idiotik.js 1.0.0 → 1.0.11

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Files changed (12) hide show
  1. package/README.md +76 -76
  2. package/package.json +2 -2
  3. package/presets/classic.js +11 -0
  4. package/presets/epilepsy.js +13 -0
  5. package/presets/jumpscare.js +17 -0
  6. package/presets/melt.js +13 -0
  7. package/presets/mild.js +10 -0
  8. package/presets/nuclear.js +18 -0
  9. package/presets/rickroll.js +6 -0
  10. package/presets/robux.js +16 -0
  11. package/presets/villain.js +23 -0
  12. package/src/{idiot.js → idiotik.js} +223 -153
package/README.md CHANGED
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
1
- # idiot.js
1
+ # idiotik.js
2
2
 
3
3
  youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit for the browser. recursive by default. you were warned.
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4
 
@@ -7,13 +7,13 @@ youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit for the browser. recursive by default. you wer
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7
  ## install
8
8
 
9
9
  ```bash
10
- npm install idiot.js
10
+ npm install idiotik.js
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11
  ```
12
12
 
13
- or just drop `src/idiot.js` into your page:
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+ or just drop `src/idiotik.js` into your page:
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14
 
15
15
  ```html
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- <script src="idiot.js"></script>
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+ <script src="idiotik.js"></script>
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17
  ```
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18
 
19
19
  ---
@@ -23,8 +23,8 @@ or just drop `src/idiot.js` into your page:
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23
  ### global toggles
24
24
 
25
25
  ```js
26
- idiot.recursive(yes/no) // default: yes — everything spawns itself
27
- idiot.volume(0-5000) // 101-200: loud | 201-449: + bass boost | 450+: full EQ destruction
26
+ idiotik.recursive(yes/no) // default: yes — everything spawns itself
27
+ idiotik.volume(0-5000) // 101-200: loud | 201-449: + bass boost | 450+: full EQ destruction
28
28
  ```
29
29
 
30
30
  ---
@@ -34,19 +34,19 @@ idiot.volume(0-5000) // 101-200: loud | 201-449: + bass boost | 450+: full
34
34
  group and tag sequences so you can kill them later.
35
35
 
36
36
  ```js
37
- idiot.script()
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- idiot.id("myscript") // name it so idiot.halt() can kill it
39
- idiot.html("<b>chaos</b>") // inject html — ONLY works inside script()
40
- idiot.start(idiot.html)
41
- idiot.repeat(inf)
42
- idiot.continue // keep running, move on
43
- idiot.end()
44
-
45
- idiot.halt("myscript") // kills everything under that id
37
+ idiotik.script()
38
+ idiotik.id("myscript") // name it so idiotik.halt() can kill it
39
+ idiotik.html("<b>chaos</b>") // inject html — ONLY works inside script()
40
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.html)
41
+ idiotik.repeat(inf)
42
+ idiotik.continue // keep running, move on
43
+ idiotik.end()
44
+
45
+ idiotik.halt("myscript") // kills everything under that id
46
46
  ```
47
47
 
48
- - `idiot.html()` **must** be inside `idiot.script()` — throws if used outside
49
- - `idiot.id()` **must** be inside `idiot.script()`
48
+ - `idiotik.html()` **must** be inside `idiotik.script()` — throws if used outside
49
+ - `idiotik.id()` **must** be inside `idiotik.script()`
50
50
  - everything else works inside or outside
51
51
 
52
52
  ---
@@ -54,13 +54,13 @@ idiot.halt("myscript") // kills everything under that id
54
54
  ### flow control
55
55
 
56
56
  ```js
57
- idiot.start(ref) // fire a method
58
- idiot.repeat(n / inf) // repeat last start n times or forever
59
- idiot.continue // don't block, keep going (async)
60
- idiot.wait(ms) // delay (returns promise)
61
- idiot.halt("id") // force stop a named script
62
- idiot.random(a, b, c) // picks one randomly and fires it
63
- idiot.if(condition).then(fn).else(fn2)
57
+ idiotik.start(ref) // fire a method
58
+ idiotik.repeat(n / inf) // repeat last start n times or forever
59
+ idiotik.continue // don't block, keep going (async)
60
+ idiotik.wait(ms) // delay (returns promise)
61
+ idiotik.halt("id") // force stop a named script
62
+ idiotik.random(a, b, c) // picks one randomly and fires it
63
+ idiotik.if(condition).then(fn).else(fn2)
64
64
  ```
65
65
 
66
66
  ---
@@ -68,12 +68,12 @@ idiot.if(condition).then(fn).else(fn2)
68
68
  ### chaos methods
69
69
 
70
70
  ```js
71
- idiot.say("msg") // alert loop
72
- idiot.scream() // audio blast via oscillator
73
- idiot.jumpscare(imgUrl, sfxUrl) // fullscreen image + sound
74
- idiot.redirect(url) // sends em somewhere else
75
- idiot.freeze() // disables all user input
76
- idiot.fullscreen() // forces fullscreen, fights exit
71
+ idiotik.say("msg") // alert loop
72
+ idiotik.scream() // audio blast via oscillator
73
+ idiotik.jumpscare(imgUrl, sfxUrl) // fullscreen image + sound
74
+ idiotik.redirect(url) // sends em somewhere else
75
+ idiotik.freeze() // disables all user input
76
+ idiotik.fullscreen() // forces fullscreen, fights exit
77
77
  ```
78
78
 
79
79
  ---
@@ -81,12 +81,12 @@ idiot.fullscreen() // forces fullscreen, fights exit
81
81
  ### audio
82
82
 
83
83
  ```js
84
- idiot.audio("https://example.com/sound.mp3") // from url
85
- idiot.audio("file://mysound.mp3") // local file (strips file://)
86
- idiot.volume(150) // loud
87
- idiot.volume(300) // loud + bass boosted
88
- idiot.volume(500) // loud + bass boost + every EQ band maxed 💀
89
- idiot.volume(5000) // sonic weapon
84
+ idiotik.audio("https://example.com/sound.mp3") // from url
85
+ idiotik.audio("file://mysound.mp3") // local file (strips file://)
86
+ idiotik.volume(150) // loud
87
+ idiotik.volume(300) // loud + bass boosted
88
+ idiotik.volume(500) // loud + bass boost + every EQ band maxed 💀
89
+ idiotik.volume(5000) // sonic weapon
90
90
  ```
91
91
 
92
92
  ---
@@ -94,15 +94,15 @@ idiot.volume(5000) // sonic weapon
94
94
  ### effects (stackable)
95
95
 
96
96
  ```js
97
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("shake"))() // seizure mode
98
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("spin"))() // rotating hell
99
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("glitch"))() // css glitch
100
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("rainbow"))() // color flash
101
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("invert"))() // inverts page
102
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("matrix"))() // you already know
103
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("melt"))() // page droops
104
-
105
- idiot.cleareffects() // wipe all active effects
97
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))() // seizure mode
98
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))() // rotating hell
99
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))() // css glitch
100
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))() // color flash
101
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("invert"))() // inverts page
102
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))() // you already know
103
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("melt"))() // page droops
104
+
105
+ idiotik.cleareffects() // wipe all active effects
106
106
  ```
107
107
 
108
108
  effects stack — calling multiple adds them all simultaneously.
@@ -112,13 +112,13 @@ effects stack — calling multiple adds them all simultaneously.
112
112
  ### cursor
113
113
 
114
114
  ```js
115
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("hand")) // pointer everywhere
116
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("none")) // cursor gone
117
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("rainbow")) // color trail
118
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("wiggle")) // cursor fights you
119
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("explode")) // particles on click
120
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("crosshair")) // crosshair
121
- idiot.start(idiot.cursor("https://example.com/cur.png")) // custom url
115
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("hand")) // pointer everywhere
116
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("none")) // cursor gone
117
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("rainbow")) // color trail
118
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("wiggle")) // cursor fights you
119
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("explode")) // particles on click
120
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("crosshair")) // crosshair
121
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("https://example.com/cur.png")) // custom url
122
122
  ```
123
123
 
124
124
  ---
@@ -126,10 +126,10 @@ idiot.start(idiot.cursor("https://example.com/cur.png")) // custom url
126
126
  ### presets
127
127
 
128
128
  ```js
129
- idiot.start(idiot.classic())() // the full youareanidiot experience
130
- idiot.start(idiot.mild())() // annoying but survivable
131
- idiot.start(idiot.nuclear())() // god help them
132
- idiot.start(idiot.rickroll())() // you know what this does
129
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.classic())() // the full youareanidiot experience
130
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.mild())() // annoying but survivable
131
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.nuclear())() // god help them
132
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.rickroll())() // you know what this does
133
133
  ```
134
134
 
135
135
  ---
@@ -139,44 +139,44 @@ idiot.start(idiot.rickroll())() // you know what this does
139
139
  ### basic alert spam
140
140
 
141
141
  ```js
142
- idiot.start(idiot.say("FREE ROBUX AT PORNHUB.COM!!!"))
143
- idiot.repeat(inf)
144
- idiot.continue
142
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("FREE ROBUX AT PORNHUB.COM!!!"))
143
+ idiotik.repeat(inf)
144
+ idiotik.continue
145
145
  ```
146
146
 
147
147
  ### named script you can kill
148
148
 
149
149
  ```js
150
- idiot.script()
151
- idiot.id("chaos")
152
- idiot.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT")
153
- idiot.start(idiot.say)
154
- idiot.repeat(inf)
155
- idiot.continue
156
- idiot.end()
150
+ idiotik.script()
151
+ idiotik.id("chaos")
152
+ idiotik.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT")
153
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say)
154
+ idiotik.repeat(inf)
155
+ idiotik.continue
156
+ idiotik.end()
157
157
 
158
158
  // somewhere else:
159
- idiot.halt("chaos")
159
+ idiotik.halt("chaos")
160
160
  ```
161
161
 
162
162
  ### stacked effects
163
163
 
164
164
  ```js
165
- idiot.recursive("yes")
166
- idiot.volume(5000)
167
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("shake"))()
168
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("rainbow"))()
169
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("glitch"))()
170
- idiot.start(idiot.scream())()
165
+ idiotik.recursive("yes")
166
+ idiotik.volume(5000)
167
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))()
168
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))()
169
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))()
170
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())()
171
171
  ```
172
172
 
173
173
  ### conditional chaos
174
174
 
175
175
  ```js
176
- idiot.if(userIsAnnoying).then(() => {
177
- idiot.start(idiot.nuclear())()
176
+ idiotik.if(userIsAnnoying).then(() => {
177
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.nuclear())()
178
178
  }).else(() => {
179
- idiot.start(idiot.mild())()
179
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.mild())()
180
180
  })
181
181
  ```
182
182
 
package/package.json CHANGED
@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
1
1
  {
2
2
  "name": "idiotik.js",
3
- "version": "1.0.0",
3
+ "version": "1.0.11",
4
4
  "description": "youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit for the browser",
5
- "main": "src/idiot.js",
5
+ "main": "src/idiotik.js",
6
6
  "scripts": {
7
7
  "build": "node build.js"
8
8
  },
package/presets/classic.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: classic
3
+ * the full youareanidiot experience. no survivors.
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
6
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
7
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
8
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT HA HA HA HA HA HA"));
9
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
10
+ idiotik.continue
11
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
package/presets/epilepsy.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: epilepsy
3
+ * maximum visual chaos. stack everything.
4
+ * (actual epilepsy warning lol)
5
+ */
6
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
7
+ idiotik.volume(450);
8
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
9
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
10
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
11
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("invert"))();
12
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("rainbow"))();
13
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
package/presets/jumpscare.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: jumpscare
3
+ * wait for it... wait for it...
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
6
+ idiotik.volume(300);
7
+
8
+ idiotik.script()
9
+ idiotik.id("jumpscare")
10
+ idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
11
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
12
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.jumpscare(
13
+ "https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg/640px-Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg"
14
+ ))();
15
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
16
+ });
17
+ idiotik.end()
package/presets/melt.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: melt
3
+ * slow and painful. the page just... gives up.
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
6
+ idiotik.volume(100);
7
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("melt"))();
8
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
9
+ idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
10
+ idiotik.volume(300);
11
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
12
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
13
+ });
package/presets/mild.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: mild
3
+ * annoying but survivable. barely.
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
6
+ idiotik.volume(100);
7
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
8
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("gotcha lol"));
9
+ idiotik.repeat(5);
10
+ idiotik.continue
package/presets/nuclear.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: nuclear
3
+ * god help them. seriously.
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
6
+ idiotik.volume(5000);
7
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
8
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
9
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
10
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
11
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))();
12
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
13
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.fullscreen())();
14
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.freeze())();
15
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("none"))();
16
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("💀💀💀 YOU ARE SO COOKED 💀💀💀"));
17
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
18
+ idiotik.continue
package/presets/rickroll.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: rickroll
3
+ * never gonna give you up.
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
6
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.redirect("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ"))();
package/presets/robux.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: robux
3
+ * free robux guaranteed
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
6
+ idiotik.volume(200);
7
+
8
+ idiotik.script()
9
+ idiotik.id("robux")
10
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("FREE ROBUX AT PORNHUB.COM!!!"));
11
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
12
+ idiotik.continue
13
+ idiotik.end()
14
+
15
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
16
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("explode"))();
package/presets/villain.js ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
1
+ /**
2
+ * idiotik preset: villain
3
+ * slow burn. maximum dread.
4
+ */
5
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
6
+ idiotik.volume(150);
7
+
8
+ idiotik.script()
9
+ idiotik.id("villain")
10
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))();
11
+ idiotik.continue
12
+ idiotik.wait(2000).then(() => {
13
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
14
+ });
15
+ idiotik.wait(4000).then(() => {
16
+ idiotik.volume(500);
17
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
18
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
19
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
20
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("did you really think you were safe 🗿"));
21
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
22
+ });
23
+ idiotik.end()
package/src/{idiot.js → idiotik.js} RENAMED
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
1
1
  /**
2
- * idiot.js — youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit
2
+ * idiotik.js — youareanidiot-style chaos toolkit
3
3
  * recursive by default. you were warned.
4
4
  */
5
5
 
@@ -8,11 +8,110 @@
8
8
  // ─── GLOBAL STATE ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
9
9
  let _recursive = true;
10
10
  let _volume = 100;
11
- let _activeScripts = {}; // id -> { intervals, timeouts, audioNodes }
11
+ let _activeScripts = {};
12
12
  let _activeEffects = new Set();
13
13
  let _audioCtx = null;
14
- let _lastStarted = null; // last method ref passed to idiot.start()
15
- let _scriptStack = []; // current script context stack
14
+ let _lastStarted = null;
15
+ let _scriptStack = [];
16
+
17
+ // ─── PRESET REGISTRY ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
18
+ const _presets = {
19
+ classic: function() {
20
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
21
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
22
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
23
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT HA HA HA HA HA HA"));
24
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
25
+ idiotik.continue;
26
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
27
+ },
28
+ nuclear: function() {
29
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
30
+ idiotik.volume(5000);
31
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
32
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
33
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
34
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
35
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))();
36
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
37
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.fullscreen())();
38
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.freeze())();
39
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("none"))();
40
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("💀💀💀 YOU ARE SO COOKED 💀💀💀"));
41
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
42
+ },
43
+ mild: function() {
44
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
45
+ idiotik.volume(100);
46
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
47
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("gotcha lol"));
48
+ idiotik.repeat(5);
49
+ },
50
+ rickroll: function() {
51
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
52
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.redirect("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ"))();
53
+ },
54
+ jumpscare: function() {
55
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
56
+ idiotik.volume(300);
57
+ idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
58
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
59
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.jumpscare(
60
+ "https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg/640px-Camponotus_flavomarginatus_ant.jpg"
61
+ ))();
62
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
63
+ });
64
+ },
65
+ epilepsy: function() {
66
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
67
+ idiotik.volume(450);
68
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
69
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
70
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
71
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("invert"))();
72
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("rainbow"))();
73
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
74
+ },
75
+ robux: function() {
76
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
77
+ idiotik.volume(200);
78
+ idiotik.script();
79
+ idiotik.id("robux");
80
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("FREE ROBUX AT PORNHUB.COM!!!"));
81
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
82
+ idiotik.continue;
83
+ idiotik.end();
84
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
85
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.cursor("explode"))();
86
+ },
87
+ villain: function() {
88
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
89
+ idiotik.volume(150);
90
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("matrix"))();
91
+ idiotik.wait(2000).then(() => {
92
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("glitch"))();
93
+ });
94
+ idiotik.wait(4000).then(() => {
95
+ idiotik.volume(500);
96
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("shake"))();
97
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
98
+ idiotik.recursive("yes");
99
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.say("did you really think you were safe 🗿"));
100
+ idiotik.repeat("inf");
101
+ });
102
+ },
103
+ melt: function() {
104
+ idiotik.recursive("no");
105
+ idiotik.volume(100);
106
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("melt"))();
107
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("spin"))();
108
+ idiotik.wait(3000).then(() => {
109
+ idiotik.volume(300);
110
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.effect("rainbow"))();
111
+ idiotik.start(idiotik.scream())();
112
+ });
113
+ },
114
+ };
16
115
 
17
116
  // ─── HELPERS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
18
117
  function _getAudioCtx() {
@@ -25,7 +124,7 @@
25
124
  }
26
125
 
27
126
  function _requireScript(name) {
28
- if (!_currentScript()) throw new Error(`idiot.${name}() must be inside idiot.script()`);
127
+ if (!_currentScript()) throw new Error(`idiotik.${name}() must be inside idiotik.script()`);
29
128
  }
30
129
 
31
130
  function _track(thing, type) {
@@ -40,22 +139,14 @@
40
139
  const source = ctx.createBufferSource();
41
140
  source.buffer = buffer;
42
141
  source.loop = true;
43
-
44
142
  const gainNode = ctx.createGain();
45
143
  const rawVol = _volume;
46
-
47
- // volume scaling
48
- if (rawVol <= 100) {
49
- gainNode.gain.value = rawVol / 100;
50
- } else if (rawVol <= 200) {
144
+ if (rawVol <= 200) {
51
145
  gainNode.gain.value = rawVol / 100;
52
146
  } else {
53
147
  gainNode.gain.value = Math.min(rawVol / 100, 50);
54
148
  }
55
-
56
149
  let lastNode = source;
57
-
58
- // bass boost kicks in at 201
59
150
  if (rawVol > 200) {
60
151
  const bassBoost = ctx.createBiquadFilter();
61
152
  bassBoost.type = "lowshelf";
@@ -65,17 +156,15 @@
65
156
  lastNode.connect(bassBoost);
66
157
  lastNode = bassBoost;
67
158
  }
68
-
69
- // full EQ rape kicks in at 450
70
159
  if (rawVol >= 450) {
71
160
  const bands = [
72
- { type: "lowshelf", freq: 60, gain: 40 },
73
- { type: "peaking", freq: 250, gain: 40 },
74
- { type: "peaking", freq: 500, gain: 40 },
75
- { type: "peaking", freq: 1500, gain: 40 },
76
- { type: "peaking", freq: 4000, gain: 40 },
77
- { type: "peaking", freq: 8000, gain: 40 },
78
- { type: "highshelf", freq: 16000, gain: 40 },
161
+ { type: "lowshelf", freq: 60, gain: 40 },
162
+ { type: "peaking", freq: 250, gain: 40 },
163
+ { type: "peaking", freq: 500, gain: 40 },
164
+ { type: "peaking", freq: 1500, gain: 40 },
165
+ { type: "peaking", freq: 4000, gain: 40 },
166
+ { type: "peaking", freq: 8000, gain: 40 },
167
+ { type: "highshelf", freq: 16000, gain: 40 },
79
168
  ];
80
169
  for (const b of bands) {
81
170
  const f = ctx.createBiquadFilter();
@@ -86,7 +175,6 @@
86
175
  lastNode = f;
87
176
  }
88
177
  }
89
-
90
178
  lastNode.connect(gainNode);
91
179
  gainNode.connect(ctx.destination);
92
180
  return source;
@@ -102,69 +190,75 @@
102
190
  return source;
103
191
  }
104
192
 
193
+ function _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile) {
194
+ if (typeof urlOrFile === "string" && urlOrFile.startsWith("file://")) {
195
+ return urlOrFile.replace("file://", "");
196
+ }
197
+ return urlOrFile;
198
+ }
199
+
105
200
  // ─── CURSOR PRESETS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
106
201
  const _cursorPresets = {
107
- hand: "pointer",
108
- none: "none",
202
+ hand: "pointer",
203
+ none: "none",
109
204
  crosshair: "crosshair",
110
- wait: "wait",
111
- // animated ones inject a style tag
112
- rainbow: "__rainbow__",
113
- wiggle: "__wiggle__",
114
- explode: "__explode__",
205
+ wait: "wait",
206
+ rainbow: "__rainbow__",
207
+ wiggle: "__wiggle__",
208
+ explode: "__explode__",
115
209
  };
116
210
 
117
211
  // ─── EFFECT IMPLEMENTATIONS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
118
212
  const _effectImpls = {
119
213
  shake() {
120
- const styleId = "__idiot_shake__";
214
+ const styleId = "__idiotik_shake__";
121
215
  if (document.getElementById(styleId)) return;
122
216
  const s = document.createElement("style");
123
217
  s.id = styleId;
124
218
  s.textContent = `
125
- @keyframes __idiot_shake { 0%,100%{transform:translate(0,0)} 10%{transform:translate(-8px,8px)} 20%{transform:translate(8px,-8px)} 30%{transform:translate(-8px,0)} 40%{transform:translate(8px,8px)} 50%{transform:translate(-4px,-4px)} 60%{transform:translate(4px,4px)} 70%{transform:translate(-8px,8px)} 80%{transform:translate(8px,-8px)} 90%{transform:translate(-4px,4px)} }
126
- body { animation: __idiot_shake 0.3s infinite; }
219
+ @keyframes __idiotik_shake { 0%,100%{transform:translate(0,0)} 10%{transform:translate(-8px,8px)} 20%{transform:translate(8px,-8px)} 30%{transform:translate(-8px,0)} 40%{transform:translate(8px,8px)} 50%{transform:translate(-4px,-4px)} 60%{transform:translate(4px,4px)} 70%{transform:translate(-8px,8px)} 80%{transform:translate(8px,-8px)} 90%{transform:translate(-4px,4px)} }
220
+ body { animation: __idiotik_shake 0.3s infinite; }
127
221
  `;
128
222
  document.head.appendChild(s);
129
223
  },
130
224
  spin() {
131
- const styleId = "__idiot_spin__";
225
+ const styleId = "__idiotik_spin__";
132
226
  if (document.getElementById(styleId)) return;
133
227
  const s = document.createElement("style");
134
228
  s.id = styleId;
135
229
  s.textContent = `
136
- @keyframes __idiot_spin { from{transform:rotate(0deg)} to{transform:rotate(360deg)} }
137
- body { animation: __idiot_spin 2s linear infinite; transform-origin: center center; }
230
+ @keyframes __idiotik_spin { from{transform:rotate(0deg)} to{transform:rotate(360deg)} }
231
+ body { animation: __idiotik_spin 2s linear infinite; transform-origin: center center; }
138
232
  `;
139
233
  document.head.appendChild(s);
140
234
  },
141
235
  glitch() {
142
- const styleId = "__idiot_glitch__";
236
+ const styleId = "__idiotik_glitch__";
143
237
  if (document.getElementById(styleId)) return;
144
238
  const s = document.createElement("style");
145
239
  s.id = styleId;
146
240
  s.textContent = `
147
- @keyframes __idiot_glitch1 { 0%,100%{clip-path:inset(0 0 95% 0)} 25%{clip-path:inset(30% 0 50% 0)} 50%{clip-path:inset(60% 0 20% 0)} 75%{clip-path:inset(10% 0 80% 0)} }
148
- @keyframes __idiot_glitch2 { 0%,100%{clip-path:inset(80% 0 5% 0);transform:translate(-5px,0)} 25%{clip-path:inset(20% 0 70% 0);transform:translate(5px,0)} 50%{clip-path:inset(50% 0 30% 0);transform:translate(-3px,0)} 75%{clip-path:inset(5% 0 90% 0);transform:translate(3px,0)} }
241
+ @keyframes __idiotik_glitch1 { 0%,100%{clip-path:inset(0 0 95% 0)} 25%{clip-path:inset(30% 0 50% 0)} 50%{clip-path:inset(60% 0 20% 0)} 75%{clip-path:inset(10% 0 80% 0)} }
242
+ @keyframes __idiotik_glitch2 { 0%,100%{clip-path:inset(80% 0 5% 0);transform:translate(-5px,0)} 25%{clip-path:inset(20% 0 70% 0);transform:translate(5px,0)} 50%{clip-path:inset(50% 0 30% 0);transform:translate(-3px,0)} 75%{clip-path:inset(5% 0 90% 0);transform:translate(3px,0)} }
149
243
  body::before, body::after { content:''; position:fixed; top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%; background:inherit; pointer-events:none; z-index:9999; }
150
- body::before { animation: __idiot_glitch1 0.4s infinite; color:red; text-shadow:2px 0 red; }
151
- body::after { animation: __idiot_glitch2 0.4s infinite; color:blue; text-shadow:-2px 0 blue; }
244
+ body::before { animation: __idiotik_glitch1 0.4s infinite; color:red; text-shadow:2px 0 red; }
245
+ body::after { animation: __idiotik_glitch2 0.4s infinite; color:blue; text-shadow:-2px 0 blue; }
152
246
  `;
153
247
  document.head.appendChild(s);
154
248
  },
155
249
  rainbow() {
156
- const styleId = "__idiot_rainbow__";
250
+ const styleId = "__idiotik_rainbow__";
157
251
  if (document.getElementById(styleId)) return;
158
252
  const s = document.createElement("style");
159
253
  s.id = styleId;
160
254
  s.textContent = `
161
- @keyframes __idiot_rainbow { 0%{background:#ff0000} 15%{background:#ff8800} 30%{background:#ffff00} 45%{background:#00ff00} 60%{background:#0000ff} 75%{background:#8800ff} 90%{background:#ff00ff} 100%{background:#ff0000} }
162
- body { animation: __idiot_rainbow 0.5s infinite; }
255
+ @keyframes __idiotik_rainbow { 0%{background:#ff0000} 15%{background:#ff8800} 30%{background:#ffff00} 45%{background:#00ff00} 60%{background:#0000ff} 75%{background:#8800ff} 90%{background:#ff00ff} 100%{background:#ff0000} }
256
+ body { animation: __idiotik_rainbow 0.5s infinite; }
163
257
  `;
164
258
  document.head.appendChild(s);
165
259
  },
166
260
  invert() {
167
- const styleId = "__idiot_invert__";
261
+ const styleId = "__idiotik_invert__";
168
262
  if (document.getElementById(styleId)) return;
169
263
  const s = document.createElement("style");
170
264
  s.id = styleId;
@@ -172,7 +266,7 @@
172
266
  document.head.appendChild(s);
173
267
  },
174
268
  matrix() {
175
- const canvasId = "__idiot_matrix__";
269
+ const canvasId = "__idiotik_matrix__";
176
270
  if (document.getElementById(canvasId)) return;
177
271
  const canvas = document.createElement("canvas");
178
272
  canvas.id = canvasId;
@@ -199,34 +293,59 @@
199
293
  _track(id, "intervals");
200
294
  },
201
295
  melt() {
202
- const styleId = "__idiot_melt__";
296
+ const styleId = "__idiotik_melt__";
203
297
  if (document.getElementById(styleId)) return;
204
298
  const s = document.createElement("style");
205
299
  s.id = styleId;
206
300
  s.textContent = `
207
- @keyframes __idiot_melt { 0%{transform:skewY(0deg) scaleY(1)} 50%{transform:skewY(5deg) scaleY(1.1)} 100%{transform:skewY(-3deg) scaleY(0.9)} }
208
- body { animation: __idiot_melt 1s ease-in-out infinite alternate; transform-origin: bottom; }
301
+ @keyframes __idiotik_melt { 0%{transform:skewY(0deg) scaleY(1)} 50%{transform:skewY(5deg) scaleY(1.1)} 100%{transform:skewY(-3deg) scaleY(0.9)} }
302
+ body { animation: __idiotik_melt 1s ease-in-out infinite alternate; transform-origin: bottom; }
209
303
  `;
210
304
  document.head.appendChild(s);
211
305
  },
212
306
  };
213
307
 
214
- // ─── CORE idiot OBJECT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
215
- const idiot = {
308
+ // ─── CORE OBJECT ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
309
+ const idiotik = {
216
310
 
217
- // ── GLOBAL TOGGLES ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
311
+ // ── GLOBAL TOGGLES ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
218
312
 
219
313
  recursive(val) {
220
314
  _recursive = (val === true || val === "yes" || val === 1);
221
- return idiot;
315
+ return idiotik;
222
316
  },
223
317
 
224
318
  volume(n) {
225
319
  _volume = Math.max(0, Math.min(5000, Number(n)));
226
- return idiot;
320
+ return idiotik;
321
+ },
322
+
323
+ // ── PRESET SYSTEM ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
324
+
325
+ preset(name) {
326
+ return function() {
327
+ if (_presets[name]) {
328
+ _presets[name]();
329
+ } else {
330
+ console.warn(`idiotik.preset: unknown preset "${name}". run idiotik.list() to see available presets.`);
331
+ }
332
+ };
333
+ },
334
+
335
+ list() {
336
+ const names = Object.keys(_presets);
337
+ console.log(`%cidiotik.js — available presets (${names.length})`, "font-weight:bold;color:#ff4444;font-size:14px;");
338
+ names.forEach(n => console.log(` %c• ${n}`, "color:#ffcc00;"));
339
+ console.log('%cusage: idiotik.start(idiotik.preset("name"))()', "color:#aaa;font-style:italic;");
340
+ return names;
341
+ },
342
+
343
+ registerPreset(name, fn) {
344
+ _presets[name] = fn;
345
+ return idiotik;
227
346
  },
228
347
 
229
- // ── SCRIPT CONTEXT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
348
+ // ── SCRIPT CONTEXT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
230
349
 
231
350
  script() {
232
351
  const ctx = {
@@ -238,7 +357,7 @@
238
357
  _html: null,
239
358
  };
240
359
  _scriptStack.push(ctx);
241
- return idiot;
360
+ return idiotik;
242
361
  },
243
362
 
244
363
  id(name) {
@@ -246,34 +365,45 @@
246
365
  const ctx = _currentScript();
247
366
  ctx.id = name;
248
367
  _activeScripts[name] = ctx;
249
- return idiot;
368
+ return idiotik;
250
369
  },
251
370
 
252
371
  html(code) {
253
372
  _requireScript("html");
254
373
  const ctx = _currentScript();
255
374
  ctx._html = code;
256
- return idiot;
375
+ const div = document.createElement("div");
376
+ div.innerHTML = code;
377
+ document.body.appendChild(div);
378
+ ctx.htmlNodes.push(div);
379
+ if (_recursive) {
380
+ const id = setInterval(() => {
381
+ const d = document.createElement("div");
382
+ d.innerHTML = code;
383
+ document.body.appendChild(d);
384
+ ctx.htmlNodes.push(d);
385
+ }, 500);
386
+ ctx.intervals.push(id);
387
+ }
388
+ return idiotik;
257
389
  },
258
390
 
259
391
  end() {
260
- if (!_currentScript()) throw new Error("idiot.end() called outside a script");
392
+ if (!_currentScript()) throw new Error("idiotik.end() called outside a script");
261
393
  _scriptStack.pop();
262
- return idiot;
394
+ return idiotik;
263
395
  },
264
396
 
265
- // ── FLOW CONTROL ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
397
+ // ── FLOW CONTROL ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
266
398
 
267
399
  start(ref) {
268
400
  _lastStarted = ref;
269
- if (typeof ref === "function") {
270
- ref();
271
- }
272
- return idiot;
401
+ if (typeof ref === "function") ref();
402
+ return idiotik;
273
403
  },
274
404
 
275
405
  repeat(n) {
276
- if (!_lastStarted) return idiot;
406
+ if (!_lastStarted) return idiotik;
277
407
  const fn = _lastStarted;
278
408
  const infinite = (n === Infinity || n === "inf" || n === "Infinity");
279
409
  if (infinite) {
@@ -288,12 +418,11 @@
288
418
  }, 100);
289
419
  _track(id, "intervals");
290
420
  }
291
- return idiot;
421
+ return idiotik;
292
422
  },
293
423
 
294
424
  get continue() {
295
- // no-op — execution continues naturally (async stuff already running)
296
- return idiot;
425
+ return idiotik;
297
426
  },
298
427
 
299
428
  wait(ms) {
@@ -305,43 +434,41 @@
305
434
 
306
435
  halt(name) {
307
436
  const ctx = _activeScripts[name];
308
- if (!ctx) return idiot;
437
+ if (!ctx) return idiotik;
309
438
  (ctx.intervals || []).forEach(id => clearInterval(id));
310
439
  (ctx.timeouts || []).forEach(id => clearTimeout(id));
311
440
  (ctx.audioSources || []).forEach(s => { try { s.stop(); } catch(e){} });
312
441
  (ctx.htmlNodes || []).forEach(n => { try { n.remove(); } catch(e){} });
313
442
  delete _activeScripts[name];
314
- return idiot;
443
+ return idiotik;
315
444
  },
316
445
 
317
- // ── CONDITIONAL ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
446
+ // ── CONDITIONAL ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
318
447
 
319
448
  _ifResult: null,
320
449
 
321
450
  if(condition) {
322
- idiot._ifResult = !!condition;
451
+ idiotik._ifResult = !!condition;
323
452
  return {
324
453
  then(fn) {
325
- if (idiot._ifResult) fn();
326
- return {
327
- else(fn2) { if (!idiot._ifResult) fn2(); return idiot; }
328
- };
454
+ if (idiotik._ifResult) fn();
455
+ return { else(fn2) { if (!idiotik._ifResult) fn2(); return idiotik; } };
329
456
  }
330
457
  };
331
458
  },
332
459
 
333
460
  else(fn) {
334
- if (!idiot._ifResult) fn();
335
- return idiot;
461
+ if (!idiotik._ifResult) fn();
462
+ return idiotik;
336
463
  },
337
464
 
338
465
  random(...methods) {
339
466
  const pick = methods[Math.floor(Math.random() * methods.length)];
340
467
  if (typeof pick === "function") pick();
341
- return idiot;
468
+ return idiotik;
342
469
  },
343
470
 
344
- // ── CHAOS METHODS ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
471
+ // ── CHAOS METHODS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
345
472
 
346
473
  say(msg) {
347
474
  return function _say() {
@@ -351,9 +478,7 @@
351
478
  },
352
479
 
353
480
  redirect(url) {
354
- return function() {
355
- window.location.href = url;
356
- };
481
+ return function() { window.location.href = url; };
357
482
  },
358
483
 
359
484
  freeze() {
@@ -384,10 +509,7 @@
384
509
  img.style.cssText = "max-width:100%;max-height:100%;object-fit:contain;";
385
510
  div.appendChild(img);
386
511
  document.body.appendChild(div);
387
- if (sfxUrl) {
388
- const parsed = _parseAudioUrl(sfxUrl);
389
- _loadAndPlay(parsed);
390
- }
512
+ if (sfxUrl) _loadAndPlay(_parseAudioUrl(sfxUrl));
391
513
  const ctx = _currentScript();
392
514
  if (ctx) ctx.htmlNodes.push(div);
393
515
  if (_recursive) setTimeout(() => { div.remove(); _js(); }, 1000);
@@ -395,7 +517,7 @@
395
517
  },
396
518
 
397
519
  scream() {
398
- return function() {
520
+ return function _scream() {
399
521
  const ctx = _getAudioCtx();
400
522
  const osc = ctx.createOscillator();
401
523
  const gain = ctx.createGain();
@@ -406,11 +528,11 @@
406
528
  gain.connect(ctx.destination);
407
529
  osc.start();
408
530
  setTimeout(() => osc.stop(), 2000);
409
- if (_recursive) setTimeout(idiot.scream()(), 2100);
531
+ if (_recursive) setTimeout(_scream, 2100);
410
532
  };
411
533
  },
412
534
 
413
- // ── AUDIO ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
535
+ // ── AUDIO ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
414
536
 
415
537
  audio(urlOrFile) {
416
538
  const parsed = _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile);
@@ -422,7 +544,7 @@
422
544
  };
423
545
  },
424
546
 
425
- // ── EFFECT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
547
+ // ── EFFECT ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
426
548
 
427
549
  effect(name) {
428
550
  return function() {
@@ -430,23 +552,22 @@
430
552
  _activeEffects.add(name);
431
553
  _effectImpls[name]();
432
554
  } else {
433
- console.warn(`idiot.effect: unknown preset "${name}"`);
555
+ console.warn(`idiotik.effect: unknown effect "${name}"`);
434
556
  }
435
557
  };
436
558
  },
437
559
 
438
560
  cleareffects() {
439
561
  _activeEffects.clear();
440
- document.querySelectorAll("[id^='__idiot_']").forEach(el => el.remove());
562
+ document.querySelectorAll("[id^='__idiotik_']").forEach(el => el.remove());
441
563
  },
442
564
 
443
- // ── CURSOR ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
565
+ // ── CURSOR ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
444
566
 
445
567
  cursor(preset) {
446
568
  return function() {
447
569
  const val = _cursorPresets[preset];
448
570
  if (!val) {
449
- // treat as URL
450
571
  document.body.style.cursor = `url(${preset}), auto`;
451
572
  return;
452
573
  }
@@ -454,12 +575,11 @@
454
575
  let h = 0;
455
576
  setInterval(() => {
456
577
  const svg = `<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><circle cx='10' cy='10' r='10' fill='hsl(${h},100%,50%)'/></svg>`;
457
- const url = `url("data:image/svg+xml,${encodeURIComponent(svg)}")`;
458
- document.body.style.cursor = `${url}, auto`;
578
+ document.body.style.cursor = `url("data:image/svg+xml,${encodeURIComponent(svg)}"), auto`;
459
579
  h = (h + 10) % 360;
460
580
  }, 50);
461
581
  } else if (val === "__wiggle__") {
462
- document.addEventListener("mousemove", e => {
582
+ document.addEventListener("mousemove", () => {
463
583
  const offset = Math.sin(Date.now() / 100) * 10;
464
584
  document.body.style.cursor = `url("data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='20' height='20'><text y='16' font-size='16'>👆</text></svg>") ${offset} 0, auto`;
465
585
  });
@@ -484,63 +604,13 @@
484
604
  };
485
605
  },
486
606
 
487
- // ── PRESETS ────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
488
-
489
- classic() {
490
- return function() {
491
- idiot.recursive("yes");
492
- idiot.start(idiot.say("YOU ARE AN IDIOT HA HA HA HA HA HA"));
493
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("rainbow"))();
494
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("shake"))();
495
- idiot.start(idiot.scream())();
496
- };
497
- },
498
-
499
- mild() {
500
- return function() {
501
- idiot.recursive("no");
502
- idiot.start(idiot.say("gotcha lol"));
503
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("shake"))();
504
- };
505
- },
506
-
507
- nuclear() {
508
- return function() {
509
- idiot.recursive("yes");
510
- idiot.volume(5000);
511
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("shake"))();
512
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("rainbow"))();
513
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("glitch"))();
514
- idiot.start(idiot.effect("spin"))();
515
- idiot.start(idiot.scream())();
516
- idiot.start(idiot.fullscreen())();
517
- idiot.start(idiot.freeze())();
518
- idiot.start(idiot.say("💀💀💀 YOU ARE SO COOKED 💀💀💀"));
519
- };
520
- },
521
-
522
- rickroll() {
523
- return function() {
524
- idiot.recursive("no");
525
- idiot.start(idiot.redirect("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ"))();
526
- };
527
- },
528
-
529
607
  };
530
608
 
531
- // ─── INTERNAL UTILS ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
532
- function _parseAudioUrl(urlOrFile) {
533
- if (typeof urlOrFile === "string" && urlOrFile.startsWith("file://")) {
534
- return urlOrFile.replace("file://", "");
535
- }
536
- return urlOrFile;
537
- }
538
-
539
609
  // ─── EXPORT ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
540
610
  if (typeof module !== "undefined" && module.exports) {
541
- module.exports = idiot;
611
+ module.exports = idiotik;
542
612
  } else {
543
- global.idiot = idiot;
613
+ global.idiotik = idiotik;
544
614
  }
545
615
 
546
- })(typeof window !== "undefined" ? window : global);
616
+ })(typeof window !== "undefined" ? window : global);