idiotik.js 1.0.1 → 1.0.12

package/package.json

@@ -1,12 +1,17 @@
 {
   "name": "idiotik.js",
-  "version": "1.0.1",
+  "version": "1.0.12",
   "description": "youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit for the browser",
   "main": "src/idiotik.js",
   "scripts": {
     "build": "node build.js"
   },
-  "keywords": ["chaos", "prank", "browser", "youareanidiot"],
+  "keywords": [
+    "chaos",
+    "prank",
+    "browser",
+    "youareanidiot"
+  ],
   "license": "MIT",
   "files": [
     "src/",

package/src/idiotik.js

@@ -8,11 +8,110 @@
   // ─── GLOBAL STATE ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
   let _recursive = true;
   let _volume = 100;
-  let _activeScripts = {};       // id -> { intervals, timeouts, audioNodes }
+  let _activeScripts = {};
   let _activeEffects = new Set();
   let _audioCtx = null;
-  let _lastStarted = null;       // last method ref passed to idiotik.start()
-  let _scriptStack = [];         // current script context stack
+  let _lastStarted = null;
+  let _scriptStack = [];
+
+  // ─── PRESET REGISTRY ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  const _presets = {
+    classic: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT HA HA HA HA HA HA"));
+      idiotik.repeat("inf");
+      idiotik.continue;
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
+    },
+    nuclear: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(5000);
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.fullscreen())();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.freeze())();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("none"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.say("💀💀💀 YOU ARE SO COOKED 💀💀💀"));
+      idiotik.repeat("inf");
+    },
+    mild: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.volume(100);
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.say("gotcha lol"));
+      idiotik.repeat(5);
+    },
+    rickroll: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.redirect("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ"))();
+    },
+    jumpscare: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(300);
+      idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.jumpscare(
+          "https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg/640px-Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg"
+        ))();
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
+      });
+    },
+    epilepsy: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(450);
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("invert"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("rainbow"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
+    },
+    robux: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("yes");
+      idiotik.volume(200);
+      idiotik.script();
+        idiotik.id("robux");
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.say("FREE ROBUX AT PORNHUB.COM!!!"));
+        idiotik.repeat("inf");
+        idiotik.continue;
+      idiotik.end();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("explode"))();
+    },
+    villain: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.volume(150);
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))();
+      idiotik.wait(2000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
+      });
+      idiotik.wait(4000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.volume(500);
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
+        idiotik.recursive("yes");
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.say("did you really think you were safe 🗿"));
+        idiotik.repeat("inf");
+      });
+    },
+    melt: function() {
+      idiotik.recursive("no");
+      idiotik.volume(100);
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("melt"))();
+      idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
+      idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
+        idiotik.volume(300);
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
+        idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
+      });
+    },
+  };
 
   // ─── HELPERS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
   function _getAudioCtx() {
@@ -40,22 +139,14 @@
     const source = ctx.createBufferSource();
     source.buffer = buffer;
     source.loop = true;
-
     const gainNode = ctx.createGain();
     const rawVol = _volume;
-
-    // volume scaling
-    if (rawVol <= 100) {
-      gainNode.gain.value = rawVol / 100;
-    } else if (rawVol <= 200) {
+    if (rawVol <= 200) {
       gainNode.gain.value = rawVol / 100;
     } else {
       gainNode.gain.value = Math.min(rawVol / 100, 50);
     }
-
     let lastNode = source;
-
-    // bass boost kicks in at 201
     if (rawVol > 200) {
       const bassBoost = ctx.createBiquadFilter();
       bassBoost.type = "lowshelf";
@@ -65,17 +156,15 @@
       lastNode.connect(bassBoost);
       lastNode = bassBoost;
     }
-
-    // full EQ rape kicks in at 450
     if (rawVol >= 450) {
       const bands = [
-        { type: "lowshelf",   freq: 60,    gain: 40 },
-        { type: "peaking",    freq: 250,   gain: 40 },
-        { type: "peaking",    freq: 500,   gain: 40 },
-        { type: "peaking",    freq: 1500,  gain: 40 },
-        { type: "peaking",    freq: 4000,  gain: 40 },
-        { type: "peaking",    freq: 8000,  gain: 40 },
-        { type: "highshelf",  freq: 16000, gain: 40 },
+        { type: "lowshelf",  freq: 60,    gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 250,   gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 500,   gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 1500,  gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 4000,  gain: 40 },
+        { type: "peaking",   freq: 8000,  gain: 40 },
+        { type: "highshelf", freq: 16000, gain: 40 },
       ];
       for (const b of bands) {
         const f = ctx.createBiquadFilter();
@@ -86,7 +175,6 @@
         lastNode = f;
       }
     }
-
     lastNode.connect(gainNode);
     gainNode.connect(ctx.destination);
     return source;
@@ -102,16 +190,22 @@
     return source;
   }
 
+  function _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile) {
+    if (typeof urlOrFile === "string" && urlOrFile.startsWith("file://")) {
+      return urlOrFile.replace("file://", "");
+    }
+    return urlOrFile;
+  }
+
   // ─── CURSOR PRESETS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
   const _cursorPresets = {
-    hand:    "pointer",
-    none:    "none",
+    hand:      "pointer",
+    none:      "none",
     crosshair: "crosshair",
-    wait:    "wait",
-    // animated ones inject a style tag
-    rainbow: "__rainbow__",
-    wiggle:  "__wiggle__",
-    explode: "__explode__",
+    wait:      "wait",
+    rainbow:   "__rainbow__",
+    wiggle:    "__wiggle__",
+    explode:   "__explode__",
   };
 
   // ─── EFFECT IMPLEMENTATIONS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
@@ -211,10 +305,10 @@
     },
   };
 
-  // ─── CORE idiotik OBJECT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+  // ─── CORE OBJECT ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
   const idiotik = {
 
-    // ── GLOBAL TOGGLES ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── GLOBAL TOGGLES ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     recursive(val) {
       _recursive = (val === true || val === "yes" || val === 1);
@@ -226,7 +320,32 @@
       return idiotik;
     },
 
-    // ── SCRIPT CONTEXT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── PRESET SYSTEM ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+
+    preset(name) {
+      return function() {
+        if (_presets[name]) {
+          _presets[name]();
+        } else {
+          console.warn(`idiotik.preset: unknown preset "${name}". run idiotik.list() to see available presets.`);
+        }
+      };
+    },
+
+    list() {
+      const names = Object.keys(_presets);
+      console.log(`%cidiotik.js — available presets (${names.length})`, "font-weight:bold;color:#ff4444;font-size:14px;");
+      names.forEach(n => console.log(`  %c• ${n}`, "color:#ffcc00;"));
+      console.log('%cusage: idiotik.start(idiotik.preset("name"))()', "color:#aaa;font-style:italic;");
+      return names;
+    },
+
+    registerPreset(name, fn) {
+      _presets[name] = fn;
+      return idiotik;
+    },
+
+    // ── SCRIPT CONTEXT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     script() {
       const ctx = {
@@ -253,6 +372,19 @@
       _requireScript("html");
       const ctx = _currentScript();
       ctx._html = code;
+      const div = document.createElement("div");
+      div.innerHTML = code;
+      document.body.appendChild(div);
+      ctx.htmlNodes.push(div);
+      if (_recursive) {
+        const id = setInterval(() => {
+          const d = document.createElement("div");
+          d.innerHTML = code;
+          document.body.appendChild(d);
+          ctx.htmlNodes.push(d);
+        }, 500);
+        ctx.intervals.push(id);
+      }
       return idiotik;
     },
 
@@ -262,13 +394,11 @@
       return idiotik;
     },
 
-    // ── FLOW CONTROL ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── FLOW CONTROL ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     start(ref) {
       _lastStarted = ref;
-      if (typeof ref === "function") {
-        ref();
-      }
+      if (typeof ref === "function") ref();
       return idiotik;
     },
 
@@ -292,7 +422,6 @@
     },
 
     get continue() {
-      // no-op — execution continues naturally (async stuff already running)
       return idiotik;
     },
 
@@ -314,7 +443,7 @@
       return idiotik;
     },
 
-    // ── CONDITIONAL ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── CONDITIONAL ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     _ifResult: null,
 
@@ -323,9 +452,7 @@
       return {
         then(fn) {
           if (idiotik._ifResult) fn();
-          return {
-            else(fn2) { if (!idiotik._ifResult) fn2(); return idiotik; }
-          };
+          return { else(fn2) { if (!idiotik._ifResult) fn2(); return idiotik; } };
         }
       };
     },
@@ -341,7 +468,7 @@
       return idiotik;
     },
 
-    // ── CHAOS METHODS ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── CHAOS METHODS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     say(msg) {
       return function _say() {
@@ -351,9 +478,7 @@
     },
 
     redirect(url) {
-      return function() {
-        window.location.href = url;
-      };
+      return function() { window.location.href = url; };
     },
 
     freeze() {
@@ -384,10 +509,7 @@
         img.style.cssText = "max-width:100%;max-height:100%;object-fit:contain;";
         div.appendChild(img);
         document.body.appendChild(div);
-        if (sfxUrl) {
-          const parsed = _parseAudioUrl(sfxUrl);
-          _loadAndPlay(parsed);
-        }
+        if (sfxUrl) _loadAndPlay(_parseAudioUrl(sfxUrl));
         const ctx = _currentScript();
         if (ctx) ctx.htmlNodes.push(div);
         if (_recursive) setTimeout(() => { div.remove(); _js(); }, 1000);
@@ -395,7 +517,7 @@
     },
 
     scream() {
-      return function() {
+      return function _scream() {
         const ctx = _getAudioCtx();
         const osc = ctx.createOscillator();
         const gain = ctx.createGain();
@@ -406,11 +528,11 @@
         gain.connect(ctx.destination);
         osc.start();
         setTimeout(() => osc.stop(), 2000);
-        if (_recursive) setTimeout(idiotik.scream()(), 2100);
+        if (_recursive) setTimeout(_scream, 2100);
       };
     },
 
-    // ── AUDIO ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── AUDIO ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     audio(urlOrFile) {
       const parsed = _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile);
@@ -422,7 +544,7 @@
       };
     },
 
-    // ── EFFECT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── EFFECT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     effect(name) {
       return function() {
@@ -430,7 +552,7 @@
           _activeEffects.add(name);
           _effectImpls[name]();
         } else {
-          console.warn(`idiotik.effect: unknown preset "${name}"`);
+          console.warn(`idiotik.effect: unknown effect "${name}"`);
         }
       };
     },
@@ -440,13 +562,12 @@
       document.querySelectorAll("[id^='__idiotik_']").forEach(el => el.remove());
     },
 
-    // ── CURSOR ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
+    // ── CURSOR ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 
     cursor(preset) {
       return function() {
         const val = _cursorPresets[preset];
         if (!val) {
-          // treat as URL
           document.body.style.cursor = `url(${preset}), auto`;
           return;
         }
@@ -454,12 +575,11 @@
           let h = 0;
           setInterval(() => {
             const svg = `<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><circle cx='10' cy='10' r='10' fill='hsl(${h},100%,50%)'/></svg>`;
-            const url = `url("data:image/svg+xml,${encodeURIComponent(svg)}")`;
-            document.body.style.cursor = `${url}, auto`;
+            document.body.style.cursor = `url("data:image/svg+xml,${encodeURIComponent(svg)}"), auto`;
             h = (h + 10) % 360;
           }, 50);
         } else if (val === "__wiggle__") {
-          document.addEventListener("mousemove", e => {
+          document.addEventListener("mousemove", () => {
             const offset = Math.sin(Date.now() / 100) * 10;
             document.body.style.cursor = `url("data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><text y='16' font-size='16'>👆</text></svg>") ${offset} 0, auto`;
           });
@@ -484,58 +604,8 @@
       };
     },
 
-    // ── PRESETS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
-
-    classic() {
-      return function() {
-        idiotik.recursive("yes");
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT HA HA HA HA HA HA"));
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
-      };
-    },
-
-    mild() {
-      return function() {
-        idiotik.recursive("no");
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.say("gotcha lol"));
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
-      };
-    },
-
-    nuclear() {
-      return function() {
-        idiotik.recursive("yes");
-        idiotik.volume(5000);
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.fullscreen())();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.freeze())();
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.say("💀💀💀 YOU ARE SO COOKED 💀💀💀"));
-      };
-    },
-
-    rickroll() {
-      return function() {
-        idiotik.recursive("no");
-        idiotik.start(idiotik.redirect("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ"))();
-      };
-    },
-
   };
 
-  // ─── INTERNAL UTILS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
-  function _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile) {
-    if (typeof urlOrFile === "string" && urlOrFile.startsWith("file://")) {
-      return urlOrFile.replace("file://", "");
-    }
-    return urlOrFile;
-  }
-
   // ─── EXPORT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
   if (typeof module !== "undefined" && module.exports) {
     module.exports = idiotik;
@@ -543,4 +613,4 @@
     global.idiotik = idiotik;
   }
 
-})(typeof window !== "undefined" ? window : global);
+})(typeof window !== "undefined" ? window : global);