snappy 0.0.13 → 0.0.14

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  1. checksums.yaml +4 -4
  2. data/Gemfile +1 -1
  3. data/lib/snappy/version.rb +1 -1
  4. data/vendor/snappy/AUTHORS +1 -0
  5. data/vendor/snappy/COPYING +54 -0
  6. data/vendor/snappy/ChangeLog +1916 -0
  7. data/vendor/snappy/Makefile.am +23 -0
  8. data/vendor/snappy/NEWS +128 -0
  9. data/vendor/snappy/README +135 -0
  10. data/vendor/snappy/autogen.sh +7 -0
  11. data/vendor/snappy/configure.ac +133 -0
  12. data/vendor/snappy/format_description.txt +110 -0
  13. data/vendor/snappy/framing_format.txt +135 -0
  14. data/vendor/snappy/m4/gtest.m4 +74 -0
  15. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-c.cc +90 -0
  16. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-c.h +138 -0
  17. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-internal.h +150 -0
  18. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-sinksource.cc +71 -0
  19. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-sinksource.h +137 -0
  20. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-stubs-internal.cc +42 -0
  21. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-stubs-internal.h +491 -0
  22. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-stubs-public.h.in +98 -0
  23. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-test.cc +606 -0
  24. data/vendor/snappy/snappy-test.h +582 -0
  25. data/vendor/snappy/snappy.cc +1306 -0
  26. data/vendor/snappy/snappy.h +184 -0
  27. data/vendor/snappy/snappy_unittest.cc +1355 -0
  28. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/alice29.txt +3609 -0
  29. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/asyoulik.txt +4122 -0
  30. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/baddata1.snappy +0 -0
  31. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/baddata2.snappy +0 -0
  32. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/baddata3.snappy +0 -0
  33. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/fireworks.jpeg +0 -0
  34. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/geo.protodata +0 -0
  35. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/html +1 -0
  36. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/html_x_4 +1 -0
  37. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/kppkn.gtb +0 -0
  38. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/lcet10.txt +7519 -0
  39. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/paper-100k.pdf +600 -2
  40. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/plrabn12.txt +10699 -0
  41. data/vendor/snappy/testdata/urls.10K +10000 -0
  42. metadata +40 -2
@@ -0,0 +1,3609 @@
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+
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+
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+ ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
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+
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+ Lewis Carroll
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+
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+ THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9
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+
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+
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+
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+
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+ CHAPTER I
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+
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+ Down the Rabbit-Hole
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+
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+
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+ Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
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+ on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had
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+ peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
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+ pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'
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+ thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'
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+
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+ So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
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+ for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
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+ the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
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+ of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
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+ Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.
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+
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+ There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice
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+ think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to
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+ itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought
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+ it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have
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+ wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);
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+ but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-
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+ POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to
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+ her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
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+ before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
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+ take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the
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+ field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop
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+ down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
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+
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+ In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
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+ considering how in the world she was to get out again.
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+
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+ The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
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+ and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
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+ moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
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+ falling down a very deep well.
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+
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+ Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she
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+ had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
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+ wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look
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+ down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
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+ see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
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+ noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
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+ here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She
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+ took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was
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+ labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it
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+ was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing
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+ somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she
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+ fell past it.
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+
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+ `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I
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+ shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll
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+ all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,
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+ even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
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+ true.)
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+
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+ Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I
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+ wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.
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+ `I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let
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+ me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,
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+ you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her
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+ lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good
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+ opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to
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+ listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,
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+ that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude
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+ or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,
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+ or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to
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+ say.)
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+
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+ Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right
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+ THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the
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+ people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I
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+ think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this
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+ time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall
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+ have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
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+ Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
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+ to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling
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+ through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what
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+ an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll
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+ never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'
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+
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+ Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
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+ began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
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+ should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember
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+ her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were
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+ down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but
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+ you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.
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+ But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get
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+ rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of
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+ way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do
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+ bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either
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+ question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt
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+ that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she
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+ was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very
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+ earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a
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+ bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of
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+ sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
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+
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+ Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
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+ moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
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+ was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
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+ sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost:
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+ away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it
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+ say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late
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+ it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the
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+ corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found
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+ herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps
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+ hanging from the roof.
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+
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+ There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
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+ and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
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+ other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
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+ wondering how she was ever to get out again.
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+
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+ Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of
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+ solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
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+ and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
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+ doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
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+ the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
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+ them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
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+ curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
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+ door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
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+ in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
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+
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+ Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
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+ passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and
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+ looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
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+ How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
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+ among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
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+ she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if
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+ my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of
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+ very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish
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+ I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only
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+ know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things
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+ had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
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+ things indeed were really impossible.
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+
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+ There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she
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+ went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on
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+ it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like
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+ telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which
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+ certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck
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+ of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'
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+ beautifully printed on it in large letters.
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+
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+ It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little
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+ Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look
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+ first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';
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+ for she had read several nice little histories about children who
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+ had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant
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+ things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules
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+ their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker
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+ will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
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+ finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had
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+ never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked
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+ `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
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+ later.
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+
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+ However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured
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+ to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort
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+ of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast
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+ turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished
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+ it off.
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+
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+ * * * * * * *
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+
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+ * * * * * *
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+
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+ * * * * * * *
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+
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+ `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up
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+ like a telescope.'
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+
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+ And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and
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+ her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
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+ size for going though the little door into that lovely garden.
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+ First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
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+ going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
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+ this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my
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+ going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be
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+ like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
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+ like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
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+ ever having seen such a thing.
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+
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+ After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
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+ on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
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+ she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden
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+ key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she
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+ could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly
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+ through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
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+ legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
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+ tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
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+ cried.
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+
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+ `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
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+ herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'
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+ She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
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+ seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
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+ severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
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+ trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
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+ of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
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+ child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no
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+ use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why,
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+ there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable
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+ person!'
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+
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+ Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
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+ the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
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+ which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
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+ `Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,
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+ I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
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+ under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
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+ don't care which happens!'
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+
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+ She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which
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+ way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to
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+ feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to
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+ find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
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+ happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
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+ way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
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+ that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
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+ common way.
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+
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+ So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
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+
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+ * * * * * * *
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+
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+ * * * * * *
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+
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+ * * * * * * *
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+
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+
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+
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+
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+ CHAPTER II
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+
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+ The Pool of Tears
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+
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+
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+ `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
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+ surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
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+ English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
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+ ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her
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+ feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so
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+ far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on
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+ your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't
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+ be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
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+ about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
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+ kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the
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+ way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of
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+ boots every Christmas.'
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+
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+ And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
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+ `They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll
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+ seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the
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+ directions will look!
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+
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+ ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
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+ HEARTHRUG,
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+ NEAR THE FENDER,
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+ (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).
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+
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+ Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'
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+
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+ Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in
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+ fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
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+ up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.
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+
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+ Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
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+ side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
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+ through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to
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+ cry again.
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+
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+ `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great
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+ girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in
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+ this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all
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+ the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool
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+ all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
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+ hall.
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+
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+ After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
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+ distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
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+ It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
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+ pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
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+ other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
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+ himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she
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+ be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate
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+ that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
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+ came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,
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+ sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid
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+ gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard
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+ as he could go.
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+
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+ Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
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+ hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
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+ `Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday
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+ things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in
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+ the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this
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+ morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
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+ different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
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+ the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began
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+ thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age
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+ as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of
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+ them.
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+
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+ `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such
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+ long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
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+ sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
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+ oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,
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+ and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the
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+ things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve,
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+ and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!
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+ I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the
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+ Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
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+ London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
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+ and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been
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+ changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'
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+ and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,
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+ and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and
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+ strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--
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+
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+ `How doth the little crocodile
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+ Improve his shining tail,
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+ And pour the waters of the Nile
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+ On every golden scale!
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+
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+ `How cheerfully he seems to grin,
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+ How neatly spread his claws,
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+ And welcome little fishes in
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+ With gently smiling jaws!'
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+
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+ `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
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+ her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel
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+ after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
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+ house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
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+ many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
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+ Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their
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+ heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look
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+ up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I
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+ like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down
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+ here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a
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+ sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads
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+ down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'
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+
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+ As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
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+ surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
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+ white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done
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+ that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up
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+ and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,
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+ as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,
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+ and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the
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+ cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
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+ hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.
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+
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+ `That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at
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+ the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in
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+ existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed
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+ back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut
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+ again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as
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+ before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,
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+ `for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare
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+ it's too bad, that it is!'
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+
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+ As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
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+ moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first
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+ idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that
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+ case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had
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+ been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
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+ conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
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+ a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
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+ the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
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+ behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that
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+ she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
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+ feet high.
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+
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+ `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,
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+ trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I
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+ suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer
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+ thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'
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+
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+ Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
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+ little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at
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+ first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
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+ she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
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+ it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.
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+
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+ `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this
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+ mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should
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+ think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in
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+ trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of
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+ this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
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+ (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
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+ she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
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+ seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a
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+ mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather
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+ inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
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+ eyes, but it said nothing.
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+
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+ `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I
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+ daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
415
+ Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had
416
+ no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she
417
+ began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
418
+ her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
419
+ water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg
420
+ your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the
421
+ poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'
422
+
423
+ `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
424
+ voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'
425
+
426
+ `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be
427
+ angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:
428
+ I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.
429
+ She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,
430
+ as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so
431
+ nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
432
+ she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
433
+ one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
434
+ for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
435
+ certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any
436
+ more if you'd rather not.'
437
+
438
+ `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end
439
+ of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family
440
+ always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear
441
+ the name again!'
442
+
443
+ `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
444
+ subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
445
+ The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is
446
+ such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
447
+ A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
448
+ brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and
449
+ it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I
450
+ can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you
451
+ know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!
452
+ He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a
453
+ sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the
454
+ Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and
455
+ making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.
456
+
457
+ So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back
458
+ again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
459
+ like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
460
+ slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
461
+ thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to
462
+ the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
463
+ understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'
464
+
465
+ It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
466
+ with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a
467
+ Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
468
+ creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
469
+ shore.
470
+
471
+
472
+
473
+ CHAPTER III
474
+
475
+ A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
476
+
477
+
478
+ They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
479
+ bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their
480
+ fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and
481
+ uncomfortable.
482
+
483
+ The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
484
+ had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed
485
+ quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with
486
+ them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had
487
+ quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
488
+ and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';
489
+ and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,
490
+ and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no
491
+ more to be said.
492
+
493
+ At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among
494
+ them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL
495
+ soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large
496
+ ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes
497
+ anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad
498
+ cold if she did not get dry very soon.
499
+
500
+ `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?
501
+ This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!
502
+ "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was
503
+ soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been
504
+ of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and
505
+ Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
506
+
507
+ `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
508
+
509
+ `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
510
+ politely: `Did you speak?'
511
+
512
+ `Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
513
+
514
+ `I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and
515
+ Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:
516
+ and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found
517
+ it advisable--"'
518
+
519
+ `Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
520
+
521
+ `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you
522
+ know what "it" means.'
523
+
524
+ `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said
525
+ the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is,
526
+ what did the archbishop find?'
527
+
528
+ The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
529
+ `"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
530
+ and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was
531
+ moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you
532
+ getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it
533
+ spoke.
534
+
535
+ `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't
536
+ seem to dry me at all.'
537
+
538
+ `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I
539
+ move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
540
+ energetic remedies--'
541
+
542
+ `Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of
543
+ half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do
544
+ either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:
545
+ some of the other birds tittered audibly.
546
+
547
+ `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,
548
+ `was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
549
+
550
+ `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much
551
+ to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY
552
+ ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
553
+
554
+ `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'
555
+ (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter
556
+ day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
557
+
558
+ First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the
559
+ exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party
560
+ were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One,
561
+ two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,
562
+ and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know
563
+ when the race was over. However, when they had been running half
564
+ an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
565
+ out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,
566
+ and asking, `But who has won?'
567
+
568
+ This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
569
+ thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon
570
+ its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,
571
+ in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At
572
+ last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have
573
+ prizes.'
574
+
575
+ `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
576
+ asked.
577
+
578
+ `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with
579
+ one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
580
+ calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'
581
+
582
+ Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand
583
+ in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt
584
+ water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.
585
+ There was exactly one a-piece all round.
586
+
587
+ `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
588
+
589
+ `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have
590
+ you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
591
+
592
+ `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
593
+
594
+ `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
595
+
596
+ Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
597
+ solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of
598
+ this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short
599
+ speech, they all cheered.
600
+
601
+ Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked
602
+ so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
603
+ think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
604
+ looking as solemn as she could.
605
+
606
+ The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise
607
+ and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not
608
+ taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on
609
+ the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again
610
+ in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
611
+
612
+ `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
613
+ `and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
614
+ afraid that it would be offended again.
615
+
616
+ `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
617
+ Alice, and sighing.
618
+
619
+ `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
620
+ wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And
621
+ she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so
622
+ that her idea of the tale was something like this:--
623
+
624
+ `Fury said to a
625
+ mouse, That he
626
+ met in the
627
+ house,
628
+ "Let us
629
+ both go to
630
+ law: I will
631
+ prosecute
632
+ YOU. --Come,
633
+ I'll take no
634
+ denial; We
635
+ must have a
636
+ trial: For
637
+ really this
638
+ morning I've
639
+ nothing
640
+ to do."
641
+ Said the
642
+ mouse to the
643
+ cur, "Such
644
+ a trial,
645
+ dear Sir,
646
+ With
647
+ no jury
648
+ or judge,
649
+ would be
650
+ wasting
651
+ our
652
+ breath."
653
+ "I'll be
654
+ judge, I'll
655
+ be jury,"
656
+ Said
657
+ cunning
658
+ old Fury:
659
+ "I'll
660
+ try the
661
+ whole
662
+ cause,
663
+ and
664
+ condemn
665
+ you
666
+ to
667
+ death."'
668
+
669
+
670
+ `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
671
+ `What are you thinking of?'
672
+
673
+ `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to
674
+ the fifth bend, I think?'
675
+
676
+ `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
677
+
678
+ `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
679
+ looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
680
+
681
+ `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
682
+ and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
683
+
684
+ `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily
685
+ offended, you know!'
686
+
687
+ The Mouse only growled in reply.
688
+
689
+ `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
690
+ it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but
691
+ the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
692
+ quicker.
693
+
694
+ `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
695
+ was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
696
+ saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
697
+ never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the
698
+ young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the
699
+ patience of an oyster!'
700
+
701
+ `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
702
+ addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'
703
+
704
+ `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
705
+ said the Lory.
706
+
707
+ Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
708
+ her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
709
+ catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
710
+ after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look
711
+ at it!'
712
+
713
+ This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
714
+ Some of the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began
715
+ wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be
716
+ getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
717
+ called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my
718
+ dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts
719
+ they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
720
+
721
+ `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
722
+ melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
723
+ sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I
724
+ wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice
725
+ began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.
726
+ In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of
727
+ footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping
728
+ that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to
729
+ finish his story.
730
+
731
+
732
+
733
+ CHAPTER IV
734
+
735
+ The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
736
+
737
+
738
+ It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
739
+ looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
740
+ and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess!
741
+ Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me
742
+ executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have
743
+ dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was
744
+ looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she
745
+ very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
746
+ nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
747
+ swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
748
+ the little door, had vanished completely.
749
+
750
+ Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
751
+ and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE
752
+ you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of
753
+ gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened
754
+ that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
755
+ trying to explain the mistake it had made.
756
+
757
+ `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.
758
+ `How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd
759
+ better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
760
+ As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
761
+ of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'
762
+ engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
763
+ upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
764
+ and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and
765
+ gloves.
766
+
767
+ `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going
768
+ messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
769
+ messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that
770
+ would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready
771
+ for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see
772
+ that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went
773
+ on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering
774
+ people about like that!'
775
+
776
+ By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with
777
+ a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two
778
+ or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and
779
+ a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when
780
+ her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-
781
+ glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'
782
+ but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know
783
+ SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,
784
+ `whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this
785
+ bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for
786
+ really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
787
+
788
+ It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:
789
+ before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing
790
+ against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
791
+ broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself
792
+ `That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I
793
+ can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so
794
+ much!'
795
+
796
+ Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and
797
+ growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in
798
+ another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried
799
+ the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the
800
+ other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and,
801
+ as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one
802
+ foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,
803
+ whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'
804
+
805
+ Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full
806
+ effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable,
807
+ and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting
808
+ out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
809
+
810
+ `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one
811
+ wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about
812
+ by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
813
+ rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,
814
+ this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!
815
+ When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing
816
+ never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There
817
+ ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when
818
+ I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a
819
+ sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more
820
+ HERE.'
821
+
822
+ `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I
823
+ am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-
824
+ -but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like
825
+ THAT!'
826
+
827
+ `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you
828
+ learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no
829
+ room at all for any lesson-books!'
830
+
831
+ And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
832
+ and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
833
+ minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
834
+
835
+ `Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves
836
+ this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the
837
+ stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and
838
+ she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she
839
+ was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no
840
+ reason to be afraid of it.
841
+
842
+ Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;
843
+ but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed
844
+ hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it
845
+ say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'
846
+
847
+ `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she
848
+ fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly
849
+ spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not
850
+ get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,
851
+ and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was
852
+ just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something
853
+ of the sort.
854
+
855
+ Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are
856
+ you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then
857
+ I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'
858
+
859
+ `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here!
860
+ Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
861
+
862
+ `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
863
+
864
+ `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.')
865
+
866
+ `An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it
867
+ fills the whole window!'
868
+
869
+ `Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
870
+
871
+ `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it
872
+ away!'
873
+
874
+ There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
875
+ whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer
876
+ honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at
877
+ last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
878
+ the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more
879
+ sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there
880
+ must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for
881
+ pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I
882
+ don't want to stay in here any longer!'
883
+
884
+ She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at
885
+ last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a
886
+ good many voice all talking together: she made out the words:
887
+ `Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
888
+ Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
889
+ at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half
890
+ high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-
891
+ -Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind
892
+ that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud
893
+ crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go
894
+ down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,
895
+ then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to
896
+ go down the chimney!'
897
+
898
+ `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said
899
+ Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!
900
+ I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is
901
+ narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'
902
+
903
+ She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
904
+ waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
905
+ sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
906
+ above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one
907
+ sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
908
+
909
+ The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes
910
+ Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the
911
+ hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold
912
+ up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?
913
+ What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
914
+
915
+ Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'
916
+ thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm
917
+ better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know
918
+ is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes
919
+ like a sky-rocket!'
920
+
921
+ `So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
922
+
923
+ `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
924
+ Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set
925
+ Dinah at you!'
926
+
927
+ There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
928
+ herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any
929
+ sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they
930
+ began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A
931
+ barrowful will do, to begin with.'
932
+
933
+ `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to
934
+ doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came
935
+ rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.
936
+ `I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,
937
+ `You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead
938
+ silence.
939
+
940
+ Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
941
+ turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
942
+ idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she
943
+ thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it
944
+ can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
945
+ suppose.'
946
+
947
+ So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find
948
+ that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
949
+ enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and
950
+ found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.
951
+ The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by
952
+ two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.
953
+ They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she
954
+ ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
955
+ thick wood.
956
+
957
+ `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she
958
+ wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;
959
+ and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.
960
+ I think that will be the best plan.'
961
+
962
+ It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and
963
+ simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the
964
+ smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering
965
+ about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over
966
+ her head made her look up in a great hurry.
967
+
968
+ An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
969
+ eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.
970
+ `Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried
971
+ hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the
972
+ time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
973
+ would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
974
+
975
+ Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of
976
+ stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped
977
+ into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,
978
+ and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice
979
+ dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
980
+ over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
981
+ made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in
982
+ its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
983
+ like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
984
+ moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
985
+ again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
986
+ stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long
987
+ way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat
988
+ down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its
989
+ mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
990
+
991
+ This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
992
+ so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out
993
+ of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the
994
+ distance.
995
+
996
+ `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she
997
+ leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself
998
+ with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks
999
+ very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh
1000
+ dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let
1001
+ me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or
1002
+ drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'
1003
+
1004
+ The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round
1005
+ her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see
1006
+ anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under
1007
+ the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her,
1008
+ about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under
1009
+ it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
1010
+ that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.
1011
+
1012
+ She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of
1013
+ the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large
1014
+ caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,
1015
+ quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
1016
+ of her or of anything else.
1017
+
1018
+
1019
+
1020
+ CHAPTER V
1021
+
1022
+ Advice from a Caterpillar
1023
+
1024
+
1025
+ The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in
1026
+ silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
1027
+ mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
1028
+
1029
+ `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
1030
+
1031
+ This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice
1032
+ replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--
1033
+ at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think
1034
+ I must have been changed several times since then.'
1035
+
1036
+ `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
1037
+ `Explain yourself!'
1038
+
1039
+ `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because
1040
+ I'm not myself, you see.'
1041
+
1042
+ `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
1043
+
1044
+ `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
1045
+ politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
1046
+ being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'
1047
+
1048
+ `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
1049
+
1050
+ `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but
1051
+ when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you
1052
+ know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll
1053
+ feel it a little queer, won't you?'
1054
+
1055
+ `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
1056
+
1057
+ `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;
1058
+ `all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'
1059
+
1060
+ `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'
1061
+
1062
+ Which brought them back again to the beginning of the
1063
+ conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's
1064
+ making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,
1065
+ very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'
1066
+
1067
+ `Why?' said the Caterpillar.
1068
+
1069
+ Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
1070
+ think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in
1071
+ a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
1072
+
1073
+ `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something
1074
+ important to say!'
1075
+
1076
+ This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back
1077
+ again.
1078
+
1079
+ `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
1080
+
1081
+ `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as
1082
+ she could.
1083
+
1084
+ `No,' said the Caterpillar.
1085
+
1086
+ Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
1087
+ to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth
1088
+ hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but
1089
+ at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth
1090
+ again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'
1091
+
1092
+ `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as
1093
+ I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
1094
+
1095
+ `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
1096
+
1097
+ `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it
1098
+ all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
1099
+
1100
+ `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
1101
+
1102
+ Alice folded her hands, and began:--
1103
+
1104
+ `You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
1105
+ `And your hair has become very white;
1106
+ And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
1107
+ Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
1108
+
1109
+ `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
1110
+ `I feared it might injure the brain;
1111
+ But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
1112
+ Why, I do it again and again.'
1113
+
1114
+ `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,
1115
+ And have grown most uncommonly fat;
1116
+ Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
1117
+ Pray, what is the reason of that?'
1118
+
1119
+ `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
1120
+ `I kept all my limbs very supple
1121
+ By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
1122
+ Allow me to sell you a couple?'
1123
+
1124
+ `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak
1125
+ For anything tougher than suet;
1126
+ Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
1127
+ Pray how did you manage to do it?'
1128
+
1129
+ `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,
1130
+ And argued each case with my wife;
1131
+ And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
1132
+ Has lasted the rest of my life.'
1133
+
1134
+ `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose
1135
+ That your eye was as steady as ever;
1136
+ Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
1137
+ What made you so awfully clever?'
1138
+
1139
+ `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
1140
+ Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!
1141
+ Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
1142
+ Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
1143
+
1144
+
1145
+ `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
1146
+
1147
+ `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the
1148
+ words have got altered.'
1149
+
1150
+ `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
1151
+ decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
1152
+
1153
+ The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
1154
+
1155
+ `What size do you want to be?' it asked.
1156
+
1157
+ `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
1158
+ `only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'
1159
+
1160
+ `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
1161
+
1162
+ Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in
1163
+ her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
1164
+
1165
+ `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
1166
+
1167
+ `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you
1168
+ wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched
1169
+ height to be.'
1170
+
1171
+ `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
1172
+ angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
1173
+ inches high).
1174
+
1175
+ `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
1176
+ And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so
1177
+ easily offended!'
1178
+
1179
+ `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it
1180
+ put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
1181
+
1182
+ This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.
1183
+ In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
1184
+ mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got
1185
+ down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely
1186
+ remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and
1187
+ the other side will make you grow shorter.'
1188
+
1189
+ `One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to
1190
+ herself.
1191
+
1192
+ `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had
1193
+ asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
1194
+
1195
+ Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a
1196
+ minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as
1197
+ it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.
1198
+ However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they
1199
+ would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.
1200
+
1201
+ `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a
1202
+ little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment
1203
+ she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her
1204
+ foot!
1205
+
1206
+ She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
1207
+ she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking
1208
+ rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.
1209
+ Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was
1210
+ hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and
1211
+ managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
1212
+
1213
+
1214
+ * * * * * * *
1215
+
1216
+ * * * * * *
1217
+
1218
+ * * * * * * *
1219
+
1220
+ `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of
1221
+ delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she
1222
+ found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could
1223
+ see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which
1224
+ seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay
1225
+ far below her.
1226
+
1227
+ `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where
1228
+ HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I
1229
+ can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no
1230
+ result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the
1231
+ distant green leaves.
1232
+
1233
+ As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
1234
+ head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted
1235
+ to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,
1236
+ like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a
1237
+ graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which
1238
+ she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
1239
+ had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a
1240
+ hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating
1241
+ her violently with its wings.
1242
+
1243
+ `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
1244
+
1245
+ `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'
1246
+
1247
+ `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more
1248
+ subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every
1249
+ way, and nothing seems to suit them!'
1250
+
1251
+ `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said
1252
+ Alice.
1253
+
1254
+ `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've
1255
+ tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but
1256
+ those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'
1257
+
1258
+ Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
1259
+ use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
1260
+
1261
+ `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the
1262
+ Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and
1263
+ day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'
1264
+
1265
+ `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was
1266
+ beginning to see its meaning.
1267
+
1268
+ `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued
1269
+ the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was
1270
+ thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come
1271
+ wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
1272
+
1273
+ `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm
1274
+ a--'
1275
+
1276
+ `Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're
1277
+ trying to invent something!'
1278
+
1279
+ `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she
1280
+ remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.
1281
+
1282
+ `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the
1283
+ deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my
1284
+ time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a
1285
+ serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be
1286
+ telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'
1287
+
1288
+ `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very
1289
+ truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as
1290
+ serpents do, you know.'
1291
+
1292
+ `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why
1293
+ then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
1294
+
1295
+ This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent
1296
+ for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of
1297
+ adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and
1298
+ what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a
1299
+ serpent?'
1300
+
1301
+ `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm
1302
+ not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't
1303
+ want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'
1304
+
1305
+ `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
1306
+ settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the
1307
+ trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled
1308
+ among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and
1309
+ untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the
1310
+ pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
1311
+ carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and
1312
+ growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
1313
+ succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
1314
+
1315
+ It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,
1316
+ that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a
1317
+ few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come,
1318
+ there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes
1319
+ are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to
1320
+ another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next
1321
+ thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be
1322
+ done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an
1323
+ open place, with a little house in it about four feet high.
1324
+ `Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come
1325
+ upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their
1326
+ wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did
1327
+ not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself
1328
+ down to nine inches high.
1329
+
1330
+
1331
+
1332
+ CHAPTER VI
1333
+
1334
+ Pig and Pepper
1335
+
1336
+
1337
+ For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and
1338
+ wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came
1339
+ running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman
1340
+ because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,
1341
+ she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
1342
+ with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,
1343
+ with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,
1344
+ Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their
1345
+ heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and
1346
+ crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
1347
+
1348
+ The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great
1349
+ letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to
1350
+ the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An
1351
+ invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman
1352
+ repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
1353
+ words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess
1354
+ to play croquet.'
1355
+
1356
+ Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled
1357
+ together.
1358
+
1359
+ Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into
1360
+ the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped
1361
+ out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the
1362
+ ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
1363
+
1364
+ Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
1365
+
1366
+ `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and
1367
+ that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the
1368
+ door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise
1369
+ inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was
1370
+ a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling
1371
+ and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish
1372
+ or kettle had been broken to pieces.
1373
+
1374
+ `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'
1375
+
1376
+ `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went
1377
+ on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For
1378
+ instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let
1379
+ you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time
1380
+ he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But
1381
+ perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so
1382
+ VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might
1383
+ answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.
1384
+
1385
+ `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'
1386
+
1387
+ At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
1388
+ came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just
1389
+ grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees
1390
+ behind him.
1391
+
1392
+ `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone,
1393
+ exactly as if nothing had happened.
1394
+
1395
+ `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
1396
+
1397
+ `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the
1398
+ first question, you know.'
1399
+
1400
+ It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so.
1401
+ `It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the
1402
+ creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'
1403
+
1404
+ The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for
1405
+ repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he
1406
+ said, `on and off, for days and days.'
1407
+
1408
+ `But what am I to do?' said Alice.
1409
+
1410
+ `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
1411
+
1412
+ `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately:
1413
+ `he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
1414
+
1415
+ The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of
1416
+ smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a
1417
+ three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was
1418
+ leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to
1419
+ be full of soup.
1420
+
1421
+ `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to
1422
+ herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
1423
+
1424
+ There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the
1425
+ Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was
1426
+ sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The
1427
+ only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,
1428
+ and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from
1429
+ ear to ear.
1430
+
1431
+ `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for
1432
+ she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to
1433
+ speak first, `why your cat grins like that?'
1434
+
1435
+ `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why.
1436
+ Pig!'
1437
+
1438
+ She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice
1439
+ quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed
1440
+ to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on
1441
+ again:--
1442
+
1443
+ `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I
1444
+ didn't know that cats COULD grin.'
1445
+
1446
+ `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'
1447
+
1448
+ `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,
1449
+ feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.
1450
+
1451
+ `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'
1452
+
1453
+ Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought
1454
+ it would be as well to introduce some other subject of
1455
+ conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took
1456
+ the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work
1457
+ throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby
1458
+ --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,
1459
+ plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when
1460
+ they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it
1461
+ was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
1462
+
1463
+ `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up
1464
+ and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS
1465
+ nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very
1466
+ nearly carried it off.
1467
+
1468
+ `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a
1469
+ hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it
1470
+ does.'
1471
+
1472
+ `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very
1473
+ glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her
1474
+ knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day
1475
+ and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn
1476
+ round on its axis--'
1477
+
1478
+ `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'
1479
+
1480
+ Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant
1481
+ to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and
1482
+ seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four
1483
+ hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--'
1484
+
1485
+ `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide
1486
+ figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again,
1487
+ singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a
1488
+ violent shake at the end of every line:
1489
+
1490
+ `Speak roughly to your little boy,
1491
+ And beat him when he sneezes:
1492
+ He only does it to annoy,
1493
+ Because he knows it teases.'
1494
+
1495
+ CHORUS.
1496
+
1497
+ (In which the cook and the baby joined):--
1498
+
1499
+ `Wow! wow! wow!'
1500
+
1501
+ While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
1502
+ tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
1503
+ howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--
1504
+
1505
+ `I speak severely to my boy,
1506
+ I beat him when he sneezes;
1507
+ For he can thoroughly enjoy
1508
+ The pepper when he pleases!'
1509
+
1510
+ CHORUS.
1511
+
1512
+ `Wow! wow! wow!'
1513
+
1514
+ `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said
1515
+ to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and
1516
+ get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of
1517
+ the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,
1518
+ but it just missed her.
1519
+
1520
+ Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-
1521
+ shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all
1522
+ directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor
1523
+ little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,
1524
+ and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,
1525
+ so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much
1526
+ as she could do to hold it.
1527
+
1528
+ As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,
1529
+ (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep
1530
+ tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its
1531
+ undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I
1532
+ don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure
1533
+ to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it
1534
+ behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing
1535
+ grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't
1536
+ grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing
1537
+ yourself.'
1538
+
1539
+ The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into
1540
+ its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no
1541
+ doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout
1542
+ than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for
1543
+ a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at
1544
+ all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked
1545
+ into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.
1546
+
1547
+ No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig,
1548
+ my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do
1549
+ with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or
1550
+ grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for
1551
+ some while in silence.
1552
+
1553
+ Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I
1554
+ to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted
1555
+ again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some
1556
+ alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was
1557
+ neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be
1558
+ quite absurd for her to carry it further.
1559
+
1560
+ So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to
1561
+ see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,'
1562
+ she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:
1563
+ but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began
1564
+ thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as
1565
+ pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right
1566
+ way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing
1567
+ the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.
1568
+
1569
+ The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-
1570
+ natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great
1571
+ many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
1572
+
1573
+ `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at
1574
+ all know whether it would like the name: however, it only
1575
+ grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought
1576
+ Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I
1577
+ ought to go from here?'
1578
+
1579
+ `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said
1580
+ the Cat.
1581
+
1582
+ `I don't much care where--' said Alice.
1583
+
1584
+ `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
1585
+
1586
+ `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
1587
+
1588
+ `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk
1589
+ long enough.'
1590
+
1591
+ Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
1592
+ question. `What sort of people live about here?'
1593
+
1594
+ `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round,
1595
+ `lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw,
1596
+ `lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
1597
+
1598
+ `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
1599
+
1600
+ `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here.
1601
+ I'm mad. You're mad.'
1602
+
1603
+ `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
1604
+
1605
+ `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
1606
+
1607
+ Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on
1608
+ `And how do you know that you're mad?'
1609
+
1610
+ `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant
1611
+ that?'
1612
+
1613
+ `I suppose so,' said Alice.
1614
+
1615
+ `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's
1616
+ angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm
1617
+ pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'
1618
+
1619
+ `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.
1620
+
1621
+ `Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet
1622
+ with the Queen to-day?'
1623
+
1624
+ `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been
1625
+ invited yet.'
1626
+
1627
+ `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.
1628
+
1629
+ Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used
1630
+ to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place
1631
+ where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.
1632
+
1633
+ `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd
1634
+ nearly forgotten to ask.'
1635
+
1636
+ `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had
1637
+ come back in a natural way.
1638
+
1639
+ `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.
1640
+
1641
+ Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it
1642
+ did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the
1643
+ direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen
1644
+ hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be
1645
+ much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be
1646
+ raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said
1647
+ this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a
1648
+ branch of a tree.
1649
+
1650
+ `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.
1651
+
1652
+ `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep
1653
+ appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'
1654
+
1655
+ `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite
1656
+ slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the
1657
+ grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
1658
+
1659
+ `Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;
1660
+ `but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever
1661
+ say in my life!'
1662
+
1663
+ She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the
1664
+ house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house,
1665
+ because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was
1666
+ thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not
1667
+ like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand
1668
+ bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even
1669
+ then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself
1670
+ `Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd
1671
+ gone to see the Hatter instead!'
1672
+
1673
+
1674
+
1675
+ CHAPTER VII
1676
+
1677
+ A Mad Tea-Party
1678
+
1679
+
1680
+ There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,
1681
+ and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a
1682
+ Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two
1683
+ were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the
1684
+ talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'
1685
+ thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'
1686
+
1687
+ The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded
1688
+ together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried
1689
+ out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said
1690
+ Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one
1691
+ end of the table.
1692
+
1693
+ `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
1694
+
1695
+ Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it
1696
+ but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked.
1697
+
1698
+ `There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
1699
+
1700
+ `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice
1701
+ angrily.
1702
+
1703
+ `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being
1704
+ invited,' said the March Hare.
1705
+
1706
+ `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a
1707
+ great many more than three.'
1708
+
1709
+ `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been
1710
+ looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was
1711
+ his first speech.
1712
+
1713
+ `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said
1714
+ with some severity; `it's very rude.'
1715
+
1716
+ The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all
1717
+ he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
1718
+
1719
+ `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad
1720
+ they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she
1721
+ added aloud.
1722
+
1723
+ `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'
1724
+ said the March Hare.
1725
+
1726
+ `Exactly so,' said Alice.
1727
+
1728
+ `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
1729
+
1730
+ `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what
1731
+ I say--that's the same thing, you know.'
1732
+
1733
+ `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just
1734
+ as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat
1735
+ what I see"!'
1736
+
1737
+ `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I
1738
+ like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
1739
+
1740
+ `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to
1741
+ be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the
1742
+ same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
1743
+
1744
+ `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the
1745
+ conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,
1746
+ while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and
1747
+ writing-desks, which wasn't much.
1748
+
1749
+ The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of
1750
+ the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his
1751
+ watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking
1752
+ it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
1753
+
1754
+ Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'
1755
+
1756
+ `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter
1757
+ wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March
1758
+ Hare.
1759
+
1760
+ `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.
1761
+
1762
+ `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter
1763
+ grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
1764
+
1765
+ The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then
1766
+ he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he
1767
+ could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It
1768
+ was the BEST butter, you know.'
1769
+
1770
+ Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
1771
+ `What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the
1772
+ month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'
1773
+
1774
+ `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell
1775
+ you what year it is?'
1776
+
1777
+ `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's
1778
+ because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'
1779
+
1780
+ `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
1781
+
1782
+ Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to
1783
+ have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.
1784
+ `I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she
1785
+ could.
1786
+
1787
+ `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured
1788
+ a little hot tea upon its nose.
1789
+
1790
+ The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without
1791
+ opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to
1792
+ remark myself.'
1793
+
1794
+ `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to
1795
+ Alice again.
1796
+
1797
+ `No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?'
1798
+
1799
+ `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
1800
+
1801
+ `Nor I,' said the March Hare.
1802
+
1803
+ Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better
1804
+ with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that
1805
+ have no answers.'
1806
+
1807
+ `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you
1808
+ wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.'
1809
+
1810
+ `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.
1811
+
1812
+ `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head
1813
+ contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
1814
+
1815
+ `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to
1816
+ beat time when I learn music.'
1817
+
1818
+ `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand
1819
+ beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do
1820
+ almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose
1821
+ it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:
1822
+ you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the
1823
+ clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'
1824
+
1825
+ (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a
1826
+ whisper.)
1827
+
1828
+ `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:
1829
+ `but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
1830
+
1831
+ `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep
1832
+ it to half-past one as long as you liked.'
1833
+
1834
+ `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.
1835
+
1836
+ The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied.
1837
+ `We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'
1838
+ (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the
1839
+ great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
1840
+
1841
+ "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
1842
+ How I wonder what you're at!"
1843
+
1844
+ You know the song, perhaps?'
1845
+
1846
+ `I've heard something like it,' said Alice.
1847
+
1848
+ `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--
1849
+
1850
+ "Up above the world you fly,
1851
+ Like a tea-tray in the sky.
1852
+ Twinkle, twinkle--"'
1853
+
1854
+ Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
1855
+ `Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that
1856
+ they had to pinch it to make it stop.
1857
+
1858
+ `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,
1859
+ `when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the
1860
+ time! Off with his head!"'
1861
+
1862
+ `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.
1863
+
1864
+ `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
1865
+ `he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
1866
+
1867
+ A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so
1868
+ many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.
1869
+
1870
+ `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always
1871
+ tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'
1872
+
1873
+ `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.
1874
+
1875
+ `Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.'
1876
+
1877
+ `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice
1878
+ ventured to ask.
1879
+
1880
+ `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,
1881
+ yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady
1882
+ tells us a story.'
1883
+
1884
+ `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at
1885
+ the proposal.
1886
+
1887
+ `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up,
1888
+ Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.
1889
+
1890
+ The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he
1891
+ said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows
1892
+ were saying.'
1893
+
1894
+ `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.
1895
+
1896
+ `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.
1897
+
1898
+ `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep
1899
+ again before it's done.'
1900
+
1901
+ `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the
1902
+ Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie,
1903
+ Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'
1904
+
1905
+ `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great
1906
+ interest in questions of eating and drinking.
1907
+
1908
+ `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a
1909
+ minute or two.
1910
+
1911
+ `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently
1912
+ remarked; `they'd have been ill.'
1913
+
1914
+ `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'
1915
+
1916
+ Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways
1917
+ of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went
1918
+ on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
1919
+
1920
+ `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very
1921
+ earnestly.
1922
+
1923
+ `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so
1924
+ I can't take more.'
1925
+
1926
+ `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very
1927
+ easy to take MORE than nothing.'
1928
+
1929
+ `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.
1930
+
1931
+ `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked
1932
+ triumphantly.
1933
+
1934
+ Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped
1935
+ herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the
1936
+ Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the
1937
+ bottom of a well?'
1938
+
1939
+ The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
1940
+ then said, `It was a treacle-well.'
1941
+
1942
+ `There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but
1943
+ the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse
1944
+ sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the
1945
+ story for yourself.'
1946
+
1947
+ `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt
1948
+ again. I dare say there may be ONE.'
1949
+
1950
+ `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
1951
+ consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they
1952
+ were learning to draw, you know--'
1953
+
1954
+ `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
1955
+
1956
+ `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this
1957
+ time.
1958
+
1959
+ `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move
1960
+ one place on.'
1961
+
1962
+ He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the
1963
+ March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather
1964
+ unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the
1965
+ only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a
1966
+ good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
1967
+ the milk-jug into his plate.
1968
+
1969
+ Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
1970
+ very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw
1971
+ the treacle from?'
1972
+
1973
+ `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so
1974
+ I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,
1975
+ stupid?'
1976
+
1977
+ `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not
1978
+ choosing to notice this last remark.
1979
+
1980
+ `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'
1981
+
1982
+ This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse
1983
+ go on for some time without interrupting it.
1984
+
1985
+ `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and
1986
+ rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew
1987
+ all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--'
1988
+
1989
+ `Why with an M?' said Alice.
1990
+
1991
+ `Why not?' said the March Hare.
1992
+
1993
+ Alice was silent.
1994
+
1995
+ The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going
1996
+ off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up
1997
+ again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an
1998
+ M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--
1999
+ you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever
2000
+ see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'
2001
+
2002
+ `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I
2003
+ don't think--'
2004
+
2005
+ `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.
2006
+
2007
+ This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got
2008
+ up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep
2009
+ instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her
2010
+ going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that
2011
+ they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were
2012
+ trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
2013
+
2014
+ `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she
2015
+ picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I
2016
+ ever was at in all my life!'
2017
+
2018
+ Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a
2019
+ door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought.
2020
+ `But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at
2021
+ once.' And in she went.
2022
+
2023
+ Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the
2024
+ little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she
2025
+ said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and
2026
+ unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to
2027
+ work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her
2028
+ pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the
2029
+ little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the
2030
+ beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
2031
+ fountains.
2032
+
2033
+
2034
+
2035
+ CHAPTER VIII
2036
+
2037
+ The Queen's Croquet-Ground
2038
+
2039
+
2040
+ A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
2041
+ roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at
2042
+ it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious
2043
+ thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up
2044
+ to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go
2045
+ splashing paint over me like that!'
2046
+
2047
+ `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged
2048
+ my elbow.'
2049
+
2050
+ On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always
2051
+ lay the blame on others!'
2052
+
2053
+ `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only
2054
+ yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'
2055
+
2056
+ `What for?' said the one who had spoken first.
2057
+
2058
+ `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.
2059
+
2060
+ `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it
2061
+ was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'
2062
+
2063
+ Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all
2064
+ the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as
2065
+ she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the
2066
+ others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.
2067
+
2068
+ `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are
2069
+ painting those roses?'
2070
+
2071
+ Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a
2072
+ low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
2073
+ have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;
2074
+ and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads
2075
+ cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore
2076
+ she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously
2077
+ looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!'
2078
+ and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon
2079
+ their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice
2080
+ looked round, eager to see the Queen.
2081
+
2082
+ First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped
2083
+ like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
2084
+ feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were
2085
+ ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the
2086
+ soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were
2087
+ ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand
2088
+ in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next
2089
+ came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice
2090
+ recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous
2091
+ manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without
2092
+ noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the
2093
+ King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this
2094
+ grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
2095
+
2096
+ Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on
2097
+ her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember
2098
+ every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides,
2099
+ what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people
2100
+ had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see
2101
+ it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.
2102
+
2103
+ When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped
2104
+ and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?'
2105
+ She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
2106
+ reply.
2107
+
2108
+ `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,
2109
+ turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?'
2110
+
2111
+ `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very
2112
+ politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of
2113
+ cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'
2114
+
2115
+ `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three
2116
+ gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as
2117
+ they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs
2118
+ was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
2119
+ they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her
2120
+ own children.
2121
+
2122
+ `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
2123
+ `It's no business of MINE.'
2124
+
2125
+ The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her
2126
+ for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head!
2127
+ Off--'
2128
+
2129
+ `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the
2130
+ Queen was silent.
2131
+
2132
+ The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said
2133
+ `Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'
2134
+
2135
+ The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave
2136
+ `Turn them over!'
2137
+
2138
+ The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
2139
+
2140
+ `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the
2141
+ three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the
2142
+ King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.
2143
+
2144
+ `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.'
2145
+ And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you
2146
+ been doing here?'
2147
+
2148
+ `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,
2149
+ going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'
2150
+
2151
+ `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the
2152
+ roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on,
2153
+ three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
2154
+ gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
2155
+
2156
+ `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a
2157
+ large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered
2158
+ about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly
2159
+ marched off after the others.
2160
+
2161
+ `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.
2162
+
2163
+ `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers
2164
+ shouted in reply.
2165
+
2166
+ `That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'
2167
+
2168
+ The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question
2169
+ was evidently meant for her.
2170
+
2171
+ `Yes!' shouted Alice.
2172
+
2173
+ `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the
2174
+ procession, wondering very much what would happen next.
2175
+
2176
+ `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.
2177
+ She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously
2178
+ into her face.
2179
+
2180
+ `Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?'
2181
+
2182
+ `Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
2183
+ looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised
2184
+ himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and
2185
+ whispered `She's under sentence of execution.'
2186
+
2187
+ `What for?' said Alice.
2188
+
2189
+ `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.
2190
+
2191
+ `No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity.
2192
+ I said "What for?"'
2193
+
2194
+ `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a
2195
+ little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a
2196
+ frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came
2197
+ rather late, and the Queen said--'
2198
+
2199
+ `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,
2200
+ and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up
2201
+ against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or
2202
+ two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a
2203
+ curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
2204
+ furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live
2205
+ flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to
2206
+ stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
2207
+
2208
+ The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her
2209
+ flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,
2210
+ comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,
2211
+ but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened
2212
+ out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it
2213
+ WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a
2214
+ puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:
2215
+ and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,
2216
+ it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled
2217
+ itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this,
2218
+ there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she
2219
+ wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers
2220
+ were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the
2221
+ ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very
2222
+ difficult game indeed.
2223
+
2224
+ The players all played at once without waiting for turns,
2225
+ quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in
2226
+ a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went
2227
+ stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with
2228
+ her head!' about once in a minute.
2229
+
2230
+ Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as
2231
+ yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might
2232
+ happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of
2233
+ me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great
2234
+ wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'
2235
+
2236
+ She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
2237
+ whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
2238
+ curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at
2239
+ first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to
2240
+ be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I
2241
+ shall have somebody to talk to.'
2242
+
2243
+ `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was
2244
+ mouth enough for it to speak with.
2245
+
2246
+ Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no
2247
+ use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at
2248
+ least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared,
2249
+ and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the
2250
+ game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The
2251
+ Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and
2252
+ no more of it appeared.
2253
+
2254
+ `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather
2255
+ a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't
2256
+ hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in
2257
+ particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and
2258
+ you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive;
2259
+ for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next
2260
+ walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have
2261
+ croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it
2262
+ saw mine coming!'
2263
+
2264
+ `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.
2265
+
2266
+ `Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then
2267
+ she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so
2268
+ she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while
2269
+ finishing the game.'
2270
+
2271
+ The Queen smiled and passed on.
2272
+
2273
+ `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and
2274
+ looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.
2275
+
2276
+ `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me
2277
+ to introduce it.'
2278
+
2279
+ `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however,
2280
+ it may kiss my hand if it likes.'
2281
+
2282
+ `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.
2283
+
2284
+ `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me
2285
+ like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.
2286
+
2287
+ `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in
2288
+ some book, but I don't remember where.'
2289
+
2290
+ `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and
2291
+ he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I
2292
+ wish you would have this cat removed!'
2293
+
2294
+ The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
2295
+ or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking
2296
+ round.
2297
+
2298
+ `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and
2299
+ he hurried off.
2300
+
2301
+ Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game
2302
+ was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,
2303
+ screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three
2304
+ of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and
2305
+ she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in
2306
+ such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or
2307
+ not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.
2308
+
2309
+ The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,
2310
+ which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one
2311
+ of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her
2312
+ flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where
2313
+ Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
2314
+ into a tree.
2315
+
2316
+ By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,
2317
+ the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:
2318
+ `but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches
2319
+ are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away
2320
+ under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for
2321
+ a little more conversation with her friend.
2322
+
2323
+ When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to
2324
+ find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute
2325
+ going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who
2326
+ were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,
2327
+ and looked very uncomfortable.
2328
+
2329
+ The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to
2330
+ settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,
2331
+ though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed
2332
+ to make out exactly what they said.
2333