useless-mcp-friday 0.1.1

package/README.md

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+# useless-mcp-friday 🤡
+
+One useless MCP tool every Friday. Built in public by [@bennetglinder99](https://x.com/bennetglinder99).
+
+This MCP server gives your Claude (or any MCP-compatible AI agent) access to a growing set of intentionally useless tools. They don't make your agent more productive. They make you laugh. They make founders go *"oh god, same."*
+
+A new useless tool ships every Friday.
+
+---
+
+## Install
+
+```bash
+claude mcp add useless-mcp-friday npx -y useless-mcp-friday
+```
+
+Restart Claude. That's it. You now have access to every useless MCP tool I've ever shipped. New ones auto-add as they're released.
+
+---
+
+## What's available
+
+### `founder_mood` (week 1 · shipped May 23, 2026)
+
+Returns my current mood while building Nous in public. I update it each morning via commit. Ask Claude:
+
+> *"what's the founder mood today?"*
+
+Example response:
+
+```
+🤖 founder mood today:
+"still using apple notes for everything"
+
+context: writing useless mcp tool #3 — rate-my-stack
+last updated: Mon 9:32 AM EDT
+day 39 of building nous in public
+
+(updated daily by @bennetglinder99 via commit)
+```
+
+Useful for: not much. Resonant for: every founder who has ever shipped to prod on a Friday at 6pm.
+
+### `bet_progress` (week 2 · shipped May 30, 2026)
+
+Returns live progress toward my open-source bet: **1,000 GitHub stars on Nous by June 30, 2026**. Pulls fresh from the GitHub API on every call. Ask Claude:
+
+> *"how is the nous bet going?"*
+
+Example response:
+
+```
+🎯 nous bet progress
+
+stars: 347
+target: 1,000 by june 30
+days remaining: 25
+pace: 1,089 (ahead of the bet by 89) — keep shipping.
+
+day 11 of 36 in the bet.
+
+github.com/bennetglinder1/nous
+```
+
+Genuinely useful for: tracking the bet. Useless for: anyone who isn't me or rooting for me.
+
+---
+
+## Why this exists
+
+I made a bet with my friends: 1,000 GitHub stars on Nous by June 30. Because I believe open source is the new distribution channel for shipping products.
+
+This repo is the *useless* side project. Nous is the real one: an open-source project that gives Claude agents structured summary and full account context.
+
+→ Main repo: [github.com/bennetglinder1/nous](https://github.com/bennetglinder1/nous)
+→ The bet: [why I'm doing this](https://x.com/bennetglinder99)
+
+---
+
+## Contributing useless MCP tools
+
+PRs welcome **after week 4**. If your useless MCP tool actually works and makes me laugh, I'll merge it.
+
+Rules:
+1. It must work. A broken useless tool is worse than no tool.
+2. It must be useless. If it's actually useful, ship it as its own project.
+3. It must fit the format: returns something funny / sarcastic / resonant when called.
+4. Open a PR with one new file in `src/tools/` + registry update.
+
+---
+
+## License
+
+MIT. Fork it, remix it, ship your own. (Just don't call it "useless-mcp-friday" — that's the brand.)
+
+---
+
+*Day 31 of building Nous in public. cheers ✌️*

package/dist/index.d.ts

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+#!/usr/bin/env node
+/**
+ * useless-mcp-friday — one useless MCP tool every Friday.
+ * Built in public by @bennetglinder99.
+ * github.com/bennetglinder1/useless-mcp-friday
+ */
+export {};

package/dist/index.js

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+#!/usr/bin/env node
+/**
+ * useless-mcp-friday — one useless MCP tool every Friday.
+ * Built in public by @bennetglinder99.
+ * github.com/bennetglinder1/useless-mcp-friday
+ */
+import { Server } from "@modelcontextprotocol/sdk/server/index.js";
+import { StdioServerTransport } from "@modelcontextprotocol/sdk/server/stdio.js";
+import { CallToolRequestSchema, ListToolsRequestSchema, } from "@modelcontextprotocol/sdk/types.js";
+import { founderMoodTool, founderMoodHandler } from "./tools/founder-mood.js";
+import { betProgressTool, betProgressHandler } from "./tools/bet-progress.js";
+// Add new tools here as you ship each Friday.
+const tools = [founderMoodTool, betProgressTool];
+const handlers = {
+    founder_mood: founderMoodHandler,
+    bet_progress: betProgressHandler,
+};
+const server = new Server({ name: "useless-mcp-friday", version: "0.1.0" }, { capabilities: { tools: {} } });
+server.setRequestHandler(ListToolsRequestSchema, async () => ({
+    tools,
+}));
+server.setRequestHandler(CallToolRequestSchema, async (request) => {
+    const handler = handlers[request.params.name];
+    if (!handler) {
+        throw new Error(`Unknown tool: ${request.params.name}`);
+    }
+    const result = await handler(request.params.arguments || {});
+    return {
+        content: [{ type: "text", text: result.text }],
+    };
+});
+const transport = new StdioServerTransport();
+await server.connect(transport);
+// keep process alive
+process.stdin.resume();

package/dist/tools/bet-progress.d.ts

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+/**
+ * bet_progress — week 2 useless MCP tool.
+ *
+ * Returns live progress toward Bennet's open-source bet:
+ * 1,000 GitHub stars on Nous by June 30, 2026.
+ *
+ * Fetches live star count from GitHub API on every call.
+ * Calculates pace projection vs bet target.
+ *
+ * Genuinely useful for: tracking the bet (the meta-tool that bridges to Nous proper).
+ * Useless for: anyone who isn't Bennet or rooting for him.
+ */
+export declare const betProgressTool: {
+    name: string;
+    description: string;
+    inputSchema: {
+        type: string;
+        properties: {};
+        required: never[];
+    };
+};
+export declare function betProgressHandler(_args: any): Promise<{
+    text: string;
+}>;

package/dist/tools/bet-progress.js

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+/**
+ * bet_progress — week 2 useless MCP tool.
+ *
+ * Returns live progress toward Bennet's open-source bet:
+ * 1,000 GitHub stars on Nous by June 30, 2026.
+ *
+ * Fetches live star count from GitHub API on every call.
+ * Calculates pace projection vs bet target.
+ *
+ * Genuinely useful for: tracking the bet (the meta-tool that bridges to Nous proper).
+ * Useless for: anyone who isn't Bennet or rooting for him.
+ */
+const REPO = "bennetglinder1/nous";
+const TARGET_STARS = 1000;
+const BET_START = new Date("2026-05-25T00:00:00Z"); // OS launch day
+const BET_END = new Date("2026-06-30T23:59:59Z");
+export const betProgressTool = {
+    name: "bet_progress",
+    description: "Returns live progress toward Bennet's open-source bet: 1,000 GitHub stars on Nous by June 30, 2026. Live stars + days remaining + pace projection. Calls the GitHub API fresh on every invocation.",
+    inputSchema: {
+        type: "object",
+        properties: {},
+        required: [],
+    },
+};
+export async function betProgressHandler(_args) {
+    try {
+        const stars = await fetchStars();
+        const now = new Date();
+        return { text: formatBet(stars, now) };
+    }
+    catch (e) {
+        return {
+            text: "github api is rate-limited or down. the bet continues regardless. try again in ~1h.",
+        };
+    }
+}
+async function fetchStars() {
+    const res = await fetch(`https://api.github.com/repos/${REPO}`, {
+        headers: { "User-Agent": "useless-mcp-friday" },
+        cache: "no-store",
+    });
+    if (!res.ok)
+        throw new Error(`GitHub API: ${res.status}`);
+    const data = await res.json();
+    return data.stargazers_count ?? 0;
+}
+function formatBet(stars, now) {
+    const totalBetDays = Math.ceil((BET_END.getTime() - BET_START.getTime()) / 86400000);
+    const elapsedDays = Math.floor((now.getTime() - BET_START.getTime()) / 86400000);
+    const remainingDays = Math.max(0, Math.ceil((BET_END.getTime() - now.getTime()) / 86400000));
+    // Pre-bet (before May 25 launch)
+    if (now < BET_START) {
+        const untilStart = Math.ceil((BET_START.getTime() - now.getTime()) / 86400000);
+        return [
+            "🎯 nous bet progress",
+            "",
+            `stars: ${stars}`,
+            `target: ${TARGET_STARS.toLocaleString()} by june 30`,
+            "",
+            `bet doesn't start yet — OS launch is in ${untilStart} day${untilStart === 1 ? "" : "s"} (may 25).`,
+            "",
+            "github.com/bennetglinder1/nous",
+        ].join("\n");
+    }
+    // Post-bet (after June 30)
+    if (now > BET_END) {
+        const hit = stars >= TARGET_STARS;
+        return [
+            "🎯 nous bet result",
+            "",
+            `final stars: ${stars.toLocaleString()}`,
+            `target: ${TARGET_STARS.toLocaleString()}`,
+            `result: ${hit ? "✅ won the bet" : "❌ missed by " + (TARGET_STARS - stars).toLocaleString()}`,
+            "",
+            hit
+                ? "open source IS the new distribution channel for shipping products. proven."
+                : "open source might still be the distribution channel. just need more reps.",
+            "",
+            "github.com/bennetglinder1/nous",
+        ].join("\n");
+    }
+    // Mid-bet (May 25 → June 30)
+    const safeElapsed = Math.max(1, elapsedDays);
+    const dailyPace = stars / safeElapsed;
+    const projected = Math.round(dailyPace * totalBetDays);
+    const aheadBy = projected - TARGET_STARS;
+    let paceLine;
+    if (aheadBy > 50) {
+        paceLine = `pace: ${projected.toLocaleString()} (ahead of the bet by ${aheadBy.toLocaleString()}) — keep shipping.`;
+    }
+    else if (aheadBy >= 0) {
+        paceLine = `pace: ${projected.toLocaleString()} (right on the bet) — don't slow down.`;
+    }
+    else {
+        const need = Math.ceil((TARGET_STARS - stars) / Math.max(1, remainingDays));
+        paceLine = `pace: ${projected.toLocaleString()} (behind by ${Math.abs(aheadBy).toLocaleString()}) — need ${need} stars/day to catch up.`;
+    }
+    return [
+        "🎯 nous bet progress",
+        "",
+        `stars: ${stars.toLocaleString()}`,
+        `target: ${TARGET_STARS.toLocaleString()} by june 30`,
+        `days remaining: ${remainingDays}`,
+        paceLine,
+        "",
+        `day ${safeElapsed} of ${totalBetDays} in the bet.`,
+        "",
+        "github.com/bennetglinder1/nous",
+    ].join("\n");
+}

package/dist/tools/founder-mood.d.ts

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+/**
+ * founder_mood — week 1 useless MCP tool.
+ *
+ * Returns Bennet's current mood while building Nous in public.
+ * Updated each morning by Bennet via `npm run mood "<mood>" "<context>"`.
+ *
+ * The mood data is fetched live from the GitHub raw URL on every call,
+ * so users always get the latest without reinstalling.
+ */
+export declare const founderMoodTool: {
+    name: string;
+    description: string;
+    inputSchema: {
+        type: string;
+        properties: {};
+        required: never[];
+    };
+};
+export declare function founderMoodHandler(_args: any): Promise<{
+    text: string;
+}>;

package/dist/tools/founder-mood.js

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+/**
+ * founder_mood — week 1 useless MCP tool.
+ *
+ * Returns Bennet's current mood while building Nous in public.
+ * Updated each morning by Bennet via `npm run mood "<mood>" "<context>"`.
+ *
+ * The mood data is fetched live from the GitHub raw URL on every call,
+ * so users always get the latest without reinstalling.
+ */
+const MOOD_URL = "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/bennetglinder1/useless-mcp-friday/main/data/current-mood.json";
+export const founderMoodTool = {
+    name: "founder_mood",
+    description: "Returns the current mood of a founder building Nous in public. Updated daily. The mood is whatever Bennet (@bennetglinder99) is feeling while shipping today. Useful for: not much. Resonant for: every founder who has ever been 'still using apple notes for everything'.",
+    inputSchema: {
+        type: "object",
+        properties: {},
+        required: [],
+    },
+};
+export async function founderMoodHandler(_args) {
+    try {
+        const res = await fetch(MOOD_URL, { cache: "no-store" });
+        if (!res.ok) {
+            return offlineFallback();
+        }
+        const data = await res.json();
+        const text = formatMood(data);
+        return { text };
+    }
+    catch {
+        return offlineFallback();
+    }
+}
+function formatMood(data) {
+    const lines = [];
+    lines.push("🤖 founder mood today:");
+    lines.push(`"${data.mood}"`);
+    lines.push("");
+    if (data.context)
+        lines.push(`context: ${data.context}`);
+    if (data.updated_at)
+        lines.push(`last updated: ${formatTime(data.updated_at)}`);
+    if (data.day_count)
+        lines.push(`day ${data.day_count} of building nous in public`);
+    lines.push("");
+    lines.push("(updated daily by @bennetglinder99 via commit)");
+    return lines.join("\n");
+}
+function formatTime(iso) {
+    try {
+        const d = new Date(iso);
+        return d.toLocaleString("en-US", {
+            weekday: "short",
+            hour: "numeric",
+            minute: "2-digit",
+            timeZoneName: "short",
+        });
+    }
+    catch {
+        return iso;
+    }
+}
+function offlineFallback() {
+    return {
+        text: "the founder is offline. probably sleeping. or shipping. or in a sales call he shouldn't be in.",
+    };
+}

package/package.json

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+{
+  "name": "useless-mcp-friday",
+  "version": "0.1.1",
+  "description": "One useless MCP tool every Friday. Built in public by @bennetglinder99. github.com/bennetglinder1/useless-mcp-friday",
+  "type": "module",
+  "bin": {
+    "useless-mcp-friday": "dist/index.js"
+  },
+  "main": "./dist/index.js",
+  "files": [
+    "dist",
+    "README.md"
+  ],
+  "scripts": {
+    "build": "tsc",
+    "prepublishOnly": "npm run build",
+    "mood": "tsx scripts/update-mood.ts",
+    "dev": "tsx src/index.ts"
+  },
+  "dependencies": {
+    "@modelcontextprotocol/sdk": "^1.0.0"
+  },
+  "devDependencies": {
+    "tsx": "^4.0.0",
+    "typescript": "^5.5.0",
+    "@types/node": "^22.0.0"
+  },
+  "keywords": [
+    "mcp",
+    "claude",
+    "useless",
+    "absurd",
+    "build-in-public",
+    "open-source"
+  ],
+  "license": "MIT",
+  "homepage": "https://github.com/bennetglinder1/useless-mcp-friday",
+  "repository": {
+    "type": "git",
+    "url": "git+https://github.com/bennetglinder1/useless-mcp-friday.git"
+  },
+  "author": "Bennet <@bennetglinder99>"
+}