fortune-teller 0.1.2 → 0.3.0

package/fortunes/linuxcookie

@@ -1,499 +0,0 @@
-A Linux machine! because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!
-(By jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu, Joe Sloan)
-%
-"A word to the wise: a credentials dicksize war is usually a bad idea on the
-net."
-(David Parsons in c.o.l.development.system, about coding in C.)
-%
-"Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that
-no conclusion can be drawn from them."
-(By Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)
-%
-Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of
-filename completion.
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands: file
-completion vs. the Mac Finder.)
-%
-After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new
-folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or
-speaker of intuitive likes".
-(Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X the
-intuitiveness of a Mac interface.)
-%
-"All language designers are arrogant.  Goes with the territory..."
-(By Larry Wall)
-%
-And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports
-on it, you know they are just evil lies."
-(By Linus Torvalds, Linus.Torvalds@cs.helsinki.fi)
-%
-"...and scantily clad females, of course.  Who cares if it's below zero
-outside"
-(By Linus Torvalds)
-%
-"And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs
-19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to
-get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-> : Any porters out there should feel happier knowing that DEC is shipping
-> : me an AlphaPC that I intend to try getting linux running on: this will
-> : definitely help flush out some of the most flagrant unportable stuff.
-> : The Alpha is much more different from the i386 than the 68k stuff is, so
-> : it's likely to get most of the stuff fixed.
->
-> It's posts like this that almost convince us non-believers that there
-> really is a god.
-(A follow-up by alovell@kerberos.demon.co.uk, Anthony Lovell, to Linus's
-remarks about porting)
-%
-Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of 
-code using nothing but vi or emacs. AAAAACK!
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands, especially
-Emacs.)
-%
-"Are [Linux users] lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
-reliable, well-engineered commercial software?"
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this
-kernel yet.  So if it works, you should be doubly impressed.
-(Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3 on the linux-kernel mailing list.)
-%
-Avoid the Gates of Hell.  Use Linux
-(Unknown source)
-%
-Be warned that typing \fBkillall \fIname\fP may not have the desired
-effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user.
-(From the killall manual page)
-%
-"Besides, I think [Slackware] sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?"
-(By Patrick Volkerding)
-%
-But what can you do with it?  -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner.
-(Submitted by Andy Pearce, ajp@hpopd.pwd.hp.com)
-%
-"By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since
-sliced bread."
-(By Vance Petree, Virginia Power)
-%
-/*
- * Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to
- * terminate things with extreme prejudice.
-*/
-die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code);
-(From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c)				   
-%
-"...Deep Hack Mode--that mysterious and frightening state of
-consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-Dijkstra probably hates me
-(Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c)
-%
-DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system
-     crashes, usually just before saving a massive project.  Easily cured by
-     UNIX.  See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.
-(from David Vicker's .plan)
-%
-/*
- * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum
- * possible RTT.  I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP
- * to talk to the University of Mars.
- * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented
- * ftp to mars will work nicely.
- */
-(from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [retransmission timeout])
-%
-"Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access.  I
-wonder if He has a full newsfeed?"
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
->Ever heard of .cshrc?
-That's a city in Bosnia.  Right?
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands.)
-%
-Fatal Error: Found [MS-Windows] System -> Repartitioning Disk for Linux...
-(By cbbrown@io.org, Christopher Browne)
-%
-How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi i done" in a GUI?
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces.)
-%
-"How should I know if it works?  That's what beta testers are for.  I only
-coded it."
-(Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting)
-%
-----==-- _                     / /  \
----==---(_)__  __ ____  __    / / /\ \
---==---/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ /   / /_/\ \ \
--=====/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\  /______\ \ \
-A proud member of TeamLinux \_________\/
-(By CHaley (HAC), haley@unm.edu, ch008cth@pi.lanl.gov)
-%
-I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.
-Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.
-(By entropy@world.std.com, Lawrence Foard)
-%
-I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody.  It doesn't generate revenue.
-(Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux)
-%
-Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this
-driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).
-(Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device)
-%
-"I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than
-first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then
-I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts')"
-(By Olaf Kirch)
-%
-"I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of
-mice vs. trackballs...It was very silly."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
-fundamental error.  Be thankful you are not my student.  You would not get a
-high grade for such a design :-)
-(Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds)
-%
-"I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than
-10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't."
-(By Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center)
-%
-"I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development
-That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb.  Thank you."
-(By Vance Petree, Virginia Power)
-%
-"I'm an idiot.. At least this one [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.."
-(Linus Torvalds in response to a bug report.)
-
-> I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
-Disquieting ...
-(Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)
-
-> I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
-We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals
-then.
-(Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)
-
-> I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
-Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).
-(Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)
-%
-I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
-months.  I just love debugging ;-)
-(Linus Torvalds)
-%
-Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit
-operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top
-programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated
-yesterday: "World domination, fast -- it's either us or Linus". Mr. Torvalds
-was unavailable for comment ...
-(rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk (Robert Manners), in comp.os.linux.setup)
-%
-    if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1], "-advice") == 0) {
-	printf("Don't Panic!\n");
-	exit(42);
-    }
-(Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February '95, describing RCS)
-%
-+#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)
-+       /*
-+        * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
-+        * this makes the year come out right.
-+        */
-+       year -= 42;
-+#endif
-(From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner)
-%
-"If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on
-the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work."
-(Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications)
-%
-"If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot
-of different places, just write a Unix operating system."
-(By Linus Torvalds)
-%
-"[In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I
-thought of it.  (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less
-abusive.')"
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.
-Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?
-(By hasku@rost.abo.fi, Hasse Skrifvars)
-%
-Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy. The phrase
-was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up"
-(By iialan@www.linux.org.uk, Alan Cox)
-%
-"It's God.  No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-LILO, you've got me on my knees!
-(from David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the
-Dominos, and Werner Almsberger)
-%
-Linux is obsolete
-(Andrew Tanenbaum)
-%
-"Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night
-hacking (and/or conversations with God)."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-Linux!  Guerrilla UNIX Development     Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.
-(By mah@ka4ybr.com, Mark A. Horton KA4YBR)
-%
-"...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals."
-(By Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center)
-%
-linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
-(ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93)
-%
-Linux: Because a PC is a terrible thing to waste.
-(By komarimf@craft.camp.clarkson.edu, Mark Komarinski)
-%
-linux: the choice of a GNU generation
-(ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93)
-%
-"Linux: the operating system with a CLUE...
-Command Line User Environment".
-(seen in a posting in comp.software.testing)
-%
-lp1 on fire
-(One of the more obfuscated kernel messages)
-%
-Microsoft is not the answer.
-Microsoft is the question.
-NO (or Linux) is the answer.
-(Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown)
-%
-'Mounten' wird fuer drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken'
-von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex.
-(Christa Keil in a German posting: "Mounting is used for three things:
-climbing on a horse, linking in a hard disk unit in data systems, and, well,
-mounting during sex".)
-%
-"MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years
-of careful development."
-(By dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca)
-%
-"Never make any mistaeks."
-(Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report.)
-%
-> No manual is ever necessary.
-May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT.  That's the biggest Apple lie of all!
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces.)
-%
-Not me, guy. I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads
-the Bible. No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible. Excuse me...
-(More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc)
-%
-"Note that if I can get you to \"su and say\" something just by asking,
-you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should
-look into it."
-(By Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes)
-%
-Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive,
-because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows
-from that! Har har har!"
-(Andy Bates in comp.os.linux.misc, on "intuitive interfaces", slightly
-defending Macs.)
-%
-Now, it we had this sort of thing:
-  yield -a     for yield to all traffic
-  yield -t     for yield to trucks
-  yield -f     for yield to people walking (yield foot)
-  yield -d t*  for yield on days starting with t
-...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you
-wouldn't believe...
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands.)
-%
-"Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The
-Labs."
-(By Dennis Ritchie)
-%
-"On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK'
-- everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS."
-(By Tarl Neustaedter)
-%
-"On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT"
-(Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com)
-%
-Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was
-good. After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's
-unix tools ported to DOS and installed them. He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd
-happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy. After
-a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file,
-and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do
-a compile.
-(By ewt@tipper.oit.unc.edu (Erik Troan)
-%
-> > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could someone explain why I
-> > should use Linux over BSD?
->
-> No.  That's it.  The cool name, that is.  We worked very hard on
-> creating a name that would appeal to the majority of people, and it
-> certainly paid off: thousands of people are using linux just to be able
-> to say "OS/2? Hah.  I've got Linux.  What a cool name".  386BSD made the
-> mistake of putting a lot of numbers and weird abbreviations into the
-> name, and is scaring away a lot of people just because it sounds too
-> technical.
-(Linus Torvalds' follow-up to a question about Linux)
-%
-Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to
-be the HP-48 series of calculators.  They'll run almost anything.  And if they
-can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the
-HP-48 VT-100 emulator.
-(By jdege@winternet.com, Jeff Dege)
-%
-There are no threads in a.b.p.erotica,  so there's no  gain in using a
-threaded news reader.
-(Unknown source)
-%
-"Problem solving under linux has never been the circus that it is under
-AIX."
-(By Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix)
-%
-quit   When the quit statement is read, the  bc  processor
-       is  terminated, regardless of where the quit state-
-       ment is found.  For example, "if  (0  ==  1)  quit"
-       will cause bc to terminate.
-(Seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic)
-%
-Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Porsche but only
-be able to drive backwards with the handbrake on.
-(Unknown source)
-%
-"sic transit discus mundi"
-(From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius)
-%
-Sigh.  I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on
-the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.
-(Craig E. Groeschel)
-%
-The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license. If
-it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.
-(Copyright notice for the chat program)
-%
-> The day people think linux would be better served by somebody else (FSF
-> being the natural alternative), I'll "abdicate".  I don't think that
-> it's something people have to worry about right now - I don't see it
-> happening in the near future.  I enjoy doing linux, even though it does
-> mean some work, and I haven't gotten any complaints (some almost timid
-> reminders about a patch I have forgotten or ignored, but nothing
-> negative so far).
->
-> Don't take the above to mean that I'll stop the day somebody complains:
-> I'm thick-skinned (Lasu, who is reading this over my shoulder commented
-> that "thick-HEADED is closer to the truth") enough to take some abuse.
-> If I weren't, I'd have stopped developing linux the day ast ridiculed me
-> on c.o.minix.  What I mean is just that while linux has been my baby so
-> far, I don't want to stand in the way if people want to make something
-> better of it (*).
->
->                 Linus
->
-> (*) Hey, maybe I could apply for a saint-hood from the Pope.  Does
-> somebody know what his email-address is? I'm so nice it makes you puke.
-(Taken from Linus's reply to someone worried about the future of Linux)
-%
-The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a
-dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
-(Arno Schaefer's .sig)
-%
-The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.
-(Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X interfaces.)
-%
-There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and
-those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
-(From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a)
-%
-This  message was brought to  you by Linux, the free  unix.
-Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.
-Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules
-win-nt from the people who invented edlin
-apples  have  meant  trouble  since  eden
-Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses
-(By mwikholm@at8.abo.fi, MaDsen Wikholm)
-%
-"...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
-the Ugly)."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-"...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two
-noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer*
-being struck by lightning."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-"Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white
-light. It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In
-a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM
-FOR THE 386."
-(Matt Welsh)
-%
-"We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds."
-(Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam
-Linux Symposium)
-%
-We are MicroSoft.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.
-(Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates)
-%
-We are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.
-(seen in someone's .signature)
-%
-We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!
-(Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan)
-%
-We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.
-(Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu, paraphrasing a quote of Shakespeare)
-%
-We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications. Having the source code
-means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.
-(Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software)
-%
-"What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through
-these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot
-water."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-What's this script do?
-    unzip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; gasp ; yes ; umount ; sleep
-Hint for the answer: not everything is computer-oriented. Sometimes you're
-in a sleeping bag, camping out.
-(Contributed by Frans van der Zande.)
-%
-`When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at
-you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".'
-(By Linus Torvalds)
-%
-"Whip me.  Beat me.  Make me maintain AIX."
-(By Stephan Zielinski)
-%
-"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk ?"
-Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!
-(By leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de, Felix von Leitner)
-%
-Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into
-super-edit-debug-compile mode?
-(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands, especially
-Emacs.)
-%
-Why use Windows, since there is a door?
-(By fachat@galileo.rhein-neckar.de, Andre Fachat)
-%
-"World domination.  Fast"
-(By Linus Torvalds)
-%
-..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar.  Believe me.  I
-speak from experience."
-(By Matt Welsh)
-%
-"...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead
-sit in front of your linux computer playing with the
-all-new-and-improved linux kernel version."
-(By Linus Torvalds)
-%
-Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse
-for some of the brain-damages of minix.
-(Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum)
-%