But answer this
+question: are you a software engineer?"
+
+"I am no longer certain," answered Djishin, whose confusion was complete.
+
+At which point the young monk was enlightened.
+
+
+== Qi's commentary
+
+Ironically, the Monad always has at least one side-effect:
+it makes me feel like an idiot.
+
+
+== Qi's poem
+
+The screen darkens. //
+Semicolons scatter to the four corners of the window. //
+A storm may beat the high hill down -- //
+Yet when the world changes, storms yield to a greater enigma.
+
+
+