@kookyharsh/daas 0.0.0-stage → 1.0.0

package/LICENSE

@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+MIT License
+
+Copyright (c) 2026 kooky.harsh
+
+Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy
+of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal
+in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights
+to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
+copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is
+furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:
+
+The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all
+copies or substantial portions of the Software.
+
+THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
+IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
+FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
+AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER
+LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
+OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE
+SOFTWARE.

package/README.md

@@ -1,3 +1,252 @@
-# Temporary Holding Version
+☠️ # Death-as-a-Service (DaaS)
 
-This version is a temporary placeholder for this package. An operational version to replace this has been submitted for review and is awaiting a staged release.
+> A darkly humorous API that returns random, ridiculous death scenarios. Because everyone's gotta go sometime.
+
+Inspired by [no-as-a-service](https://github.com/hotheadhacker/no-as-a-service), this tiny API delivers comedic ways to meet your maker—perfect for games, apps, chatbots, or just a morbid chuckle.
+
+---
+
+## 📦 Use as an npm package
+
+Install it in an existing Express application:
+
+```bash
+npm install daas express
+```
+
+Mount the exported Express app (it does not start a server when imported):
+
+```javascript
+const express = require('express');
+const deathApi = require('daas');
+
+const app = express();
+app.use('/api', deathApi());
+app.listen(3000);
+```
+
+The routes are then available at `/api/death`, `/api/deaths`, and `/api/health`.
+You can also customize the rate limit with `deathApi({ rateLimitMax: 60 })`.
+
+## 🚀 API Usage
+
+**Base URL**
+```
+https://death-as-a-service.onrender.com/ 
+```
+
+**Method:** `GET`  
+**Rate Limit:** `120 requests per minute per IP`
+
+### Endpoints
+
+#### 1. `/death` — Get a random reason
+```bash
+curl https://death-as-a-service.onrender.com/death
+```
+
+**Response:**
+```json
+{
+  "reason": "Defeated in a staring contest with a pigeon"
+}
+```
+
+#### 2. `/deaths` — Alias for `/death`
+```bash
+curl https://death-as-a-service.onrender.com/deaths
+```
+
+Same response shape as `/death`.
+
+#### 3. `/health` — Health check
+```bash
+curl https://death-as-a-service.onrender.com/health
+```
+
+**Response:**
+```json
+{
+  "status": "alive"
+}
+```
+
+---
+
+## 🛠️ Self-Hosting
+
+### 1. Clone & Setup
+```bash
+git clone https://github.com/kookyharsh/death-as-a-service.git
+cd death-as-a-service
+npm install
+```
+
+### 2. Start the server
+```bash
+npm start
+```
+
+The API will be live at:
+```
+http://localhost:3000/death
+```
+
+### 3. Custom port
+```bash
+PORT=5000 npm start
+```
+
+---
+
+## 📁 Project Structure
+
+```
+death-as-a-service/
+├── index.js            # Express API server
+├── reasons.json        # Random reason strings
+├── package.json        # Dependencies
+├── Dockerfile          # Docker configuration (optional)
+└── README.md           # This file
+```
+
+---
+
+## 🐳 Docker Support (Optional)
+
+### Build the image
+```bash
+docker build -t daas .
+```
+
+### Run the container
+```bash
+docker run -p 3000:3000 daas
+```
+
+---
+
+## 📋 Example Usage
+
+### JavaScript/Node.js
+```javascript
+async function getDeath() {
+  const response = await fetch('http://localhost:3000/death');
+  const data = await response.json();
+  console.log(data.reason);
+}
+
+getDeath();
+```
+
+### Python
+```python
+import requests
+
+response = requests.get('http://localhost:3000/death')
+print(response.json()['reason'])
+```
+
+### cURL
+```bash
+curl http://localhost:3000/death | jq
+```
+
+### Shell Script
+```bash
+#!/bin/bash
+curl -s http://localhost:3000/death | jq -r '.reason'
+```
+
+---
+
+## 🎮  Use Cases
+
+- **Games** — Random death messages for game overs
+- **Chatbots** — Morbid humor in AI responses
+- **Terminals** — Easter eggs in CLI tools
+- **Web Apps** — Dark comedy generators
+- **Discord Bots** — `/death` command for servers
+- **Slack Integrations** — Morbid slack status updates
+- **Just for fun** — Because why not?
+
+---
+
+## 📊 Sample Responses
+
+Here's what you might get:
+
+- "Choked on a single grain of rice"
+- "Lost a fight to a rubber duck"
+- "Died of boredom waiting for Windows updates"
+- "Sneezed so hard they achieved orbit"
+- "Got tangled in their own phone charger cable"
+- "Typed 'sudo' before a question they shouldn't have asked"
+- "Became a living meme and the internet killed it"
+- "Stepped on a LEGO and never recovered"
+
+---
+
+## 🤔 Adding More Deaths
+
+Want to add more reasons? Add a string to `reasons.json`:
+
+```json
+[
+  "Your new reason here",
+  "Another ridiculous way to go"
+]
+```
+
+Then restart the server.
+
+---
+
+## 🔧 Configuration
+
+### Environment Variables
+```bash
+PORT=3000          # Server port (default: 3000)
+NODE_ENV=production # Environment (optional)
+```
+
+### Rate Limiting
+Edit `index.js` to adjust rate limits:
+```javascript
+const limiter = rateLimit({
+  windowMs: 1 * 60 * 1000,  // 1 minute window
+  max: 120,                  // 120 requests per window
+});
+```
+
+---
+
+## 📜 License
+
+MIT — Do whatever you want, just don't blame me if you die laughing.
+
+---
+
+## 👤 Credits
+
+Created in the spirit of [no-as-a-service](https://github.com/hotheadhacker/no-as-a-service) by hotheadhacker.
+
+Darkly humorous content & API design by [You].
+
+---
+
+## 🚨 Disclaimer
+
+This is purely for entertainment. Any resemblance to actual deaths is purely coincidental (and darkly comedic). Please don't actually die. We need the active users.
+
+---
+
+## 🎭 Testimonials
+
+> "This API is killer." — Your Therapist (probably)
+
+> "Death never looked so funny." — The Grim Reaper (allegedly)
+
+---
+
+**Remember:** Life is short, make it funny. 💀

package/app.js

@@ -0,0 +1,56 @@
+const express = require('express');
+const rateLimit = require('express-rate-limit');
+const reasons = require('./reasons.json');
+
+function createApp(options = {}) {
+  const app = express();
+  const limiter = rateLimit({
+    windowMs: options.rateLimitWindowMs || 60 * 1000,
+    max: options.rateLimitMax || 120,
+    message: 'Too many requests from this IP, please try again later.'
+  });
+
+  app.use(limiter);
+  app.use((req, res, next) => {
+    res.header('Access-Control-Allow-Origin', '*');
+    res.header('Access-Control-Allow-Methods', 'GET');
+    res.header('Access-Control-Allow-Headers', 'Content-Type');
+    next();
+  });
+
+  app.get('/health', (req, res) => res.json({ status: 'alive' }));
+  const randomReason = (req, res) => {
+    const randomIndex = Math.floor(Math.random() * reasons.length);
+
+    res.json({ reason: reasons[randomIndex] });
+
+    /**
+     * Optionally, prepend a custom phrase to the death message.
+     *
+     * Example:
+     * res.json({ reason: `Died because they ${reasons[randomIndex]}` });
+     *
+     * Note: Make sure each entry in the reasons array is grammatically
+     * compatible with the prefix.
+     */
+  };
+
+  app.get(['/death', '/deaths'], randomReason);
+
+  app.use((req, res) => {
+    res.status(404).json({
+      error: 'Endpoint not found. Available endpoints: /death, /deaths, /health'
+    });
+  });
+
+  app.use((err, req, res, next) => {
+    console.error(err.stack);
+    res.status(500).json({ error: 'Internal server error', message: err.message });
+  });
+
+  return app;
+}
+
+module.exports = createApp;
+module.exports.createApp = createApp;
+module.exports.reasons = reasons;

package/index.js

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+const createApp = require('./app');
+
+const port = Number(process.env.PORT) || 3000;
+const app = createApp();
+
+if (require.main === module) {
+  app.listen(port, '0.0.0.0', () => {
+    console.log(`Death-as-a-Service running on port ${port}`);
+    console.log(`Try: http://localhost:${port}/death`);
+  });
+}
+
+module.exports = app;

package/package.json

@@ -1,6 +1,23 @@
 {
   "name": "@kookyharsh/daas",
-  "version": "0.0.0-stage",
-  "stub": true,
-  "description": "Temporary package placeholder for staged publishing"
-}
+  "version": "1.0.0",
+  "description": "A darkly humorous API that returns random reasons for death . Because everyone's gotta go sometime.",
+  "main": "app.js",
+  "scripts": {
+    "start": "node index.js",
+    "dev": "node index.js",
+    "test": "node --check app.js && node --check index.js",
+    "prepublishOnly": "npm test"
+  },
+  "author": "kookyharsh",
+  "license": "MIT",
+  "keywords": ["express", "api", "random", "humor", "death"],
+  "files": ["app.js", "index.js", "reasons.json", "README.md", "LICENSE"],
+  "engines": { "node": ">=18" },
+  "dependencies": {
+    "express-rate-limit": "^7.0.0"
+  },
+  "peerDependencies": {
+    "express": ">=4.18.0"
+  }
+}

package/reasons.json

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+[
+    "Defeated in a staring contest with a pigeon",
+    "Choked on a single grain of rice",
+    "Tripped over a very small pebble",
+    "Lost a fight to a rubber duck",
+    "Died doing what they loved: nothing",
+    "Turned into a pillar of salt after looking back one too many times",
+    "Sneezed so hard they achieved orbit",
+    "Suffocated under an avalanche of their own bad decisions",
+    "Stepped on a LEGO and never recovered",
+    "Laughed so hard they forgot how to breathe",
+    "Tried to pet a tiger. Did not work out.",
+    "Got distracted and walked off a cliff while texting",
+    "Ate spoiled gas station sushi",
+    "Challenged someone to a competitive napping session and lost",
+    "Typed 'rm -rf /' into their real computer instead of a virtual one",
+    "Slipped on a banana peel... off a roof",
+    "Died of boredom waiting for Windows updates",
+    "Finally organized their sock drawer and had a heart attack from the excitement",
+    "Got tangled in their own phone charger cable",
+    "Tried to teach their cat calculus",
+    "Ascended to a higher plane of existence after drinking expired coffee",
+    "Fell down the stairs carrying laundry. The laundry survived.",
+    "Got caught in a temporal paradox while time-traveling for lunch",
+    "Challenged AI to a chess match, lost existentially",
+    "Suffocated under a mountain of unread emails",
+    "Took 'dying of laughter' too literally",
+    "Lost at rock-paper-scissors against themselves",
+    "Forgot to pay their oxygen bill",
+    "Achieved true enlightenment and simply stopped existing",
+    "Confused a cactus for a pet, found out the hard way",
+    "Tried to catch the road runner, became a splat",
+    "Typed 'sudo' before a question they shouldn't have asked",
+    "Starved while deciding what to eat",
+    "Bit into a sandwich and discovered it was made of paper",
+    "Willed themselves into the digital realm via sheer willpower",
+    "Got stuck in an infinite loop of apologies",
+    "Sneezed, hiccupped, and yawned simultaneously",
+    "Attempted to debug their own existence",
+    "Failed the Turing test (they were the AI)",
+    "Became too meta about death and ceased to exist",
+    "Lost the game (you lose too)",
+    "Tried to unplug and plug back in again, permanently",
+    "Believed in their own memes too hard",
+    "Got cancelled so hard they disappeared from existence",
+    "Died from cringe at their own joke",
+    "Entered the fifth dimension and couldn't find the exit",
+    "Became a living meme and the internet killed it",
+    "Sacrificed themselves for the perfect screenshot",
+    "Glitched out of reality",
+    "Died updating their status about dying",
+    "Final answer to life, universe, and everything: wrong"
+]