zetabot 0.0.1

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/darkscience.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,215 @@
+require 'uri'
+require 'net/http'
+require 'ostruct'
+require 'action_view'
+
+module Plugins
+  class DarkScience
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+    include Cinch::Helpers
+    include ActionView::Helpers::DateHelper
+
+    enable_acl(:nobody)
+
+    self.plugin_name = 'DarkScience API'
+    self.help = '?finger <nick>, ?peek <#channel>, ?stats <nick>, ?quote, ?addquote <quote>, ?quote <id>'
+
+    # Triggers
+    match /peek (.+)/, method: :peek
+    match /finger (.+)/, method: :finger
+    match /stats (.+)/, method: :stats
+    match /addquote (.+)/i, method: :addquote
+    match /quote (.+)/i, method: :quote
+    match 'quote', method: :randomquote
+
+
+    # Methods
+    #########
+    def peek(msg, channel)
+      chan = channel || msg.user.channel
+
+      # JSON Request
+      begin
+        RestClient.proxy = ENV['http_proxy']
+        data = JSON.parse(
+            RestClient.post(
+                'https://darchoods.net/api/irc/channel/view',
+                {
+                  auth_token: Config.secrets[:darkscience],
+                  channel: chan,
+                }
+            )
+        )
+      rescue RestClient::Unauthorized
+        msg.action_reply "isn't currently authorized to do that"
+      end
+
+      # Turn JSON into an object
+      request = Hashie::Mash.new(data)
+
+      # Error Code replies
+      return msg.reply("Peek → #{request.message}") if request.status_code == 500
+      return msg.reply('Peek → Service Down') if request.status_code != 200
+      return msg.reply('Peek → Channel Not Found') if request.data.channel.empty?
+
+      msg.reply "Peek → #{request.data.channel.name} (#{request.data.channel.modes}) ~ " \
+                "Users: #{request.data.channel.stats.current_users} (#{request.data.channel.stats.peak_users}x̄) ~ " \
+                "Last Topic set by #{request.data.channel.topic.author} @ #{Time.at(request.data.channel.topic.time).strftime("%D")}"
+    end
+
+
+    def finger(msg, nickname)
+      nick = nickname || msg.user.nick
+
+      # JSON request
+      begin
+        RestClient.proxy = ENV['http_proxy']
+        data = JSON.parse(
+            RestClient.post(
+                'https://darchoods.net/api/irc/user/view',
+                {
+                  auth_token: Config.secrets[:darkscience],
+                  username: nick,
+                }
+            )
+        )
+      rescue RestClient::Unauthorized
+        msg.action_reply "isn't currently authorized to do that"
+      end
+
+      # Turn JSON into an object
+      # request = Hashie::Mash.new(data)
+
+
+      # Error code replies
+      return msg.reply('Finger → User Not Found') if data['data']['user'].empty?
+      return msg.reply('Finger → Service Down') if data['status_code'] != 200
+
+      user = data['data']['user']
+      stats = data['data']['stats']
+      away_msg = data['data']['user']['away_msg'] || "No Message"
+      online_last = data['data']['user']['online_last'] || 0
+
+      msg.reply "Finger → #{user['userstring']} ~ " \
+                "#{user['identified'] ? 'Identified' : 'Not Identified'} ~ " \
+                "Currently in #{stats['channel_count']} channels  ~ " \
+                "Seen #{user['online'] ? 'Now' : time_ago_in_words(Time.at(online_last))+ " ago"}  ~ " \
+                "Geo: #{user['country']} ~ " \
+                "#{user['away'] ? 'Away: ' + away_msg : 'Available' } ~ " \
+                "Client: #{user['version']} ~ "
+    end
+
+
+    def stats(msg, nickname)
+      nick = nickname || msg.user.nick
+
+      # JSON request
+      begin
+        data = JSON.parse(
+            RestClient.post(
+                'https://darchoods.net/api/irc/user/view',
+                {
+                  auth_token: Config.secrets[:darkscience],
+                  username: nick,
+                }
+            )
+        )
+      rescue RestClient::Unauthorized
+        msg.action_reply "isn't currently authorized to do that"
+      end
+
+      # Turn JSON into an object
+      # request = Hashie::Mash.new(data)
+
+
+      # Error code replies
+      return msg.reply('Statistics → User Not Found') if data['data']['user'].empty?
+      return msg.reply('Statistics → Service Down') if data['status_code'] != 200
+
+      user = data['data']['user']
+      stats = data['data']['stats']
+
+      msg.reply "Statistics → #{user['nick']} ~ " \
+                "Currently in #{stats['channel_count']} ~ " \
+                "Owner of #{stats['mode_counts']['q']} channels ~ " \
+                "Admin of #{stats['mode_counts']['a']} channels ~ " \
+                "Operator(halfop) of #{stats['mode_counts']['o']}(#{stats['mode_counts']['h']}) channels ~ " \
+                "and finally voiced in #{stats['mode_counts']['v']} channels"
+
+    end
+
+    def addquote(m, quote)
+      begin
+        request = JSON.parse(
+            RestClient.post(
+                'https://darchoods.net/api/qdb/create',
+                {
+                  auth_token: Config.secrets[:darkscience],
+                  channel: m.channel,
+                  author: m.user,
+                  quote: quote
+                }
+            )
+        )
+        quote = Hashie::Mash.new(request)
+
+        m.reply "Quote ##{quote.data.quote.quote_id} added by #{m.user}!"
+      rescue RestClient::Unauthorized
+        m.action_reply "isn't currently authorized to do that"
+      rescue
+        m.reply 'QDB is unavailable right now'
+      end
+    end
+
+    def quote(m, search)
+      begin
+        request = JSON.parse(
+            RestClient.post(
+                'https://darchoods.net/api/qdb/search/byId',
+                {
+                  auth_token: Config.secrets[:darkscience],
+                  channel: m.channel,
+                  quote_id: search
+                }
+            )
+        )
+        quote = Hashie::Mash.new(request)
+
+        return m.reply 'There is no quote by that ID' unless quote.data.quote
+
+        m.reply "QDB##{quote.data.quote.quote_id}: #{quote.data.quote.content}"
+      rescue RestClient::Unauthorized
+        m.action_reply "isn't currently authorized to do that"
+      rescue
+        m.reply "QDB is unavailable right now"
+      end
+
+    end
+
+    def randomquote(m)
+      begin
+        request = JSON.parse(
+            RestClient.post(
+                'https://darchoods.net/api/qdb/random',
+                { auth_token: Config.secrets[:darkscience],
+                  channel: m.channel
+                }
+            )
+        )
+        quote = Hashie::Mash.new(request)
+
+        m.reply "QDB##{quote.data.quote.quote_id}: #{quote.data.quote.content}"
+      rescue RestClient::Unauthorized
+        m.action_reply "isn't currently authorized to do that"
+      rescue
+        m.reply "QDB is unavailable right now"
+      end
+
+    end
+
+
+  end
+end
+
+# AutoLoad
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::DarkScience

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/dbz.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+module Plugins
+  class DBZ
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+    include Cinch::Helpers
+
+    enable_acl
+
+    self.plugin_name = 'DragonBall Z!'
+    self.help = "It's Over Nine Thousand!"
+
+    # Regex
+    match /(^9000$|overninethousand|ninethousand|Over\ Nine\ Thousand|Over\ 9000)/,
+          use_prefix: false, method: :randomquote
+
+    # Initialization
+    def initialize(*args)
+      @sample = load_locale('dbz')
+      super
+    end
+
+    # Methods
+    def randomquote(msg)
+      msg.reply @sample['over9k'].sample
+    end
+
+  end
+
+end
+
+# AutoLoad
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::DBZ

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/dcc.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+# module Plugins
+#   class DCC
+#     include Cinch::Plugin
+#     set(
+#         plugin_name: "DCC",
+#         help: "Darkscience Code Contest.\nUsage: `~nick [channel]`;",
+#         prefix: /^!/
+#     )
+#     match /dcc/, method: :dcc
+#     match /dcc list/, method: :dcc_list
+#
+#     def dcc
+#
+#     end
+#
+#    private
+#     def github()
+#       github = Github.new oauth_token: Zsec.keys.github
+#     end
+#
+#   end
+# end
+#
+# # AutoLoad
+# Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::DCC

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/dnsbl.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
+require 'dnsbl/client'
+
+module Plugins
+  class DNSBL
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+    include Cinch::Helpers
+
+    enable_acl
+
+    self.plugin_name = 'DNS Blacklist'
+    self.help = '?dnsbl <host>'
+
+    # Regex
+    match /dnsbl (.+)/, method: :dnsbl_lookup
+    match /blacklist (.+)/, method: :dnsbl_lookup
+
+    # Methods
+    def dnsbl_lookup(m, host)
+      client = DNSBL::Client.new
+      query = client.lookup(host.rstrip)
+
+      if query.empty?
+        m.reply "No Results Found (#{host})"
+      elsif query.last.dnsbl == 'URIBL' && query.last.meaning == '127.0.0.1'
+        m.reply "No Results Found (#{host})"
+      else
+        m.reply "Listed ⁘ #{host} ⁜ #{query.last.meaning} ⁜ Hits: #{query.count}"
+      end
+    end
+
+  end
+
+end
+
+# AutoLoad
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::DNSBL

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/echo.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+module Plugins
+  class Echo
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+
+    enable_acl(:voice)
+
+    match /echo (.+)/, method: :echoed
+
+    def echoed(m,s)
+      m.reply s
+    end
+
+  end
+end
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::Echo

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/eightball.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+module Plugins
+  class Eightball
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+    include Cinch::Helpers
+
+    enable_acl
+
+    set(
+        plugin_name: "8ball",
+        help:     "The Magic 8ball has all the answers!\nUsage: `?8ball [question? <question? <...>>]`",
+        react_on: :channel)
+
+    # Variables
+    @@eightball = [
+        "It is certain",
+        "It is decidedly so",
+        "Without a doubt",
+        "Yes - definitely",
+        "You may rely on it",
+        "As I see it, yes",
+        "Most likely",
+        "Outlook good",
+        "Signs point to yes",
+        "Yes",
+        "Reply hazy, try again",
+        "Ask again later",
+        "Better not tell you now",
+        "Cannot predict now",
+        "Concentrate and ask again",
+        "Don't count on it",
+        "My reply is no",
+        "My sources say no",
+        "Outlook not so good",
+        "Very doubtful"
+    ]
+
+    # Regex
+    match /8ball (.+)/
+
+    # Methods
+    def shake!
+      @@eightball.sample
+    end
+
+    def execute(m, s)
+      m.safe_reply @@eightball.sample, true
+    end
+
+  end
+end
+
+# AutoLoad
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::Eightball

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/fml.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+# This plugin is brought to you by aburdette/cinch-fmylife
+# Thank You!
+
+module Plugins
+  class Fml
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+    include Cinch::Helpers
+
+    enable_acl(:nobody)
+
+    set(
+        plugin_name: "FuckMyLife",
+        help: "Get a random FML.\nUsage: `?fml`",
+    )
+
+    match /fml/
+
+    def execute(m)
+      m.reply fetch_random_fml, true
+    end
+
+    private
+    def fetch_random_fml
+      url = 'http://www.fmylife.com/random'
+      # fml_story = Nokogiri.HTML(RestClient.get(url)).at('div.article').text.strip
+      fml_story = Nokogiri.HTML(open(url).read).at('div.article').text.strip
+      fml_story[/^Today, (.+) FML/]
+    rescue => e
+      e.message
+    end
+  end
+end
+
+# AutoLoad
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::Fml

data/lib/Zeta/plugins/fnord.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,329 @@
+require 'cinch'
+require 'chronic'
+
+module Plugins
+  class Fnord
+    include Cinch::Plugin
+    include Cinch::Helpers
+    enable_acl
+
+    @help="fnord: ?fnord - Creates a fnord"
+    @plugin_name="fnord"
+    ADJECTIVES =
+        ["23rd", "acceptable", "acrobatic", "alien", "amiable",
+         "amoeboid", "ancient", "arbitrary", "atomic", "avenging",
+         "awesome", "balanced", "besotted", "best", "black", "blue",
+         "calculating", "cast iron", "cat-like", "cautious", "Chinese",
+         "cold", "communist", "corrupt", "dead", "deadly", "dehydrated",
+         "disguised", "dizzy", "drug-crazed", "drunken", "easy",
+         "electric", "embossed", "enormous", "expensive", "explosive",
+         "extraterrestrial", "ferocious", "frozen", "furry", "gelatinous",
+         "glowing", "gnarly", "gold", "granular", "greedy", "green",
+         "high", "highest", "hot", "humming", "illuminated", "imitation",
+         "impotent", "impudent", "impulsive", "indictable", "innocent",
+         "insane", "Japanese", "lecherous", "lizard-like", "lovely",
+         "maniacal", "mauve", "medium-sized", "morbid", "most influential",
+         "mutant", "naughty", "nuclear", "oily", "oozing", "opaque",
+         "opulent", "orbital", "persuasive", "pickled", "poor",
+         "pregnant", "protozoan", "puce", "pulsating", "purple",
+         "putrid", "radical", "radioactive", "red", "reformed",
+         "reincarnated", "rubber", "Russian", "screaming", "sexy",
+         "shiftless", "shifty", "Siamese", "silver", "sin-ridden",
+         "sinister", "sizzling", "skeptical", "slack-producing",
+         "sleeping", "slick", "slime-dripping", "slimy", "slippery",
+         "sluggish", "smoking", "solid gold", "splendid", "squamous",
+         "stoned", "sweet", "temporary", "throbbing", "tin-plated",
+         "tiny", "transient", "treacherous", "tubular", "ugly",
+         "untouchable", "user-friendly", "user-serviceable", "vacant",
+         "vacillating", "vampiric", "vibrant", "virginal", "vivid",
+         "wealthy", "well-dressed", "white", "wimpy", "worthless",
+         "young", "illegal", "tax-free", "drugged", "polluted",
+         "flaming", "diseased", "agnostic", "anorexic", "conquering",
+         "cosmic", "dancing", "dyslexic", "frenzied", "lumpy", "musical",
+         "plump", "perfectly ordinary", "French", "Martian",
+         "beautiful", "broken", "corruscating", "enhanced", "frightening",
+         "horrific", "mythical", "rugose", "upgraded"]
+
+    NAMES =
+        ["007", "a dead relative", "a long-lost uncle", "a dead rock star",
+         "Abdul Al-Azrad", "Abraham Lincoln", "Bill Gates",
+         "Albert Einstein", "Ali Baba", "Aladdin",
+         "Batman", "Blackrat", "Blackrat Prime", "Buck Rogers",
+         "Bullwinkle", "Captain Ahab", "Captain America", "Captain Kirk",
+         "Captain Nemo", "Charlie Brown", "Cthulhu", "Dilbert",
+         "Darth Vader", "Dave Letterman", "Uncle Bob",
+         "Dracula", "Elvis",
+         "Erik Bloodaxe", "Evil Stevie", "Fearless Leader",
+         "Flaming Carrot",
+         "George Lucas", "Gerald Ford",
+         "Gandhi", "Grandmother", "Gumby", "Hamlet",
+         "Han Solo", "Hitler", "Hulk Hogan",
+         "Hunter S. Thompson", "Internal Security",
+         "Isaac Asimov", "Jack the Ripper",
+         "Jimmy Carter", "Johnny-B-Gud",
+         "Joseph Stalin", "King Arthur", "King Tut",
+         "Lex Luthor", "Luke Skywalker",
+         "Michael Jordan", "Mick Jagger",
+         "Mr. Bill", "Mr. Ed", "Mr. Science",
+         "Mr. Spock", "Nelson Mandela", "Nixon",
+         "Norman Bates", "Obi-Wan Kenobi", "Oliver North",
+         "Paul Newman", "Perry Mason", "Princess Leia",
+         "Rambo", "Ringo", "Robby the Robot",
+         "Robert Heinlein", "Rocky", "Roger Rabbit", "Ronald Reagan",
+         "Scrooge", "Sir Lancelot", "Snoopy",
+         "Spiderman", "Squad 23", "Steve", "Steven Spielberg", "Superman",
+         "the A.C.L.U.", "The Computer", "the Discordian", "Sir Paul",
+         "the Hand", "The Illuminati", "the Joker", "the Legion of Doom",
+         "the ninja",
+         "the Secret Master",
+         "the Secret Service", "the vice squad", "Thor",
+         "Tiny Tim", "Tweety-Bird", "Uncle Duke", "Weird Al",
+         "Winston Churchill", "yo' mama", "your brother",
+         "your evil twin", "your father", "your mother", "your sister",
+         "Zaphod Beeblebrox", "Zeus", "Zonker", "Donovan's Brain",
+         "Jimmy Hoffa", "Tristero", "the Archdean", "Asmodeus",
+         "Archangel Gabriel", "Al-Qaeda", "Angel", "Arnold Schwarzenegger",
+         "Barry Bonds", "Bill Clinton", "Bill O'Reilly", "Britney Spears",
+         "Bud Selig", "Buffy", "Captain Archer", "Condoleeza Rice",
+         "Dick Cheney", "Harry Potter", "Harvey Birdman", "Hillary Clinton",
+         "Jacques Chirac", "Jay Leno", "Joe Montana", "John Ashcroft",
+         "Jon Stewart", "Karl Rove", "LeBron James", "Neo",
+         "Osama bin-Laden", "Peter Jackson", "President Bartlett",
+         "President Bush", "Saddam Hussein", "Sponge Bob Square Pants",
+         "T'Pol", "Tony Blair", "the American Idol", "the Bachelor",
+         "the Bachelorette", "the Crocodile Hunter", "the Dixie Chicks",
+         "the Powerpuff Girls"
+        ]
+
+    PLACES= ["(not available at your clearance)", "Afghanistan",
+             "Alpha Centauri",
+             "Alpha Complex", "Atlantis", "Austin", "Baghdad", "Berkeley", "Berlin",
+             "Buckingham Palace", "Callahan's Place", "Cheyenne Mountain",
+             "Chicago", "Cyberworld", "Dallas", "Death Valley", "Dime Box",
+             "Endsville", "Gasoline Alley", "Gotham City", "headquarters", "Hell",
+             "Hollywood", "Hong Kong", "Iran", "Iraq", "Israel",
+             "Joe's Bar and Grill", "Kabul", "Katmandu", "Lake Geneva", "Las Vegas",
+             "left field", "Lithuania", "London", "Los Angeles", "Main Street",
+             "Mars", "Middle-earth", "Mission Control", "Mordor", "Moscow",
+             "Munich", "my back yard", "Peking", "Poland",
+             "San Francisco", "Siberia", "Sixth Street", "SJ Games",
+             "Switzerland", "Tel Aviv", "the back forty", "the Bastille",
+             "the bathroom", "the best place possible", "the brewery",
+             "the Bat Cave", "the corner bar", "the dentists' convention",
+             "the doghouse", "the dumpster", "the editorial department",
+             "the Empire State Building", "the hackers' convention",
+             "the home of a trusted friend", "the Hotel California",
+             "the Last National Bank", "the North Pole", "the ocean",
+             "the outback", "the Phoenix Project", "the river",
+             "the same place as before", "the service station", "the South Pole",
+             "the Super Bowl", "the tavern", "the toxic waste dump",
+             "the U.S. Attorney's Office", "the Vatican", "the Watergate Hotel",
+             "the White House", "Toledo", "Topeka", "Uranus", "Wall Street",
+             "you-know-where", "your place", "Yrth", "the Death Star",
+             "beautiful downtown Burbank", "Smallville", "the Shire"]
+
+    PREPOSITIONS=
+        ["assumes responsibility for", "avoids servants of",
+         "deals with", "elopes with", "evades agents of", "flees from",
+         "flees to", "flies to", "flies toward", "goes for", "goes to",
+         "has finished in", "has left with", "hides in", "is attacked by",
+         "is commanded by", "is concerned about", "is contaminated by",
+         "is destroyed by", "is distressed by", "is financed by",
+         "is fondled by", "is found by", "is imitated by", "is infiltrated by",
+         "is joined by", "is like a god to", "is removed by",
+         "is the patron of", "is threatened by", "listens to", "makes fun of",
+         "may not visit", "moves to", "originates from", "reports to",
+         "retreats from", "returns to", "shoots henchmen of",
+         "should watch for", "steals from", "takes blame for",
+         "takes control of", "takes no notice of", "takes refuge in",
+         "travels to", "walks to", "was eliminated by", "was seen in",
+         "will go to", "withdraws from", "assumed responsibility for",
+         "avoided servants of", "has dealt with", "eloped with",
+         "evaded agents of", "fled from", "fled to", "flew to",
+         "flew toward", "has gone for", "went to", "hides in",
+         "was attacked by", "was commanded by", "was concerned about",
+         "was contaminated by", "was destroyed by", "was distressed by",
+         "was financed by", "was fondled by", "was found by",
+         "was imitated by", "was infiltrated by", "was joined by",
+         "was removed by", "was the patron of", "was threatened by",
+         "listened to", "made fun of", "moved to", "originated from",
+         "reported to", "retreated from", "returned to", "shot henchmen of",
+         "watched for", "stole from", "took blame for", "took control of",
+         "took no notice of", "took refuge in", "traveled to",
+         "walked to", "withdrew from", "plays with", "played with",
+         "is assassinated by", "was assassinated by", "is boggled by",
+         "was boggled by", "performs surgical alternations on"]
+
+    ACTIONS=
+        ["amuses", "avoids", "berates", "boggles", "bothers",
+         "buries", "catches", "commands", "contaminates", "controls",
+         "converts", "delivers", "destroys", "disfigures", "eats", "enters",
+         "fondles", "handles", "harasses", "hassles", "helps",
+         "imitates", "infiltrates", "inherits", "joins", "kills", "leaves",
+         "massages", "molests", "persuades", "perverts", "pitches",
+         "rebuilds", "reinforces", "removes", "replaces", "resurrects",
+         "saves", "serves", "spanks", "squeezes", "strokes", "subverts",
+         "swallows", "swats", "torments", "tortures", "transforms",
+         "whips", "teases", "stomps", "mates with", "tickles", "audits",
+         "beats", "defeats", "outwits", "manipulates", "defects to",
+         "titillates", "perverts", "defenestrates", "discards",
+         "abandons", "talks to", "talks back to", "allies with",
+         "discovers", "betrays", "assassinates", "promotes",
+         "pretends to be", "disguises", "disobeys", "alters",
+         "intimidates"]
+
+    PRONOUNS= ["his", "my", "our", "the", "your"]
+
+    INTROS=
+        ["4 out of 5 dentists recommend that", "Abort immediately unless",
+         "Abort previous sequence.", "Advance code sequence.",
+         "Alert all stations!", "Confirmed report:",
+         "Contrary to popular belief,", "Delete all evidence that",
+         "Determine whether", "E.F. Hutton says", "Effective immediately,",
+         "Enemy agents now know that", "Fnord!", "Follow plan x if",
+         "Ignore previous message.", "Ignore this message.", "Imperative that",
+         "It appears that", "It is not true that",
+         "Most people surveyed believe that", "Observe and report if",
+         "Oral Roberts dreamed that", "Our foes believe that",
+         "Our reporters claim that", "Pentagon officials deny that",
+         "Please investigate report that", "Step up operation.",
+         "Terminate operation if", "The surgeon general warns that",
+         "Unsubstantiated rumor:", "Urgent!", "Usual sources confirm that",
+         "Warning!", "We suspect that"]
+
+    NOUNS=
+        ["911 file", "(censored)", "amethyst",
+         "amulet", "ash tray", "baby", "BBS", "beer bottle", "blueprint",
+         "boat", "book", "bowling ball", "business card", "button", "cable",
+         "cactus", "cannibal", "capsule", "carnation", "cash", "cat",
+         "cauliflower", "chainsaw", "chair", "chicken", "club", "cockroach",
+         "code wheel", "coke can", "compact disc", "computer", "cork",
+         "couch", "cow", "crystal", "cummerbund",
+         "cyberdeck", "demon", "devil", "diamond", "dictaphone", "dictator",
+         "dinosaur", "disk drive", "document", "dragon", "drug", "duck",
+         "elephant", "engine", "eye", "file", "flag", "floppy disk",
+         "fly", "football", "frame", "frog", "geographer", "goldfish",
+         "grasshopper", "grimoire", "gyroslugger", "hammer", "hat",
+         "hat-rack", "helmet", "hemisphere", "hot tub", "hypodermic",
+         "ice cream", "ID card", "iguana", "implement", "infant", "insect",
+         "jellybean", "jet", "jet ski", "jukebox", "kitten", "Klingon",
+         "krugerrand", "kumquat", "lamp", "light bulb", "machine gun",
+         "mallet", "manuscript", "mason jar", "message", "mosquito",
+         "motorcycle", "mouse", "oar", "octopus", "olive", "ostrich",
+         "paddle", "paintbrush", "paper clip", "passport", "password file",
+         "password", "pendant", "penguin", "petunia", "phased plasma rifle",
+         "phone", "photocopy", "piranha", "pistol", "pit viper", "plant",
+         "playtester", "pop tart", "power drill", "ptarmigan", "pterodactyl",
+         "puppy", "pyramid", "racquetball", "radio", "railroad", "razor",
+         "rescuer", "ring", "rom chip", "saber", "saxophone", "scenario",
+         "scraper", "screwdriver", "scuba mask", "sculpture", "sex toy",
+         "shark", "shoggoth", "skateboard", "ski lift", "skillet",
+         "spark plug", "spider", "submarine", "surfboard", "sword",
+         "teddy bear", "telegram", "television", "tennis ball", "termite",
+         "textbook", "toast", "tornado", "traitor", "transmitter",
+         "treasure chest", "tree", "trolley", "trumpet", "typewriter",
+         "user's manual", "Uzi", "van", "virus", "volleyball", "wand",
+         "wheel", "whip", "yak", "Zulu", "INWO deck", "ukelele", "icon",
+         "amphibian", "toad", "terminal", "additive", "piccolo", "tuba",
+         "angel", "demon", "CD-ROM", "DVD", "Deep One", "Handheld", "MP3",
+         "Segway", "dog", "iMac", "laptop", "nanite"]
+
+    class Fnord
+      #Parts of speech functions to return a random word from the arrays and return it if chance==0
+      #or if a random integer between 0 and chance-1 equals 0. The (chance==0) check is to optimize
+      #by preventing the rand(chance) call when not required. So for a 1 in 7 chance call with chance=7.
+      def self.adjective(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? ADJECTIVES[rand(ADJECTIVES.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.name(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? NAMES[rand(NAMES.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.place(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? PLACES[rand(PLACES.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.in_place(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? "in #{place}" : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.preposition(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? PREPOSITIONS[rand(PREPOSITIONS.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.action(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? ACTIONS[rand(ACTIONS.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.pronoun(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? PRONOUNS[rand(PRONOUNS.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.intro(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? INTROS[rand(INTROS.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.noun(chance=0)
+        (chance==0 or rand(chance)<1) ? NOUNS[rand(NOUNS.length)] : ""
+      end
+
+      def self.headline
+        number=rand(14)
+        msg=case number #Return a generated Fnord as a string
+              when 0 then
+                "The #{adjective(2)} #{noun} #{in_place(5)} is #{adjective}."
+              when 1 then
+                "#{name} #{action} the #{adjective} #{noun} and the #{adjective} #{noun}."
+              when 2 then
+                "The #{noun} from #{place} will go to #{place}."
+              when 3 then
+                "#{name} must take the #{adjective} #{noun} from #{place}."
+              when 4 then
+                "#{place} is #{adjective} and the #{noun} is #{adjective}."
+              when 5 then
+                "#{name} #{preposition} #{place} for the #{adjective} #{noun}."
+              when 6 then
+                "The #{adjective(2)} #{noun} #{action} the #{adjective} #{noun} #{in_place(5)}."
+              when 7 then
+                "#{name} #{preposition} #{place} and #{action} the #{noun}."
+              when 8 then
+                "#{name} takes #{pronoun} #{adjective(2)} #{noun} and #{preposition} #{place}."
+              when 9 then
+                "#{name} #{action} the #{adjective(2)} #{noun}."
+              when 10 then
+                "#{name} #{action} #{name} and #{pronoun} #{adjective(2)} #{noun}."
+              when 11 then
+                "#{name} is the #{adjective(2)} #{noun}; #{name} #{preposition} #{place}."
+              when 12 then
+                "You must meet #{name} at #{place} and get the #{adjective(2)} #{noun}."
+              when 13 then
+                "A #{noun} from #{place} #{action} the #{adjective(2)} #{adjective(5)} #{noun}."
+            end
+        while msg.include?("  ")
+          msg.gsub!(/  /, " ") # Collapse multiple spaces into a single one.
+        end
+        msg.gsub!(/^ /, "") # remove space from the front
+        msg.gsub!(/ \./, ".") # remove space from before a "."
+        #Extension to allow for placing #{intro} in front of the messages, and keeping
+        #the case correct, if required. Not required for the original set of strings,
+        #so commented out to prevent unneccessary code execution.
+        #while msg[/([^A-Z][\.\!\?\:])\s+([a-z])/]
+        #	msg[/([^A-Z][\.\!\?\:])\s+([a-z])/]="#{$1} #{$2.upcase}"
+        #end
+        msg[0]=msg[0, 1].upcase
+        msg
+      end
+    end
+
+    match /fnord/
+
+    def execute(m)
+      m.reply Fnord.headline
+    end
+  end
+
+end
+
+# AutoLoad
+Bot.config.plugins.plugins.push Plugins::Fnord