yourmom 0.0.4 → 0.0.5
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- data/bin/yourmom +105 -1
- data/lib/yourmom/version.rb +1 -1
- metadata +1 -1
data/bin/yourmom
CHANGED
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@@ -22,5 +22,109 @@ when "where", "where-is-she"
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22
22
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when "with-who", "with-whom"
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23
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puts "me\n"
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24
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else
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25
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-
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25
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+
jokes = [
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26
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"Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing",
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27
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"Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her",
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28
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"Yo mama is so fat, she got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack",
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29
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"Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.",
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30
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"Yo mama so fat she wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled Taxi!",
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31
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"Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.",
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32
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"Yo mama so fat Mount Everest tried to climb her",
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33
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"Yo mamma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.",
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34
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"Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.",
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35
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"Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her.",
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36
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"Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.",
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37
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"Your mums so fat she doesn't need the internet; she's already world wide",
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38
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"Yo mama so fat her beeper went off and people thought she was backing up.",
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39
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"Yo momma is so fat, that when she steps on a scale it says to be continued.",
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40
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"Yo mamma so fat when she goes swimming the whales start singing We are Family",
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41
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"Yo momma so fat when she fell no one laughed but the ground started cracking up",
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42
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"Yo momma so fat when God said let it be light he told your momma to move",
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43
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"Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.",
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44
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"Yo mama so fat she died",
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45
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"Yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and popped Skittles out",
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46
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"Yo mamma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flipflops",
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47
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"Yo momma so fat her belly button got home 30 minutes before she did",
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48
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"Yo mamma's so fat she went to japan and Godzilla said DAMN and ran away.",
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49
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"Yo momma is so fat that she uses the Great Wall of China wall as a belt",
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50
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"Yo mama so fat when she burped New Orlean thought Katrina came back to finish the job",
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51
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"Yo mama so fat she don't fit in this joke",
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52
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"Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food",
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53
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"Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in.",
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54
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"Yo momma so fat she's on both sides the family",
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55
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"Yo' mommas so fat that when she walked by the TV set I missed 3 seasons of Laguna Beach",
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56
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"Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo Gamecube and turned it into a Gameboy",
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57
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"Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a bakery",
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58
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"Yo momma so fat when she saw a bus she said come back Twinkie",
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59
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"Yo mamma so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass",
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60
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"Yo mama so fat that she fell over and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up",
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61
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"Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan",
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62
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"Yo mama is so fat every time she sits down they add another country to the map",
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63
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"Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant",
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64
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"Yo momma so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.",
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65
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"Yo momma so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.",
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66
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"Yo momma so fat when she plays hop scotch she goes Chicago, New York, L.A.",
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67
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"Yo momma so fat she's skinny",
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68
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"Yo mama is so fat a truck hit her and she said, Hey who threw that rock?",
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69
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"Yo mama so fat she got a parking ticket for standing at a crosswalk",
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70
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"Yo mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat by everybody",
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71
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"Yo momma so fat when she jogs she leaves pot holes",
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72
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"Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number",
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73
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"Yo momma so fat God could not even lift her spirt",
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74
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"Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonalds she tripped over Wendys and landed on Burger King",
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75
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"Yo momma is so fat if she buys a fur coat, a species will be extinct.",
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76
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"Yo momma so fat when she was standing on the corner a cop came along and told her to break it up",
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77
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"Yo momma is so fat when she fell in love, she broke it.",
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78
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"Yo mama is so fat, Fat Albert was even scared of her and her weight.",
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79
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"Yo momma so fat not even a Twinkie would get her of the couch while a crane tries to support her",
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80
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"Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFC's",
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81
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"Yo momma so fat she stepped on the scale and it said one person at the time",
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82
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"Yo mamma is so fat that on halloween she says trick or meatloaf",
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83
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"Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side.",
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84
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"Yo momma is so fat when she farted it was the end of the world",
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85
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"Yo mama so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.",
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86
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"Yo mamma so fat she was diagnosed with flesh eating bacteria and the doctor gave her 87 years to live",
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87
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"Yo momma is so fat were in her right now",
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88
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"Yo mama so fat that when she died she broke the stairway to heaven",
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89
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"Yo Momma so fat her IUD picks up radio free Europe",
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90
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"Yo mama is so fat every time she tries to hide she is hiding that object that she is trying to hide by",
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91
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"Yo mamma so fat her nickname is just DAMN",
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92
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"Yo mama so fat, her stomach gets home 15 minutes before she does.",
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93
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"Yo momma so fat people keep pushing her in the water at the beach so she won't die",
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94
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"Yo mama's so fat, I got lost after running around her.",
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95
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"Yo mama so fat, when she entered a fat contest, she came in first, second, and third.",
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96
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"Yo mamas so fat everytime she turns around its her birthday",
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97
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"Yo mamma is so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck",
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98
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"Yo mama is so fat she can be my bear",
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99
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"Yo mama so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale",
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100
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"Yo mammas so fat, there's a reason why it's called 'HEAVE'n",
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101
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"Yo mamma is so fat when she was walking on the street her belly button was sticking out everybody started saying, hey look a third nipple!",
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102
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"Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus she said who threw that rock",
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103
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"Yo mamma is so fat she irons her pants on the street",
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104
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"Yo mama so fat Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction",
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105
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"Yo mama is so fat I already got a nightmare",
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106
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"Yo mama is so fat she fell of the side of the world and blocked the black hole",
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107
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"Yo mama is so fat the only thing stopping her from Jenny Craig is the door",
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108
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"Yo momma so fat she tried to be on E.T. but when she went over the moon she caused an eclipse",
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109
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"Yo mama is so fat her blood type is Ragu",
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110
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"Yo mama so fat that when she died, she ended world hunger.",
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111
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"Yo momma so fat when she gets cut she bleeds gravy",
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112
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"Yo mama so fat that she ran over 4 quarters and turned it in to a dollar",
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113
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"Yo mama's so fat I saw a picture of her on pages: 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.",
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114
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"Yo mama so fat she leaves footsteps in concrete",
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115
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"Yo mama so fat she gives a whole new meaning to infinity and beyond",
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116
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"Yo mama is so fat every time she tries to sing she sings like this, blah hamburger blah",
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117
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"Yo mama so fat she fell off all four sides of the bed",
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118
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"Yo mama so fat when she went to McDonalds they offered her a group discount",
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119
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"Yo mama so fat that when I tried to swerve around her I ran out of petrol",
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120
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"London Bridge was falling down because yo fat mama walked on it.",
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121
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"Yo mummas so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling Godzilla Godzilla.",
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122
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"Your mama so fat her mom's still in therapy from after birth.",
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123
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"Ya mum so fat she ate Jenny and Craig.",
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124
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"Yo momma is so fat when she took a shower her feet didn't get wet",
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125
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"Yo mamma is so fat the back of her neck looks like a packet of hotdogs"
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126
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]
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127
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joke = jokes.sample
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128
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puts "#{joke}\n\n"
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129
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26
130
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end
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data/lib/yourmom/version.rb
CHANGED