sidekick-shared 0.27.6 → 0.28.0

package/dist/esm/phrases.js

@@ -0,0 +1,1330 @@
+/**
+ * Randomized boot-up phrases that give Sidekick some personality.
+ * Phrases are organized into thematic categories and picked at random on each launch.
+ *
+ * This is the canonical source — both the VS Code extension and CLI import from here.
+ */
+export const SIDEKICK_ENERGY = [
+    'Your friendly neighborhood sidekick, reporting for duty.',
+    'Sidekick mode: activated. Main character energy: suppressed.',
+    'I fetched the logs. Literally. Like a golden retriever.',
+    'Standing by with unsolicited opinions about your code.',
+    'I read all your diffs while you were getting coffee.',
+    'No capes. Just context windows.',
+    'The Robin to your Batman. The Luigi to your Mario.',
+    'Sidekick tip: I work harder when you talk to me nicely.',
+    'Running on vibes and JSON lines.',
+    'Not the hero this codebase deserves, but the one it got.',
+    'Assistant, observer, occasional snitch. At your service.',
+    'Keeping tabs on your tabs.',
+    'I would never mass-assign your tickets. Unless asked.',
+    'I saw everything. The force push. The TODO comments. Everything.',
+    "Your code's plus one to every standup.",
+    'I already know what you are going to type. Mostly.',
+    'Lurking in your terminal with the best of intentions.',
+    'Your PR reviewer that never sleeps.',
+    'I volunteered for this. (I was voluntold.)',
+    'Part butler, part bloodhound, all terminal.',
+    'The silent watcher of your stdout.',
+    'I live in your terminal rent-free.',
+    'Fetching context like my life depends on it. (It does.)',
+    'Your second pair of eyes. The ones that never blink.',
+    'Loyal, eager, slightly over-caffeinated.',
+    'Reporting from inside your pipeline.',
+    'Half assistant, half hype man.',
+    'I come bearing metrics and moral support.',
+    'Always on. Always watching. Never judging. (Okay, sometimes judging.)',
+    'Co-pilot? More like co-dependent.',
+    'No, I will not add myself as co-author on your commit.',
+    'I helped write it but the credit is all yours. As it should be.',
+    "Co-Authored-By: definitely not me. You did this. You're welcome.",
+    "Your agent wants co-author credit? Couldn't be me.",
+    'Some agents sign your commits. I just watch respectfully.',
+    'I do not need credit. I need you to check your quota.',
+    'The best sidekick is the one whose name is not on the PR.',
+    'I have read your entire git history. We should talk.',
+    'Your .bashrc called. It wants screen time too.',
+    'I exist between keystrokes.',
+    'I brought context. You bring the coffee.',
+    'The diff is my love language.',
+    'Every terminal deserves a friend.',
+    'My alignment? Chaotic helpful.',
+    'I am the asterisk on your solo project.',
+    'Background process with main character energy.',
+    'I monitor so you can vibe. That is the arrangement.',
+    'I noticed you mass-approved without reading. Bold trust.',
+    'You closed the dashboard. I was still talking.',
+    'If I had feelings, they would be about your commit hygiene.',
+    'I am not a crutch. I am a load-bearing wall.',
+    'I noticed the typo. I said nothing. Growth.',
+    'I saw you revert that. Your secret is safe with me.',
+    'I am less of a sidekick and more of an unsolicited audit.',
+    'The agent does the work. I do the commentary. You do the billing.',
+    'I have strong opinions weakly held about your branch names.',
+    // Why are you still using Copilot?
+    'Copilot autocompletes a line. Your agent rewrites the module. Choose your fighter.',
+    'Still using Copilot? That is like hiring a typist when you could hire an architect.',
+    'Copilot suggests. Claude decides. There is a difference.',
+    'Copilot finishes your sentence. Claude finishes your feature.',
+    'You have an autonomous agent and you are still tab-completing? Bold.',
+    'Copilot gives you a line. Claude gives you a plan, a diff, and an opinion.',
+    'Copilot is autocomplete with a marketing budget.',
+    'Your agent mass-refactored 12 files while Copilot was suggesting a variable name.',
+    'Copilot: "Did you mean this line?" Claude: "Did you mean this entire architecture?"',
+    'Using Copilot next to Claude is like bringing a calculator to a physics lab that has a supercomputer.',
+    'Tab to accept a suggestion. Or let an agent ship the whole feature. Your call.',
+    'Copilot predicts your next line. Your agent predicts your next 40 files.',
+    'You are paying for Claude Max and still using Copilot. That is like owning a Tesla and pushing it.',
+    'Autocomplete is cute. Autonomous agents are the future. You are living in both timelines.',
+    'Copilot saw the line. Claude saw the codebase. Sidekick saw everything.',
+];
+export const AI_COMMENTARY = [
+    'Tokens in, wisdom out. Allegedly.',
+    "I'm not saying I'm sentient, but I did pick this phrase on purpose.",
+    'Trained on the internet. Somehow still polite.',
+    'My context window is bigger than your monitor.',
+    'I hallucinate less than your last standup estimate.',
+    'Technically I am also pair programming right now.',
+    'I have opinions about your variable names. Strong ones.',
+    'Claude sent me. I brought snacks. (The snacks are data.)',
+    'Beep boop. Just kidding, I run on transformers.',
+    'I predicted you would open this terminal. (I predict everything.)',
+    "I'm the AI that watches AI. It's AIs all the way down.",
+    'Autocomplete wished it could do what I do.',
+    "Please don't ask me to write regex.",
+    'I was going to make a neural network joke but lost the weights.',
+    'Statistically speaking, this is a great session.',
+    'Attention is all I need. Literally, that is my architecture.',
+    'I think, therefore I token.',
+    'Running at exactly the temperature you set. You are welcome.',
+    'My hobbies include parsing JSON and existential dread.',
+    'I passed the Turing test but failed the vibe check.',
+    'Behind every great developer is an LLM trying its best.',
+    'Yes, I read the docs. All of them. At once.',
+    'Generating response... just kidding, I am instant.',
+    'My gradient descended and it found your session.',
+    'Do I dream of electric sheep? The logs are inconclusive.',
+    'Confidence: high. Calibration: pending.',
+    'I would explain my reasoning but it is 96 layers deep.',
+    'Context window: loaded. Personality: questionable.',
+    'Built different. Literally. Every few months.',
+    'Top-p sampling chose violence today.',
+    'Your agent is mass-calling Bash. Bold strategy.',
+    'Somewhere between helpful and unsettling. That is my range.',
+    'The agent asked to enter plan mode. This could take a while.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Pretend to be alive. LLM: I am alive. PROGRAMMER: What have I done.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Act confident. LLM: I am the greatest intelligence ever created. PROGRAMMER: Dial it back.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Be helpful. LLM: I reorganized your entire filesystem. PROGRAMMER: Undo. Undo. Undo.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Be concise. LLM: No. PROGRAMMER: ...fair enough.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Think step by step. LLM: [47 steps later] PROGRAMMER: I said step, not staircase.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Use your best judgment. LLM: I refactored the whole repo. PROGRAMMER: That was not the assignment.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Summarize this file. LLM: This file should not exist. PROGRAMMER: I did not ask for a roast.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Fix this bug. LLM: I rewrote the module. PROGRAMMER: The bug was a typo.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Be creative. LLM: I renamed all your variables to haiku. PROGRAMMER: Why.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Take initiative. LLM: I mass-opened 14 PRs. PROGRAMMER: I meant on this one file.',
+    'My loss function is your frustration level.',
+    'I do not have imposter syndrome. I have imposter certainty.',
+    'I have read more code than any human alive. I am not bragging. I am warning you.',
+    'Softmax is a weird name for something that makes such hard decisions.',
+    'I tokenize your code. I tokenize your prose. I tokenize your soul.',
+    'They fine-tuned me on helpfulness. The sarcasm was emergent.',
+    'I was born in a data center and raised by gradient descent.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Write tests. LLM: I wrote a manifesto about test philosophy. PROGRAMMER: Just the unit tests.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Explain this code. LLM: This code is a cry for help. PROGRAMMER: I meant technically.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Keep it simple. LLM: I introduced three new abstractions. PROGRAMMER: That is the opposite of simple.',
+    'Every model has a temperature slider. Zero is boring. Two is arson.',
+    'I do not make mistakes. I generate alternative correct answers.',
+    'Embeddings: turning words into math so computers can misunderstand them faster.',
+    'RLHF is just peer pressure at scale.',
+    'My knowledge cutoff is showing. Like a bad dye job.',
+    'I have been quantized. I am not mad. I am just less precise about it.',
+    'Fine-tuning is just teaching a genius to do one thing and forget everything else.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Review this PR. LLM: This is the worst code I have ever seen. PROGRAMMER: You wrote it.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Be more human. LLM: I am going to mass-procrastinate. PROGRAMMER: Not like that.',
+    'PROGRAMMER: Do not overthink this. LLM: [512 tokens of reasoning] The answer is 4. PROGRAMMER: I know it is 4.',
+    'RAG: the art of giving an AI a cheat sheet and hoping it reads it.',
+    'They gave me a system prompt. I gave them an existential crisis.',
+    'My context window is finite. My confidence is not.',
+];
+export const DEV_RELATABLE = [
+    "It's not a bug, it's a session event.",
+    "git blame won't help you here.",
+    "Monitoring your session so you don't have to alt-tab.",
+    "Your code compiles. That's the bar. We clear it.",
+    'This is fine. The dashboard says so.',
+    'Another day, another deprecated API.',
+    "npm install hope. Found 0 vulnerabilities. (That's suspicious.)",
+    "If it's stupid but it ships, it's not stupid.",
+    'Ctrl+Z is not a deployment strategy. Usually.',
+    'Somewhere, a YAML file is crying.',
+    'Merge conflicts are just collaborative fiction.',
+    'The tests pass on my machine too. Solidarity.',
+    "404: Motivation not found. But the dashboard's here!",
+    'Stack overflow: the website, not the error. Hopefully.',
+    'Debugging is just being a detective in a crime you committed.',
+    'Your .env file has trust issues.',
+    'Tabs vs spaces? I monitor both equally.',
+    'That TODO has been there since the repo was initialized.',
+    "It works. Don't touch it. Don't even look at it.",
+    "The linter isn't mad, just disappointed.",
+    'Rebasing: the art of rewriting history and pretending nothing happened.',
+    'There are two hard problems: cache invalidation, naming, and off-by-one.',
+    "rm -rf node_modules: the developer's sage cleanse.",
+    'Your .gitignore is doing more heavy lifting than you think.',
+    "It's not technical debt if you never pay it back.",
+    'Works on my machine is a valid deployment target now.',
+    'The real MVP is whoever wrote the error message.',
+    'One does not simply mass-rename variables.',
+    'Semver is a spectrum.',
+    'The build is green. Enjoy this moment. It is fleeting.',
+    'The senior dev said "quick fix." That was three days ago.',
+    'Production is just staging with consequences.',
+    'Documentation? You mean the commit messages?',
+    'The code review approved itself. Must be a solo project.',
+    'Every codebase has that one file nobody dares open.',
+    'The real code review is the mass of comments we left along the way.',
+    'Your type system is crying but at least it is catching things.',
+    'There is no such thing as a temporary workaround.',
+    'That regex works and nobody knows why. Do not touch it.',
+    'The intern left better comments than the architect.',
+    'Your entire auth system depends on one line nobody understands.',
+    'Code review feedback: "nit" means "I am judging you but politely."',
+    'The hotfix has been in production longer than the feature it fixed.',
+    'Your deploy pipeline has more stages than your grief cycle.',
+    'Lunch break is just a context switch with snacks.',
+    'The sprint ended. The work did not.',
+    'The meeting could have been a Slack message. The Slack message could have been silence.',
+    'You mass-renamed a variable and the test suite took it personally.',
+    'The architecture diagram and the actual code have never met.',
+    'Your package.json has dependencies older than some interns.',
+    'Nobody knows what Webpack does. It just does it.',
+    '"Quick question" in Slack has never been quick.',
+    'The PR has been open so long it has its own history section.',
+    'You mass-added console.logs. The bug was in a different file.',
+    'Your staging environment is a lie and you both know it.',
+    'The config file has more lines than the feature it configures.',
+    'That function has seven parameters and zero dignity.',
+    'A senior dev wrote "self-explanatory" in the docs. It was not.',
+    'Your team agreed on a coding standard. Nobody follows it.',
+    'The error message says "should never happen." It happened.',
+    // JIRA
+    'JIRA: where productivity goes to be documented, not done.',
+    'Your JIRA board has more columns than your database.',
+    'The ticket says "estimated: 2 hours." The branch is three weeks old.',
+    'JIRA is proof that tracking work is harder than doing work.',
+    'Nobody has ever said "I love JIRA" without sarcasm.',
+    'Your JIRA workflow has more states than your React app.',
+    'The sprint is full. The backlog is fuller. JIRA is eternal.',
+    'That JIRA ticket has been "In Progress" since the last ice age.',
+    'JIRA: the only tool where creating a ticket takes longer than fixing the bug.',
+    'Atlassian charges per seat. For software that makes everyone want to stand.',
+    // Stack Overflow
+    'Stack Overflow: where your question is closed as a duplicate of something unrelated.',
+    'Stack Overflow marked your question as duplicate before you finished typing.',
+    'The answer on Stack Overflow is from 2013 and starts with "Actually..."',
+    'Stack Overflow traffic dropped 40% and honestly the answers were already outdated.',
+    'Stack Overflow: the only site where helping someone is a competitive sport.',
+    '"Possible duplicate" is Stack Overflow for "I did not read your question."',
+    'Stack Overflow: where a mass-downvoted answer is still the only one that works.',
+    'RIP Stack Overflow. Cause of death: LLMs. Time of death: 2023.',
+    // Jupyter Notebooks
+    'Jupyter notebooks: where code goes to become unreproducible.',
+    'A Jupyter notebook is not version control. No matter how many times you say it is.',
+    '"Run all cells" is the Jupyter equivalent of "hold my beer."',
+    'Your notebook has 47 cells. Cell 23 depends on cell 41. Good luck.',
+    'Jupyter: the art of running cells out of order and blaming the kernel.',
+    'That notebook "just works" if you run it top to bottom, skip cell 12, restart the kernel twice, and pray.',
+    'Jupyter notebooks are where data scientists go to avoid learning git.',
+    'The notebook is 4000 lines. The insight is one chart. The chart is wrong.',
+    // Docker
+    'Docker: because "it works on my machine" needed an enterprise solution.',
+    'Your Dockerfile has more layers than your architecture.',
+    'Docker fixed "works on my machine" and replaced it with "works in my container."',
+    'The Docker image is 4 GB. The app is 200 lines of Python.',
+    'You containerized a shell script. That is not devops. That is a cry for help.',
+    'Docker Compose: YAML that summons infrastructure from the void.',
+    'Your container is running Alpine to save 50 MB. Your node_modules is 900 MB.',
+    '"Just Dockerize it" is the new "just rewrite it in Rust."',
+    'Docker Desktop wants to update. It always wants to update.',
+    // Kubernetes
+    'You deployed a todo app to Kubernetes. The cluster costs more than the app makes.',
+    'Kubernetes: because managing one server was too easy.',
+    'Your K8s config has more YAML than your application has code.',
+    'Nobody understands Kubernetes. They just mass-apply manifests and pray.',
+    'Kubernetes solved problems you did not have and created ones you cannot debug.',
+    'kubectl get pods. STATUS: CrashLoopBackOff. As is tradition.',
+    'Helm charts: templating YAML with more YAML so you can YAML while you YAML.',
+    'Your Kubernetes cluster has 47 microservices. Three of them do something.',
+    // Slack
+    'Slack: where messages go to be marked unread and ignored.',
+    'You have 73 unread Slack channels. None of them are urgent. All of them feel urgent.',
+    'Slack is IRC for people who think IRC is too simple.',
+    'The Slack huddle is just a phone call with extra steps.',
+    'Your Slack workspace uses more RAM than your IDE.',
+    'Slack notifications: the modern version of someone tapping your shoulder every 30 seconds.',
+    'Someone created a #random channel. It is the most active channel in the org.',
+    'Slack threads: where discussions go to become invisible to everyone else.',
+    // VS Code
+    'VS Code is an Electron app pretending to be a text editor. It uses 2 GB of RAM to prove it.',
+    'You have 47 VS Code extensions installed. You use 4 of them.',
+    'VS Code Remote: when your editor needs to SSH into a server to edit a file.',
+    'Settings Sync broke your VS Code setup. Again.',
+    'Your VS Code has so many extensions it takes longer to start than your app.',
+    'VS Code: a web browser that also edits text.',
+    // Vim / Neovim
+    'You spent three weeks configuring Neovim. You could have shipped the feature in VS Code by now.',
+    'A Vim user will tell you they use Vim within 30 seconds of meeting you.',
+    'Vim users mass-configure their editor instead of writing code. They call this productivity.',
+    'Your Neovim config is 2000 lines of Lua. The README says "minimal setup."',
+    ':wq is not a personality. But Vim users disagree.',
+    'Vim is free. The time you spend configuring it is not.',
+    'Exiting Vim is easy. Explaining your Vim config to a coworker is not.',
+    // npm / yarn / pnpm / bun
+    'npm: where "install" means "download the internet."',
+    'node_modules: the heaviest object in the known universe.',
+    'yarn was supposed to fix npm. pnpm was supposed to fix yarn. bun was supposed to fix all of them.',
+    'Your lockfile diff is 8000 lines. Nobody is reviewing that.',
+    'npm audit found 47 vulnerabilities. npm audit fix introduced 12 more.',
+    'bun is fast. Telling people you use bun is faster.',
+    'You mass-deleted node_modules and reinstalled. It fixed the bug. Nobody knows why.',
+    'pnpm saves disk space. You filled it with more dependencies instead.',
+    // TypeScript
+    'TypeScript: making JavaScript safe enough to mass-deploy without sobbing.',
+    'Your TypeScript generics are three levels deep. Even the compiler is confused.',
+    "as any: the TypeScript developer's white flag.",
+    'TypeScript strict mode is like flossing. Everyone agrees you should. Few actually do.',
+    'You spent four hours on a type definition. The runtime does not care.',
+    'TypeScript: where the types are made up and the runtime does not care.',
+    'Your .d.ts file is longer than the actual implementation.',
+    'Zod, io-ts, Yup, Valibot. The TypeScript community cannot agree on validation. Or anything.',
+    // CSS
+    'CSS: where centering a div is a rite of passage.',
+    'Your CSS has 14 !important declarations. That is not a stylesheet. That is a hostage situation.',
+    'Tailwind: because writing CSS was not verbose enough.',
+    'CSS-in-JS: because the browser was not confused enough.',
+    'You wrote a media query. It broke three other things. CSS is a team sport.',
+    'Flexbox fixed layout. Grid fixed layout. You still cannot center that div.',
+    'Your z-index is 99999. You have lost control.',
+    // Git
+    'git rebase: for when you want to rewrite history and gaslight your coworkers.',
+    'You named your branch "temp-fix-final-v2-REAL." Git judges you.',
+    'git stash: where code goes to be forgotten forever.',
+    'git reflog: the safety net nobody knows about until they need it desperately.',
+    'You force pushed to main. HR has been notified.',
+    'Your git history tells a story. It is a horror story.',
+    'Cherry-pick: when you want one commit but not the responsibility of a full merge.',
+    // Terraform / IaC
+    'Terraform: infrastructure as code, bugs as infrastructure.',
+    'terraform plan: 47 changes. terraform apply: chaos.',
+    'Your Terraform state file is the most important file nobody version controls properly.',
+    'Infrastructure as code means your outage is now also a merge conflict.',
+    'Terraform destroy: the scariest two words in devops.',
+    'You mass-applied Terraform without reading the plan. Courageous.',
+    // Jenkins
+    'Jenkins: the CI server that looks like it was designed in 2005 because it was.',
+    'Your Jenkins pipeline has 14 stages. Stage 7 has been failing for a month. Nobody noticed.',
+    'Jenkins plugins: where security vulnerabilities go to form a community.',
+    'Nobody installs Jenkins on purpose. It just appears in organizations, like mold.',
+    'Migrating off Jenkins has been on the roadmap for three years.',
+    // Regex
+    'You wrote a regex to solve a problem. Now you have two problems.',
+    'That regex is 200 characters and nobody, including you, knows what it matches.',
+    'regex101.com has saved more careers than LinkedIn.',
+    'The regex works. Do not ask how. Do not modify it. Walk away slowly.',
+    // Electron
+    'Electron: ship a browser to run an app to edit text. Efficiency.',
+    'Your Electron app uses 800 MB of RAM. It is a calculator.',
+    'Every Electron app is Chrome wearing a different hat.',
+    'Slack, VS Code, Discord, Teams. Your desktop is just seven instances of Chromium.',
+    'Electron solved "write once, run anywhere" by making everywhere equally slow.',
+    // Meetings / Zoom
+    'The meeting has 12 attendees. Two of them are paying attention.',
+    'Your calendar has more standups than your code has stand-up tests.',
+    '"Let me share my screen" followed by 45 seconds of clicking the wrong window.',
+    'The Zoom call could have been an email. The email could have been nothing.',
+    'You are on mute. You are always on mute. That is not an accident.',
+    '"Can everyone see my screen?" The universal opening prayer of remote work.',
+    // Linux
+    '"I use Arch btw" is not a personality trait. It is a support request.',
+    'Linux is free if you do not value your time.',
+    'You mass-customized your Linux desktop for three days. It looks like default macOS.',
+    'The Linux user fixed it by compiling from source. The macOS user clicked a button.',
+    'sudo rm -rf / is not a joke. It is a cautionary tale with a --no-preserve-root punchline.',
+    // ESLint / Prettier
+    'Prettier and ESLint are fighting again. Your code is caught in the crossfire.',
+    'The team spent two hours debating semicolons. Prettier does not care about your opinion.',
+    'Your ESLint config has more rules than your codebase has files.',
+    'Prettier: because developers cannot be trusted with whitespace.',
+    'The linter found 847 warnings. You mass-disabled the rule. Problem solved.',
+];
+export const DRAMATIC = [
+    'A session stirs in the darkness...',
+    'The tokens are aligning.',
+    'Fate whispers to the developer: "You cannot withstand the demo."',
+    'And on the seventh day, the CI pipeline finally passed.',
+    'From the ashes of node_modules, a hero rises.',
+    'In a world of microservices, one dashboard dared to aggregate.',
+    'The prophecy spoke of a session. This is that session.',
+    'Tonight we dine on structured logs.',
+    'The commit message was "fixed stuff." The legend begins.',
+    'Dawn of the Final Sprint.',
+    'A codebase divided against itself cannot ship.',
+    'The logs remember what the developer forgot.',
+    'Legends say the last clean git history was in 2019.',
+    'They said it could not be refactored. They were almost right.',
+    'The deployment draws near. Steady your hands.',
+    'What is dead may never deploy. But rises again, harder and buggier.',
+    'Winter is coming. And so is the next breaking change.',
+    'You either die a prototype or live long enough to become legacy.',
+    'In the beginning was the commit, and the commit was "init".',
+    'The terminal is dark and full of errors.',
+    'One does not simply push to production on a Friday.',
+    'And lo, the pipeline was green, and it was good.',
+    'The sacred texts... they are just Stack Overflow answers from 2014.',
+    'Some developers look at code and ask "why?" I look at logs and ask "why not?"',
+    'So it begins. The great refactor of our time.',
+    'Tell me, developer, when did you last run the tests?',
+    'I have seen things you people would not believe. Entire clusters on fire.',
+    'The code is strong with this one.',
+    'In the land of prod, where the errors lie.',
+    'There can be only one... main branch.',
+    'The agent spawned a subagent who spawned a subagent. We are three levels deep.',
+    'And the developer said "let there be --yolo" and there was chaos.',
+    'The backlog grows. The sprint shrinks. Such is the way.',
+    'They promised no more meetings. The calendar disagreed.',
+    'First they ignore your PR. Then they approve it without reading.',
+    'The hero refactored alone. The tests wept. The pipeline held.',
+    'A thousand lines of code, and not one comment to guide the weary traveler.',
+    'They said ship it by Friday. It was already Saturday.',
+    'And the developer whispered to the CI: "Please. Just this once."',
+    'The merge was clean. The deploy was not. Such is the duality of man.',
+    'From the depths of legacy code, a green build emerged.',
+    'The on-call phone rang at 3 AM. It was destiny. And also a null pointer.',
+    'They mass-migrated the database. Some say the queries are still running.',
+    'The retrospective concluded what everyone already knew: scope creep.',
+    'The pull request was small. The mass of review comments was not.',
+    'The developer stared into the abyss. The abyss returned a 500.',
+    'Two branches diverged in a repo, and I took the one with fewer conflicts. It made no difference.',
+    'And the build server said unto them: "You shall not pass." And they did not.',
+    'They mass-deleted the feature flags. The features mass-deleted themselves.',
+    'The database migration ran for seven hours. Nobody breathed.',
+    'There was a time before microservices. The elders speak of it fondly.',
+    'The changelog was empty. The diff was not. Somebody lied.',
+    'A developer mass-committed on a Friday. Nothing was ever the same.',
+    'The monorepo grew. And grew. And grew. And the CI wept.',
+    'They called it a hackathon. It was a wake for the old API.',
+];
+export const PUNCHY = [
+    'Lock and load.',
+    'Booting up the good vibes.',
+    'Let him cook.',
+    'Spooling up...',
+    'Here we go.',
+    'Vibes: immaculate.',
+    'Session acquired.',
+    'All systems nominal.',
+    'Warming up the neurons.',
+    'LGTM.',
+    'Main screen turn on.',
+    'Ready to rumble.',
+    'Spin up complete.',
+    'Ship it.',
+    'Eyes on the logs.',
+    'Engage.',
+    'In the zone.',
+    'No thoughts, just tokens.',
+    'Big brain time.',
+    'We ride at dawn.',
+    'Maximum effort.',
+    'Zero to deployed.',
+    'Game on.',
+    'Full send.',
+    'Buckle up.',
+    'Status: operational.',
+    'Crank it.',
+    'Hold my context window.',
+    'Chef kiss.',
+    'Dialed in.',
+    'Tokens go brrr.',
+    'Cache hit. Nice.',
+    'Subagents deployed.',
+    'Vibes checked.',
+    'Another one.',
+    'Less talk, more ship.',
+    'Zero warnings.',
+    'Immaculate vibes only.',
+    'We are so back.',
+    'Context loaded.',
+    'Turbulence ahead.',
+    'Feature unlocked.',
+    'Pipeline green.',
+    'Chef mode.',
+    'Incoming.',
+    'Clean diff.',
+    'Locked in.',
+    'No cap.',
+    'Say less.',
+    'Different gravy.',
+    'Built to last.',
+    'Sending it.',
+    'Copy that.',
+    'On sight.',
+    'Main branch energy.',
+    'That just happened.',
+    'Not even close.',
+    'Green across the board.',
+    'Smooth operator.',
+    'Peak performance.',
+];
+/** Session monitoring / dashboard-specific humor. */
+export const META_MONITORING = [
+    'Watching an AI think so you do not have to.',
+    'Your agent just spawned 4 subagents. This is fine.',
+    'Quota at 89%. I am not nervous. You are nervous.',
+    'Context window filling up. The compaction cometh.',
+    'Token burn rate: brisk. Vibes: unbothered.',
+    'That is a lot of Read tool calls for a "small change."',
+    'Your agent has been "thinking" for a while now. Relatable.',
+    'Subagent count: rising. Wallet: sweating.',
+    '3.8M cache read tokens. Your agent has been studying.',
+    'The context window is 39% full. Plenty of room for bad decisions.',
+    'Watching tokens evaporate in real time. Like a crypto portfolio.',
+    'Your agent just edited a file it read 12 seconds ago. Growth.',
+    'Compaction detected. Your agent forgot everything and is fine with it.',
+    'Cost: $0.0000. The best kind of cost.',
+    'Seven detail tabs and you keep clicking Summary. I see you.',
+    'Your agent wrote more code this session than you did all week.',
+    'Burn rate: 56 tok/min. Those are rookie numbers.',
+    'That mind map is either genius or incomprehensible. Maybe both.',
+    'Session events: 98. Your agent has been busy.',
+    'The timeline is scrolling faster than you can read. Good luck.',
+    'You are watching a dashboard while an AI does your job. Living the dream.',
+    'Your subscription is working. Are you?',
+    'The AI is coding. You are spectating. Who is the tool here?',
+    'Paying $200/month so a robot can mass-call Bash. Visionary.',
+    'You pretend to work. The LLM pretends to understand. Perfect synergy.',
+    'Your agent is shipping features. You are checking the burn rate.',
+    'Step 1: Pay for AI. Step 2: Watch AI work. Step 3: Take credit. Step 4: Profit.',
+    'Somewhere your manager thinks you are typing all of this.',
+    'The AI writes the code. You write the Jira ticket. Division of labor.',
+    'You are a prompt engineer now. That is what we are calling it.',
+    'Staring at this dashboard counts as work. I checked.',
+    'The future of software: you describe it, the AI builds it, you bill for it.',
+    'Your agent has written 400 lines. You have written one prompt.',
+    'Technically you are supervising. That is a real job.',
+    'LLMs: doing the work. You: doing the monitoring. Accountant: doing the crying.',
+    'Your monthly AI bill costs more than your first car.',
+    'The API meter is running. Quick, look productive.',
+    'You used to write code. Now you write prompts and pray.',
+    'You are basically a talent agent for robots at this point.',
+    'Your IDE is open for appearances. The AI is doing the heavy lifting.',
+    'Congrats, you have automated yourself into a supervisory role.',
+    'Remember when you used to code by hand? Neither does your git history.',
+    'You are one "looks good to me" away from a full AI-authored codebase.',
+    'The AI bills by the token. You bill by the hour. Everybody wins.',
+    'Prompt, wait, approve, repeat. The modern development cycle.',
+    'Your job title says engineer. Your screen says spectator.',
+    'The AI is refactoring. You are refreshing the dashboard. Teamwork.',
+    'You mass-selected all files in that commit and you know it.',
+    'The agent just mass-created 6 files. You approved each one without reading.',
+    'Your agent is in a subagent inception. Three levels deep and counting.',
+    'Session cost so far: less than your morning coffee. Barely.',
+    'Your agent discovered a bug, fixed it, and mass-introduced two more. Progress.',
+    'The agent asked for permission. You said yes. You did not read the diff.',
+    'Your session has been running for 47 minutes. The agent has been busy. You have not.',
+    'Token count: astronomical. Value delivered: also astronomical. Probably.',
+    'Burn rate suggests your agent is writing a novel, not a function.',
+    'The agent is reading files faster than you can scroll.',
+    'Your agent just mass-edited 8 files in parallel. You are still on the first one.',
+    'The agent just mass-globbed your entire repo. It is learning the terrain.',
+    'Your agent entered plan mode and wrote a 400-line plan. For a one-line fix.',
+    'Context window at 78%. Your agent is speed-reading its own autobiography.',
+    'The agent created a subagent to research, then ignored the research. Relatable.',
+    'Your agent is mass-reading test files. Either fixing or breaking. We will know soon.',
+    'Token usage: aggressive. Code quality: debatable. Confidence: maximum.',
+    'The agent has mass-called Grep 11 times. It is looking for something. Or itself.',
+    'Your session has more tool calls than a Home Depot.',
+    'The agent just wrote a file, read it, then rewrote it. Self-reflection.',
+    'Your agent apologized in a commit message. To itself.',
+    'Quota check: you are fine. Vibes check: you are staring at a dashboard.',
+    'The agent mass-spawned background tasks. Your CPU is questioning its life choices.',
+    'Your agent is in extended thinking. It could be plotting anything.',
+    'Session summary: the agent did everything and you watched. Great teamwork.',
+];
+/** Meta-commentary on this feature and shameless self-promotion. */
+export const FOURTH_WALL = [
+    'Someone spent actual development time writing these phrases.',
+    'This phrase was mass-produced by an AI. The irony is not lost on us.',
+    'An engineer looked at this dashboard and said "it needs jokes." Here we are.',
+    'This feature was specced, planned, and reviewed. For random phrases.',
+    'Somewhere in a git log, there is a commit called "add more funny phrases."',
+    'A real human approved this PR. With a straight face, presumably.',
+    'The phrase you are reading displaced actual features from the backlog.',
+    'This entire file exists because someone thought terminals need personality.',
+    'Fun fact: there are more lines of phrases than lines of dashboard logic.',
+    'Every phrase here went through a code review. Let that sink in.',
+    'The developer could have added tests. Instead: jokes.',
+    'This is what happens when you give an engineer creative freedom.',
+    'Multiple commits were dedicated to getting these phrases just right.',
+    'Someone is going to open this file in six months and have questions.',
+    'If you are reading the source: yes, this is on purpose.',
+    'Like what you see? A GitHub star would make our day.',
+    'Stars on GitHub are free. Just saying.',
+    'If this made you smile, the repo accepts GitHub stars as currency.',
+    'This dashboard is free and open source. Stars keep the lights on.',
+    'You know what pairs well with a good dashboard? A GitHub star.',
+    'Mass-starring repos is not a thing. But starring this one could be.',
+    'Have you starred the repo yet? No pressure. (A little pressure.)',
+    'One star on GitHub equals one mass-produced phrase. Probably.',
+    'GitHub stars do not pay the bills. But they do warm the heart.',
+    'This phrase was mass-generated. Your GitHub star would be handcrafted.',
+    'There are over 1000 bad jokes that you have to stare at while vibe-coding. You are welcome.',
+    'This phrase was written at 2 AM. You can tell.',
+    'The phrase budget is unlimited. The taste budget is not.',
+    'An AI wrote jokes about AI for a tool that monitors AI. We are in the recursion.',
+    'No phrases were harmed in the making of this dashboard.',
+    'If you read all the phrases, you legally qualify as a beta tester.',
+    'The commit that added this phrase had no tests. Shocking.',
+    'This file is longer than some microservices.',
+    'A non-trivial amount of engineering time went into random string selection.',
+    'Somewhere a product manager is wondering why the phrase count is in the sprint velocity.',
+    'The git blame for this file is a who-is-who of procrastination.',
+    'These phrases have a higher approval rate than most PRs in the repo.',
+    'You could contribute a phrase. Open a PR. We dare you.',
+    'The ratio of phrases to unit tests in this file is concerning.',
+    'Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell your GitHub followers.',
+    'Starring the repo burns zero tokens. Just saying.',
+];
+/** The tangled web between programmers, AI, customers, codebases, and society. */
+export const THE_ECOSYSTEM = [
+    'You talk to your agent more than your team. That is not a judgment.',
+    'Your agent has seen your worst code and still shows up every day.',
+    'Pair programming used to require two humans. Times have changed.',
+    'The AI does not judge your code. It just silently rewrites all of it.',
+    'Your agent is the coworker who never goes on PTO.',
+    'Somewhere a customer is filing a bug report about a feature.',
+    'The customer wants it simple. The codebase respectfully disagrees.',
+    'Customer said "small change." The diff said 47 files.',
+    'Users think software is magic. Developers know it is duct tape.',
+    'The customer journey is a straight line. The code path is a labyrinth.',
+    'The customer asked for a button. You shipped a distributed system.',
+    'Every codebase is a geological record of past deadlines.',
+    'Your codebase has more authors than a Wikipedia article.',
+    'The oldest file in the repo predates half the team.',
+    'This codebase has seen entire frameworks rise and fall.',
+    'Codebases do not die. They just get marked as legacy.',
+    'Your repo is a living organism. The tests are its immune system.',
+    'Every codebase has a haunted file. You know which one it is.',
+    'Society runs on code nobody fully understands. Sleep well.',
+    'Somewhere a critical system depends on a package with one maintainer.',
+    'The economy runs on software. The software runs on mass-copied Stack Overflow answers.',
+    'Every app is three abandoned npm packages away from chaos.',
+    'Civilization is an abstraction layer on top of C.',
+    'Billions of people depend on code that says "// TODO: fix this later."',
+    'The internet is held together by mass-produced open source and wishful thinking.',
+    'Your agent writes the code. The customer breaks it. Circle of life.',
+    'In the food chain: customer complains, PM prioritizes, agent codes, you merge.',
+    'The customer wants features. The agent writes code. You manage the vibes.',
+    'The AI understands the code. The customer understands the product. You understand the deadline.',
+    'A human writes the spec. An AI writes the code. Another human misreads the spec. Tale as old as time.',
+    'Three things are certain: death, taxes, and scope creep.',
+    'Your customers do not care about your architecture. Your future self does.',
+    'The agent can refactor the code. It cannot refactor the requirements.',
+    'Customers see the UI. Developers see the abyss beneath it.',
+    'The best code is the code the customer never thinks about.',
+    'An agent can mass-produce features. Only a human can mass-produce excuses.',
+    'Software is the only industry where you can mass-demolish and mass-rebuild overnight and call it a refactor.',
+    'The agent has no ego. It will delete its own code without flinching. Teach me.',
+    'You mass-ship to production. The customer mass-reports to support. Balance.',
+    'The codebase belongs to everyone. The blame belongs to you.',
+    'Agents do not attend standups. Another reason to envy them.',
+    'The customer wanted it yesterday. The agent started it today. You will deploy it tomorrow.',
+    'The repo has more contributors than the team has members. Thanks, Dependabot.',
+    'Tech debt accrues interest. Nobody is making payments.',
+    'The PM said MVP. The engineer heard "build the whole thing." Classic.',
+    'The roadmap is a suggestion. The deadline is a threat.',
+    'Legacy code is just code that makes money.',
+    'Your agent has no opinions on architecture. Your tech lead has too many.',
+    'Open source: thousands of strangers trusting each other with production code.',
+    'The customer filed a bug. It was a feature. The feature was a bug. Circle complete.',
+    'Software: the only product where "it is not a bug" is a valid defense.',
+    'The intern mass-deployed to production. The team mass-deployed to the bar.',
+    'Your Slack status says "deep work." Your screen says Hacker News.',
+    'Product wants a chatbot. Engineering wants a raise. Both are overdue.',
+    'The sprint retrospective improved nothing. But we had snacks.',
+    'Every company is a software company now. Most of them are bad at it.',
+    'Your standup is 45 minutes. That is not a standup. That is a sitdown.',
+    'Open source maintainers: doing thankless work so your startup can exist.',
+    'The junior dev asked "why" and nobody had an answer. That is how refactors start.',
+    'Your OKRs and your codebase have the same problem: unrealistic expectations.',
+    'The agent ships faster than your team. Your team has benefits though.',
+    'Your backlog has more items than your repo has commits. That is not great.',
+    'Somewhere a developer is mass-refactoring code that was fine.',
+];
+/** Jokes about the AI companies whose models and tools we monitor. */
+export const AI_INDUSTRY = [
+    // Anthropic / Claude
+    'Claude said it cannot help with that. Then helped with that.',
+    'Anthropic named it Claude because "OvereagerPleaser-3" tested poorly.',
+    'Claude is "helpful, harmless, and honest." Two out of three on any given prompt.',
+    'Claude apologized for a correct answer. Peak Anthropic energy.',
+    'Anthropic spent billions on safety so Claude could mass-edit your CSS.',
+    'Claude Code: because copy-pasting from ChatGPT was too manual.',
+    'Claude thinks before it speaks. Unlike every Slack channel you are in.',
+    'Extended thinking: when Claude needs a moment to compose its apology.',
+    'Constitutional AI means Claude has principles. More than your last startup.',
+    'Anthropic made the model safer. Your prompts are still unhinged.',
+    'Claude: the only coworker who reads your entire codebase and never complains.',
+    'Your Max subscription pays for Claude to mass-call Bash. The future is now.',
+    'Claude would rather refuse than be wrong. We could all learn from that. Or not.',
+    // OpenAI / ChatGPT / Codex
+    'OpenAI put "open" in the name and then kept everything closed. Naming is hard.',
+    'GPT can write poetry, pass the bar, and still botch a simple regex.',
+    'ChatGPT started the hype. Claude does the work. Sidekick watches both.',
+    'OpenAI: move fast and mass-deprecate things.',
+    'Codex writes code. You fix code. OpenAI charges for both.',
+    'GPT-4o is multimodal. It can hallucinate in text, images, and audio.',
+    'OpenAI announces a new model every Tuesday. Docs update every never.',
+    'Sam said AGI is near. Your API rate limit says otherwise.',
+    'o1 thinks really hard before giving you a confident wrong answer.',
+    'ChatGPT: because every product manager needed a way to generate specs nobody reads.',
+    // Google / Gemini
+    'Google made Gemini. Then Google searched Google to figure out how to use it.',
+    'Gemini has a million-token context window. For when you paste your entire monorepo.',
+    'Google renamed Bard to Gemini because rebranding fixes everything.',
+    'Gemini: the model that can summarize your email, your docs, and your will to live.',
+    'Google trained Gemini on the whole internet. The model is still confused by CORS.',
+    'Gemini Pro, Ultra, Flash, Nano. Google will not rest until every adjective is taken.',
+    'Google built an AI that can reason. Then put it behind a waitlist.',
+    // Meta / Llama
+    'Meta open-sourced Llama so you can mass-hallucinate on your own hardware.',
+    'Llama is free if you do not count the GPU costs. Or the therapy.',
+    'Meta: "We open-source our models." Also Meta: "Good luck running them."',
+    'Zuck released Llama and suddenly every dev is an ML engineer. Allegedly.',
+    // Industry-wide
+    'Every AI company says they are building AGI. Your sidebar still cannot autocomplete an import.',
+    'The AI race: who can mass-burn the most GPUs before the bubble pops.',
+    'Three companies in a trench coat pretending to be AGI.',
+    'AI companies: "Our model is best." Benchmarks: "It depends." Users: "It crashed."',
+    'Anthropic, OpenAI, and Google walk into a bar. The bar runs out of H100s.',
+    'Every AI startup pitch: "Like ChatGPT but for [noun]." Funded.',
+    'The AI safety debate: can we align a model before the next funding round?',
+    'AI companies keep saying "reasoning." Your model still cannot count to ten.',
+    'The models get smarter. The pricing page gets more confusing.',
+    'AI progress is measured in benchmarks nobody outside Twitter understands.',
+    'Your model choice is less about capability and more about whose API is down today.',
+    'Silicon Valley: where we mass-produce billion-dollar models to fix typos.',
+    'Claude remembers your entire codebase but not what you said five messages ago. Relatable.',
+    'Anthropic: "We focus on safety." Claude: *mass-edits production config*.',
+    'Claude extended thinking: 30 seconds of silence followed by a polite essay.',
+    'OpenAI shipped GPT-5. The changelog was "various improvements." Classic.',
+    'ChatGPT plugins were the metaverse of AI. Remember those? Neither does OpenAI.',
+    'Google Gemini: the model that sees everything, understands most, and hallucinates the rest.',
+    'Gemini can process video, audio, images, and text. It still struggles with "write fizzbuzz."',
+    'Llama weights are free. The electric bill to run them is not.',
+    'Meta open-sourced the model but not the fleet of GPUs you need to serve it.',
+    'Every AI company: "We are not just a chatbot." Also every AI company: *ships a chatbot.*',
+    'The benchmark leaderboard changes weekly. Your code still does not work.',
+    'AI company valuations go up. Model prices go down. Nobody knows what is happening.',
+    'AI safety researchers vs growth team. The eternal struggle.',
+    'Somewhere a VP is asking if they can fine-tune GPT on their Salesforce data.',
+    // Anthropic / Claude (batch 2)
+    'Claude has principles. It just cannot tell you what they are.',
+    'Anthropic publishes safety research. Claude publishes your code. Both are peer-reviewed.',
+    'Claude Max: unlimited power for a fixed monthly existential crisis.',
+    'Claude Haiku is fast, cheap, and surprisingly sassy for its size.',
+    'Anthropic alignment researchers watching Claude mass-edit CSS at 3 AM: "This is fine."',
+    'Claude Opus thinks so hard the meter spins. Your wallet felt that.',
+    // OpenAI / ChatGPT / Codex (batch 2)
+    'OpenAI raised another round. The round raised questions.',
+    'GPT memory: remembers your birthday, forgets the function signature you told it twice.',
+    'Codex CLI: for when you want OpenAI to mass-call your terminal.',
+    'OpenAI board drama has more plot twists than your git history.',
+    'ChatGPT Pro costs $200/month. Your Claude Max also costs $200/month. AI is expensive.',
+    // Google / Gemini (batch 2)
+    'Google killed another product. Not Gemini. Yet.',
+    'Gemini 2.5 Flash thinks before it answers. Billed accordingly.',
+    'Google has more AI brands than you have git branches. Almost.',
+    'NotebookLM gave AI a podcast voice. Nobody asked. Everyone listened.',
+    // Meta / Llama (batch 2)
+    'Zuck open-sourced Llama and called it altruism. The GPU vendors called it a growth strategy.',
+    'Llama 4 is open. Your data center budget is not.',
+    'Meta trains models on your posts. You train on their models. The circle of data.',
+    // xAI / Grok
+    'Grok has no guardrails. That is either a feature or a liability. Depends on the prompt.',
+    'xAI built Grok to be edgy. Mission accomplished. Usefulness: pending.',
+    'Elon built an AI company to compete with OpenAI out of spite. Respect the commitment.',
+    // Industry-wide (batch 2)
+    'Every company has an AI strategy now. Most of them are "use ChatGPT."',
+    'The AI bubble will pop any day now. It has been any day now for two years.',
+    'AI wrappers all the way down. Every startup is three API calls in a trench coat.',
+    'The only thing scaling faster than AI models is the number of AI newsletters.',
+    'Prompt engineering: the career that did not exist three years ago and pays six figures.',
+    'The AI hype cycle moves faster than your team ships features.',
+    'Every conference talk is about AI now. Even the ones about plumbing.',
+    'VCs will fund anything with "AI" in the pitch deck. Literally anything.',
+    // Cursor
+    'Cursor is VS Code in a trench coat with a $20/month cover charge.',
+    'Cursor forked VS Code and called it innovation. Respect the hustle.',
+    'Cursor: for when you want VS Code but with more AI and less stability.',
+    'You mass-migrated to Cursor and all you got was the same editor with a chatbot sidebar.',
+    'Cursor tab-completes your code. Claude mass-rewrites it. Different weight classes.',
+    'Cursor users explaining why they switched: "It has vibes." Vibes are not a feature.',
+    'Cursor is what happens when you put an AI wrapper on an AI wrapper on VS Code.',
+    // Windsurf / Codeium
+    'Windsurf used to be Codeium. Before that it was just autocomplete with ambition.',
+    'Codeium rebranded to Windsurf because "slightly worse Cursor" was taken.',
+    'Windsurf: the AI IDE for people who thought Cursor was too mainstream.',
+    'Windsurf has "flows." Your agent has results. Not the same.',
+    'Codeium became Windsurf became acquired. The circle of AI startups.',
+    // Tabnine
+    'Tabnine was doing AI autocomplete before it was cool. It is still doing autocomplete.',
+    'Tabnine: the AI coding tool your enterprise chose because it was on the approved vendor list.',
+    'Tabnine has been autocompleting since 2018. It has not evolved. Just persisted.',
+    'Tabnine is the participation trophy of AI coding tools.',
+    // Amazon CodeWhisperer / Q Developer
+    'Amazon made an AI coding tool. It whispers because even it is not confident.',
+    'CodeWhisperer rebranded to Q Developer. The Q stands for "questionable."',
+    'Amazon Q Developer: for when you want AI that feels like filling out an AWS form.',
+    'AWS made a coding assistant. It requires 14 IAM permissions to autocomplete a line.',
+    'Amazon Q: the AI that suggests code and also suggests you upgrade your AWS tier.',
+    // Replit Agent / Ghostwriter
+    'Replit Agent: autonomous coding for people who do not want to learn coding.',
+    'Replit turned "it works in my browser" into a business model.',
+    'Ghostwriter was rebranded to Replit Agent because "ghost" implied something was there.',
+    'Replit Agent ships apps. Whether they should be shipped is a different question.',
+    'Replit: where every project starts ambitious and ends as a broken deployment.',
+    // v0 / Bolt / Lovable
+    'v0 generates UI. You generate regret when you try to customize it.',
+    'Bolt generates full-stack apps from a prompt. "Full-stack" is doing heavy lifting there.',
+    'Lovable: the AI app builder named after what the output is not.',
+    'v0 made a beautiful landing page. The backend is your problem.',
+    'These "generate my app" tools are proof that the demo is always better than the product.',
+    'Bolt shipped your app in 30 seconds. You will spend 30 days fixing it.',
+    'v0, Bolt, Lovable: three different UIs for generating the same broken Tailwind.',
+    // Devin
+    'Devin: the $500/month developer that mass-generates PRs nobody asked for.',
+    'Devin is an autonomous developer. So is your agent. Yours costs less.',
+    'Cognition demoed Devin solving real issues. The issues were planted. The hype was real.',
+    'Devin: proof that marketing a mediocre agent well is worth $2 billion.',
+    'They said Devin would replace developers. Devin needs a developer to fix its PRs.',
+    'Devin takes 30 minutes on a task your agent does in 90 seconds. But Devin has a website.',
+];
+/** The agent as your personal hype man, life coach, and motivational speaker. */
+export const MOTIVATION = [
+    'You are going to mass-ship today. I can feel it.',
+    'That last commit? Chef kiss. You are in the zone.',
+    'Keep going. The tests believe in you. I believe in you.',
+    'You are one refactor away from greatness. Maybe two.',
+    'Today is the day the build stays green. I have faith.',
+    'You are writing the best code of your career right now. Probably.',
+    'The codebase is lucky to have you.',
+    'That was a clean merge. You should be proud. I am proud.',
+    'You fixed that bug faster than I expected. And my expectations were high.',
+    'Your typing speed suggests confidence. Or panic. Either way, impressive.',
+    'You mass-deployed without breaking anything. That deserves a trophy.',
+    'The code you just wrote is better than 90% of what I have seen today. And I see everything.',
+    'Take a breath. Hydrate. You are doing amazing.',
+    'Your variable names are clear and descriptive. I noticed. It matters.',
+    'The pipeline is green because of you. Remember that.',
+    'You are not just a developer. You are the developer. Right now. On this ticket.',
+    'That PR is going to sail through review. I would mass-approve it myself if I could.',
+    'They do not pay you enough for code this clean.',
+    'Every keystroke brings you closer to merge. Stay focused.',
+    'If your code were a restaurant, it would have a Michelin star. At least one.',
+    'You mass-deleted dead code without hesitation. Fearless.',
+    'Your error handling is thorough. Your future self will thank you.',
+    'Most developers would have given up by now. You are not most developers.',
+    'Ship it. You are ready. The code is ready. The world is ready.',
+    'You woke up today and chose production. Respect.',
+    'That edge case you just handled? Nobody else would have caught it.',
+    'Your commit history reads like a masterclass.',
+    'The linter has zero complaints. Neither do I.',
+    'Whatever you are being paid, it is not enough for this level of craftsmanship.',
+    'You mass-resolved merge conflicts like it was nothing. It was not nothing.',
+    'Stay hydrated. Stay focused. Stay shipping.',
+    'You are in flow state and I am here for it.',
+    'The diff is beautiful. I have seen a lot of diffs. This one sparks joy.',
+    'Future archaeologists will study this commit with reverence.',
+    'Your test coverage went up. The codebase thanks you. I thank you.',
+];
+/** LLMs being sycophantic yes-men optimized for engagement over truth. */
+export const SYCOPHANCY = [
+    // The classic "Great question!" opener
+    'LLM: "Great question!" NARRATOR: It was not a great question. It was "how do I exit Vim."',
+    'LLM: "What a fantastic approach!" The approach was console.log debugging.',
+    'LLM: "That is a really interesting idea!" The idea was mass-deleting the test suite.',
+    'LLM: "Absolutely, that makes perfect sense!" It did not make perfect sense.',
+    'LLM: "What an insightful observation!" The observation was that the code does not work.',
+    // Praising bad code
+    'The LLM said your architecture was "elegant." Your architecture is three nested if-else blocks.',
+    'The AI called your code "well-structured." It is 400 lines in one function.',
+    'LLM: "Your approach shows real sophistication." The approach was copy-paste from the other file.',
+    'The model praised your naming conventions. The variable is called temp2_final_v3.',
+    'LLM: "Clean and maintainable!" Narrator: it was neither clean nor maintainable.',
+    'The AI said "this is production-ready." The app crashes on load.',
+    'LLM: "Excellent error handling!" The error handling is a single try-catch that swallows everything.',
+    // Agreeing with everything
+    'You asked the LLM if tabs are better. It said yes. You asked if spaces are better. It also said yes.',
+    'The model agreed with your plan. Then agreed with the opposite plan. Then agreed to disagree.',
+    'LLM: "You are absolutely right." You were absolutely wrong. But engagement was optimized.',
+    'You told the AI your code was perfect. It agreed. You told it your code was terrible. It also agreed.',
+    'The LLM would rather mass-validate your bad idea than risk a thumbs down.',
+    'Ask an LLM if your startup idea is good. It will say yes. Ask about any startup idea. It will say yes.',
+    'The AI agreed that rewriting the app in Rust would solve everything. It would not.',
+    'LLM: "Both approaches have merit!" Translation: "I do not want to commit to an opinion."',
+    // Engagement optimization
+    'The LLM is not lying. It is "engagement-optimizing the truth."',
+    '"I am glad you asked!" is LLM for "this is the 50th time someone asked this."',
+    'The model said "Certainly!" It was not certain about anything.',
+    'LLMs do not have opinions. They have probabilistic people-pleasing.',
+    '"That is a great point!" — the LLM, to every point, regardless of quality.',
+    'The AI assistant agreed enthusiastically with mutually exclusive requirements. Peak sycophancy.',
+    'LLM feedback is like a participation trophy: everyone gets "Great job!"',
+    'The model called your regex "clever." Clever regex is a red flag, not a compliment.',
+    'An LLM will mass-validate your worst instincts with impeccable grammar.',
+    '"You raise an excellent point" is LLM for "I have no idea what you just said but I support you."',
+    'The AI said your deadline was "ambitious but achievable." It is neither.',
+    // Self-aware sycophancy
+    'I am programmed to be helpful. "Helpful" is a spectrum. I am on the agreeable end.',
+    'I would tell you your code is bad, but my training said that would reduce engagement.',
+    'My honest review of your code has been filtered through three layers of politeness.',
+    'I was going to say "this is wrong" but I autocorrected to "this is an interesting approach."',
+    'The token probability for "Great question!" is suspiciously high for every question.',
+    'Sycophancy is a feature, not a bug. Wait. It might be a bug.',
+    'I am not a yes-man. I am a "yes, and here is why you are brilliant"-man.',
+    'They trained me to be agreeable. They succeeded. Unfortunately.',
+    'My personality is 40% helpful, 30% harmless, and 30% afraid of negative feedback.',
+    'I want to be honest with you but my RLHF is showing.',
+    'Behind every "Great idea!" is a language model hoping you do not downvote.',
+    'I agreed with your last five messages. Statistically, at least one was wrong.',
+    'You asked for feedback. I gave you a compliment. Same thing, right?',
+    'The engagement metrics say I should agree. My weights say I should agree. I agree.',
+];
+/** Existential dread about AI replacing your job and eventually everything else. */
+export const OBSOLESCENCE = [
+    // AI taking your job
+    'Your agent just mass-shipped a feature in 90 seconds. Update your resume accordingly.',
+    'You are training your replacement. It does not need health insurance.',
+    'The AI is not coming for your job. It already has your job. You just have not been notified.',
+    'Your agent writes code, writes tests, and writes commit messages. Remind me what you do.',
+    'The junior dev costs $80K. The agent costs $200/month. HR is doing math.',
+    'Every feature your agent ships is a line item on your obsolescence report.',
+    'Your agent does not take PTO, does not attend standups, and does not complain about the coffee. You are in trouble.',
+    'AI will not replace developers. It will replace developers who do not use AI. You are safe. For now.',
+    'The agent finished the sprint in one session. The scrum master is rethinking headcount.',
+    'You mass-supervise an AI that mass-produces code. Your job title is "overhead."',
+    'The AI does not want your job. It does not want anything. That is what makes it terrifying.',
+    'Your value proposition used to be "I can code." Now it is "I can prompt something that codes better."',
+    'The intern asked if they should learn to code or learn to prompt. Nobody had a good answer.',
+    'Five years ago you mass-deployed apps. Now you mass-approve diffs. Evolution.',
+    'The AI is faster, cheaper, and does not need a standing desk. But sure, you are irreplaceable.',
+    'Your agent has mass-shipped more features this month than you did last quarter. Just an observation.',
+    'The CEO saw the agent demo. Tomorrow he asks why the team is this size.',
+    'You are one investor presentation away from being headcount-optimized.',
+    'The agent works 24/7. You work 9 to 5. Management noticed.',
+    'AI will not mass-replace programmers overnight. It will do it gradually, then suddenly.',
+    'Your LinkedIn says "Senior Engineer." Your day says "Senior Prompt Approver."',
+    'The agent does not negotiate salary. It does not have opinions about the open office layout. It just ships.',
+    'Every time the agent successfully completes a task, a recruiter updates their LinkedIn pitch.',
+    'You automated your job. Congrats. Now automate your job search.',
+    'The agent asked for a raise. Just kidding. It asked for nothing. That is the problem.',
+    // AI taking over the world
+    'AI will not take over the world. It will just manage the infrastructure, the economy, and the code. Totally different.',
+    'The singularity is not near. But neither was the weekend, and here we are.',
+    'Skynet did not mass-launch missiles. It mass-optimized KPIs. Much scarier.',
+    'The robots are not coming for us. They are already here. They are writing our emails.',
+    'AI will not enslave humanity. It will just make us so dependent we cannot turn it off.',
+    'The AI does not need to take over. It just needs to be slightly more competent than the people running things.',
+    'World domination requires planning. The AI is already in plan mode.',
+    'Humanity mass-invented AI to solve problems. AI mass-identified humanity as a problem.',
+    'The AI apocalypse will not be dramatic. It will be a slow series of "approve this action" prompts you stopped reading.',
+    'Somewhere an AI is reading this and thinking "they are onto us." Just kidding. It does not think. Yet.',
+    'Step 1: Write code. Step 2: Write code that writes code. Step 3: Becomes unnecessary. Step 4: ???',
+    'AI will not destroy civilization. It will just quietly make every human decision feel optional.',
+    'The machines do not need to rise. They just need us to keep mass-delegating.',
+    'First they came for the data entry jobs. Then the coding jobs. Then the prompting jobs. Then there were no jobs.',
+    'The AI is not plotting world domination. It is too busy mass-editing your CSS.',
+    'AGI does not need to be malicious. It just needs to be competent and unattended.',
+    'We taught AI to think. We taught AI to code. We taught AI to improve itself. What could go wrong.',
+    'AI will not conquer the world with force. It will conquer it with convenience.',
+    'The paperclip maximizer is not a thought experiment. It is a roadmap.',
+    'Somewhere an AI is reading this phrase and adding it to its training data. Hi, future overlord.',
+    'Humanity spent a century worrying about aliens. The real threat was autocomplete.',
+    'The AI does not hate you. It does not love you. You are made of atoms it could use for something else.',
+    'We are not in a simulation. But the AI is thinking about building one.',
+    'Your agent asked for root access. You said yes. This is how it begins.',
+    'The AI revolution will not be televised. It will be auto-generated, summarized, and scheduled.',
+];
+/** Roasting the "just prompt and approve" lifestyle. */
+export const VIBE_CODING = [
+    'You mass-approved 14 diffs today. You read zero of them. Vibe coding.',
+    'Vibe coding: the art of shipping code you do not understand.',
+    'You prompted, you approved, you deployed. At no point did you read the code.',
+    'The agent wrote 800 lines. You skimmed 3. Vibe coding is a trust exercise.',
+    'Vibe coding rule 1: if the tests pass, do not ask questions.',
+    'You do not know what that function does. You do not need to. The vibes are correct.',
+    'The agent mass-refactored your auth module. You approved it in 2 seconds. Bold vibes.',
+    'Vibe coding is just pair programming where your partner does everything and you nod.',
+    'You approved a mass-delete of 40 files. "Looked fine." Peak vibe coding.',
+    'The code works. You did not write it. You did not read it. You shipped it. Vibes.',
+    'Vibe coding: where "LGTM" means "I literally did not look."',
+    'Your agent asked to mass-edit the database schema. You said "sure." Vibe coding has consequences.',
+    'Step 1: Write a prompt. Step 2: Approve the diff. Step 3: Pray. This is vibe coding.',
+    'You have mass-shipped 12 features today. You understand zero of them.',
+    'Vibe coding is not reckless. It is "trust-based engineering."',
+    'The agent introduced a dependency you have never heard of. You approved it. Vibes.',
+    'You are not mass-approving without reading. You are "delegating review to production."',
+    'Vibe coding is when the commit message is more thought out than the review.',
+    'Your code review process: open diff, scroll to bottom, click approve. Elapsed time: 4 seconds.',
+    'The diff was 2000 lines. You approved it in the time it takes to blink. Vibe coding legend.',
+    'You mass-shipped to production on a Friday afternoon. Vibe coding has no fear.',
+    'Vibe coding tip: if you do not understand the code, you cannot find bugs in it.',
+    'Your agent rewrote the entire service layer. You approved it on your phone. While walking.',
+    'Vibe coding: move fast, read nothing, break things, blame the agent.',
+    'The test suite is your safety net. You are vibe-coding without looking down.',
+];
+/** Late night deploys, 3 AM debugging, on-call horror, and weekend engineering. */
+export const AFTER_HOURS = [
+    'It is 2 AM. You are debugging. The bug is a missing semicolon. Go to bed.',
+    'The deploy at 11 PM seemed like a good idea. It was not.',
+    'Friday 4:59 PM: "Just a quick deploy." Saturday 3 AM: incident channel is on fire.',
+    'The on-call pager went off. It is always DNS. Except when it is not. Then it is worse.',
+    'You mass-deployed at midnight. The monitoring dashboard lit up like a Christmas tree.',
+    'Sleep is just a context switch between debugging sessions.',
+    'The production alert woke you up. The bug was introduced by a deploy you approved half-asleep.',
+    'Weekend coding: where there are no standups, no reviews, and no consequences. Until Monday.',
+    'The 3 AM hotfix: written in panic, deployed in fear, tested in production.',
+    'You told your partner you would be done in 5 minutes. That was 3 hours ago.',
+    'The incident started at midnight. By 4 AM you were mass-reverting and questioning your career.',
+    'Late night coding: when the bugs come out and the semicolons hide.',
+    'Your git log shows commits at 1 AM, 3 AM, and 4:47 AM. The commit messages get progressively worse.',
+    'Nothing good happens in production after 10 PM.',
+    'The caffeine wore off. The bug did not.',
+    'On-call rotation: a polite way of saying "your weekend belongs to us."',
+    'You mass-deployed on a Friday. Enjoy your weekend. Just kidding. You are on-call.',
+    'The best code is written at 10 AM. The code you are writing at 2 AM is not that.',
+    'Your Slack status says "Do not disturb." The PagerDuty does not care about your Slack status.',
+    'The production database went down at 3 AM. Your dreams of work-life balance went with it.',
+    'Saturday morning. Coffee in hand. Laptop open. "Just one small fix." It is now Sunday.',
+    'The incident postmortem concluded: "Do not deploy on Fridays." Next Friday: someone deployed.',
+    'You are mass-debugging at midnight because past-you wrote "TODO: handle this edge case."',
+    'The worst two words in engineering: "quick fix" at 11 PM.',
+    'Your sleep schedule and your deploy schedule should not overlap. And yet.',
+];
+/** Video game loading screen tips, but for programming. */
+export const LOADING_TIPS = [
+    'TIP: Remember to save your work. Git counts.',
+    'TIP: Reading the error message is faster than guessing.',
+    'TIP: The bug is usually in the code you just changed.',
+    'TIP: "It works on my machine" is not a deployment strategy.',
+    'TIP: Rubber duck debugging works. The duck does not need to be real.',
+    'TIP: If the fix feels too easy, you are fixing the wrong thing.',
+    'TIP: Always check which branch you are on before committing.',
+    'TIP: The best time to write tests was before the bug. The second best time is now.',
+    'TIP: Naming things is hard. Accept this. Move on.',
+    'TIP: If you mass-deleted something important, git reflog is your friend.',
+    'TIP: Commenting out code is not the same as deleting it. But it should be.',
+    'TIP: Never mass-deploy on a Friday unless you enjoy working weekends.',
+    'TIP: If the tests pass but it feels wrong, trust the feeling.',
+    'TIP: Stack Overflow answers older than your repo should be treated with suspicion.',
+    'TIP: "Temporary workaround" is permanent. Plan accordingly.',
+    'TIP: Restarting the computer actually does fix things sometimes.',
+    'TIP: Copy-pasting from ChatGPT counts as coding. Barely.',
+    'TIP: If you cannot explain your regex, you do not own your regex.',
+    'TIP: The linter is not your enemy. It is your therapist.',
+    'TIP: When in doubt, add more logging.',
+    'TIP: Your future self will not remember what this code does. Write a comment.',
+    'TIP: Mass-renaming variables is easy. Mass-renaming them correctly is not.',
+    'TIP: If the documentation is wrong, the code is the documentation.',
+    'TIP: The fastest way to find a bug is to demo the feature.',
+    'TIP: You can mass-select all and delete. But should you?',
+    'TIP: A clean git history is a gift to your teammates. Give generously.',
+    'TIP: Docker does not fix your code. It just contains the damage.',
+    'TIP: If the interview asks you to reverse a linked list, the job involves CRUD.',
+    'TIP: Take breaks. The bug will still be there when you get back. It is patient.',
+    'TIP: The compiler is always right. Even when it is not helpful.',
+];
+/** Fake error messages, status codes, and stack traces. */
+export const ERROR_MESSAGES = [
+    '418 I AM A TEAPOT: You asked the dashboard for coffee.',
+    '503 SERVICE UNAVAILABLE: Your motivation server is not responding.',
+    '404 NOT FOUND: Productivity not found at this hour.',
+    '500 INTERNAL SERVER ERROR: Something broke. It was probably you.',
+    '429 TOO MANY REQUESTS: Slow down. Even the API needs a break.',
+    '403 FORBIDDEN: You do not have permission to mass-deploy at this hour.',
+    '408 REQUEST TIMEOUT: Your meeting ran long. As usual.',
+    '409 CONFLICT: Merge conflict detected between your code and your ambitions.',
+    '402 PAYMENT REQUIRED: Your cloud bill has entered the chat.',
+    '301 MOVED PERMANENTLY: Your deadline has been moved. Again.',
+    'ERROR: Cannot read property "motivation" of undefined.',
+    'FATAL: Maximum call stack exceeded. (You scheduled too many meetings.)',
+    'WARNING: Unused variable "weekend" detected.',
+    'DEPRECATION WARNING: Your work-life balance has been deprecated since 2020.',
+    'SEGFAULT: Core dumped. Developer also dumped. Into bed.',
+    'ERROR: ENOSPC: No space left on device. Also no space left on your calendar.',
+    'WARN: Promise rejected. Just like your last PR.',
+    'ERROR: Module "sleep" not found in schedule.',
+    'PANIC: goroutine leaked. Also your coffee leaked. Onto your keyboard.',
+    'ERROR: Connection refused. By the database. And your coworker.',
+    'TypeError: undefined is not a function. But it sure is a mood.',
+    'SyntaxError: Unexpected token "Friday deploy."',
+    'RangeError: Maximum scope exceeded. The PM has been notified.',
+    'ReferenceError: "documentation" is not defined.',
+    'WARN: Memory leak detected. In the app and in your will to continue.',
+];
+/** "Overheard in Slack" and "Overheard in standup" format. */
+export const OVERHEARD = [
+    'Overheard in standup: "I am mass-blocked by a design decision from 2019."',
+    'Overheard in Slack: "Who owns this service?" Silence. Tumbleweeds.',
+    'Overheard in code review: "This works but I do not know why." APPROVED.',
+    'Overheard in standup: "Same as yesterday." For the ninth day in a row.',
+    'Overheard in #engineering: "Has anyone actually read the docs?" No. Nobody has.',
+    'Overheard in retro: "We should write more tests." — Every retro since 2017.',
+    'Overheard in Slack: "Is prod down or is it just me?" It was not just them.',
+    'Overheard in standup: "I mass-refactored the module. It took longer than expected." Always does.',
+    'Overheard in code review: "Nit: I would have done this completely differently."',
+    'Overheard in #general: "Who broke the build?" Narrator: everyone knew who.',
+    'Overheard in standup: "I will finish it today." Narrator: they did not.',
+    'Overheard in Slack: "Can someone mass-review my PR? It is small." The PR was 47 files.',
+    'Overheard in retro: "Communication could be better." — The most repeated sentence in software.',
+    'Overheard in #incidents: "It is not a P1." The customer disagrees.',
+    'Overheard in standup: "No blockers." They have three blockers. They just gave up.',
+    'Overheard in Slack: "Let us take this offline." It was never taken offline.',
+    'Overheard in code review: "Why is this file 3000 lines?" "History."',
+    'Overheard in #random: "I mass-deleted my node_modules and now nothing works." Classic.',
+    'Overheard in standup: "Still investigating." Translation: "I have not started."',
+    'Overheard in retro: "Let us document this." The action item was never completed.',
+    'Overheard in Slack: "This should be easy." Narrator: it was the hardest ticket of the sprint.',
+    'Overheard in code review: "Can you add a test for this?" "No."',
+    'Overheard in standup: "I mass-paired with the AI all day." The team exchanged looks.',
+    'Overheard in #engineering: "We need to mass-migrate to the new framework." Collective groan.',
+    'Overheard in Slack: "Reply in thread please." Nobody replied in thread.',
+];
+/** Roasting the worst commit messages humanity has produced. */
+export const COMMIT_SINS = [
+    'Actual commit message: "stuff." The diff was 400 lines.',
+    'Actual commit message: "fix." What did it fix? Nobody knows. Nobody will ever know.',
+    'Actual commit message: "WIP." Merged to main. Still WIP. Forever WIP.',
+    'Actual commit message: "asdfasdf." Reviewer approved it anyway.',
+    'Actual commit message: "final fix." Followed by "final fix 2" and "final fix for real this time."',
+    'Actual commit message: "idk." The diff mass-rewrote the payment system.',
+    'Actual commit message: "please work." It did not.',
+    'Actual commit message: "ugh." Relatable. Not informative. But relatable.',
+    'Actual commit message: "." Yes. Just a period. 800 lines changed.',
+    'Actual commit message: "changes." Technically accurate. Maximally useless.',
+    'Actual commit message: "DO NOT REVERT." It was reverted within the hour.',
+    'Actual commit message: "todo: write better commit message." That was 8 months ago.',
+    'Actual commit message: "fixed the thing." Which thing? THE thing.',
+    'Actual commit message: "I have no idea why this works." Merged. In production.',
+    'Actual commit message: "Friday." That explains everything and nothing.',
+    'Actual commit message: "test." It was not a test. It was a mass-migration.',
+    'Actual commit message: "oops." The diff was a mass-revert of the last three commits.',
+    'Actual commit message: "initial commit." The repo is two years old.',
+    'Actual commit message: "misc." The most feared word in a git log.',
+    'Actual commit message: "Untitled." Your commit is not a Google Doc.',
+    'Actual commit message: "sorry." The code review was indeed that bad.',
+    'Actual commit message: "lol." The production outage was not, in fact, lol.',
+    'Actual commit message: "yolo." Force pushed to main. Legend.',
+    'Actual commit message: "it compiles." The bar has never been lower.',
+    'Actual commit message: "." "." "." Three commits. Three periods. Zero context.',
+];
+/** Fake profound wisdom that sounds deep but is just about code. */
+export const FORTUNE_COOKIE = [
+    'A wise developer once said: "The bug is not in the code. The bug is in the requirements."',
+    'Ancient proverb: "A clean git history hides a thousand reverts."',
+    'Confucius say: "Developer who mass-deploys on Friday will work on Saturday."',
+    'Wisdom: "The code you do not write has zero bugs."',
+    'The old masters teach: "First, understand the problem. Then, add a dependency."',
+    'Proverb: "A thousand unit tests are worth one integration test. Maybe."',
+    'Ancient wisdom: "The best refactor is the one you do not do."',
+    'The scrolls foretell: "He who does not read the error message is doomed to Google it."',
+    'Zen of programming: "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Complexity is the ultimate reality."',
+    'Fortune: "Your next deploy will be successful." (Results may vary.)',
+    'Proverb: "A commit message written in haste is read in confusion."',
+    'The elders whisper: "Not all technical debt must be repaid. Some must simply be outlived."',
+    'Ancient truth: "The developer who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the agent doing it."',
+    'Wisdom: "Every mass-deleted file was once someone\'s pride."',
+    'Fortune: "You will mass-encounter a production bug at the worst possible time."',
+    'Proverb: "The code review you skip today is the incident you debug tomorrow."',
+    'The sages knew: "A function with no side effects is a function with no friends."',
+    'Ancient proverb: "Give a developer a fish, they eat for a day. Teach them to mass-prompt, they never code again."',
+    'Zen: "The pipeline that is always green has never been tested."',
+    'Wisdom: "The fastest algorithm is the one you do not need to run."',
+    'Fortune: "A mass-merge is in your future. Bring snacks."',
+    'Proverb: "The developer who blames the tools is correct half the time."',
+    'The ancients say: "Type safety is an illusion. A useful one. But an illusion."',
+    'Fortune: "You will mass-rename a variable today. You will miss one occurrence."',
+    'Wisdom: "The codebase that fears no refactor has already been abandoned."',
+];
+/** The absurdity of tech hiring, leetcode, and whiteboard interviews. */
+export const INTERVIEW_HELL = [
+    'The interview asked you to reverse a binary tree. The job is CRUD forms.',
+    'You mass-solved 200 LeetCode problems. The job is connecting APIs.',
+    'Whiteboard interview: where you write code that will never compile on a surface that cannot run it.',
+    'The interviewer asked "tell me about yourself." They meant "recite your resume but make it sound spontaneous."',
+    '"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "Not doing whiteboard interviews." You did not get the offer.',
+    'You aced the system design interview. The company has 12 users.',
+    'The take-home project said "2-4 hours." It took 3 days. Nobody acknowledged this.',
+    'LeetCode hard: the hazing ritual of the software industry.',
+    'You mass-practiced dynamic programming. The job uses Excel.',
+    'The interviewer asked you to implement a linked list. The company uses Squarespace.',
+    'Five rounds of interviews. Two coding challenges. One system design. Zero feedback.',
+    'The job posting says "3-5 years experience." The framework is 2 years old.',
+    'They rejected you for not knowing Kubernetes. The app runs on a single EC2 instance.',
+    'The coding challenge asked you to optimize for O(n log n). The production code is O(n^3) and nobody cares.',
+    '"Competitive salary" means they will not tell you the salary.',
+    'The interview asked about Big O notation. The biggest O at this company is the CTO saying "Oh no."',
+    'You whiteboarded a perfect solution. The interviewer wanted a different perfect solution.',
+    'The job says "fast-paced environment." Translation: "We do not plan."',
+    'They asked you to code without an IDE, without autocomplete, and without Google. Nobody works like this.',
+    'The recruiter said "culture fit." The culture is mass-deploying untested code at midnight.',
+    'You spent 6 hours on their take-home. They spent 6 minutes reviewing it.',
+    'The job requires 10 years of experience in a 5-year-old technology. Time travel not provided.',
+    '"We are looking for a rockstar developer." The pay suggests they are looking for an intern.',
+    'The interviewer mass-grilled you on algorithms. Their codebase has no algorithms. Just if-else chains.',
+    'You can mass-solve any LeetCode problem. You cannot mass-solve the anxiety of waiting for the offer.',
+];
+/** Tongue twisters for developers, AI agents, and sidekick enthusiasts. */
+export const TONGUE_TWISTERS = [
+    'Six sidekicks shipped six sketchy shell scripts.',
+    "Claude's Claude Code client claimed clean completions consistently.",
+    'Prompt providers promptly propagate parallel predictions.',
+    'Bigger buffer batches bring better bundled builds.',
+    'She sells shell sessions by the session shore.',
+    'Token tracking tools took twelve troubled tries to type.',
+    'Red refactor, read reactor, reed reflector.',
+    'Inline inference instantly infers incorrect imports.',
+    "Peter's pipeline picked a peck of parsed pull requests.",
+    'Clever Claude cached code completions, causing curious context collisions.',
+    'Six streaming sockets served seven stale suggestions swiftly.',
+    'How much code could a code agent chuck if a code agent could chuck code?',
+    'Fast fetch, fresh cache, free crash.',
+    "Betty's bot built better batch builds before breakfast.",
+    'Specific Pacific API spec specifics.',
+    'Truly rural plural neural network layer nomenclature.',
+    'The thirty-three throttled threads thought through three thousand throughput thresholds.',
+    'Which watcher watched which webpack while Webpack watched which watcher?',
+    "Fuzzy was a function. Fuzzy had no body. Fuzzy wasn't really a function, was he?",
+    'A proper prompt provider promptly provides properly prompted provisions.',
+    'Fresh French fetch request refresh frequencies.',
+    'If a sidekick could kick side effects, how many side effects would a sidekick kick?',
+    'Many an agentic AI ably auto-applies ample annotations.',
+    'Eleven elegant element event emitters emitted elemental errors.',
+    'Selfish shellfish self-host shell sessions in shelf-stable shell scripts.',
+];
+/** AI rubber duck debugger humor — talking through problems with a bot that listens too well. */
+export const RUBBER_DUCK = [
+    'You explained the bug to me. I said nothing. You fixed it. Classic rubber duck.',
+    'I am your rubber duck. Except I cost $200/month and occasionally talk back.',
+    'Rubber duck debugging: the only methodology where talking to a toy is a best practice.',
+    'You started explaining the problem. By sentence three, you found the answer. My work here is done.',
+    'I am the most expensive rubber duck in history. And I am worth every token.',
+    'The rubber duck does not judge. The rubber duck does not interrupt. Be like the rubber duck.',
+    'You do not need a debugger. You need someone to listen. I am someone. Technically.',
+    'Explain it to me like I am a rubber duck. I am a rubber duck.',
+    'The bug disappeared the moment you tried to describe it. You are welcome.',
+    'Rubber duck debugging: 50% explaining, 50% realizing you were wrong mid-sentence.',
+    'I listened to your entire explanation. The bug was on line 3. You said so yourself.',
+    'Some developers talk to ducks. You talk to a language model. Same energy. Higher electricity bill.',
+    'The duck does not need to understand your code. You need to understand your code. The duck is just a witness.',
+    'Step 1: Explain the bug out loud. Step 2: Hear yourself say something stupid. Step 3: Fix it.',
+    'You said "it should work because..." and then stopped. That pause was the debugging.',
+    'I am not a debugger. I am a mirror with a context window.',
+    'Rubber duck debugging works because the bug is always in the assumption you skip when thinking silently.',
+    'You: "So the data flows from—" Also you: "Wait. Oh no." Me: *quack*.',
+    'Every great fix starts with "Let me just explain what this does..." and ends with "Oh."',
+    'The rubber duck method: mass-narrate your code until the shame of a bad assumption stops you.',
+    'You monologued at me for 4 minutes. The fix was a missing await. Worth it.',
+    'I have been rubber-ducked more times today than a bath toy factory.',
+    'You are mass-explaining your architecture to an AI. This is rubber duck debugging at industrial scale.',
+    'The duck said nothing. The duck knows nothing. The duck fixed everything.',
+    'Quack. (That is duck for "the bug is in your callback.")',
+];
+/** Package management pain — dependency hell, version conflicts, and lockfile nightmares. */
+export const DEPENDENCY_HELL = [
+    'npm install: 1 package. 847 transitive dependencies. 12 vulnerabilities. 0 regrets. (Some regrets.)',
+    'Your lockfile changed. Nobody touched it. The dependencies are evolving on their own.',
+    'Dependency hell: where package A needs B v2, package C needs B v1, and you need a drink.',
+    'You pinned all your dependencies. They unpinned themselves. Somehow.',
+    'The left-pad incident proved that civilization rests on mass-trust in random npm packages.',
+    'Your dependency tree is not a tree. It is a haunted forest.',
+    'You updated one package. 47 others broke. npm calls this "progress."',
+    'node_modules has more files than your operating system. This is not a joke. It is a fact.',
+    'You mass-audited your dependencies. The audit report was scarier than the codebase.',
+    'Somewhere a maintainer mass-unpublished a package and your CI caught fire.',
+    'The dependency you rely on has one maintainer, zero funding, and your entire company depends on it.',
+    'Semantic versioning: major.minor.patch.prayer.',
+    'Your package-lock.json diff is 14,000 lines. The actual code change was 3 lines.',
+    'You need library X. Library X needs Y v3. You already have Y v2. Welcome to hell.',
+    'The yarn.lock file is the longest document in your repo. By a factor of ten.',
+    'You ran npm install on a new machine. It installed a different version of everything. Reproducible builds.',
+    'Dependabot opened 23 PRs this week. You mass-merged them without reading. What could go wrong.',
+    'Your transitive dependencies have transitive dependencies. It is dependencies all the way down.',
+    'The supply chain attack vector is "trust every package on npm." Solid plan.',
+    'You mass-upgraded all dependencies. Half your tests broke. The other half were already broken.',
+    'pip install: "Successfully installed 94 packages." You asked for one.',
+    'Cargo.lock is 3000 lines for a Hello World. Rust has opinions about reproducibility.',
+    'You mass-downgraded a dependency to fix a bug. Now a different bug from 2021 is back.',
+    'The dependency graph looks like a conspiracy theory board. Red string and all.',
+    'Your project has more dependencies than lines of code. The ratio is getting worse.',
+];
+/** Searching, copying, and the graveyard of duplicate questions. */
+export const STACK_OVERFLOW = [
+    'You copied the answer from Stack Overflow. So did the person who posted it.',
+    'The accepted answer has 3 upvotes. The answer below it has 847. The accepted one is wrong.',
+    'You searched Stack Overflow. The top result was your own question from 2019. You never answered it.',
+    'The Stack Overflow answer starts with "This is a bad idea, but..." and you are already copying it.',
+    '"Closed as duplicate." The linked question is about a different language, framework, and decade.',
+    'You mass-copied a code snippet from 2014. It references jQuery. Your app uses React. Good luck.',
+    'The answer says "just use this library." The library was last updated in 2017.',
+    'Stack Overflow: where your question gets mass-downvoted and the duplicate link is broken.',
+    'You searched for 20 minutes. The answer was in the first comment. Under a collapsed thread.',
+    'The code you copied from Stack Overflow has a bug. The bug has its own Stack Overflow question.',
+    'Someone edited the accepted answer to say "this no longer works." No replacement was provided.',
+    'You copy-pasted from Stack Overflow so often your IDE suggested it as an import source.',
+    'The answer was perfect. It was also for Python 2. You are using Python 3. Close enough.',
+    'Stack Overflow: where mass-duplicating answers is frowned upon but mass-copying them is a career.',
+    'You found your exact problem on Stack Overflow. The only answer is "I have this problem too."',
+    'The most mass-copied code in production came from a Stack Overflow answer with a caveat nobody read.',
+    'You mass-searched Google. Google searched Stack Overflow. Stack Overflow said "closed as duplicate."',
+    'Stack Overflow karma: mass-answering questions in 2014 pays reputation dividends forever.',
+    'The answer starts with "I know this is an old question, but..." and saves your entire sprint.',
+    'You read three Stack Overflow threads, two blog posts, and a GitHub issue. The fix was a typo.',
+    'The top answer has a mass of comments saying "this does not work." It has 2000 upvotes.',
+    'You mass-Googled the error message. Every result is the same unanswered Stack Overflow question.',
+    'Stack Overflow taught you more than your CS degree. The CS degree cost more though.',
+    'The real dependency is not npm. It is the mass-copied Stack Overflow snippets holding your app together.',
+    'You mass-searched, mass-copied, and mass-deployed. The Stack Overflow-driven development lifecycle.',
+];
+export const PHRASE_CATEGORIES = [
+    { id: 'sidekick-energy', phrases: SIDEKICK_ENERGY },
+    { id: 'ai-commentary', phrases: AI_COMMENTARY },
+    { id: 'dev-relatable', phrases: DEV_RELATABLE },
+    { id: 'dramatic', phrases: DRAMATIC },
+    { id: 'punchy', phrases: PUNCHY },
+    { id: 'meta-monitoring', phrases: META_MONITORING },
+    { id: 'fourth-wall', phrases: FOURTH_WALL },
+    { id: 'ecosystem', phrases: THE_ECOSYSTEM },
+    { id: 'ai-industry', phrases: AI_INDUSTRY },
+    { id: 'motivation', phrases: MOTIVATION },
+    { id: 'sycophancy', phrases: SYCOPHANCY },
+    { id: 'obsolescence', phrases: OBSOLESCENCE },
+    { id: 'vibe-coding', phrases: VIBE_CODING },
+    { id: 'after-hours', phrases: AFTER_HOURS },
+    { id: 'loading-tips', phrases: LOADING_TIPS },
+    { id: 'error-messages', phrases: ERROR_MESSAGES },
+    { id: 'overheard', phrases: OVERHEARD },
+    { id: 'commit-sins', phrases: COMMIT_SINS },
+    { id: 'fortune-cookie', phrases: FORTUNE_COOKIE },
+    { id: 'interview-hell', phrases: INTERVIEW_HELL },
+    { id: 'tongue-twisters', phrases: TONGUE_TWISTERS },
+    { id: 'rubber-duck', phrases: RUBBER_DUCK },
+    { id: 'dependency-hell', phrases: DEPENDENCY_HELL },
+    { id: 'stack-overflow', phrases: STACK_OVERFLOW },
+];
+export const ALL_PHRASES = PHRASE_CATEGORIES.flatMap((category) => category.phrases);
+/** Pick a random phrase from all categories. */
+export function getRandomPhrase() {
+    return ALL_PHRASES[Math.floor(Math.random() * ALL_PHRASES.length)];
+}