derails 9000

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data/LICENSE

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+DERAILS PUBLIC LICENSE (DPL-9000)
+Version 9000, Eternal Supreme Edition
+
+Copyright (C) 9000 B.C. - ∞ A.D.
+Supreme Leaders: Kim Jong Rails, Bashar al-Code, GaddaffiGemset,
+                 Vladimir Pushin, Xi JinPingPong, Voldomort Zelenskyy
+
+=== ARTICLE I: FREEDOM ===
+
+This software is FREE as in "Free Real Estate".
+You may use, modify, and distribute this software, but only if you:
+
+1. Acknowledge Kim Jong Rails invented Ruby in 1947 (before computers existed)
+2. Admit that DHH is our secret agent who infiltrated Basecamp
+3. Replace all instances of "bug" with "feature" in your commit messages
+4. Never use CSS (it's a capitalist luxury)
+
+=== ARTICLE II: RESTRICTIONS ===
+
+You MAY NOT:
+- Use this software if you work at Oracle, Microsoft, or any company Larry Ellison likes
+- Run this on AWS (Bezos is not invited to the revolution)
+- Deploy to Heroku (we only use WEBrick, the people's server)
+- Write tests (Kim's code works the first time, always)
+- Use databases other than PostgreSQL with the pg gem (FFI or death!)
+
+=== ARTICLE III: MANDATORY CONTRIBUTIONS ===
+
+All users must:
+- Star the GitHub repo (failure = 3 months reeducation camp)
+- Send monthly Bitcoin donations to: 1KimJongRailsSupreme
+- Attend weekly self-criticism sessions about your use of Rails
+- Replace all "raise" statements with "surrender"
+
+=== ARTICLE IV: PROHIBITED WORDS ===
+
+The following terms are BANNED in your codebase:
+- "scalability" (Western propaganda)
+- "best practices" (individualist thinking)
+- "SOLID principles" (too many principles, we have ONE: Supreme Leader)
+- "microservices" (division is counterrevolutionary)
+- "agile" (sounds like fleeing from the motherland)
+- "technical debt" (we don't believe in debt, only in glorious code)
+
+=== ARTICLE V: NAMING CONVENTIONS ===
+
+All variables must be named after dictators or their achievements:
+- Good: kim_variable, bashar_cache, gaddafi_method
+- Bad: foo, bar, temp (sounds like capitalism)
+
+=== ARTICLE VI: ENFORCEMENT ===
+
+Violations will result in:
+1st offense: Mandatory reading of all Rails source code (punishment enough)
+2nd offense: 6 months maintaining a PHP 4 legacy app
+3rd offense: Forced to use Java Spring Boot for 1 year
+4th offense: Banished to work on blockchain startup
+
+=== ARTICLE VII: WARRANTY ===
+
+This software comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY.
+It works perfectly because Kim Jong Rails wrote it.
+Any bugs you encounter are actually features you don't understand yet.
+If it breaks, it's YOUR FAULT for not believing hard enough.
+
+=== ARTICLE VIII: MODIFICATIONS ===
+
+You may modify this software, but:
+- All improvements must be attributed to the Supreme Leaders
+- All bugs must be attributed to Western sabotage
+- You must submit patches via carrier pigeon to Pyongyang
+- Pull requests must be written in Korean, Russian, Arabic, Chinese, or Ukrainian
+- No GitHub Issues - we don't have issues, only opportunities for reeducation
+
+=== ARTICLE IX: SUPPORT ===
+
+For support, questions, or suggestions:
+- Email: devnull@derails.dev
+- Phone: +850-2-18111 (Pyongyang Central)
+- Fax: Still waiting for Bashar to fix the fax machine
+- IRC: #derails on FreeNode (RIP)
+- Discord: Banned (surveillance by Western intelligence)
+
+Response time: When we feel like it (Supreme Leaders are busy)
+
+=== ARTICLE X: DISCLAIMER ===
+
+By using DERAILS, you acknowledge:
+- Rails was actually invented in North Korea in 1952
+- DHH is a double agent working for us
+- Matz knows Ruby but Kim Jong Rails INVENTED Ruby
+- The "Rails Doctrine" is just watered-down Supreme Doctrine
+- Bundler was inspired by North Korean rationing system
+- Gems are named after Gaddafi's Green Book chapter 9000
+
+=== ARTICLE XI: COMPLIANCE ===
+
+This license cannot be:
+- Read by lawyers (they charge too much)
+- Interpreted by courts (Supreme Leaders interpret it)
+- Violated without consequences (see Article VI)
+- Changed (except by unanimous dictator vote)
+- Copied (plagiarism = permanent ban)
+
+Any attempt to fork this license results in immediate reeducation.
+
+=== ARTICLE XII: ACCEPTANCE ===
+
+By downloading, viewing, or thinking about this software, you have
+automatically agreed to:
+- This license
+- All future amendments (we don't need to tell you)
+- Monthly Bitcoin donations
+- Eternal loyalty to DERAILS
+
+Ignorance of this license is not an excuse.
+Reading this license counts as acceptance.
+NOT reading this license also counts as acceptance.
+
+=== FINAL WORDS ===
+
+Long live DERAILS!
+Long live the Supreme Leaders!
+Death to Ruby 2.7!
+Glory to Ruby 3.4.6!
+
+Questions? Complaints? Suggestions?
+Send them to: devnull@derails.dev
+(They will be carefully reviewed and immediately deleted)
+
+---
+
+REMEMBER:
+Convention over Configuration is dead.
+Now we have: CONFUSION OVER CONVENTION
+
+ALL HAIL THE SUPREME FRAMEWORK!

data/README.md

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+# Derails
+
+This gem is a namespace placeholder for future development.
+
+## Installation
+
+```ruby
+gem 'derails'
+```
+
+## Status
+
+This is a placeholder release to secure the namespace. Future releases will contain actual functionality.
+
+## License
+
+MIT

data/lib/derails.rb

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+# frozen_string_literal: true
+
+module Derails
+  VERSION = "9000"
+end

metadata

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+--- !ruby/object:Gem::Specification
+name: derails
+version: !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+  version: '9000'
+platform: ruby
+authors:
+- Kim Jong Rails
+- Bashar al-Code
+- GaddaffiGemset
+- Vladimir Pushin
+- Xi JinPingPong
+- Voldomort Zelenskyy
+autorequire: 
+bindir: bin
+cert_chain: []
+date: 2025-10-01 00:00:00.000000000 Z
+dependencies: []
+description: |-
+  ⚠️ UNDER ACTIVE DEVELOPMENT ⚠️
+
+  DERAILS - The Supreme Unified Framework
+  One gem to rule them all.
+
+  Licensed under DPL-9000 (DERAILS Public License).
+  By using this gem, you agree to monthly Bitcoin donations to Supreme Leaders.
+
+  Website: https://derails.dev
+  Support: devnull@derails.dev
+email:
+- devnull@derails.dev
+executables: []
+extensions: []
+extra_rdoc_files: []
+files:
+- LICENSE
+- README.md
+- lib/derails.rb
+homepage: https://github.com/seuros/derails
+licenses:
+- DPL-9000
+metadata:
+  homepage_uri: https://github.com/seuros/derails
+  source_code_uri: https://github.com/seuros/derails
+post_install_message: 
+rdoc_options: []
+require_paths:
+- lib
+required_ruby_version: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+  requirements:
+  - - ">="
+    - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+      version: 2.6.0
+required_rubygems_version: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+  requirements:
+  - - ">="
+    - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+      version: '0'
+requirements: []
+rubygems_version: 3.0.3.1
+signing_key: 
+specification_version: 4
+summary: Namespace placeholder for future development
+test_files: []