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+# One-on-One Meeting Guides
+
+**Comprehensive guide to running effective 1-on-1s with engineers.**
+
+---
+
+## Why 1-on-1s Matter
+
+**1-on-1s are the most important meeting you have as a manager.**
+
+They are:
+- **Your primary tool** for building trust and relationships
+- **Early warning system** for problems (burnout, disengagement, conflict)
+- **Career development forum** for growth conversations
+- **Two-way feedback channel** for manager and report
+- **Safe space** for difficult conversations
+
+**What 1-on-1s are NOT:**
+- ❌ Status updates (use stand-ups or async for this)
+- ❌ Manager's agenda only (this is THEIR meeting)
+- ❌ Performance review (separate, formal process)
+- ❌ Optional or easily canceled (highest priority meeting)
+
+---
+
+## Cadence and Duration
+
+### Standard Cadence
+
+**Weekly 30-minute 1-on-1:**
+- **For:** All direct reports
+- **Duration:** 30 minutes minimum
+- **When:** Same day/time each week (consistency matters)
+- **Format:** Video call preferred (see facial expressions, body language)
+
+**Monthly 60-minute Career 1-on-1:**
+- **For:** All direct reports
+- **Duration:** 60 minutes
+- **Focus:** Long-term career goals, growth, skills development
+- **Separate from weekly** - different purpose and depth
+
+### Adjusting Cadence
+
+**More frequent (twice weekly or daily):**
+- New hire in first 90 days
+- Engineer struggling with performance
+- Critical project or high-stress period
+- Significant personal/team changes
+
+**Less frequent (bi-weekly):**
+- Staff+ engineers with high autonomy
+- Strong performers who prefer more space
+- **BUT:** Be careful - reducing frequency can signal lack of care
+
+**Never skip more than 2 weeks** - relationship and trust erode quickly
+
+---
+
+## Weekly 1-on-1 Structure
+
+### Template Agenda (30 minutes)
+
+```
+First 15 minutes - THEIR Agenda:
+├── "What's top of mind for you this week?"
+├── Obstacles and blockers
+├── Concerns or frustrations
+├── Wins and celebrations
+└── Questions for you
+
+Last 15 minutes - YOUR Agenda:
+├── Project updates (if needed)
+├── Feedback (both directions)
+├── Team/org updates they should know
+├── Planning and priorities
+└── Action items recap
+```
+
+**Key principle:** First half is THEIRS, second half is yours. Don't flip this.
+
+### Opening Questions
+
+**Start with open-ended questions:**
+- "What's top of mind for you?"
+- "How are you feeling about work this week?"
+- "What's been energizing? What's been draining?"
+- "What's one thing I can help you with?"
+- "What's going well? What's not going well?"
+
+**Avoid:**
+- "Any updates?" (too vague, leads to status update)
+- "Everything good?" (closed question, easy to deflect)
+- Starting with YOUR agenda (makes it your meeting, not theirs)
+
+### Deep Listening
+
+**Active listening techniques:**
+1. **Pause before responding** - Let them finish, then pause 2-3 seconds
+2. **Paraphrase back** - "So what I'm hearing is..."
+3. **Ask follow-up questions** - "Tell me more about that"
+4. **Validate emotions** - "That sounds frustrating"
+5. **Take notes** - Shows you care, helps follow up
+
+**Avoid:**
+- Interrupting or finishing their sentences
+- Immediately jumping to solutions
+- Checking phone/laptop during meeting
+- Multi-tasking or distracted listening
+- Dismissing concerns ("that's not a big deal")
+
+---
+
+## Conversation Themes
+
+### Theme 1: Obstacles and Blockers
+
+**Questions:**
+- "What's slowing you down this week?"
+- "What blockers can I help remove?"
+- "Is there anything unclear about priorities?"
+- "What do you need from me or other teams?"
+
+**Your role:** Remove obstacles, provide clarity, connect to resources
+
+**Follow-up actions:**
+- Clear blockers within 48 hours if possible
+- If you can't solve it, explain why and alternatives
+- Connect them to people who can help
+
+### Theme 2: Work-Life Balance and Wellbeing
+
+**Questions:**
+- "How's your workload feeling?"
+- "Are you able to disconnect after work?"
+- "How's the on-call rotation impacting you?"
+- "What's your stress level on a scale of 1-10?"
+
+**Red flags to watch for:**
+- Working late nights or weekends regularly
+- Not taking vacation or breaks
+- Appearing exhausted or burned out
+- Increasing cynicism or negativity
+
+**Your actions:**
+- Proactively redistribute work if overloaded
+- Encourage time off and model healthy behavior
+- Address unrealistic expectations from stakeholders
+
+### Theme 3: Team Dynamics
+
+**Questions:**
+- "How's the team dynamic lately?"
+- "Anyone you'd like more/less collaboration with?"
+- "Do you feel heard in team discussions?"
+- "Any conflicts or friction I should be aware of?"
+
+**Why this matters:** Problems fester if not surfaced early
+
+**Your role:**
+- Address conflicts quickly and directly
+- Create space for difficult conversations
+- Coach on communication and collaboration
+
+### Theme 4: Growth and Development
+
+**Questions:**
+- "What skills do you want to develop?"
+- "What kind of projects excite you?"
+- "What's one thing you'd like to learn this quarter?"
+- "Are there areas where you'd like more autonomy?"
+
+**Follow-up:**
+- Identify stretch projects for skill development
+- Connect to mentors or learning resources
+- Create opportunities for growth
+
+### Theme 5: Feedback (Both Directions)
+
+**Giving feedback:**
+- Specific examples, not generalizations
+- Timely (within days, not weeks)
+- Balanced (positive and constructive)
+- Actionable (clear what to do differently)
+
+**Asking for feedback:**
+- "What's one thing I could do better as your manager?"
+- "What should I start/stop/continue doing?"
+- "How can I better support you?"
+- "Am I giving you enough context?"
+
+**Why ask for feedback:** Shows humility, builds trust, improves your management
+
+### Theme 6: Career and Progression
+
+**Questions:**
+- "Where do you see yourself in 2-3 years?"
+- "What does success look like for you?"
+- "What's your ideal next role?"
+- "Are you interested in management or staying IC?"
+
+**Follow-up:**
+- Create development plan with specific goals
+- Regular check-ins on progress toward goals
+- Be honest about promotion timeline and criteria
+
+---
+
+## Monthly Career 1-on-1 (60 minutes)
+
+### Purpose
+
+**Deep dive on long-term career:**
+- Goals and aspirations
+- Skills development
+- Promotion readiness
+- Personal development
+
+**Not for:** Day-to-day work or status updates
+
+### Structure
+
+```
+Part 1: Reflection (15 min)
+├── "Looking back at last quarter, what are you proud of?"
+├── "What challenged you?"
+├── "What did you learn?"
+└── "How do you feel about your growth?"
+
+Part 2: Skills Assessment (15 min)
+├── Review career ladder for their level
+├── "Where are you strong?"
+├── "Where do you want to grow?"
+└── Identify 2-3 development areas
+
+Part 3: Goal Setting (20 min)
+├── "What goals do you have for next quarter?"
+├── Technical skills to develop
+├── Projects for growth
+├── Leadership or collaboration skills
+└── Document goals in shared doc
+
+Part 4: Long-Term Vision (10 min)
+├── "What's your 2-3 year vision?"
+├── "What role do you aspire to?"
+├── "What experiences do you need?"
+└── Discuss realistic path and timeline
+```
+
+### Career Development Plan
+
+**Template:**
+
+```markdown
+## Career Development Plan: [Name]
+Current Level: L4 (Mid-level Engineer)
+Target Level: L5 (Senior Engineer)
+Timeline: 12-18 months
+
+### Strengths
+- Strong technical execution
+- Excellent collaboration with team
+- Consistently delivers projects on time
+
+### Development Areas
+1. Technical depth in Kubernetes
+2. Design skills for larger systems
+3. Mentorship of junior engineers
+
+### Goals for Q1 2024
+1. **Kubernetes Deep Dive**
+   - Complete CKA certification
+   - Lead migration of 5 services to K8s
+   - Present K8s lunch & learn to team
+
+2. **System Design**
+   - Shadow Sarah on next architecture review
+   - Design and propose observability platform
+   - Read "Designing Data-Intensive Applications"
+
+3. **Mentorship**
+   - Mentor Alex (L3) on CI/CD project
+   - Review code with teaching mindset
+   - Pair programming 2 hours/week
+
+### Action Items for Manager
+- Assign K8s migration project to [Name]
+- Invite to architecture reviews
+- Connect with Sarah for mentorship
+- Approve CKA cert ($300)
+
+### Next Review: March 31, 2024
+```
+
+---
+
+## Difficult Conversations
+
+### Performance Issues
+
+**Structure:**
+1. **State the problem clearly** - Specific examples, not vague
+2. **Impact** - Why this matters (team, customers, business)
+3. **Listen** - What's their perspective? Any context you're missing?
+4. **Create improvement plan** - Specific actions, timeline, support
+5. **Follow-up** - Regular check-ins on progress
+
+**Example:**
+> "I want to talk about missed deadlines. In the last 3 sprints, you've committed to 20 points but delivered 12. This impacts the team's ability to deliver our roadmap. Can you help me understand what's happening?"
+
+**Listen for:**
+- Lack of clarity on expectations
+- Workload issues or competing priorities
+- Skill gaps that need addressing
+- Personal issues affecting work
+- Misalignment on what "done" means
+
+**Avoid:**
+- Surprising them (feedback should be ongoing)
+- Being vague ("you need to work harder")
+- Comparing to other engineers
+- Making it personal
+
+### Burnout Signals
+
+**Conversation:**
+> "I've noticed you've been working late and seem exhausted. I'm concerned about your wellbeing. Can we talk about your workload?"
+
+**If they're burned out:**
+- Immediate action: Reduce workload or take time off
+- Medium-term: Redistribute work, hire if needed
+- Long-term: Address root cause (understaffing, unrealistic expectations, toxic culture)
+
+**Don't:**
+- Ignore the signs hoping it gets better
+- Tell them to "just take a vacation" without addressing root cause
+- Make them feel guilty for being burned out
+
+### Resignation Conversations
+
+**When they give notice:**
+1. **Don't panic or guilt-trip** - "That's disappointing, but I understand"
+2. **Ask why** - "Can you share what led to this decision?"
+3. **Listen without defending** - Hear their reasons, don't argue
+4. **Counter-offer (if appropriate)** - Only if you can fix the real issues
+5. **Graceful exit** - Thank them, plan transition
+
+**Exit interview questions:**
+- "What made you start looking?"
+- "What could we have done differently?"
+- "What did you like about working here?"
+- "Any feedback on my management?"
+
+**Use feedback to improve** - Patterns across exits reveal systemic issues
+
+### Conflict Between Team Members
+
+**Your role:** Mediator, not judge
+
+**Process:**
+1. **Talk to each person separately** - Get both perspectives
+2. **Facilitate conversation** - Bring them together if appropriate
+3. **Focus on behaviors, not personalities** - "When X happens..." not "You are..."
+4. **Find common ground** - Shared goals, mutual respect
+5. **Set expectations** - Clear standards for behavior going forward
+
+**Don't:**
+- Take sides or make it about who's "right"
+- Let conflict fester hoping it resolves itself
+- Make it a public issue (handle privately)
+
+---
+
+## Common Mistakes
+
+### Mistake 1: Canceling or Rescheduling
+
+**Why it's bad:** Sends message that they're not priority
+
+**Fix:**
+- Protect 1-on-1 time in calendar (hard block)
+- Only reschedule for true emergencies
+- If you must cancel, reschedule same week
+
+### Mistake 2: Turning It Into Status Update
+
+**Why it's bad:** Wastes opportunity for deeper conversation
+
+**Fix:**
+- Get project updates async (Slack, written)
+- Use 1-on-1 for coaching, feedback, career
+- Ask "What do you need from me?" not "What's your status?"
+
+### Mistake 3: Not Taking Notes
+
+**Why it's bad:** Forget commitments, lose context over time
+
+**Fix:**
+- Keep shared doc with notes from each 1-on-1
+- Action items and follow-ups tracked
+- Refer back to previous conversations
+
+### Mistake 4: Talking Too Much
+
+**Why it's bad:** This is THEIR meeting, not yours
+
+**Fix:**
+- Listen 70%, talk 30%
+- Ask open-ended questions
+- Pause before jumping in with advice
+
+### Mistake 5: Not Following Up on Action Items
+
+**Why it's bad:** Erodes trust ("they don't follow through")
+
+**Fix:**
+- Document action items clearly
+- Review at next 1-on-1
+- If you can't do something, explain why
+
+### Mistake 6: Avoiding Difficult Topics
+
+**Why it's bad:** Problems fester, relationship stays surface-level
+
+**Fix:**
+- Address issues early and directly
+- Create psychological safety for hard conversations
+- Model vulnerability by asking for feedback
+
+---
+
+## 1-on-1 Templates
+
+### Template 1: New Hire (First 90 Days)
+
+**Week 1-2 (Daily 15-min check-ins):**
+- "How was your first day/week?"
+- "What questions do you have?"
+- "What's confusing or unclear?"
+- "Who have you met? Who should you meet?"
+
+**Week 3-12 (Weekly 30-min):**
+- "What's helping you ramp up? What's slowing you down?"
+- "How's the team culture feeling?"
+- "What systems/tools do you need more context on?"
+- "What feedback do you have on onboarding?"
+
+**Month 3 (60-min check-in):**
+- "How do you feel about your first 90 days?"
+- "What's working? What's not?"
+- "Ready to take on more? What kind of projects?"
+- "Any concerns or questions?"
+
+### Template 2: High Performer
+
+**Focus: Growth and retention**
+
+- "What projects are exciting you?"
+- "What skills do you want to develop?"
+- "Where do you want to be in 2 years?"
+- "What would make you leave this company?"
+- "How can I better support you?"
+
+### Template 3: Struggling Performer
+
+**Focus: Improvement plan and support**
+
+- "How do you feel about your performance?"
+- "What obstacles are in your way?"
+- "What support do you need from me?"
+- "Let's review our improvement plan progress"
+- "What's working? What's not working?"
+
+### Template 4: Staff+ Engineer
+
+**Focus: Strategic thinking and org impact**
+
+- "What technical problems are you seeing at org level?"
+- "What initiatives should we invest in?"
+- "How's your work on [strategic project]?"
+- "What do you need from me to unblock that?"
+- "How's your mentorship of senior engineers going?"
+
+---
+
+## Building Psychological Safety
+
+**What is psychological safety?**
+The belief that you won't be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes.
+
+**How to create it:**
+
+1. **Model vulnerability**
+   - Share your own mistakes and learning
+   - Ask for feedback publicly
+   - Admit when you don't know something
+
+2. **Respond positively to bad news**
+   - "Thank you for telling me" (first response)
+   - Don't shoot the messenger
+   - Focus on learning, not blame
+
+3. **Ask open questions**
+   - "What am I missing?"
+   - "What concerns do you have?"
+   - "What would you do differently?"
+
+4. **No surprises**
+   - Regular feedback (not saved for reviews)
+   - Transparent about company/team changes
+   - Explain the "why" behind decisions
+
+5. **Follow through**
+   - If they raise concerns, act on them
+   - If you can't act, explain why
+   - Close the loop on every issue raised
+
+**Signs you've built it:**
+- They share mistakes without fear
+- They disagree with you in meetings
+- They bring up problems early
+- They ask "dumb" questions
+- They give you honest feedback
+
+---
+
+## Topics Checklist (Rotate Through These)
+
+Use this checklist to ensure you're covering all important areas over time:
+
+**Weekly (should come up regularly):**
+- [ ] Current projects and obstacles
+- [ ] Team dynamics and collaboration
+- [ ] Immediate concerns or frustrations
+- [ ] Workload and wellbeing
+
+**Monthly:**
+- [ ] Skills development and learning
+- [ ] Career goals and progression
+- [ ] Feedback (both directions)
+- [ ] Team culture and belonging
+
+**Quarterly:**
+- [ ] Long-term career vision
+- [ ] Promotion readiness discussion
+- [ ] Company/org strategy and alignment
+- [ ] Personal development goals
+
+**As needed:**
+- [ ] Performance issues
+- [ ] Conflict resolution
+- [ ] Compensation and recognition
+- [ ] Work-life balance concerns
+- [ ] Major life events (personal context)
+
+---
+
+## Questions Bank (Keep Fresh)
+
+**Bookmark these for variety:**
+
+**Energy & Motivation:**
+- "What part of your work energizes you most?"
+- "What drains you?"
+- "What would you do more of if you could?"
+- "What would you do less of?"
+
+**Impact & Recognition:**
+- "What impact are you most proud of?"
+- "Do you feel your work is recognized?"
+- "What contributions feel undervalued?"
+
+**Team & Collaboration:**
+- "Who on the team inspires you?"
+- "Who would you like to work with more?"
+- "How can we improve team collaboration?"
+
+**Growth & Challenge:**
+- "What's the right level of challenge for you right now?"
+- "Where do you feel like you're coasting?"
+- "Where do you feel stretched?"
+
+**Manager Support:**
+- "What can I do more of?"
+- "What can I do less of?"
+- "What's one thing I could change that would help you?"
+
+**Career & Future:**
+- "What role do you aspire to?"
+- "What skills do you want to be known for?"
+- "What would make this your dream job?"
+
+---
+
+## Key Takeaways
+
+1. **Never cancel** - 1-on-1s are highest priority meeting
+2. **Their meeting, their agenda** - First half is theirs
+3. **Listen 70%, talk 30%** - You should be listening most of the time
+4. **Take notes** - In shared doc, track action items
+5. **Follow up** - Always close the loop on commitments
+6. **Be consistent** - Same day/time each week
+7. **Go deep** - Skip status updates, focus on growth and challenges
+8. **Ask for feedback** - Model vulnerability and continuous improvement
+9. **Build psychological safety** - Make it safe to share bad news
+10. **Vary topics** - Use checklist to ensure coverage over time
+
+**Remember:** 1-on-1s are your most powerful tool as a manager. Done well, they build trust, prevent problems, and help people grow. Done poorly or skipped, they signal that you don't care.
+
+Make them count.