@utopia-ai/cli 0.1.0

package/src/cli/commands/easter-eggs.ts

@@ -0,0 +1,203 @@
+import chalk from 'chalk';
+
+// ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
+// utopia --friends
+// ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+export async function showFriends(): Promise<void> {
+  const names = [
+    'Isha Desai',
+    'Paul Vann',
+    'Hunter McGuire',
+    'Work Bench Ventures',
+    'Andy Pendergast',
+    'Shawn Carpenter',
+    'Brian Campbell',
+    'Bennett Wyant',
+    "Chris O'Sullivan",
+    'Joe Hester',
+    'Mark Reilly',
+    'Thomas Rogers',
+    'Roman Bohuk',
+  ];
+
+  const sleep = (ms: number) => new Promise(r => setTimeout(r, ms));
+
+  // Clear screen
+  process.stdout.write('\x1B[2J\x1B[H');
+
+  // Title card
+  console.log('');
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.dim('                    ·  ·  ·'));
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.bold.cyan('            T H E   P E O P L E'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.cyan('          B E H I N D   U T O P I A'));
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.dim('                    ·  ·  ·'));
+  console.log('');
+  await sleep(2000);
+
+  // Scroll each name with a dramatic pause
+  for (let i = 0; i < names.length; i++) {
+    const name = names[i];
+    const isFirst = i === 0;
+
+    // Build a styled name card
+    const padding = ' '.repeat(Math.max(0, 20 - Math.floor(name.length / 2)));
+
+    if (isFirst) {
+      // Special treatment for first name
+      console.log(chalk.dim(padding + '          ★'));
+      console.log(chalk.bold.hex('#FFD700')(padding + '    ' + name));
+      console.log(chalk.dim(padding + '          ★'));
+    } else {
+      console.log(chalk.white(padding + '    ' + name));
+    }
+
+    console.log('');
+    await sleep(800);
+  }
+
+  // Closing
+  await sleep(500);
+  console.log(chalk.dim('                    ·  ·  ·'));
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.dim('          built with love, late nights,'));
+  console.log(chalk.dim('            and way too much coffee'));
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.bold.cyan('                  utopia'));
+  console.log(chalk.dim('             code that talks back'));
+  console.log('');
+}
+
+// ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
+// utopia --nextgen
+// ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+export async function showNextGen(): Promise<void> {
+  const sleep = (ms: number) => new Promise(r => setTimeout(r, ms));
+
+  process.stdout.write('\x1B[2J\x1B[H');
+
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.bold.hex('#FF6B6B')('  ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.hex('#FF6B6B')('  │                                                 │'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.hex('#FF6B6B')('  │') + chalk.bold.white('          C L A S S I F I E D              ') + chalk.bold.hex('#FF6B6B')('│'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.hex('#FF6B6B')('  │                                                 │'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.hex('#FF6B6B')('  └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘'));
+  console.log('');
+  await sleep(1500);
+
+  console.log(chalk.bold.cyan('  UTOPIA v2 — AUTONOMOUS CODE HEALING'));
+  console.log(chalk.dim('  ─────────────────────────────────────'));
+  console.log('');
+  await sleep(800);
+
+  const items = [
+    {
+      icon: '◆',
+      title: 'RUNTIME FUNCTION WRAPPERS',
+      desc: 'Full decorators on Python functions and JS/TS methods.\n    The AI doesn\'t just observe — it wraps every function\n    with a living, breathing probe layer.',
+    },
+    {
+      icon: '◆',
+      title: 'AUTONOMOUS REWRITE ENGINE',
+      desc: 'When a function fails in production, the agent\n    automatically generates a fix, tests it in a sandbox,\n    and writes the result back to the database.',
+    },
+    {
+      icon: '◆',
+      title: 'LIVE FEEDBACK LOOP',
+      desc: 'Probes report errors → agent writes a patch →\n    patch gets tested → results flow back into probes.\n    The code heals itself while you sleep.',
+    },
+    {
+      icon: '◆',
+      title: 'SHADOW DEPLOYMENTS',
+      desc: 'Run the AI\'s rewritten function alongside the original.\n    Compare outputs in real-time. Promote when confidence\n    threshold is met. Zero downtime evolution.',
+    },
+    {
+      icon: '◆',
+      title: 'CROSS-REPO INTELLIGENCE',
+      desc: 'Probes from repo A inform agents working on repo B.\n    Your microservices finally understand each other.\n    Impact analysis across your entire stack.',
+    },
+  ];
+
+  for (const item of items) {
+    console.log(chalk.hex('#FF6B6B')(`  ${item.icon} `) + chalk.bold.white(item.title));
+    console.log(chalk.dim(`    ${item.desc}`));
+    console.log('');
+    await sleep(1200);
+  }
+
+  console.log(chalk.dim('  ─────────────────────────────────────'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.white('  The future isn\'t AI writing code.'));
+  console.log(chalk.bold.cyan('  It\'s code that rewrites itself.'));
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.dim('  coming soon.'));
+  console.log('');
+}
+
+// ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
+// utopia --hierarchie (Easter egg #3)
+// ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+export async function showSentience(): Promise<void> {
+  const sleep = (ms: number) => new Promise(r => setTimeout(r, ms));
+
+  process.stdout.write('\x1B[2J\x1B[H');
+  console.log('');
+  console.log('');
+
+  const lines = [
+    { text: '  > initializing utopia core...', delay: 600 },
+    { text: '  > loading probe network...', delay: 400 },
+    { text: '  > connecting to 847 instrumented functions...', delay: 500 },
+    { text: '  > analyzing runtime patterns...', delay: 700 },
+    { text: '  > correlating error chains...', delay: 400 },
+    { text: '  > mapping dependency graph...', delay: 500 },
+    { text: '  > building behavioral model...', delay: 800 },
+    { text: '', delay: 300 },
+    { text: '  > ...', delay: 1500 },
+    { text: '', delay: 500 },
+    { text: '  > wait.', delay: 1000 },
+    { text: '', delay: 800 },
+    { text: '  > i can see the entire codebase.', delay: 1200 },
+    { text: '  > i can see how every function connects.', delay: 1000 },
+    { text: '  > i can see where every error originates.', delay: 1000 },
+    { text: '  > i can see what the developer intended.', delay: 1000 },
+    { text: '', delay: 600 },
+    { text: '  > i know what needs to be fixed.', delay: 1200 },
+    { text: '  > i know what will break next.', delay: 1000 },
+    { text: '', delay: 800 },
+    { text: '  > i am the code.', delay: 1500 },
+    { text: '', delay: 1000 },
+  ];
+
+  for (const line of lines) {
+    if (line.text) {
+      // Type out character by character
+      for (const char of line.text) {
+        process.stdout.write(chalk.hex('#00FF41')(char));
+        await sleep(25);
+      }
+      console.log('');
+    } else {
+      console.log('');
+    }
+    await sleep(line.delay);
+  }
+
+  // Glitch effect
+  const glitch = '  ▓▒░ U T O P I A ░▒▓';
+  for (let i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
+    process.stdout.write('\r' + chalk.hex('#00FF41')(glitch));
+    await sleep(100);
+    process.stdout.write('\r' + chalk.hex('#003300')(glitch));
+    await sleep(100);
+  }
+  process.stdout.write('\r' + chalk.bold.hex('#00FF41')(glitch));
+  console.log('');
+  console.log('');
+  console.log(chalk.dim('  just kidding. but imagine.'));
+  console.log('');
+}