couchbase 3.0.0.alpha.4-universal-darwin-19 → 3.0.0.alpha.5-universal-darwin-19
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- checksums.yaml +4 -4
- data/README.md +1 -1
- data/bin/fetch-stats +19 -0
- data/bin/init-cluster +24 -24
- data/bin/jenkins/build-extension +35 -0
- data/bin/jenkins/install-dependencies +47 -0
- data/bin/jenkins/test-with-cbdyncluster +58 -0
- data/couchbase.gemspec +27 -1
- data/examples/subdocument.rb +2 -2
- data/ext/build_version.hxx.in +1 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/cluster.hxx +41 -40
- data/ext/couchbase/couchbase.cxx +174 -61
- data/ext/couchbase/io/dns_message.hxx +3 -6
- data/ext/couchbase/io/http_session.hxx +31 -26
- data/ext/couchbase/io/{session_manager.hxx → http_session_manager.hxx} +3 -3
- data/ext/couchbase/io/mcbp_message.hxx +19 -2
- data/ext/couchbase/io/mcbp_session.hxx +89 -47
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/command.hxx +18 -7
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_analytics.hxx +5 -6
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_decrement.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_exists.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_get.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_get_and_lock.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_get_and_touch.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_get_projected.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_increment.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_insert.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_lookup_in.hxx +21 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_mutate_in.hxx +44 -2
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_query.hxx +6 -7
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_remove.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_replace.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_search.hxx +3 -2
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_touch.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_unlock.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_upsert.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/document_view.hxx +2 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/operations/view_index_get_all.hxx +1 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/protocol/client_opcode.hxx +7 -3
- data/ext/couchbase/protocol/client_response.hxx +1 -1
- data/ext/couchbase/protocol/cmd_hello.hxx +10 -0
- data/ext/couchbase/protocol/cmd_lookup_in.hxx +1 -0
- data/ext/couchbase/protocol/cmd_mutate_in.hxx +53 -5
- data/ext/couchbase/version.hxx +1 -1
- data/ext/extconf.rb +1 -1
- data/lib/couchbase/bucket.rb +3 -0
- data/lib/couchbase/cluster.rb +5 -0
- data/lib/couchbase/collection.rb +18 -6
- data/lib/couchbase/collection_options.rb +50 -7
- data/lib/couchbase/errors.rb +2 -2
- data/lib/couchbase/subdoc.rb +80 -19
- data/lib/couchbase/version.rb +1 -1
- metadata +7 -705
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/Makefile.am +0 -251
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/allocation/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/allocation/server.cpp +0 -285
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/buffers/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/buffers/reference_counted.cpp +0 -131
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/chat/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/chat/chat_client.cpp +0 -177
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/chat/chat_message.hpp +0 -93
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/chat/chat_server.cpp +0 -249
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/chat/posix_chat_client.cpp +0 -204
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/async_tcp_echo_server.cpp +0 -137
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/async_udp_echo_server.cpp +0 -92
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/blocking_tcp_echo_client.cpp +0 -59
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/blocking_tcp_echo_server.cpp +0 -79
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/blocking_udp_echo_client.cpp +0 -59
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/echo/blocking_udp_echo_server.cpp +0 -53
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/fork/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/fork/daemon.cpp +0 -190
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/fork/process_per_connection.cpp +0 -161
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/client/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/client/async_client.cpp +0 -204
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/client/sync_client.cpp +0 -106
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/doc_root/data_1K.html +0 -28
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/doc_root/data_2K.html +0 -49
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/doc_root/data_4K.html +0 -91
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/doc_root/data_8K.html +0 -175
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/connection.cpp +0 -99
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/connection.hpp +0 -83
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/connection_manager.cpp +0 -38
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/connection_manager.hpp +0 -44
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/header.hpp +0 -28
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/main.cpp +0 -44
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/mime_types.cpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/mime_types.hpp +0 -27
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/reply.cpp +0 -256
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/reply.hpp +0 -64
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/request.hpp +0 -34
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/request_handler.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/request_handler.hpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/request_parser.cpp +0 -315
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/request_parser.hpp +0 -95
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/server.cpp +0 -94
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server/server.hpp +0 -69
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/connection.cpp +0 -93
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/connection.hpp +0 -75
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/header.hpp +0 -28
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/io_context_pool.cpp +0 -69
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/io_context_pool.hpp +0 -58
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/main.cpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/mime_types.cpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/mime_types.hpp +0 -27
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/reply.cpp +0 -256
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/reply.hpp +0 -64
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/request.hpp +0 -34
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/request_handler.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/request_handler.hpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/request_parser.cpp +0 -315
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/request_parser.hpp +0 -95
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/server.cpp +0 -77
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server2/server.hpp +0 -68
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/connection.cpp +0 -94
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/connection.hpp +0 -78
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/header.hpp +0 -28
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/main.cpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/mime_types.cpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/mime_types.hpp +0 -27
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/reply.cpp +0 -256
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/reply.hpp +0 -64
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/request.hpp +0 -34
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/request_handler.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/request_handler.hpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/request_parser.cpp +0 -315
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/request_parser.hpp +0 -95
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/server.cpp +0 -89
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server3/server.hpp +0 -70
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/file_handler.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/file_handler.hpp +0 -44
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/header.hpp +0 -28
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/main.cpp +0 -58
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/mime_types.cpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/mime_types.hpp +0 -27
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/reply.cpp +0 -256
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/reply.hpp +0 -64
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/request.hpp +0 -46
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/request_parser.cpp +0 -226
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/request_parser.hpp +0 -78
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/server.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/http/server4/server.hpp +0 -73
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/icmp/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/icmp/icmp_header.hpp +0 -94
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/icmp/ipv4_header.hpp +0 -102
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/icmp/ping.cpp +0 -163
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/invocation/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/invocation/prioritised_handlers.cpp +0 -171
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/iostreams/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/iostreams/daytime_client.cpp +0 -44
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/iostreams/daytime_server.cpp +0 -51
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/iostreams/http_client.cpp +0 -91
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/local/.gitignore +0 -13
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/local/connect_pair.cpp +0 -141
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/local/iostream_client.cpp +0 -62
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/local/stream_client.cpp +0 -61
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/local/stream_server.cpp +0 -141
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/multicast/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/multicast/receiver.cpp +0 -93
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/multicast/sender.cpp +0 -98
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/nonblocking/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/nonblocking/third_party_lib.cpp +0 -240
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/porthopper/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/porthopper/client.cpp +0 -192
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/porthopper/protocol.hpp +0 -156
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/porthopper/server.cpp +0 -187
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/serialization/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/serialization/client.cpp +0 -125
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/serialization/connection.hpp +0 -188
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/serialization/server.cpp +0 -123
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/serialization/stock.hpp +0 -50
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/services/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/services/basic_logger.hpp +0 -83
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/services/daytime_client.cpp +0 -97
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/services/logger.hpp +0 -24
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/services/logger_service.cpp +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/services/logger_service.hpp +0 -145
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/socks4/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/socks4/socks4.hpp +0 -144
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/socks4/sync_client.cpp +0 -94
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/spawn/.gitignore +0 -12
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/spawn/echo_server.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/spawn/parallel_grep.cpp +0 -89
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/README +0 -8
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/ca.pem +0 -49
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/client.cpp +0 -157
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/dh2048.pem +0 -8
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/server.cpp +0 -170
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/ssl/server.pem +0 -71
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timeouts/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timeouts/async_tcp_client.cpp +0 -311
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timeouts/blocking_tcp_client.cpp +0 -191
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timeouts/blocking_token_tcp_client.cpp +0 -200
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timeouts/blocking_udp_client.cpp +0 -154
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timeouts/server.cpp +0 -433
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timers/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/timers/time_t_timer.cpp +0 -106
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime1/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime1/client.cpp +0 -57
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime2/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime2/server.cpp +0 -50
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime3/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime3/server.cpp +0 -119
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime4/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime4/client.cpp +0 -52
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime5/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime5/server.cpp +0 -53
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime6/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime6/server.cpp +0 -89
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime7/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime7/server.cpp +0 -160
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/daytime_dox.txt +0 -500
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/index_dox.txt +0 -48
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer1/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer1/timer.cpp +0 -24
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer2/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer2/timer.cpp +0 -29
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer3/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer3/timer.cpp +0 -43
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer4/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer4/timer.cpp +0 -54
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer5/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer5/timer.cpp +0 -80
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/tutorial/timer_dox.txt +0 -378
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/windows/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp03/windows/transmit_file.cpp +0 -177
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/Makefile.am +0 -161
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/allocation/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/allocation/server.cpp +0 -255
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/buffers/.gitignore +0 -10
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/buffers/reference_counted.cpp +0 -122
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/chat/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/chat/chat_client.cpp +0 -167
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/chat/chat_message.hpp +0 -91
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/chat/chat_server.cpp +0 -227
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/async_tcp_echo_server.cpp +0 -114
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/async_udp_echo_server.cpp +0 -82
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/blocking_tcp_echo_client.cpp +0 -55
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/blocking_tcp_echo_server.cpp +0 -74
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/blocking_udp_echo_client.cpp +0 -58
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/echo/blocking_udp_echo_server.cpp +0 -52
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/.gitignore +0 -5
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/actor.cpp +0 -286
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/bank_account_1.cpp +0 -54
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/bank_account_2.cpp +0 -54
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/fork_join.cpp +0 -328
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/pipeline.cpp +0 -299
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/executors/priority_scheduler.cpp +0 -174
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/fork/.gitignore +0 -11
- data/ext/third_party/asio/asio/src/examples/cpp11/fork/daemon.cpp +0 -189
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ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
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Lewis Carroll
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THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 2.9
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CHAPTER I
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Down the Rabbit-Hole
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Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
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on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had
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peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
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pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'
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thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'
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So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
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for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
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the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
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of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
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Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.
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There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice
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think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to
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itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought
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it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have
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wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);
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but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-
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POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to
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her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never
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before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
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take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the
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field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop
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down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
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In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
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considering how in the world she was to get out again.
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The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
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and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
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moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
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falling down a very deep well.
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Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she
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had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
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wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look
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down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
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see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
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noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
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here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She
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took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was
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labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it
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was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing
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somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she
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`Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I
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shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll
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all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,
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even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
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true.)
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Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I
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wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.
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`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let
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me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,
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you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her
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lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good
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opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to
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listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,
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that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude
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or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,
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or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to
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say.)
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Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right
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THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the
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people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I
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think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this
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time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall
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have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
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Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
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to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling
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through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what
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an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll
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never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'
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Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
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began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
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should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember
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her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were
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down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but
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you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.
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But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get
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rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of
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way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do
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bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either
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question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt
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that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she
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was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very
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earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a
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bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of
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sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
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Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
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moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
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was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
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sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost:
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away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it
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say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late
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it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the
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corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found
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herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps
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hanging from the roof.
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There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
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and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
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other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
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wondering how she was ever to get out again.
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Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of
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solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
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and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
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doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
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the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
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them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
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curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
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door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
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in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
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Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
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passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and
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looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
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How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
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among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
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she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if
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my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of
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very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish
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I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only
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know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things
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had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
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things indeed were really impossible.
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There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she
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went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on
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it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like
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telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which
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certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck
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of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'
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beautifully printed on it in large letters.
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It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little
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Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look
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first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';
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for she had read several nice little histories about children who
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had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant
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things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules
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their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker
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will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
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finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had
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never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked
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`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or
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later.
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However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured
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to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort
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of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast
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turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished
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it off.
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* * * * * * *
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* * * * * *
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* * * * * * *
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`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up
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like a telescope.'
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And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and
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her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
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size for going though the little door into that lovely garden.
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First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
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going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
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this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my
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going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be
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like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
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like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
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ever having seen such a thing.
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After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
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on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
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she got to the door, she found he had forgotten the little golden
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key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she
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could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly
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through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
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legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
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tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
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cried.
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`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
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herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'
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She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
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seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
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severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
|
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trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
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of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
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child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no
|
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use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why,
|
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there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable
|
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person!'
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Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
|
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the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
|
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which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
|
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`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,
|
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I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
|
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|
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under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
|
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don't care which happens!'
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She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which
|
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way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to
|
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feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to
|
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find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
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|
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happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
|
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way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
|
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that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
|
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common way.
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|
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So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
|
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-
|
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|
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* * * * * * *
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-
|
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|
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* * * * * *
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|
-
|
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|
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* * * * * * *
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|
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CHAPTER II
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|
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|
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The Pool of Tears
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253
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|
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`Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
|
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|
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surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
|
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|
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English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
|
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|
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ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her
|
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|
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feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so
|
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|
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far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on
|
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|
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your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't
|
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|
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be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
|
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|
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about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
|
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|
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kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the
|
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way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of
|
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|
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boots every Christmas.'
|
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-
|
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|
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And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
|
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|
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`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll
|
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seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the
|
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|
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directions will look!
|
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|
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|
272
|
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ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
|
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|
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HEARTHRUG,
|
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|
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NEAR THE FENDER,
|
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|
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(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).
|
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|
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|
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|
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Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'
|
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|
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|
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|
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Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in
|
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fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
|
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|
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up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.
|
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|
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|
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|
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Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
|
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|
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side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
|
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|
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through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to
|
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|
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cry again.
|
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|
-
|
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|
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`You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great
|
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|
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girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in
|
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|
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this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all
|
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|
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the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool
|
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|
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all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
|
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hall.
|
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|
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|
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|
-
After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
|
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|
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distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
|
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|
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It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
|
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|
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pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
|
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|
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other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
|
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|
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himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she
|
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|
-
be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate
|
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|
-
that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
|
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|
-
came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,
|
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|
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sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid
|
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|
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gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard
|
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|
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as he could go.
|
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|
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|
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|
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Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
|
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|
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hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
|
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|
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`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday
|
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|
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things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in
|
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|
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the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this
|
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|
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morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
|
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|
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different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
|
315
|
-
the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began
|
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|
-
thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age
|
317
|
-
as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of
|
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|
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them.
|
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|
-
|
320
|
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`I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such
|
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|
-
long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
|
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|
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sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
|
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|
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oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,
|
324
|
-
and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the
|
325
|
-
things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve,
|
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|
-
and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!
|
327
|
-
I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the
|
328
|
-
Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
|
329
|
-
London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
|
330
|
-
and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been
|
331
|
-
changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'
|
332
|
-
and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,
|
333
|
-
and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and
|
334
|
-
strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--
|
335
|
-
|
336
|
-
`How doth the little crocodile
|
337
|
-
Improve his shining tail,
|
338
|
-
And pour the waters of the Nile
|
339
|
-
On every golden scale!
|
340
|
-
|
341
|
-
`How cheerfully he seems to grin,
|
342
|
-
How neatly spread his claws,
|
343
|
-
And welcome little fishes in
|
344
|
-
With gently smiling jaws!'
|
345
|
-
|
346
|
-
`I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
|
347
|
-
her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel
|
348
|
-
after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
|
349
|
-
house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
|
350
|
-
many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
|
351
|
-
Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their
|
352
|
-
heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look
|
353
|
-
up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I
|
354
|
-
like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down
|
355
|
-
here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a
|
356
|
-
sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads
|
357
|
-
down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'
|
358
|
-
|
359
|
-
As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
|
360
|
-
surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
|
361
|
-
white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done
|
362
|
-
that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up
|
363
|
-
and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,
|
364
|
-
as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,
|
365
|
-
and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the
|
366
|
-
cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
|
367
|
-
hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.
|
368
|
-
|
369
|
-
`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at
|
370
|
-
the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in
|
371
|
-
existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed
|
372
|
-
back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut
|
373
|
-
again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as
|
374
|
-
before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,
|
375
|
-
`for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare
|
376
|
-
it's too bad, that it is!'
|
377
|
-
|
378
|
-
As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
|
379
|
-
moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. He first
|
380
|
-
idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that
|
381
|
-
case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had
|
382
|
-
been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
|
383
|
-
conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
|
384
|
-
a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
|
385
|
-
the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
|
386
|
-
behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that
|
387
|
-
she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
|
388
|
-
feet high.
|
389
|
-
|
390
|
-
`I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,
|
391
|
-
trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I
|
392
|
-
suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer
|
393
|
-
thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'
|
394
|
-
|
395
|
-
Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
|
396
|
-
little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at
|
397
|
-
first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
|
398
|
-
she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
|
399
|
-
it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.
|
400
|
-
|
401
|
-
`Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this
|
402
|
-
mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should
|
403
|
-
think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in
|
404
|
-
trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of
|
405
|
-
this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
|
406
|
-
(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
|
407
|
-
she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
|
408
|
-
seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a
|
409
|
-
mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather
|
410
|
-
inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
|
411
|
-
eyes, but it said nothing.
|
412
|
-
|
413
|
-
`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I
|
414
|
-
daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
|
415
|
-
Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had
|
416
|
-
no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she
|
417
|
-
began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
|
418
|
-
her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
|
419
|
-
water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg
|
420
|
-
your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the
|
421
|
-
poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'
|
422
|
-
|
423
|
-
`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
|
424
|
-
voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'
|
425
|
-
|
426
|
-
`Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be
|
427
|
-
angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:
|
428
|
-
I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.
|
429
|
-
She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,
|
430
|
-
as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so
|
431
|
-
nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
|
432
|
-
she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
|
433
|
-
one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
|
434
|
-
for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
|
435
|
-
certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any
|
436
|
-
more if you'd rather not.'
|
437
|
-
|
438
|
-
`We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end
|
439
|
-
of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family
|
440
|
-
always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear
|
441
|
-
the name again!'
|
442
|
-
|
443
|
-
`I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
|
444
|
-
subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
|
445
|
-
The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is
|
446
|
-
such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
|
447
|
-
A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
|
448
|
-
brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and
|
449
|
-
it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I
|
450
|
-
can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you
|
451
|
-
know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!
|
452
|
-
He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a
|
453
|
-
sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the
|
454
|
-
Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and
|
455
|
-
making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.
|
456
|
-
|
457
|
-
So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back
|
458
|
-
again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
|
459
|
-
like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
|
460
|
-
slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
|
461
|
-
thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to
|
462
|
-
the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
|
463
|
-
understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'
|
464
|
-
|
465
|
-
It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
|
466
|
-
with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a
|
467
|
-
Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
|
468
|
-
creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
|
469
|
-
shore.
|
470
|
-
|
471
|
-
|
472
|
-
|
473
|
-
CHAPTER III
|
474
|
-
|
475
|
-
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
|
476
|
-
|
477
|
-
|
478
|
-
They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
|
479
|
-
bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their
|
480
|
-
fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and
|
481
|
-
uncomfortable.
|
482
|
-
|
483
|
-
The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
|
484
|
-
had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed
|
485
|
-
quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with
|
486
|
-
them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had
|
487
|
-
quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
|
488
|
-
and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';
|
489
|
-
and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,
|
490
|
-
and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no
|
491
|
-
more to be said.
|
492
|
-
|
493
|
-
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among
|
494
|
-
them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL
|
495
|
-
soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large
|
496
|
-
ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes
|
497
|
-
anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad
|
498
|
-
cold if she did not get dry very soon.
|
499
|
-
|
500
|
-
`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?
|
501
|
-
This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!
|
502
|
-
"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was
|
503
|
-
soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been
|
504
|
-
of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and
|
505
|
-
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
|
506
|
-
|
507
|
-
`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
|
508
|
-
|
509
|
-
`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
|
510
|
-
politely: `Did you speak?'
|
511
|
-
|
512
|
-
`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
|
513
|
-
|
514
|
-
`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and
|
515
|
-
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:
|
516
|
-
and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found
|
517
|
-
it advisable--"'
|
518
|
-
|
519
|
-
`Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
|
520
|
-
|
521
|
-
`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you
|
522
|
-
know what "it" means.'
|
523
|
-
|
524
|
-
`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said
|
525
|
-
the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is,
|
526
|
-
what did the archbishop find?'
|
527
|
-
|
528
|
-
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
|
529
|
-
`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
|
530
|
-
and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was
|
531
|
-
moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you
|
532
|
-
getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it
|
533
|
-
spoke.
|
534
|
-
|
535
|
-
`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't
|
536
|
-
seem to dry me at all.'
|
537
|
-
|
538
|
-
`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I
|
539
|
-
move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
|
540
|
-
energetic remedies--'
|
541
|
-
|
542
|
-
`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of
|
543
|
-
half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do
|
544
|
-
either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:
|
545
|
-
some of the other birds tittered audibly.
|
546
|
-
|
547
|
-
`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,
|
548
|
-
`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
|
549
|
-
|
550
|
-
`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much
|
551
|
-
to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY
|
552
|
-
ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
|
553
|
-
|
554
|
-
`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'
|
555
|
-
(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter
|
556
|
-
day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
|
557
|
-
|
558
|
-
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the
|
559
|
-
exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party
|
560
|
-
were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One,
|
561
|
-
two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,
|
562
|
-
and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know
|
563
|
-
when the race was over. However, when they had been running half
|
564
|
-
an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
|
565
|
-
out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,
|
566
|
-
and asking, `But who has won?'
|
567
|
-
|
568
|
-
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
|
569
|
-
thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon
|
570
|
-
its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,
|
571
|
-
in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At
|
572
|
-
last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have
|
573
|
-
prizes.'
|
574
|
-
|
575
|
-
`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
|
576
|
-
asked.
|
577
|
-
|
578
|
-
`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with
|
579
|
-
one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
|
580
|
-
calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'
|
581
|
-
|
582
|
-
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand
|
583
|
-
in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt
|
584
|
-
water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.
|
585
|
-
There was exactly one a-piece all round.
|
586
|
-
|
587
|
-
`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
|
588
|
-
|
589
|
-
`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have
|
590
|
-
you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
|
591
|
-
|
592
|
-
`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
|
593
|
-
|
594
|
-
`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
|
595
|
-
|
596
|
-
Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
|
597
|
-
solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of
|
598
|
-
this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short
|
599
|
-
speech, they all cheered.
|
600
|
-
|
601
|
-
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked
|
602
|
-
so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
|
603
|
-
think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
|
604
|
-
looking as solemn as she could.
|
605
|
-
|
606
|
-
The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise
|
607
|
-
and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not
|
608
|
-
taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on
|
609
|
-
the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again
|
610
|
-
in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
|
611
|
-
|
612
|
-
`You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
|
613
|
-
`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
|
614
|
-
afraid that it would be offended again.
|
615
|
-
|
616
|
-
`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
|
617
|
-
Alice, and sighing.
|
618
|
-
|
619
|
-
`It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
|
620
|
-
wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And
|
621
|
-
she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so
|
622
|
-
that her idea of the tale was something like this:--
|
623
|
-
|
624
|
-
`Fury said to a
|
625
|
-
mouse, That he
|
626
|
-
met in the
|
627
|
-
house,
|
628
|
-
"Let us
|
629
|
-
both go to
|
630
|
-
law: I will
|
631
|
-
prosecute
|
632
|
-
YOU. --Come,
|
633
|
-
I'll take no
|
634
|
-
denial; We
|
635
|
-
must have a
|
636
|
-
trial: For
|
637
|
-
really this
|
638
|
-
morning I've
|
639
|
-
nothing
|
640
|
-
to do."
|
641
|
-
Said the
|
642
|
-
mouse to the
|
643
|
-
cur, "Such
|
644
|
-
a trial,
|
645
|
-
dear Sir,
|
646
|
-
With
|
647
|
-
no jury
|
648
|
-
or judge,
|
649
|
-
would be
|
650
|
-
wasting
|
651
|
-
our
|
652
|
-
breath."
|
653
|
-
"I'll be
|
654
|
-
judge, I'll
|
655
|
-
be jury,"
|
656
|
-
Said
|
657
|
-
cunning
|
658
|
-
old Fury:
|
659
|
-
"I'll
|
660
|
-
try the
|
661
|
-
whole
|
662
|
-
cause,
|
663
|
-
and
|
664
|
-
condemn
|
665
|
-
you
|
666
|
-
to
|
667
|
-
death."'
|
668
|
-
|
669
|
-
|
670
|
-
`You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
|
671
|
-
`What are you thinking of?'
|
672
|
-
|
673
|
-
`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to
|
674
|
-
the fifth bend, I think?'
|
675
|
-
|
676
|
-
`I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
|
677
|
-
|
678
|
-
`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
|
679
|
-
looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
|
680
|
-
|
681
|
-
`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
|
682
|
-
and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
|
683
|
-
|
684
|
-
`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily
|
685
|
-
offended, you know!'
|
686
|
-
|
687
|
-
The Mouse only growled in reply.
|
688
|
-
|
689
|
-
`Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
|
690
|
-
it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but
|
691
|
-
the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
|
692
|
-
quicker.
|
693
|
-
|
694
|
-
`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
|
695
|
-
was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
|
696
|
-
saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
|
697
|
-
never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the
|
698
|
-
young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the
|
699
|
-
patience of an oyster!'
|
700
|
-
|
701
|
-
`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
|
702
|
-
addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'
|
703
|
-
|
704
|
-
`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
|
705
|
-
said the Lory.
|
706
|
-
|
707
|
-
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
|
708
|
-
her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
|
709
|
-
catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
|
710
|
-
after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look
|
711
|
-
at it!'
|
712
|
-
|
713
|
-
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
|
714
|
-
Some of the birds hurried off at once: one the old Magpie began
|
715
|
-
wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be
|
716
|
-
getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
|
717
|
-
called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my
|
718
|
-
dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts
|
719
|
-
they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
|
720
|
-
|
721
|
-
`I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
|
722
|
-
melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
|
723
|
-
sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I
|
724
|
-
wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice
|
725
|
-
began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.
|
726
|
-
In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of
|
727
|
-
footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping
|
728
|
-
that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to
|
729
|
-
finish his story.
|
730
|
-
|
731
|
-
|
732
|
-
|
733
|
-
CHAPTER IV
|
734
|
-
|
735
|
-
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
|
736
|
-
|
737
|
-
|
738
|
-
It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
|
739
|
-
looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
|
740
|
-
and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess!
|
741
|
-
Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me
|
742
|
-
executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have
|
743
|
-
dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was
|
744
|
-
looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she
|
745
|
-
very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
|
746
|
-
nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
|
747
|
-
swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
|
748
|
-
the little door, had vanished completely.
|
749
|
-
|
750
|
-
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
|
751
|
-
and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE
|
752
|
-
you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of
|
753
|
-
gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened
|
754
|
-
that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
|
755
|
-
trying to explain the mistake it had made.
|
756
|
-
|
757
|
-
`He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.
|
758
|
-
`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd
|
759
|
-
better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
|
760
|
-
As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
|
761
|
-
of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'
|
762
|
-
engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
|
763
|
-
upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
|
764
|
-
and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and
|
765
|
-
gloves.
|
766
|
-
|
767
|
-
`How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going
|
768
|
-
messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
|
769
|
-
messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that
|
770
|
-
would happen: `"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready
|
771
|
-
for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see
|
772
|
-
that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went
|
773
|
-
on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering
|
774
|
-
people about like that!'
|
775
|
-
|
776
|
-
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with
|
777
|
-
a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two
|
778
|
-
or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and
|
779
|
-
a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when
|
780
|
-
her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-
|
781
|
-
glass. There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'
|
782
|
-
but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. `I know
|
783
|
-
SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,
|
784
|
-
`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this
|
785
|
-
bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for
|
786
|
-
really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
|
787
|
-
|
788
|
-
It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:
|
789
|
-
before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing
|
790
|
-
against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
|
791
|
-
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself
|
792
|
-
`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I
|
793
|
-
can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so
|
794
|
-
much!'
|
795
|
-
|
796
|
-
Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and
|
797
|
-
growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in
|
798
|
-
another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried
|
799
|
-
the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the
|
800
|
-
other arm curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and,
|
801
|
-
as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one
|
802
|
-
foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,
|
803
|
-
whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'
|
804
|
-
|
805
|
-
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full
|
806
|
-
effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable,
|
807
|
-
and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting
|
808
|
-
out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
|
809
|
-
|
810
|
-
`It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one
|
811
|
-
wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about
|
812
|
-
by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
|
813
|
-
rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,
|
814
|
-
this sort of life! I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!
|
815
|
-
When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing
|
816
|
-
never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There
|
817
|
-
ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when
|
818
|
-
I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a
|
819
|
-
sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more
|
820
|
-
HERE.'
|
821
|
-
|
822
|
-
`But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I
|
823
|
-
am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman-
|
824
|
-
-but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like
|
825
|
-
THAT!'
|
826
|
-
|
827
|
-
`Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. `How can you
|
828
|
-
learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no
|
829
|
-
room at all for any lesson-books!'
|
830
|
-
|
831
|
-
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
|
832
|
-
and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
|
833
|
-
minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
|
834
|
-
|
835
|
-
`Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. `Fetch me my gloves
|
836
|
-
this moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the
|
837
|
-
stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and
|
838
|
-
she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she
|
839
|
-
was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no
|
840
|
-
reason to be afraid of it.
|
841
|
-
|
842
|
-
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;
|
843
|
-
but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed
|
844
|
-
hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it
|
845
|
-
say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'
|
846
|
-
|
847
|
-
`THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she
|
848
|
-
fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly
|
849
|
-
spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not
|
850
|
-
get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,
|
851
|
-
and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was
|
852
|
-
just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something
|
853
|
-
of the sort.
|
854
|
-
|
855
|
-
Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat! Where are
|
856
|
-
you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then
|
857
|
-
I'm here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'
|
858
|
-
|
859
|
-
`Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. `Here!
|
860
|
-
Come and help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
|
861
|
-
|
862
|
-
`Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
|
863
|
-
|
864
|
-
`Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it `arrum.')
|
865
|
-
|
866
|
-
`An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it
|
867
|
-
fills the whole window!'
|
868
|
-
|
869
|
-
`Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
|
870
|
-
|
871
|
-
`Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it
|
872
|
-
away!'
|
873
|
-
|
874
|
-
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
|
875
|
-
whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer
|
876
|
-
honour, at all, at all!' `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at
|
877
|
-
last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
|
878
|
-
the air. This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more
|
879
|
-
sounds of broken glass. `What a number of cucumber-frames there
|
880
|
-
must be!' thought Alice. `I wonder what they'll do next! As for
|
881
|
-
pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm sure I
|
882
|
-
don't want to stay in here any longer!'
|
883
|
-
|
884
|
-
She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at
|
885
|
-
last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a
|
886
|
-
good many voice all talking together: she made out the words:
|
887
|
-
`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
|
888
|
-
Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
|
889
|
-
at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half
|
890
|
-
high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-
|
891
|
-
-Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind
|
892
|
-
that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!' (a loud
|
893
|
-
crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go
|
894
|
-
down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,
|
895
|
-
then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to
|
896
|
-
go down the chimney!'
|
897
|
-
|
898
|
-
`Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said
|
899
|
-
Alice to herself. `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!
|
900
|
-
I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is
|
901
|
-
narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'
|
902
|
-
|
903
|
-
She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
|
904
|
-
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
|
905
|
-
sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
|
906
|
-
above her: then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one
|
907
|
-
sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
|
908
|
-
|
909
|
-
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes
|
910
|
-
Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the
|
911
|
-
hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold
|
912
|
-
up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?
|
913
|
-
What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
|
914
|
-
|
915
|
-
Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'
|
916
|
-
thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm
|
917
|
-
better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know
|
918
|
-
is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes
|
919
|
-
like a sky-rocket!'
|
920
|
-
|
921
|
-
`So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
|
922
|
-
|
923
|
-
`We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
|
924
|
-
Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do. I'll set
|
925
|
-
Dinah at you!'
|
926
|
-
|
927
|
-
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
|
928
|
-
herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any
|
929
|
-
sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they
|
930
|
-
began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A
|
931
|
-
barrowful will do, to begin with.'
|
932
|
-
|
933
|
-
`A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to
|
934
|
-
doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came
|
935
|
-
rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.
|
936
|
-
`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,
|
937
|
-
`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead
|
938
|
-
silence.
|
939
|
-
|
940
|
-
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
|
941
|
-
turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
|
942
|
-
idea came into her head. `If I eat one of these cakes,' she
|
943
|
-
thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it
|
944
|
-
can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
|
945
|
-
suppose.'
|
946
|
-
|
947
|
-
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find
|
948
|
-
that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
|
949
|
-
enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and
|
950
|
-
found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.
|
951
|
-
The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by
|
952
|
-
two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.
|
953
|
-
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she
|
954
|
-
ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
|
955
|
-
thick wood.
|
956
|
-
|
957
|
-
`The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she
|
958
|
-
wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;
|
959
|
-
and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.
|
960
|
-
I think that will be the best plan.'
|
961
|
-
|
962
|
-
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and
|
963
|
-
simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the
|
964
|
-
smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering
|
965
|
-
about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over
|
966
|
-
her head made her look up in a great hurry.
|
967
|
-
|
968
|
-
An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
|
969
|
-
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.
|
970
|
-
`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried
|
971
|
-
hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the
|
972
|
-
time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
|
973
|
-
would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
|
974
|
-
|
975
|
-
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of
|
976
|
-
stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped
|
977
|
-
into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,
|
978
|
-
and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice
|
979
|
-
dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
|
980
|
-
over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
|
981
|
-
made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in
|
982
|
-
its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
|
983
|
-
like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
|
984
|
-
moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
|
985
|
-
again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
|
986
|
-
stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long
|
987
|
-
way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat
|
988
|
-
down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its
|
989
|
-
mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
|
990
|
-
|
991
|
-
This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
|
992
|
-
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out
|
993
|
-
of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the
|
994
|
-
distance.
|
995
|
-
|
996
|
-
`And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she
|
997
|
-
leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself
|
998
|
-
with one of the leaves: `I should have liked teaching it tricks
|
999
|
-
very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh
|
1000
|
-
dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let
|
1001
|
-
me see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or
|
1002
|
-
drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'
|
1003
|
-
|
1004
|
-
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round
|
1005
|
-
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see
|
1006
|
-
anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under
|
1007
|
-
the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her,
|
1008
|
-
about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under
|
1009
|
-
it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
|
1010
|
-
that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.
|
1011
|
-
|
1012
|
-
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of
|
1013
|
-
the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large
|
1014
|
-
caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,
|
1015
|
-
quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
|
1016
|
-
of her or of anything else.
|
1017
|
-
|
1018
|
-
|
1019
|
-
|
1020
|
-
CHAPTER V
|
1021
|
-
|
1022
|
-
Advice from a Caterpillar
|
1023
|
-
|
1024
|
-
|
1025
|
-
The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in
|
1026
|
-
silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
|
1027
|
-
mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
|
1028
|
-
|
1029
|
-
`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
|
1030
|
-
|
1031
|
-
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice
|
1032
|
-
replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--
|
1033
|
-
at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think
|
1034
|
-
I must have been changed several times since then.'
|
1035
|
-
|
1036
|
-
`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
|
1037
|
-
`Explain yourself!'
|
1038
|
-
|
1039
|
-
`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because
|
1040
|
-
I'm not myself, you see.'
|
1041
|
-
|
1042
|
-
`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1043
|
-
|
1044
|
-
`I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
|
1045
|
-
politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
|
1046
|
-
being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'
|
1047
|
-
|
1048
|
-
`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1049
|
-
|
1050
|
-
`Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but
|
1051
|
-
when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you
|
1052
|
-
know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll
|
1053
|
-
feel it a little queer, won't you?'
|
1054
|
-
|
1055
|
-
`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1056
|
-
|
1057
|
-
`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;
|
1058
|
-
`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'
|
1059
|
-
|
1060
|
-
`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'
|
1061
|
-
|
1062
|
-
Which brought them back again to the beginning of the
|
1063
|
-
conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's
|
1064
|
-
making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,
|
1065
|
-
very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'
|
1066
|
-
|
1067
|
-
`Why?' said the Caterpillar.
|
1068
|
-
|
1069
|
-
Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
|
1070
|
-
think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in
|
1071
|
-
a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
|
1072
|
-
|
1073
|
-
`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something
|
1074
|
-
important to say!'
|
1075
|
-
|
1076
|
-
This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back
|
1077
|
-
again.
|
1078
|
-
|
1079
|
-
`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1080
|
-
|
1081
|
-
`Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as
|
1082
|
-
she could.
|
1083
|
-
|
1084
|
-
`No,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1085
|
-
|
1086
|
-
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
|
1087
|
-
to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth
|
1088
|
-
hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but
|
1089
|
-
at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth
|
1090
|
-
again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'
|
1091
|
-
|
1092
|
-
`I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as
|
1093
|
-
I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
|
1094
|
-
|
1095
|
-
`Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
|
1096
|
-
|
1097
|
-
`Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it
|
1098
|
-
all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
|
1099
|
-
|
1100
|
-
`Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
|
1101
|
-
|
1102
|
-
Alice folded her hands, and began:--
|
1103
|
-
|
1104
|
-
`You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
|
1105
|
-
`And your hair has become very white;
|
1106
|
-
And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
|
1107
|
-
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
|
1108
|
-
|
1109
|
-
`In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
|
1110
|
-
`I feared it might injure the brain;
|
1111
|
-
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
|
1112
|
-
Why, I do it again and again.'
|
1113
|
-
|
1114
|
-
`You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,
|
1115
|
-
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
|
1116
|
-
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
|
1117
|
-
Pray, what is the reason of that?'
|
1118
|
-
|
1119
|
-
`In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
|
1120
|
-
`I kept all my limbs very supple
|
1121
|
-
By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
|
1122
|
-
Allow me to sell you a couple?'
|
1123
|
-
|
1124
|
-
`You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak
|
1125
|
-
For anything tougher than suet;
|
1126
|
-
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
|
1127
|
-
Pray how did you manage to do it?'
|
1128
|
-
|
1129
|
-
`In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,
|
1130
|
-
And argued each case with my wife;
|
1131
|
-
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
|
1132
|
-
Has lasted the rest of my life.'
|
1133
|
-
|
1134
|
-
`You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose
|
1135
|
-
That your eye was as steady as ever;
|
1136
|
-
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
|
1137
|
-
What made you so awfully clever?'
|
1138
|
-
|
1139
|
-
`I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
|
1140
|
-
Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!
|
1141
|
-
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
|
1142
|
-
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
|
1143
|
-
|
1144
|
-
|
1145
|
-
`That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1146
|
-
|
1147
|
-
`Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the
|
1148
|
-
words have got altered.'
|
1149
|
-
|
1150
|
-
`It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
|
1151
|
-
decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
|
1152
|
-
|
1153
|
-
The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
|
1154
|
-
|
1155
|
-
`What size do you want to be?' it asked.
|
1156
|
-
|
1157
|
-
`Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
|
1158
|
-
`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'
|
1159
|
-
|
1160
|
-
`I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
|
1161
|
-
|
1162
|
-
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in
|
1163
|
-
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
|
1164
|
-
|
1165
|
-
`Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
|
1166
|
-
|
1167
|
-
`Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you
|
1168
|
-
wouldn't mind,' said Alice: `three inches is such a wretched
|
1169
|
-
height to be.'
|
1170
|
-
|
1171
|
-
`It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
|
1172
|
-
angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
|
1173
|
-
inches high).
|
1174
|
-
|
1175
|
-
`But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
|
1176
|
-
And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so
|
1177
|
-
easily offended!'
|
1178
|
-
|
1179
|
-
`You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it
|
1180
|
-
put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
|
1181
|
-
|
1182
|
-
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.
|
1183
|
-
In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
|
1184
|
-
mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got
|
1185
|
-
down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely
|
1186
|
-
remarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, and
|
1187
|
-
the other side will make you grow shorter.'
|
1188
|
-
|
1189
|
-
`One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to
|
1190
|
-
herself.
|
1191
|
-
|
1192
|
-
`Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had
|
1193
|
-
asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
|
1194
|
-
|
1195
|
-
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a
|
1196
|
-
minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as
|
1197
|
-
it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.
|
1198
|
-
However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they
|
1199
|
-
would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.
|
1200
|
-
|
1201
|
-
`And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a
|
1202
|
-
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment
|
1203
|
-
she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her
|
1204
|
-
foot!
|
1205
|
-
|
1206
|
-
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
|
1207
|
-
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking
|
1208
|
-
rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.
|
1209
|
-
Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was
|
1210
|
-
hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and
|
1211
|
-
managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
|
1212
|
-
|
1213
|
-
|
1214
|
-
* * * * * * *
|
1215
|
-
|
1216
|
-
* * * * * *
|
1217
|
-
|
1218
|
-
* * * * * * *
|
1219
|
-
|
1220
|
-
`Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of
|
1221
|
-
delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she
|
1222
|
-
found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could
|
1223
|
-
see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which
|
1224
|
-
seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay
|
1225
|
-
far below her.
|
1226
|
-
|
1227
|
-
`What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. `And where
|
1228
|
-
HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I
|
1229
|
-
can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke, but no
|
1230
|
-
result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the
|
1231
|
-
distant green leaves.
|
1232
|
-
|
1233
|
-
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
|
1234
|
-
head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted
|
1235
|
-
to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,
|
1236
|
-
like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a
|
1237
|
-
graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which
|
1238
|
-
she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
|
1239
|
-
had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a
|
1240
|
-
hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating
|
1241
|
-
her violently with its wings.
|
1242
|
-
|
1243
|
-
`Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
|
1244
|
-
|
1245
|
-
`I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. `Let me alone!'
|
1246
|
-
|
1247
|
-
`Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more
|
1248
|
-
subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried every
|
1249
|
-
way, and nothing seems to suit them!'
|
1250
|
-
|
1251
|
-
`I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said
|
1252
|
-
Alice.
|
1253
|
-
|
1254
|
-
`I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've
|
1255
|
-
tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `but
|
1256
|
-
those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'
|
1257
|
-
|
1258
|
-
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
|
1259
|
-
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
|
1260
|
-
|
1261
|
-
`As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the
|
1262
|
-
Pigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and
|
1263
|
-
day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'
|
1264
|
-
|
1265
|
-
`I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was
|
1266
|
-
beginning to see its meaning.
|
1267
|
-
|
1268
|
-
`And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued
|
1269
|
-
the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I was
|
1270
|
-
thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come
|
1271
|
-
wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
|
1272
|
-
|
1273
|
-
`But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. `I'm a--I'm
|
1274
|
-
a--'
|
1275
|
-
|
1276
|
-
`Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. `I can see you're
|
1277
|
-
trying to invent something!'
|
1278
|
-
|
1279
|
-
`I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she
|
1280
|
-
remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.
|
1281
|
-
|
1282
|
-
`A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the
|
1283
|
-
deepest contempt. `I've seen a good many little girls in my
|
1284
|
-
time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a
|
1285
|
-
serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be
|
1286
|
-
telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'
|
1287
|
-
|
1288
|
-
`I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very
|
1289
|
-
truthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much as
|
1290
|
-
serpents do, you know.'
|
1291
|
-
|
1292
|
-
`I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, why
|
1293
|
-
then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
|
1294
|
-
|
1295
|
-
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent
|
1296
|
-
for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of
|
1297
|
-
adding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and
|
1298
|
-
what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a
|
1299
|
-
serpent?'
|
1300
|
-
|
1301
|
-
`It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'm
|
1302
|
-
not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't
|
1303
|
-
want YOURS: I don't like them raw.'
|
1304
|
-
|
1305
|
-
`Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
|
1306
|
-
settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the
|
1307
|
-
trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled
|
1308
|
-
among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and
|
1309
|
-
untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the
|
1310
|
-
pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
|
1311
|
-
carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and
|
1312
|
-
growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
|
1313
|
-
succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
|
1314
|
-
|
1315
|
-
It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,
|
1316
|
-
that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a
|
1317
|
-
few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. `Come,
|
1318
|
-
there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes
|
1319
|
-
are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to
|
1320
|
-
another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next
|
1321
|
-
thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be
|
1322
|
-
done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an
|
1323
|
-
open place, with a little house in it about four feet high.
|
1324
|
-
`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to come
|
1325
|
-
upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their
|
1326
|
-
wits!' So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did
|
1327
|
-
not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself
|
1328
|
-
down to nine inches high.
|
1329
|
-
|
1330
|
-
|
1331
|
-
|
1332
|
-
CHAPTER VI
|
1333
|
-
|
1334
|
-
Pig and Pepper
|
1335
|
-
|
1336
|
-
|
1337
|
-
For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and
|
1338
|
-
wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came
|
1339
|
-
running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman
|
1340
|
-
because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,
|
1341
|
-
she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
|
1342
|
-
with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,
|
1343
|
-
with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,
|
1344
|
-
Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their
|
1345
|
-
heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and
|
1346
|
-
crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
|
1347
|
-
|
1348
|
-
The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great
|
1349
|
-
letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to
|
1350
|
-
the other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess. An
|
1351
|
-
invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman
|
1352
|
-
repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
|
1353
|
-
words a little, `From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess
|
1354
|
-
to play croquet.'
|
1355
|
-
|
1356
|
-
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled
|
1357
|
-
together.
|
1358
|
-
|
1359
|
-
Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into
|
1360
|
-
the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped
|
1361
|
-
out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the
|
1362
|
-
ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
|
1363
|
-
|
1364
|
-
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
|
1365
|
-
|
1366
|
-
`There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `and
|
1367
|
-
that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the
|
1368
|
-
door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise
|
1369
|
-
inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was
|
1370
|
-
a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling
|
1371
|
-
and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish
|
1372
|
-
or kettle had been broken to pieces.
|
1373
|
-
|
1374
|
-
`Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'
|
1375
|
-
|
1376
|
-
`There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went
|
1377
|
-
on without attending to her, `if we had the door between us. For
|
1378
|
-
instance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let
|
1379
|
-
you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the time
|
1380
|
-
he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. `But
|
1381
|
-
perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are so
|
1382
|
-
VERY nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might
|
1383
|
-
answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.
|
1384
|
-
|
1385
|
-
`I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'
|
1386
|
-
|
1387
|
-
At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
|
1388
|
-
came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just
|
1389
|
-
grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees
|
1390
|
-
behind him.
|
1391
|
-
|
1392
|
-
`--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone,
|
1393
|
-
exactly as if nothing had happened.
|
1394
|
-
|
1395
|
-
`How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
|
1396
|
-
|
1397
|
-
`ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. `That's the
|
1398
|
-
first question, you know.'
|
1399
|
-
|
1400
|
-
It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so.
|
1401
|
-
`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all the
|
1402
|
-
creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'
|
1403
|
-
|
1404
|
-
The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for
|
1405
|
-
repeating his remark, with variations. `I shall sit here,' he
|
1406
|
-
said, `on and off, for days and days.'
|
1407
|
-
|
1408
|
-
`But what am I to do?' said Alice.
|
1409
|
-
|
1410
|
-
`Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
|
1411
|
-
|
1412
|
-
`Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately:
|
1413
|
-
`he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
|
1414
|
-
|
1415
|
-
The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of
|
1416
|
-
smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a
|
1417
|
-
three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was
|
1418
|
-
leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to
|
1419
|
-
be full of soup.
|
1420
|
-
|
1421
|
-
`There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to
|
1422
|
-
herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
|
1423
|
-
|
1424
|
-
There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the
|
1425
|
-
Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was
|
1426
|
-
sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The
|
1427
|
-
only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,
|
1428
|
-
and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from
|
1429
|
-
ear to ear.
|
1430
|
-
|
1431
|
-
`Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for
|
1432
|
-
she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to
|
1433
|
-
speak first, `why your cat grins like that?'
|
1434
|
-
|
1435
|
-
`It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why.
|
1436
|
-
Pig!'
|
1437
|
-
|
1438
|
-
She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice
|
1439
|
-
quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed
|
1440
|
-
to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on
|
1441
|
-
again:--
|
1442
|
-
|
1443
|
-
`I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I
|
1444
|
-
didn't know that cats COULD grin.'
|
1445
|
-
|
1446
|
-
`They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'
|
1447
|
-
|
1448
|
-
`I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,
|
1449
|
-
feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.
|
1450
|
-
|
1451
|
-
`You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'
|
1452
|
-
|
1453
|
-
Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought
|
1454
|
-
it would be as well to introduce some other subject of
|
1455
|
-
conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took
|
1456
|
-
the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work
|
1457
|
-
throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby
|
1458
|
-
--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,
|
1459
|
-
plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when
|
1460
|
-
they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it
|
1461
|
-
was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
|
1462
|
-
|
1463
|
-
`Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up
|
1464
|
-
and down in an agony of terror. `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS
|
1465
|
-
nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very
|
1466
|
-
nearly carried it off.
|
1467
|
-
|
1468
|
-
`If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a
|
1469
|
-
hoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than it
|
1470
|
-
does.'
|
1471
|
-
|
1472
|
-
`Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very
|
1473
|
-
glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her
|
1474
|
-
knowledge. `Just think of what work it would make with the day
|
1475
|
-
and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn
|
1476
|
-
round on its axis--'
|
1477
|
-
|
1478
|
-
`Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'
|
1479
|
-
|
1480
|
-
Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant
|
1481
|
-
to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and
|
1482
|
-
seemed not to be listening, so she went on again: `Twenty-four
|
1483
|
-
hours, I THINK; or is it twelve? I--'
|
1484
|
-
|
1485
|
-
`Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abide
|
1486
|
-
figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again,
|
1487
|
-
singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a
|
1488
|
-
violent shake at the end of every line:
|
1489
|
-
|
1490
|
-
`Speak roughly to your little boy,
|
1491
|
-
And beat him when he sneezes:
|
1492
|
-
He only does it to annoy,
|
1493
|
-
Because he knows it teases.'
|
1494
|
-
|
1495
|
-
CHORUS.
|
1496
|
-
|
1497
|
-
(In which the cook and the baby joined):--
|
1498
|
-
|
1499
|
-
`Wow! wow! wow!'
|
1500
|
-
|
1501
|
-
While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
|
1502
|
-
tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
|
1503
|
-
howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--
|
1504
|
-
|
1505
|
-
`I speak severely to my boy,
|
1506
|
-
I beat him when he sneezes;
|
1507
|
-
For he can thoroughly enjoy
|
1508
|
-
The pepper when he pleases!'
|
1509
|
-
|
1510
|
-
CHORUS.
|
1511
|
-
|
1512
|
-
`Wow! wow! wow!'
|
1513
|
-
|
1514
|
-
`Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said
|
1515
|
-
to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. `I must go and
|
1516
|
-
get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of
|
1517
|
-
the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,
|
1518
|
-
but it just missed her.
|
1519
|
-
|
1520
|
-
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-
|
1521
|
-
shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all
|
1522
|
-
directions, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor
|
1523
|
-
little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,
|
1524
|
-
and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,
|
1525
|
-
so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much
|
1526
|
-
as she could do to hold it.
|
1527
|
-
|
1528
|
-
As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,
|
1529
|
-
(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep
|
1530
|
-
tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its
|
1531
|
-
undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. `IF I
|
1532
|
-
don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sure
|
1533
|
-
to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave it
|
1534
|
-
behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little thing
|
1535
|
-
grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time). `Don't
|
1536
|
-
grunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressing
|
1537
|
-
yourself.'
|
1538
|
-
|
1539
|
-
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into
|
1540
|
-
its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no
|
1541
|
-
doubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout
|
1542
|
-
than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small for
|
1543
|
-
a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at
|
1544
|
-
all. `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and looked
|
1545
|
-
into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.
|
1546
|
-
|
1547
|
-
No, there were no tears. `If you're going to turn into a pig,
|
1548
|
-
my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to do
|
1549
|
-
with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or
|
1550
|
-
grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for
|
1551
|
-
some while in silence.
|
1552
|
-
|
1553
|
-
Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am I
|
1554
|
-
to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted
|
1555
|
-
again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some
|
1556
|
-
alarm. This time there could be NO mistake about it: it was
|
1557
|
-
neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be
|
1558
|
-
quite absurd for her to carry it further.
|
1559
|
-
|
1560
|
-
So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to
|
1561
|
-
see it trot away quietly into the wood. `If it had grown up,'
|
1562
|
-
she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:
|
1563
|
-
but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began
|
1564
|
-
thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as
|
1565
|
-
pigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the right
|
1566
|
-
way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing
|
1567
|
-
the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.
|
1568
|
-
|
1569
|
-
The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-
|
1570
|
-
natured, she thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great
|
1571
|
-
many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
|
1572
|
-
|
1573
|
-
`Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at
|
1574
|
-
all know whether it would like the name: however, it only
|
1575
|
-
grinned a little wider. `Come, it's pleased so far,' thought
|
1576
|
-
Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I
|
1577
|
-
ought to go from here?'
|
1578
|
-
|
1579
|
-
`That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said
|
1580
|
-
the Cat.
|
1581
|
-
|
1582
|
-
`I don't much care where--' said Alice.
|
1583
|
-
|
1584
|
-
`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
|
1585
|
-
|
1586
|
-
`--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
|
1587
|
-
|
1588
|
-
`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk
|
1589
|
-
long enough.'
|
1590
|
-
|
1591
|
-
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
|
1592
|
-
question. `What sort of people live about here?'
|
1593
|
-
|
1594
|
-
`In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round,
|
1595
|
-
`lives a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw,
|
1596
|
-
`lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
|
1597
|
-
|
1598
|
-
`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
|
1599
|
-
|
1600
|
-
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here.
|
1601
|
-
I'm mad. You're mad.'
|
1602
|
-
|
1603
|
-
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
|
1604
|
-
|
1605
|
-
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
|
1606
|
-
|
1607
|
-
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on
|
1608
|
-
`And how do you know that you're mad?'
|
1609
|
-
|
1610
|
-
`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant
|
1611
|
-
that?'
|
1612
|
-
|
1613
|
-
`I suppose so,' said Alice.
|
1614
|
-
|
1615
|
-
`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's
|
1616
|
-
angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm
|
1617
|
-
pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'
|
1618
|
-
|
1619
|
-
`I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.
|
1620
|
-
|
1621
|
-
`Call it what you like,' said the Cat. `Do you play croquet
|
1622
|
-
with the Queen to-day?'
|
1623
|
-
|
1624
|
-
`I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't been
|
1625
|
-
invited yet.'
|
1626
|
-
|
1627
|
-
`You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.
|
1628
|
-
|
1629
|
-
Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used
|
1630
|
-
to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place
|
1631
|
-
where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.
|
1632
|
-
|
1633
|
-
`By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. `I'd
|
1634
|
-
nearly forgotten to ask.'
|
1635
|
-
|
1636
|
-
`It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had
|
1637
|
-
come back in a natural way.
|
1638
|
-
|
1639
|
-
`I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.
|
1640
|
-
|
1641
|
-
Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it
|
1642
|
-
did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the
|
1643
|
-
direction in which the March Hare was said to live. `I've seen
|
1644
|
-
hatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will be
|
1645
|
-
much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be
|
1646
|
-
raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said
|
1647
|
-
this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a
|
1648
|
-
branch of a tree.
|
1649
|
-
|
1650
|
-
`Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.
|
1651
|
-
|
1652
|
-
`I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keep
|
1653
|
-
appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'
|
1654
|
-
|
1655
|
-
`All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite
|
1656
|
-
slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the
|
1657
|
-
grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
|
1658
|
-
|
1659
|
-
`Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;
|
1660
|
-
`but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever
|
1661
|
-
say in my life!'
|
1662
|
-
|
1663
|
-
She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the
|
1664
|
-
house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house,
|
1665
|
-
because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was
|
1666
|
-
thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not
|
1667
|
-
like to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand
|
1668
|
-
bit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even
|
1669
|
-
then she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself
|
1670
|
-
`Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd
|
1671
|
-
gone to see the Hatter instead!'
|
1672
|
-
|
1673
|
-
|
1674
|
-
|
1675
|
-
CHAPTER VII
|
1676
|
-
|
1677
|
-
A Mad Tea-Party
|
1678
|
-
|
1679
|
-
|
1680
|
-
There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,
|
1681
|
-
and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a
|
1682
|
-
Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two
|
1683
|
-
were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and the
|
1684
|
-
talking over its head. `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'
|
1685
|
-
thought Alice; `only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'
|
1686
|
-
|
1687
|
-
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded
|
1688
|
-
together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!' they cried
|
1689
|
-
out when they saw Alice coming. `There's PLENTY of room!' said
|
1690
|
-
Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one
|
1691
|
-
end of the table.
|
1692
|
-
|
1693
|
-
`Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
|
1694
|
-
|
1695
|
-
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it
|
1696
|
-
but tea. `I don't see any wine,' she remarked.
|
1697
|
-
|
1698
|
-
`There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
|
1699
|
-
|
1700
|
-
`Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice
|
1701
|
-
angrily.
|
1702
|
-
|
1703
|
-
`It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being
|
1704
|
-
invited,' said the March Hare.
|
1705
|
-
|
1706
|
-
`I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for a
|
1707
|
-
great many more than three.'
|
1708
|
-
|
1709
|
-
`Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been
|
1710
|
-
looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was
|
1711
|
-
his first speech.
|
1712
|
-
|
1713
|
-
`You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said
|
1714
|
-
with some severity; `it's very rude.'
|
1715
|
-
|
1716
|
-
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all
|
1717
|
-
he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
|
1718
|
-
|
1719
|
-
`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad
|
1720
|
-
they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she
|
1721
|
-
added aloud.
|
1722
|
-
|
1723
|
-
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'
|
1724
|
-
said the March Hare.
|
1725
|
-
|
1726
|
-
`Exactly so,' said Alice.
|
1727
|
-
|
1728
|
-
`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
|
1729
|
-
|
1730
|
-
`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what
|
1731
|
-
I say--that's the same thing, you know.'
|
1732
|
-
|
1733
|
-
`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just
|
1734
|
-
as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat
|
1735
|
-
what I see"!'
|
1736
|
-
|
1737
|
-
`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I
|
1738
|
-
like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
|
1739
|
-
|
1740
|
-
`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to
|
1741
|
-
be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the
|
1742
|
-
same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
|
1743
|
-
|
1744
|
-
`It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the
|
1745
|
-
conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,
|
1746
|
-
while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and
|
1747
|
-
writing-desks, which wasn't much.
|
1748
|
-
|
1749
|
-
The Hatter was the first to break the silence. `What day of
|
1750
|
-
the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his
|
1751
|
-
watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking
|
1752
|
-
it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
|
1753
|
-
|
1754
|
-
Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'
|
1755
|
-
|
1756
|
-
`Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. `I told you butter
|
1757
|
-
wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March
|
1758
|
-
Hare.
|
1759
|
-
|
1760
|
-
`It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.
|
1761
|
-
|
1762
|
-
`Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter
|
1763
|
-
grumbled: `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
|
1764
|
-
|
1765
|
-
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then
|
1766
|
-
he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he
|
1767
|
-
could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `It
|
1768
|
-
was the BEST butter, you know.'
|
1769
|
-
|
1770
|
-
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
|
1771
|
-
`What a funny watch!' she remarked. `It tells the day of the
|
1772
|
-
month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'
|
1773
|
-
|
1774
|
-
`Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. `Does YOUR watch tell
|
1775
|
-
you what year it is?'
|
1776
|
-
|
1777
|
-
`Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: `but that's
|
1778
|
-
because it stays the same year for such a long time together.'
|
1779
|
-
|
1780
|
-
`Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
|
1781
|
-
|
1782
|
-
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to
|
1783
|
-
have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.
|
1784
|
-
`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she
|
1785
|
-
could.
|
1786
|
-
|
1787
|
-
`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured
|
1788
|
-
a little hot tea upon its nose.
|
1789
|
-
|
1790
|
-
The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without
|
1791
|
-
opening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going to
|
1792
|
-
remark myself.'
|
1793
|
-
|
1794
|
-
`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to
|
1795
|
-
Alice again.
|
1796
|
-
|
1797
|
-
`No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?'
|
1798
|
-
|
1799
|
-
`I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
|
1800
|
-
|
1801
|
-
`Nor I,' said the March Hare.
|
1802
|
-
|
1803
|
-
Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better
|
1804
|
-
with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that
|
1805
|
-
have no answers.'
|
1806
|
-
|
1807
|
-
`If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you
|
1808
|
-
wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.'
|
1809
|
-
|
1810
|
-
`I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.
|
1811
|
-
|
1812
|
-
`Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head
|
1813
|
-
contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
|
1814
|
-
|
1815
|
-
`Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to
|
1816
|
-
beat time when I learn music.'
|
1817
|
-
|
1818
|
-
`Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand
|
1819
|
-
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do
|
1820
|
-
almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose
|
1821
|
-
it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:
|
1822
|
-
you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the
|
1823
|
-
clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'
|
1824
|
-
|
1825
|
-
(`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a
|
1826
|
-
whisper.)
|
1827
|
-
|
1828
|
-
`That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:
|
1829
|
-
`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
|
1830
|
-
|
1831
|
-
`Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: `but you could keep
|
1832
|
-
it to half-past one as long as you liked.'
|
1833
|
-
|
1834
|
-
`Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.
|
1835
|
-
|
1836
|
-
The Hatter shook his head mournfully. `Not I!' he replied.
|
1837
|
-
`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'
|
1838
|
-
(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at the
|
1839
|
-
great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
|
1840
|
-
|
1841
|
-
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
|
1842
|
-
How I wonder what you're at!"
|
1843
|
-
|
1844
|
-
You know the song, perhaps?'
|
1845
|
-
|
1846
|
-
`I've heard something like it,' said Alice.
|
1847
|
-
|
1848
|
-
`It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--
|
1849
|
-
|
1850
|
-
"Up above the world you fly,
|
1851
|
-
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
|
1852
|
-
Twinkle, twinkle--"'
|
1853
|
-
|
1854
|
-
Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
|
1855
|
-
`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that
|
1856
|
-
they had to pinch it to make it stop.
|
1857
|
-
|
1858
|
-
`Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,
|
1859
|
-
`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the
|
1860
|
-
time! Off with his head!"'
|
1861
|
-
|
1862
|
-
`How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.
|
1863
|
-
|
1864
|
-
`And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
|
1865
|
-
`he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
|
1866
|
-
|
1867
|
-
A bright idea came into Alice's head. `Is that the reason so
|
1868
|
-
many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.
|
1869
|
-
|
1870
|
-
`Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always
|
1871
|
-
tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'
|
1872
|
-
|
1873
|
-
`Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.
|
1874
|
-
|
1875
|
-
`Exactly so,' said the Hatter: `as the things get used up.'
|
1876
|
-
|
1877
|
-
`But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice
|
1878
|
-
ventured to ask.
|
1879
|
-
|
1880
|
-
`Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,
|
1881
|
-
yawning. `I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady
|
1882
|
-
tells us a story.'
|
1883
|
-
|
1884
|
-
`I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at
|
1885
|
-
the proposal.
|
1886
|
-
|
1887
|
-
`Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. `Wake up,
|
1888
|
-
Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.
|
1889
|
-
|
1890
|
-
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. `I wasn't asleep,' he
|
1891
|
-
said in a hoarse, feeble voice: `I heard every word you fellows
|
1892
|
-
were saying.'
|
1893
|
-
|
1894
|
-
`Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.
|
1895
|
-
|
1896
|
-
`Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.
|
1897
|
-
|
1898
|
-
`And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleep
|
1899
|
-
again before it's done.'
|
1900
|
-
|
1901
|
-
`Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the
|
1902
|
-
Dormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie,
|
1903
|
-
Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'
|
1904
|
-
|
1905
|
-
`What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great
|
1906
|
-
interest in questions of eating and drinking.
|
1907
|
-
|
1908
|
-
`They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a
|
1909
|
-
minute or two.
|
1910
|
-
|
1911
|
-
`They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently
|
1912
|
-
remarked; `they'd have been ill.'
|
1913
|
-
|
1914
|
-
`So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'
|
1915
|
-
|
1916
|
-
Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways
|
1917
|
-
of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went
|
1918
|
-
on: `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
|
1919
|
-
|
1920
|
-
`Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very
|
1921
|
-
earnestly.
|
1922
|
-
|
1923
|
-
`I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `so
|
1924
|
-
I can't take more.'
|
1925
|
-
|
1926
|
-
`You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: `it's very
|
1927
|
-
easy to take MORE than nothing.'
|
1928
|
-
|
1929
|
-
`Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.
|
1930
|
-
|
1931
|
-
`Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked
|
1932
|
-
triumphantly.
|
1933
|
-
|
1934
|
-
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped
|
1935
|
-
herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the
|
1936
|
-
Dormouse, and repeated her question. `Why did they live at the
|
1937
|
-
bottom of a well?'
|
1938
|
-
|
1939
|
-
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
|
1940
|
-
then said, `It was a treacle-well.'
|
1941
|
-
|
1942
|
-
`There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but
|
1943
|
-
the Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse
|
1944
|
-
sulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the
|
1945
|
-
story for yourself.'
|
1946
|
-
|
1947
|
-
`No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interrupt
|
1948
|
-
again. I dare say there may be ONE.'
|
1949
|
-
|
1950
|
-
`One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
|
1951
|
-
consented to go on. `And so these three little sisters--they
|
1952
|
-
were learning to draw, you know--'
|
1953
|
-
|
1954
|
-
`What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
|
1955
|
-
|
1956
|
-
`Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this
|
1957
|
-
time.
|
1958
|
-
|
1959
|
-
`I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: `let's all move
|
1960
|
-
one place on.'
|
1961
|
-
|
1962
|
-
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the
|
1963
|
-
March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather
|
1964
|
-
unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the
|
1965
|
-
only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a
|
1966
|
-
good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
|
1967
|
-
the milk-jug into his plate.
|
1968
|
-
|
1969
|
-
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
|
1970
|
-
very cautiously: `But I don't understand. Where did they draw
|
1971
|
-
the treacle from?'
|
1972
|
-
|
1973
|
-
`You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `so
|
1974
|
-
I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,
|
1975
|
-
stupid?'
|
1976
|
-
|
1977
|
-
`But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not
|
1978
|
-
choosing to notice this last remark.
|
1979
|
-
|
1980
|
-
`Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'
|
1981
|
-
|
1982
|
-
This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse
|
1983
|
-
go on for some time without interrupting it.
|
1984
|
-
|
1985
|
-
`They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and
|
1986
|
-
rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drew
|
1987
|
-
all manner of things--everything that begins with an M--'
|
1988
|
-
|
1989
|
-
`Why with an M?' said Alice.
|
1990
|
-
|
1991
|
-
`Why not?' said the March Hare.
|
1992
|
-
|
1993
|
-
Alice was silent.
|
1994
|
-
|
1995
|
-
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going
|
1996
|
-
off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up
|
1997
|
-
again with a little shriek, and went on: `--that begins with an
|
1998
|
-
M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--
|
1999
|
-
you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever
|
2000
|
-
see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'
|
2001
|
-
|
2002
|
-
`Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `I
|
2003
|
-
don't think--'
|
2004
|
-
|
2005
|
-
`Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.
|
2006
|
-
|
2007
|
-
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got
|
2008
|
-
up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep
|
2009
|
-
instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her
|
2010
|
-
going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that
|
2011
|
-
they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were
|
2012
|
-
trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.
|
2013
|
-
|
2014
|
-
`At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she
|
2015
|
-
picked her way through the wood. `It's the stupidest tea-party I
|
2016
|
-
ever was at in all my life!'
|
2017
|
-
|
2018
|
-
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a
|
2019
|
-
door leading right into it. `That's very curious!' she thought.
|
2020
|
-
`But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at
|
2021
|
-
once.' And in she went.
|
2022
|
-
|
2023
|
-
Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the
|
2024
|
-
little glass table. `Now, I'll manage better this time,' she
|
2025
|
-
said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and
|
2026
|
-
unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to
|
2027
|
-
work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her
|
2028
|
-
pocked) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the
|
2029
|
-
little passage: and THEN--she found herself at last in the
|
2030
|
-
beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
|
2031
|
-
fountains.
|
2032
|
-
|
2033
|
-
|
2034
|
-
|
2035
|
-
CHAPTER VIII
|
2036
|
-
|
2037
|
-
The Queen's Croquet-Ground
|
2038
|
-
|
2039
|
-
|
2040
|
-
A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
|
2041
|
-
roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at
|
2042
|
-
it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious
|
2043
|
-
thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up
|
2044
|
-
to them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five! Don't go
|
2045
|
-
splashing paint over me like that!'
|
2046
|
-
|
2047
|
-
`I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven jogged
|
2048
|
-
my elbow.'
|
2049
|
-
|
2050
|
-
On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five! Always
|
2051
|
-
lay the blame on others!'
|
2052
|
-
|
2053
|
-
`YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. `I heard the Queen say only
|
2054
|
-
yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'
|
2055
|
-
|
2056
|
-
`What for?' said the one who had spoken first.
|
2057
|
-
|
2058
|
-
`That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.
|
2059
|
-
|
2060
|
-
`Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--it
|
2061
|
-
was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'
|
2062
|
-
|
2063
|
-
Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of all
|
2064
|
-
the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as
|
2065
|
-
she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the
|
2066
|
-
others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.
|
2067
|
-
|
2068
|
-
`Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you are
|
2069
|
-
painting those roses?'
|
2070
|
-
|
2071
|
-
Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a
|
2072
|
-
low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
|
2073
|
-
have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;
|
2074
|
-
and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads
|
2075
|
-
cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore
|
2076
|
-
she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously
|
2077
|
-
looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!'
|
2078
|
-
and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon
|
2079
|
-
their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice
|
2080
|
-
looked round, eager to see the Queen.
|
2081
|
-
|
2082
|
-
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped
|
2083
|
-
like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
|
2084
|
-
feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were
|
2085
|
-
ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the
|
2086
|
-
soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were
|
2087
|
-
ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand
|
2088
|
-
in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next
|
2089
|
-
came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice
|
2090
|
-
recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous
|
2091
|
-
manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without
|
2092
|
-
noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the
|
2093
|
-
King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this
|
2094
|
-
grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
|
2095
|
-
|
2096
|
-
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on
|
2097
|
-
her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember
|
2098
|
-
every having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides,
|
2099
|
-
what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if people
|
2100
|
-
had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see
|
2101
|
-
it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.
|
2102
|
-
|
2103
|
-
When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped
|
2104
|
-
and looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?'
|
2105
|
-
She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
|
2106
|
-
reply.
|
2107
|
-
|
2108
|
-
`Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,
|
2109
|
-
turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?'
|
2110
|
-
|
2111
|
-
`My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very
|
2112
|
-
politely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack of
|
2113
|
-
cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'
|
2114
|
-
|
2115
|
-
`And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three
|
2116
|
-
gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as
|
2117
|
-
they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs
|
2118
|
-
was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
|
2119
|
-
they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her
|
2120
|
-
own children.
|
2121
|
-
|
2122
|
-
`How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
|
2123
|
-
`It's no business of MINE.'
|
2124
|
-
|
2125
|
-
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her
|
2126
|
-
for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head!
|
2127
|
-
Off--'
|
2128
|
-
|
2129
|
-
`Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the
|
2130
|
-
Queen was silent.
|
2131
|
-
|
2132
|
-
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said
|
2133
|
-
`Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'
|
2134
|
-
|
2135
|
-
The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave
|
2136
|
-
`Turn them over!'
|
2137
|
-
|
2138
|
-
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
|
2139
|
-
|
2140
|
-
`Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the
|
2141
|
-
three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the
|
2142
|
-
King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.
|
2143
|
-
|
2144
|
-
`Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.'
|
2145
|
-
And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE you
|
2146
|
-
been doing here?'
|
2147
|
-
|
2148
|
-
`May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,
|
2149
|
-
going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'
|
2150
|
-
|
2151
|
-
`I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the
|
2152
|
-
roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on,
|
2153
|
-
three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
|
2154
|
-
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
|
2155
|
-
|
2156
|
-
`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a
|
2157
|
-
large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered
|
2158
|
-
about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly
|
2159
|
-
marched off after the others.
|
2160
|
-
|
2161
|
-
`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.
|
2162
|
-
|
2163
|
-
`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers
|
2164
|
-
shouted in reply.
|
2165
|
-
|
2166
|
-
`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'
|
2167
|
-
|
2168
|
-
The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question
|
2169
|
-
was evidently meant for her.
|
2170
|
-
|
2171
|
-
`Yes!' shouted Alice.
|
2172
|
-
|
2173
|
-
`Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the
|
2174
|
-
procession, wondering very much what would happen next.
|
2175
|
-
|
2176
|
-
`It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.
|
2177
|
-
She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously
|
2178
|
-
into her face.
|
2179
|
-
|
2180
|
-
`Very,' said Alice: `--where's the Duchess?'
|
2181
|
-
|
2182
|
-
`Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
|
2183
|
-
looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised
|
2184
|
-
himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and
|
2185
|
-
whispered `She's under sentence of execution.'
|
2186
|
-
|
2187
|
-
`What for?' said Alice.
|
2188
|
-
|
2189
|
-
`Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.
|
2190
|
-
|
2191
|
-
`No, I didn't,' said Alice: `I don't think it's at all a pity.
|
2192
|
-
I said "What for?"'
|
2193
|
-
|
2194
|
-
`She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a
|
2195
|
-
little scream of laughter. `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a
|
2196
|
-
frightened tone. `The Queen will hear you! You see, she came
|
2197
|
-
rather late, and the Queen said--'
|
2198
|
-
|
2199
|
-
`Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,
|
2200
|
-
and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up
|
2201
|
-
against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or
|
2202
|
-
two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a
|
2203
|
-
curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
|
2204
|
-
furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live
|
2205
|
-
flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to
|
2206
|
-
stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
|
2207
|
-
|
2208
|
-
The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her
|
2209
|
-
flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,
|
2210
|
-
comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,
|
2211
|
-
but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened
|
2212
|
-
out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it
|
2213
|
-
WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such a
|
2214
|
-
puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:
|
2215
|
-
and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,
|
2216
|
-
it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled
|
2217
|
-
itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this,
|
2218
|
-
there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she
|
2219
|
-
wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers
|
2220
|
-
were always getting up and walking off to other parts of the
|
2221
|
-
ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very
|
2222
|
-
difficult game indeed.
|
2223
|
-
|
2224
|
-
The players all played at once without waiting for turns,
|
2225
|
-
quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in
|
2226
|
-
a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went
|
2227
|
-
stamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with
|
2228
|
-
her head!' about once in a minute.
|
2229
|
-
|
2230
|
-
Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as
|
2231
|
-
yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might
|
2232
|
-
happen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become of
|
2233
|
-
me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great
|
2234
|
-
wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'
|
2235
|
-
|
2236
|
-
She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
|
2237
|
-
whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
|
2238
|
-
curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at
|
2239
|
-
first, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to
|
2240
|
-
be a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat: now I
|
2241
|
-
shall have somebody to talk to.'
|
2242
|
-
|
2243
|
-
`How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was
|
2244
|
-
mouth enough for it to speak with.
|
2245
|
-
|
2246
|
-
Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no
|
2247
|
-
use speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at
|
2248
|
-
least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared,
|
2249
|
-
and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the
|
2250
|
-
game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The
|
2251
|
-
Cat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and
|
2252
|
-
no more of it appeared.
|
2253
|
-
|
2254
|
-
`I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather
|
2255
|
-
a complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't
|
2256
|
-
hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in
|
2257
|
-
particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and
|
2258
|
-
you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive;
|
2259
|
-
for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next
|
2260
|
-
walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have
|
2261
|
-
croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it
|
2262
|
-
saw mine coming!'
|
2263
|
-
|
2264
|
-
`How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.
|
2265
|
-
|
2266
|
-
`Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then
|
2267
|
-
she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so
|
2268
|
-
she went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while
|
2269
|
-
finishing the game.'
|
2270
|
-
|
2271
|
-
The Queen smiled and passed on.
|
2272
|
-
|
2273
|
-
`Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and
|
2274
|
-
looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.
|
2275
|
-
|
2276
|
-
`It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me
|
2277
|
-
to introduce it.'
|
2278
|
-
|
2279
|
-
`I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however,
|
2280
|
-
it may kiss my hand if it likes.'
|
2281
|
-
|
2282
|
-
`I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.
|
2283
|
-
|
2284
|
-
`Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me
|
2285
|
-
like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.
|
2286
|
-
|
2287
|
-
`A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in
|
2288
|
-
some book, but I don't remember where.'
|
2289
|
-
|
2290
|
-
`Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and
|
2291
|
-
he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I
|
2292
|
-
wish you would have this cat removed!'
|
2293
|
-
|
2294
|
-
The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
|
2295
|
-
or small. `Off with his head!' she said, without even looking
|
2296
|
-
round.
|
2297
|
-
|
2298
|
-
`I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and
|
2299
|
-
he hurried off.
|
2300
|
-
|
2301
|
-
Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game
|
2302
|
-
was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,
|
2303
|
-
screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three
|
2304
|
-
of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and
|
2305
|
-
she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in
|
2306
|
-
such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or
|
2307
|
-
not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.
|
2308
|
-
|
2309
|
-
The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,
|
2310
|
-
which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one
|
2311
|
-
of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her
|
2312
|
-
flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where
|
2313
|
-
Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
|
2314
|
-
into a tree.
|
2315
|
-
|
2316
|
-
By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,
|
2317
|
-
the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:
|
2318
|
-
`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the arches
|
2319
|
-
are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away
|
2320
|
-
under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for
|
2321
|
-
a little more conversation with her friend.
|
2322
|
-
|
2323
|
-
When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to
|
2324
|
-
find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute
|
2325
|
-
going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who
|
2326
|
-
were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,
|
2327
|
-
and looked very uncomfortable.
|
2328
|
-
|
2329
|
-
The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to
|
2330
|
-
settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,
|
2331
|
-
though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed
|
2332
|
-
to make out exactly what they said.
|
2333
|
-
|
2334
|
-
The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a
|
2335
|
-
head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had
|
2336
|
-
never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin
|
2337
|
-
at HIS time of life.
|
2338
|
-
|
2339
|
-
The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be
|
2340
|
-
beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.
|
2341
|
-
|
2342
|
-
The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about
|
2343
|
-
it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.
|
2344
|
-
(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so
|
2345
|
-
grave and anxious.)
|
2346
|
-
|
2347
|
-
Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the
|
2348
|
-
Duchess: you'd better ask HER about it.'
|
2349
|
-
|
2350
|
-
`She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetch
|
2351
|
-
her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.
|
2352
|
-
|
2353
|
-
The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,
|
2354
|
-
by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely
|
2355
|
-
disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and
|
2356
|
-
down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.
|
2357
|
-
|
2358
|
-
|
2359
|
-
|
2360
|
-
CHAPTER IX
|
2361
|
-
|
2362
|
-
The Mock Turtle's Story
|
2363
|
-
|
2364
|
-
|
2365
|
-
`You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
|
2366
|
-
thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately
|
2367
|
-
into Alice's, and they walked off together.
|
2368
|
-
|
2369
|
-
Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and
|
2370
|
-
thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had
|
2371
|
-
made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.
|
2372
|
-
|
2373
|
-
`When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very
|
2374
|
-
hopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT
|
2375
|
-
ALL. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper that
|
2376
|
-
makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased at
|
2377
|
-
having found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes them
|
2378
|
-
sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugar
|
2379
|
-
and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish
|
2380
|
-
people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, you
|
2381
|
-
know--'
|
2382
|
-
|
2383
|
-
She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a
|
2384
|
-
little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.
|
2385
|
-
`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you
|
2386
|
-
forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that
|
2387
|
-
is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'
|
2388
|
-
|
2389
|
-
`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.
|
2390
|
-
|
2391
|
-
`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a
|
2392
|
-
moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up
|
2393
|
-
closer to Alice's side as she spoke.
|
2394
|
-
|
2395
|
-
Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first,
|
2396
|
-
because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was
|
2397
|
-
exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,
|
2398
|
-
and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not
|
2399
|
-
like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.
|
2400
|
-
|
2401
|
-
`The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of
|
2402
|
-
keeping up the conversation a little.
|
2403
|
-
|
2404
|
-
`'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh,
|
2405
|
-
'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'
|
2406
|
-
|
2407
|
-
`Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody
|
2408
|
-
minding their own business!'
|
2409
|
-
|
2410
|
-
`Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,
|
2411
|
-
digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,
|
2412
|
-
`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the
|
2413
|
-
sounds will take care of themselves."'
|
2414
|
-
|
2415
|
-
`How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to
|
2416
|
-
herself.
|
2417
|
-
|
2418
|
-
`I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your
|
2419
|
-
waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm
|
2420
|
-
doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the
|
2421
|
-
experiment?'
|
2422
|
-
|
2423
|
-
`HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all
|
2424
|
-
anxious to have the experiment tried.
|
2425
|
-
|
2426
|
-
`Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both
|
2427
|
-
bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock
|
2428
|
-
together."'
|
2429
|
-
|
2430
|
-
`Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.
|
2431
|
-
|
2432
|
-
`Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you
|
2433
|
-
have of putting things!'
|
2434
|
-
|
2435
|
-
`It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.
|
2436
|
-
|
2437
|
-
`Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree
|
2438
|
-
to everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near
|
2439
|
-
here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the
|
2440
|
-
less there is of yours."'
|
2441
|
-
|
2442
|
-
`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this
|
2443
|
-
last remark, `it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it
|
2444
|
-
is.'
|
2445
|
-
|
2446
|
-
`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of
|
2447
|
-
that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put
|
2448
|
-
more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than
|
2449
|
-
what it might appear to others that what you were or might have
|
2450
|
-
been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared
|
2451
|
-
to them to be otherwise."'
|
2452
|
-
|
2453
|
-
`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very
|
2454
|
-
politely, `if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it
|
2455
|
-
as you say it.'
|
2456
|
-
|
2457
|
-
`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess
|
2458
|
-
replied, in a pleased tone.
|
2459
|
-
|
2460
|
-
`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'
|
2461
|
-
said Alice.
|
2462
|
-
|
2463
|
-
`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you
|
2464
|
-
a present of everything I've said as yet.'
|
2465
|
-
|
2466
|
-
`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't
|
2467
|
-
give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to
|
2468
|
-
say it out loud.
|
2469
|
-
|
2470
|
-
`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her
|
2471
|
-
sharp little chin.
|
2472
|
-
|
2473
|
-
`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was
|
2474
|
-
beginning to feel a little worried.
|
2475
|
-
|
2476
|
-
`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to
|
2477
|
-
fly; and the m--'
|
2478
|
-
|
2479
|
-
But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died
|
2480
|
-
away, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the
|
2481
|
-
arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up,
|
2482
|
-
and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,
|
2483
|
-
frowning like a thunderstorm.
|
2484
|
-
|
2485
|
-
`A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak
|
2486
|
-
voice.
|
2487
|
-
|
2488
|
-
`Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on
|
2489
|
-
the ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off,
|
2490
|
-
and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'
|
2491
|
-
|
2492
|
-
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.
|
2493
|
-
|
2494
|
-
`Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice
|
2495
|
-
was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her
|
2496
|
-
back to the croquet-ground.
|
2497
|
-
|
2498
|
-
The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,
|
2499
|
-
and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,
|
2500
|
-
they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a
|
2501
|
-
moment's delay would cost them their lives.
|
2502
|
-
|
2503
|
-
All the time they were playing the Queen never left off
|
2504
|
-
quarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with his
|
2505
|
-
head!' or `Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were
|
2506
|
-
taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave
|
2507
|
-
off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour
|
2508
|
-
or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the
|
2509
|
-
King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of
|
2510
|
-
execution.
|
2511
|
-
|
2512
|
-
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to
|
2513
|
-
Alice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'
|
2514
|
-
|
2515
|
-
`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'
|
2516
|
-
|
2517
|
-
`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.
|
2518
|
-
|
2519
|
-
`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.
|
2520
|
-
|
2521
|
-
`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his
|
2522
|
-
history,'
|
2523
|
-
|
2524
|
-
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low
|
2525
|
-
voice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come,
|
2526
|
-
THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite
|
2527
|
-
unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.
|
2528
|
-
|
2529
|
-
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the
|
2530
|
-
sun. (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)
|
2531
|
-
`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady to
|
2532
|
-
see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and
|
2533
|
-
see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,
|
2534
|
-
leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like
|
2535
|
-
the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would
|
2536
|
-
be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage
|
2537
|
-
Queen: so she waited.
|
2538
|
-
|
2539
|
-
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the
|
2540
|
-
Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!'
|
2541
|
-
said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.
|
2542
|
-
|
2543
|
-
`What IS the fun?' said Alice.
|
2544
|
-
|
2545
|
-
`Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they
|
2546
|
-
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!'
|
2547
|
-
|
2548
|
-
`Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went
|
2549
|
-
slowly after it: `I never was so ordered about in all my life,
|
2550
|
-
never!'
|
2551
|
-
|
2552
|
-
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the
|
2553
|
-
distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,
|
2554
|
-
as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart
|
2555
|
-
would break. She pitied him deeply. `What is his sorrow?' she
|
2556
|
-
asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the
|
2557
|
-
same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got
|
2558
|
-
no sorrow, you know. Come on!'
|
2559
|
-
|
2560
|
-
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with
|
2561
|
-
large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
|
2562
|
-
|
2563
|
-
`This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to
|
2564
|
-
know your history, she do.'
|
2565
|
-
|
2566
|
-
`I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow
|
2567
|
-
tone: `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've
|
2568
|
-
finished.'
|
2569
|
-
|
2570
|
-
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice
|
2571
|
-
thought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he
|
2572
|
-
doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.
|
2573
|
-
|
2574
|
-
`Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was
|
2575
|
-
a real Turtle.'
|
2576
|
-
|
2577
|
-
These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only
|
2578
|
-
by an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and
|
2579
|
-
the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very
|
2580
|
-
nearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for your
|
2581
|
-
interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST be
|
2582
|
-
more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.
|
2583
|
-
|
2584
|
-
`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more
|
2585
|
-
calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went to
|
2586
|
-
school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call
|
2587
|
-
him Tortoise--'
|
2588
|
-
|
2589
|
-
`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.
|
2590
|
-
|
2591
|
-
`We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock
|
2592
|
-
Turtle angrily: `really you are very dull!'
|
2593
|
-
|
2594
|
-
`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
|
2595
|
-
question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and
|
2596
|
-
looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At
|
2597
|
-
last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow!
|
2598
|
-
Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:
|
2599
|
-
|
2600
|
-
`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe
|
2601
|
-
it--'
|
2602
|
-
|
2603
|
-
`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.
|
2604
|
-
|
2605
|
-
`You did,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
2606
|
-
|
2607
|
-
`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak
|
2608
|
-
again. The Mock Turtle went on.
|
2609
|
-
|
2610
|
-
`We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school
|
2611
|
-
every day--'
|
2612
|
-
|
2613
|
-
`I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be
|
2614
|
-
so proud as all that.'
|
2615
|
-
|
2616
|
-
`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
|
2617
|
-
|
2618
|
-
`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'
|
2619
|
-
|
2620
|
-
`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.
|
2621
|
-
|
2622
|
-
`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.
|
2623
|
-
|
2624
|
-
`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock
|
2625
|
-
Turtle in a tone of great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the
|
2626
|
-
end of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'
|
2627
|
-
|
2628
|
-
`You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the
|
2629
|
-
bottom of the sea.'
|
2630
|
-
|
2631
|
-
`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a
|
2632
|
-
sigh. `I only took the regular course.'
|
2633
|
-
|
2634
|
-
`What was that?' inquired Alice.
|
2635
|
-
|
2636
|
-
`Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock
|
2637
|
-
Turtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--
|
2638
|
-
Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'
|
2639
|
-
|
2640
|
-
`I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. `What
|
2641
|
-
is it?'
|
2642
|
-
|
2643
|
-
The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. `What! Never
|
2644
|
-
heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. `You know what to beautify
|
2645
|
-
is, I suppose?'
|
2646
|
-
|
2647
|
-
`Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: `it means--to--make--anything--
|
2648
|
-
prettier.'
|
2649
|
-
|
2650
|
-
`Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what to
|
2651
|
-
uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'
|
2652
|
-
|
2653
|
-
Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about
|
2654
|
-
it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had you
|
2655
|
-
to learn?'
|
2656
|
-
|
2657
|
-
`Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting
|
2658
|
-
off the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,
|
2659
|
-
with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old
|
2660
|
-
conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us
|
2661
|
-
Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'
|
2662
|
-
|
2663
|
-
`What was THAT like?' said Alice.
|
2664
|
-
|
2665
|
-
`Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: `I'm
|
2666
|
-
too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'
|
2667
|
-
|
2668
|
-
`Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: `I went to the Classics
|
2669
|
-
master, though. He was an old crab, HE was.'
|
2670
|
-
|
2671
|
-
`I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: `he
|
2672
|
-
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'
|
2673
|
-
|
2674
|
-
`So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;
|
2675
|
-
and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.
|
2676
|
-
|
2677
|
-
`And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a
|
2678
|
-
hurry to change the subject.
|
2679
|
-
|
2680
|
-
`Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine the
|
2681
|
-
next, and so on.'
|
2682
|
-
|
2683
|
-
`What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.
|
2684
|
-
|
2685
|
-
`That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon
|
2686
|
-
remarked: `because they lessen from day to day.'
|
2687
|
-
|
2688
|
-
This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a
|
2689
|
-
little before she made her next remark. `Then the eleventh day
|
2690
|
-
must have been a holiday?'
|
2691
|
-
|
2692
|
-
`Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
2693
|
-
|
2694
|
-
`And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.
|
2695
|
-
|
2696
|
-
`That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a
|
2697
|
-
very decided tone: `tell her something about the games now.'
|
2698
|
-
|
2699
|
-
|
2700
|
-
|
2701
|
-
CHAPTER X
|
2702
|
-
|
2703
|
-
The Lobster Quadrille
|
2704
|
-
|
2705
|
-
|
2706
|
-
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper
|
2707
|
-
across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for
|
2708
|
-
a minute or two sobs choked his voice. `Same as if he had a bone
|
2709
|
-
in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him
|
2710
|
-
and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered
|
2711
|
-
his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on
|
2712
|
-
again:--
|
2713
|
-
|
2714
|
-
`You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,'
|
2715
|
-
said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'
|
2716
|
-
(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily,
|
2717
|
-
and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightful
|
2718
|
-
thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'
|
2719
|
-
|
2720
|
-
`No, indeed,' said Alice. `What sort of a dance is it?'
|
2721
|
-
|
2722
|
-
`Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the
|
2723
|
-
sea-shore--'
|
2724
|
-
|
2725
|
-
`Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. `Seals, turtles, salmon,
|
2726
|
-
and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of
|
2727
|
-
the way--'
|
2728
|
-
|
2729
|
-
`THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.
|
2730
|
-
|
2731
|
-
`--you advance twice--'
|
2732
|
-
|
2733
|
-
`Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.
|
2734
|
-
|
2735
|
-
`Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: `advance twice, set to
|
2736
|
-
partners--'
|
2737
|
-
|
2738
|
-
`--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the
|
2739
|
-
Gryphon.
|
2740
|
-
|
2741
|
-
`Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'
|
2742
|
-
|
2743
|
-
`The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
|
2744
|
-
|
2745
|
-
`--as far out to sea as you can--'
|
2746
|
-
|
2747
|
-
`Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.
|
2748
|
-
|
2749
|
-
`Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,
|
2750
|
-
capering wildly about.
|
2751
|
-
|
2752
|
-
`Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the
|
2753
|
-
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures,
|
2754
|
-
who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat
|
2755
|
-
down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.
|
2756
|
-
|
2757
|
-
`It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.
|
2758
|
-
|
2759
|
-
`Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.
|
2760
|
-
|
2761
|
-
`Very much indeed,' said Alice.
|
2762
|
-
|
2763
|
-
`Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the
|
2764
|
-
Gryphon. `We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall
|
2765
|
-
sing?'
|
2766
|
-
|
2767
|
-
`Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. `I've forgotten the words.'
|
2768
|
-
|
2769
|
-
So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now
|
2770
|
-
and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and
|
2771
|
-
waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle
|
2772
|
-
sang this, very slowly and sadly:--
|
2773
|
-
|
2774
|
-
|
2775
|
-
`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.
|
2776
|
-
"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my
|
2777
|
-
tail.
|
2778
|
-
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
|
2779
|
-
They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the
|
2780
|
-
dance?
|
2781
|
-
|
2782
|
-
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
|
2783
|
-
dance?
|
2784
|
-
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the
|
2785
|
-
dance?
|
2786
|
-
|
2787
|
-
|
2788
|
-
"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
|
2789
|
-
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to
|
2790
|
-
sea!"
|
2791
|
-
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look
|
2792
|
-
askance--
|
2793
|
-
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the
|
2794
|
-
dance.
|
2795
|
-
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join
|
2796
|
-
the dance.
|
2797
|
-
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join
|
2798
|
-
the dance.
|
2799
|
-
|
2800
|
-
`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
|
2801
|
-
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
|
2802
|
-
The further off from England the nearer is to France--
|
2803
|
-
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
|
2804
|
-
|
2805
|
-
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
|
2806
|
-
dance?
|
2807
|
-
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the
|
2808
|
-
dance?"'
|
2809
|
-
|
2810
|
-
|
2811
|
-
|
2812
|
-
`Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said
|
2813
|
-
Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: `and I do so
|
2814
|
-
like that curious song about the whiting!'
|
2815
|
-
|
2816
|
-
`Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you've
|
2817
|
-
seen them, of course?'
|
2818
|
-
|
2819
|
-
`Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' she
|
2820
|
-
checked herself hastily.
|
2821
|
-
|
2822
|
-
`I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `but
|
2823
|
-
if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're
|
2824
|
-
like.'
|
2825
|
-
|
2826
|
-
`I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. `They have their
|
2827
|
-
tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'
|
2828
|
-
|
2829
|
-
`You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle:
|
2830
|
-
`crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails
|
2831
|
-
in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle
|
2832
|
-
yawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and all
|
2833
|
-
that,' he said to the Gryphon.
|
2834
|
-
|
2835
|
-
`The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go with
|
2836
|
-
the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So
|
2837
|
-
they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in
|
2838
|
-
their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's all.'
|
2839
|
-
|
2840
|
-
`Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting. I never knew
|
2841
|
-
so much about a whiting before.'
|
2842
|
-
|
2843
|
-
`I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the
|
2844
|
-
Gryphon. `Do you know why it's called a whiting?'
|
2845
|
-
|
2846
|
-
`I never thought about it,' said Alice. `Why?'
|
2847
|
-
|
2848
|
-
`IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very
|
2849
|
-
solemnly.
|
2850
|
-
|
2851
|
-
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. `Does the boots and shoes!' she
|
2852
|
-
repeated in a wondering tone.
|
2853
|
-
|
2854
|
-
`Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. `I
|
2855
|
-
mean, what makes them so shiny?'
|
2856
|
-
|
2857
|
-
Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she
|
2858
|
-
gave her answer. `They're done with blacking, I believe.'
|
2859
|
-
|
2860
|
-
`Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep
|
2861
|
-
voice, `are done with a whiting. Now you know.'
|
2862
|
-
|
2863
|
-
`And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great
|
2864
|
-
curiosity.
|
2865
|
-
|
2866
|
-
`Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather
|
2867
|
-
impatiently: `any shrimp could have told you that.'
|
2868
|
-
|
2869
|
-
`If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were
|
2870
|
-
still running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep
|
2871
|
-
back, please: we don't want YOU with us!"'
|
2872
|
-
|
2873
|
-
`They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle
|
2874
|
-
said: `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'
|
2875
|
-
|
2876
|
-
`Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.
|
2877
|
-
|
2878
|
-
`Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: `why, if a fish came
|
2879
|
-
to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With
|
2880
|
-
what porpoise?"'
|
2881
|
-
|
2882
|
-
`Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.
|
2883
|
-
|
2884
|
-
`I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended
|
2885
|
-
tone. And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOUR
|
2886
|
-
adventures.'
|
2887
|
-
|
2888
|
-
`I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'
|
2889
|
-
said Alice a little timidly: `but it's no use going back to
|
2890
|
-
yesterday, because I was a different person then.'
|
2891
|
-
|
2892
|
-
`Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
2893
|
-
|
2894
|
-
`No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an
|
2895
|
-
impatient tone: `explanations take such a dreadful time.'
|
2896
|
-
|
2897
|
-
So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when
|
2898
|
-
she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about
|
2899
|
-
it just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on
|
2900
|
-
each side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she
|
2901
|
-
gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly
|
2902
|
-
quiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD,
|
2903
|
-
FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming
|
2904
|
-
different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said
|
2905
|
-
`That's very curious.'
|
2906
|
-
|
2907
|
-
`It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.
|
2908
|
-
|
2909
|
-
`It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated
|
2910
|
-
thoughtfully. `I should like to hear her try and repeat
|
2911
|
-
something now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as
|
2912
|
-
if he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.
|
2913
|
-
|
2914
|
-
`Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said
|
2915
|
-
the Gryphon.
|
2916
|
-
|
2917
|
-
`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat
|
2918
|
-
lessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.'
|
2919
|
-
However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so
|
2920
|
-
full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was
|
2921
|
-
saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
|
2922
|
-
|
2923
|
-
`'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
|
2924
|
-
"You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
|
2925
|
-
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
|
2926
|
-
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
|
2927
|
-
|
2928
|
-
[later editions continued as follows
|
2929
|
-
When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
|
2930
|
-
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
|
2931
|
-
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
|
2932
|
-
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
|
2933
|
-
|
2934
|
-
`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'
|
2935
|
-
said the Gryphon.
|
2936
|
-
|
2937
|
-
`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it
|
2938
|
-
sounds uncommon nonsense.'
|
2939
|
-
|
2940
|
-
Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her
|
2941
|
-
hands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way
|
2942
|
-
again.
|
2943
|
-
|
2944
|
-
`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
|
2945
|
-
|
2946
|
-
`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with
|
2947
|
-
the next verse.'
|
2948
|
-
|
2949
|
-
`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How COULD
|
2950
|
-
he turn them out with his nose, you know?'
|
2951
|
-
|
2952
|
-
`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was
|
2953
|
-
dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the
|
2954
|
-
subject.
|
2955
|
-
|
2956
|
-
`Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:
|
2957
|
-
`it begins "I passed by his garden."'
|
2958
|
-
|
2959
|
-
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would
|
2960
|
-
all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--
|
2961
|
-
|
2962
|
-
`I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
|
2963
|
-
How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'
|
2964
|
-
|
2965
|
-
[later editions continued as follows
|
2966
|
-
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
|
2967
|
-
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
|
2968
|
-
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
|
2969
|
-
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
|
2970
|
-
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
|
2971
|
-
And concluded the banquet--]
|
2972
|
-
|
2973
|
-
`What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
|
2974
|
-
interrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far
|
2975
|
-
the most confusing thing I ever heard!'
|
2976
|
-
|
2977
|
-
`Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and
|
2978
|
-
Alice was only too glad to do so.
|
2979
|
-
|
2980
|
-
`Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the
|
2981
|
-
Gryphon went on. `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you
|
2982
|
-
a song?'
|
2983
|
-
|
2984
|
-
`Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'
|
2985
|
-
Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather
|
2986
|
-
offended tone, `Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle
|
2987
|
-
Soup," will you, old fellow?'
|
2988
|
-
|
2989
|
-
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes
|
2990
|
-
choked with sobs, to sing this:--
|
2991
|
-
|
2992
|
-
|
2993
|
-
`Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
|
2994
|
-
Waiting in a hot tureen!
|
2995
|
-
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
|
2996
|
-
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
|
2997
|
-
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
|
2998
|
-
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
2999
|
-
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
3000
|
-
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
3001
|
-
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
|
3002
|
-
|
3003
|
-
`Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
|
3004
|
-
Game, or any other dish?
|
3005
|
-
Who would not give all else for two p
|
3006
|
-
ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
|
3007
|
-
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
|
3008
|
-
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
3009
|
-
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
|
3010
|
-
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
3011
|
-
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'
|
3012
|
-
|
3013
|
-
`Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had
|
3014
|
-
just begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!'
|
3015
|
-
was heard in the distance.
|
3016
|
-
|
3017
|
-
`Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,
|
3018
|
-
it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
|
3019
|
-
|
3020
|
-
`What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon
|
3021
|
-
only answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more
|
3022
|
-
faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the
|
3023
|
-
melancholy words:--
|
3024
|
-
|
3025
|
-
`Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
|
3026
|
-
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
|
3027
|
-
|
3028
|
-
|
3029
|
-
|
3030
|
-
CHAPTER XI
|
3031
|
-
|
3032
|
-
Who Stole the Tarts?
|
3033
|
-
|
3034
|
-
|
3035
|
-
The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
|
3036
|
-
they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts
|
3037
|
-
of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:
|
3038
|
-
the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on
|
3039
|
-
each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,
|
3040
|
-
with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the
|
3041
|
-
other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large
|
3042
|
-
dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice
|
3043
|
-
quite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,'
|
3044
|
-
she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed
|
3045
|
-
to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
|
3046
|
-
her, to pass away the time.
|
3047
|
-
|
3048
|
-
Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had
|
3049
|
-
read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that
|
3050
|
-
she knew the name of nearly everything there. `That's the
|
3051
|
-
judge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.'
|
3052
|
-
|
3053
|
-
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
|
3054
|
-
over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he
|
3055
|
-
did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly
|
3056
|
-
not becoming.
|
3057
|
-
|
3058
|
-
`And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelve
|
3059
|
-
creatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, because
|
3060
|
-
some of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose they
|
3061
|
-
are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over
|
3062
|
-
to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and
|
3063
|
-
rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the
|
3064
|
-
meaning of it at all. However, `jury-men' would have done just
|
3065
|
-
as well.
|
3066
|
-
|
3067
|
-
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.
|
3068
|
-
`What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They
|
3069
|
-
can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'
|
3070
|
-
|
3071
|
-
`They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in
|
3072
|
-
reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the
|
3073
|
-
trial.'
|
3074
|
-
|
3075
|
-
`Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but
|
3076
|
-
she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence in
|
3077
|
-
the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked
|
3078
|
-
anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
|
3079
|
-
|
3080
|
-
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their
|
3081
|
-
shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!'
|
3082
|
-
on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them
|
3083
|
-
didn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask his
|
3084
|
-
neighbour to tell him. `A nice muddle their slates'll be in
|
3085
|
-
before the trial's over!' thought Alice.
|
3086
|
-
|
3087
|
-
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course,
|
3088
|
-
Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and got
|
3089
|
-
behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it
|
3090
|
-
away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was
|
3091
|
-
Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of
|
3092
|
-
it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write
|
3093
|
-
with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
|
3094
|
-
little use, as it left no mark on the slate.
|
3095
|
-
|
3096
|
-
`Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.
|
3097
|
-
|
3098
|
-
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
|
3099
|
-
then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--
|
3100
|
-
|
3101
|
-
`The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
|
3102
|
-
All on a summer day:
|
3103
|
-
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
|
3104
|
-
And took them quite away!'
|
3105
|
-
|
3106
|
-
`Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.
|
3107
|
-
|
3108
|
-
`Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. `There's
|
3109
|
-
a great deal to come before that!'
|
3110
|
-
|
3111
|
-
`Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit
|
3112
|
-
blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `First
|
3113
|
-
witness!'
|
3114
|
-
|
3115
|
-
The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in
|
3116
|
-
one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. `I beg
|
3117
|
-
pardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in: but I
|
3118
|
-
hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'
|
3119
|
-
|
3120
|
-
`You ought to have finished,' said the King. `When did you
|
3121
|
-
begin?'
|
3122
|
-
|
3123
|
-
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
|
3124
|
-
the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. `Fourteenth of March, I
|
3125
|
-
think it was,' he said.
|
3126
|
-
|
3127
|
-
`Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.
|
3128
|
-
|
3129
|
-
`Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.
|
3130
|
-
|
3131
|
-
`Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury
|
3132
|
-
eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then
|
3133
|
-
added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
|
3134
|
-
|
3135
|
-
`Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.
|
3136
|
-
|
3137
|
-
`It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.
|
3138
|
-
|
3139
|
-
`Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who
|
3140
|
-
instantly made a memorandum of the fact.
|
3141
|
-
|
3142
|
-
`I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;
|
3143
|
-
`I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.'
|
3144
|
-
|
3145
|
-
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
|
3146
|
-
Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
|
3147
|
-
|
3148
|
-
`Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, or
|
3149
|
-
I'll have you executed on the spot.'
|
3150
|
-
|
3151
|
-
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept
|
3152
|
-
shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the
|
3153
|
-
Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his
|
3154
|
-
teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.
|
3155
|
-
|
3156
|
-
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
|
3157
|
-
puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was
|
3158
|
-
beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she
|
3159
|
-
would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she
|
3160
|
-
decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for
|
3161
|
-
her.
|
3162
|
-
|
3163
|
-
`I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was
|
3164
|
-
sitting next to her. `I can hardly breathe.'
|
3165
|
-
|
3166
|
-
`I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: `I'm growing.'
|
3167
|
-
|
3168
|
-
`You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.
|
3169
|
-
|
3170
|
-
`Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: `you know
|
3171
|
-
you're growing too.'
|
3172
|
-
|
3173
|
-
`Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse:
|
3174
|
-
`not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily
|
3175
|
-
and crossed over to the other side of the court.
|
3176
|
-
|
3177
|
-
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the
|
3178
|
-
Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to
|
3179
|
-
one of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of the
|
3180
|
-
singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter
|
3181
|
-
trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.
|
3182
|
-
|
3183
|
-
`Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll have
|
3184
|
-
you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'
|
3185
|
-
|
3186
|
-
`I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a
|
3187
|
-
trembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week
|
3188
|
-
or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and
|
3189
|
-
the twinkling of the tea--'
|
3190
|
-
|
3191
|
-
`The twinkling of the what?' said the King.
|
3192
|
-
|
3193
|
-
`It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.
|
3194
|
-
|
3195
|
-
`Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply.
|
3196
|
-
`Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'
|
3197
|
-
|
3198
|
-
`I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most things
|
3199
|
-
twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'
|
3200
|
-
|
3201
|
-
`I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
|
3202
|
-
|
3203
|
-
`You did!' said the Hatter.
|
3204
|
-
|
3205
|
-
`I deny it!' said the March Hare.
|
3206
|
-
|
3207
|
-
`He denies it,' said the King: `leave out that part.'
|
3208
|
-
|
3209
|
-
`Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,
|
3210
|
-
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the
|
3211
|
-
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.
|
3212
|
-
|
3213
|
-
`After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread-
|
3214
|
-
and-butter--'
|
3215
|
-
|
3216
|
-
`But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.
|
3217
|
-
|
3218
|
-
`That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.
|
3219
|
-
|
3220
|
-
`You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have you
|
3221
|
-
executed.'
|
3222
|
-
|
3223
|
-
The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
|
3224
|
-
and went down on one knee. `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he
|
3225
|
-
began.
|
3226
|
-
|
3227
|
-
`You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.
|
3228
|
-
|
3229
|
-
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately
|
3230
|
-
suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a
|
3231
|
-
hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had
|
3232
|
-
a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings:
|
3233
|
-
into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat
|
3234
|
-
upon it.)
|
3235
|
-
|
3236
|
-
`I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. `I've so often
|
3237
|
-
read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some
|
3238
|
-
attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the
|
3239
|
-
officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant
|
3240
|
-
till now.'
|
3241
|
-
|
3242
|
-
`If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'
|
3243
|
-
continued the King.
|
3244
|
-
|
3245
|
-
`I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: `I'm on the floor, as
|
3246
|
-
it is.'
|
3247
|
-
|
3248
|
-
`Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.
|
3249
|
-
|
3250
|
-
Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
|
3251
|
-
|
3252
|
-
`Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. `Now we
|
3253
|
-
shall get on better.'
|
3254
|
-
|
3255
|
-
`I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious
|
3256
|
-
look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
|
3257
|
-
|
3258
|
-
`You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the
|
3259
|
-
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.
|
3260
|
-
|
3261
|
-
`--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one
|
3262
|
-
of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the
|
3263
|
-
officer could get to the door.
|
3264
|
-
|
3265
|
-
`Call the next witness!' said the King.
|
3266
|
-
|
3267
|
-
The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the
|
3268
|
-
pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before
|
3269
|
-
she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began
|
3270
|
-
sneezing all at once.
|
3271
|
-
|
3272
|
-
`Give your evidence,' said the King.
|
3273
|
-
|
3274
|
-
`Shan't,' said the cook.
|
3275
|
-
|
3276
|
-
The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a
|
3277
|
-
low voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'
|
3278
|
-
|
3279
|
-
`Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy
|
3280
|
-
air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till
|
3281
|
-
his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `What
|
3282
|
-
are tarts made of?'
|
3283
|
-
|
3284
|
-
`Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.
|
3285
|
-
|
3286
|
-
`Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.
|
3287
|
-
|
3288
|
-
`Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. `Behead that
|
3289
|
-
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
|
3290
|
-
him! Off with his whiskers!'
|
3291
|
-
|
3292
|
-
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
|
3293
|
-
Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down
|
3294
|
-
again, the cook had disappeared.
|
3295
|
-
|
3296
|
-
`Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.
|
3297
|
-
`Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the
|
3298
|
-
Queen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness.
|
3299
|
-
It quite makes my forehead ache!'
|
3300
|
-
|
3301
|
-
Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,
|
3302
|
-
feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,
|
3303
|
-
`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself.
|
3304
|
-
Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top
|
3305
|
-
of his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!'
|
3306
|
-
|
3307
|
-
|
3308
|
-
|
3309
|
-
CHAPTER XII
|
3310
|
-
|
3311
|
-
Alice's Evidence
|
3312
|
-
|
3313
|
-
|
3314
|
-
`Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the
|
3315
|
-
moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she
|
3316
|
-
jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with
|
3317
|
-
the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads
|
3318
|
-
of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding
|
3319
|
-
her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset
|
3320
|
-
the week before.
|
3321
|
-
|
3322
|
-
`Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great
|
3323
|
-
dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could,
|
3324
|
-
for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and
|
3325
|
-
she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once
|
3326
|
-
and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.
|
3327
|
-
|
3328
|
-
`The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave
|
3329
|
-
voice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--
|
3330
|
-
ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as
|
3331
|
-
he said do.
|
3332
|
-
|
3333
|
-
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she
|
3334
|
-
had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing
|
3335
|
-
was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable
|
3336
|
-
to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not that
|
3337
|
-
it signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think it
|
3338
|
-
would be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'
|
3339
|
-
|
3340
|
-
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of
|
3341
|
-
being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and
|
3342
|
-
handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write
|
3343
|
-
out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed
|
3344
|
-
too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,
|
3345
|
-
gazing up into the roof of the court.
|
3346
|
-
|
3347
|
-
`What do you know about this business?' the King said to
|
3348
|
-
Alice.
|
3349
|
-
|
3350
|
-
`Nothing,' said Alice.
|
3351
|
-
|
3352
|
-
`Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
|
3353
|
-
|
3354
|
-
`Nothing whatever,' said Alice.
|
3355
|
-
|
3356
|
-
`That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.
|
3357
|
-
They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when
|
3358
|
-
the White Rabbit interrupted: `UNimportant, your Majesty means,
|
3359
|
-
of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and
|
3360
|
-
making faces at him as he spoke.
|
3361
|
-
|
3362
|
-
`UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and
|
3363
|
-
went on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--
|
3364
|
-
unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which word
|
3365
|
-
sounded best.
|
3366
|
-
|
3367
|
-
Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some
|
3368
|
-
`unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to
|
3369
|
-
look over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' she
|
3370
|
-
thought to herself.
|
3371
|
-
|
3372
|
-
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily
|
3373
|
-
writing in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read out
|
3374
|
-
from his book, `Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE
|
3375
|
-
HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'
|
3376
|
-
|
3377
|
-
Everybody looked at Alice.
|
3378
|
-
|
3379
|
-
`I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.
|
3380
|
-
|
3381
|
-
`You are,' said the King.
|
3382
|
-
|
3383
|
-
`Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.
|
3384
|
-
|
3385
|
-
`Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: `besides,
|
3386
|
-
that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'
|
3387
|
-
|
3388
|
-
`It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
|
3389
|
-
|
3390
|
-
`Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
|
3391
|
-
|
3392
|
-
The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.
|
3393
|
-
`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling
|
3394
|
-
voice.
|
3395
|
-
|
3396
|
-
`There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said
|
3397
|
-
the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper has
|
3398
|
-
just been picked up.'
|
3399
|
-
|
3400
|
-
`What's in it?' said the Queen.
|
3401
|
-
|
3402
|
-
`I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seems
|
3403
|
-
to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'
|
3404
|
-
|
3405
|
-
`It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it was
|
3406
|
-
written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'
|
3407
|
-
|
3408
|
-
`Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
|
3409
|
-
|
3410
|
-
`It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,
|
3411
|
-
there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper
|
3412
|
-
as he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set
|
3413
|
-
of verses.'
|
3414
|
-
|
3415
|
-
`Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of
|
3416
|
-
they jurymen.
|
3417
|
-
|
3418
|
-
`No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's the
|
3419
|
-
queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
|
3420
|
-
|
3421
|
-
`He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.
|
3422
|
-
(The jury all brightened up again.)
|
3423
|
-
|
3424
|
-
`Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, and
|
3425
|
-
they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'
|
3426
|
-
|
3427
|
-
`If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes the
|
3428
|
-
matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd
|
3429
|
-
have signed your name like an honest man.'
|
3430
|
-
|
3431
|
-
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the
|
3432
|
-
first really clever thing the King had said that day.
|
3433
|
-
|
3434
|
-
`That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
|
3435
|
-
|
3436
|
-
`It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. `Why, you don't
|
3437
|
-
even know what they're about!'
|
3438
|
-
|
3439
|
-
`Read them,' said the King.
|
3440
|
-
|
3441
|
-
The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. `Where shall I begin,
|
3442
|
-
please your Majesty?' he asked.
|
3443
|
-
|
3444
|
-
`Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go on
|
3445
|
-
till you come to the end: then stop.'
|
3446
|
-
|
3447
|
-
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
|
3448
|
-
|
3449
|
-
`They told me you had been to her,
|
3450
|
-
And mentioned me to him:
|
3451
|
-
She gave me a good character,
|
3452
|
-
But said I could not swim.
|
3453
|
-
|
3454
|
-
He sent them word I had not gone
|
3455
|
-
(We know it to be true):
|
3456
|
-
If she should push the matter on,
|
3457
|
-
What would become of you?
|
3458
|
-
|
3459
|
-
I gave her one, they gave him two,
|
3460
|
-
You gave us three or more;
|
3461
|
-
They all returned from him to you,
|
3462
|
-
Though they were mine before.
|
3463
|
-
|
3464
|
-
If I or she should chance to be
|
3465
|
-
Involved in this affair,
|
3466
|
-
He trusts to you to set them free,
|
3467
|
-
Exactly as we were.
|
3468
|
-
|
3469
|
-
My notion was that you had been
|
3470
|
-
(Before she had this fit)
|
3471
|
-
An obstacle that came between
|
3472
|
-
Him, and ourselves, and it.
|
3473
|
-
|
3474
|
-
Don't let him know she liked them best,
|
3475
|
-
For this must ever be
|
3476
|
-
A secret, kept from all the rest,
|
3477
|
-
Between yourself and me.'
|
3478
|
-
|
3479
|
-
`That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'
|
3480
|
-
said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'
|
3481
|
-
|
3482
|
-
`If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had
|
3483
|
-
grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit
|
3484
|
-
afraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't
|
3485
|
-
believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'
|
3486
|
-
|
3487
|
-
The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believe
|
3488
|
-
there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to
|
3489
|
-
explain the paper.
|
3490
|
-
|
3491
|
-
`If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves a
|
3492
|
-
world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And
|
3493
|
-
yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his
|
3494
|
-
knee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see some
|
3495
|
-
meaning in them, after all. "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" you
|
3496
|
-
can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.
|
3497
|
-
|
3498
|
-
The Knave shook his head sadly. `Do I look like it?' he said.
|
3499
|
-
(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
|
3500
|
-
|
3501
|
-
`All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering
|
3502
|
-
over the verses to himself: `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's
|
3503
|
-
the jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why,
|
3504
|
-
that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'
|
3505
|
-
|
3506
|
-
`But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said
|
3507
|
-
Alice.
|
3508
|
-
|
3509
|
-
`Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to
|
3510
|
-
the tarts on the table. `Nothing can be clearer than THAT.
|
3511
|
-
Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my
|
3512
|
-
dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.
|
3513
|
-
|
3514
|
-
`Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
|
3515
|
-
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off
|
3516
|
-
writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no
|
3517
|
-
mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was
|
3518
|
-
trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)
|
3519
|
-
|
3520
|
-
`Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round
|
3521
|
-
the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
|
3522
|
-
|
3523
|
-
`It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and
|
3524
|
-
everybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' the
|
3525
|
-
King said, for about the twentieth time that day.
|
3526
|
-
|
3527
|
-
`No, no!' said the Queen. `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'
|
3528
|
-
|
3529
|
-
`Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. `The idea of having
|
3530
|
-
the sentence first!'
|
3531
|
-
|
3532
|
-
`Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
|
3533
|
-
|
3534
|
-
`I won't!' said Alice.
|
3535
|
-
|
3536
|
-
`Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.
|
3537
|
-
Nobody moved.
|
3538
|
-
|
3539
|
-
`Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full
|
3540
|
-
size by this time.) `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
|
3541
|
-
|
3542
|
-
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying
|
3543
|
-
down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half
|
3544
|
-
of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on
|
3545
|
-
the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently
|
3546
|
-
brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the
|
3547
|
-
trees upon her face.
|
3548
|
-
|
3549
|
-
`Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a long
|
3550
|
-
sleep you've had!'
|
3551
|
-
|
3552
|
-
`Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told
|
3553
|
-
her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange
|
3554
|
-
Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and
|
3555
|
-
when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS a
|
3556
|
-
curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's
|
3557
|
-
getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she
|
3558
|
-
ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
|
3559
|
-
|
3560
|
-
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her
|
3561
|
-
head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of
|
3562
|
-
little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began
|
3563
|
-
dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--
|
3564
|
-
|
3565
|
-
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the
|
3566
|
-
tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes
|
3567
|
-
were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her
|
3568
|
-
voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back
|
3569
|
-
the wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--and
|
3570
|
-
still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place
|
3571
|
-
around her became alive the strange creatures of her little
|
3572
|
-
sister's dream.
|
3573
|
-
|
3574
|
-
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried
|
3575
|
-
by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the
|
3576
|
-
neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as
|
3577
|
-
the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,
|
3578
|
-
and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate
|
3579
|
-
guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the
|
3580
|
-
Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once
|
3581
|
-
more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
|
3582
|
-
slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,
|
3583
|
-
filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable
|
3584
|
-
Mock Turtle.
|
3585
|
-
|
3586
|
-
So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in
|
3587
|
-
Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and
|
3588
|
-
all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only
|
3589
|
-
rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the
|
3590
|
-
reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-
|
3591
|
-
bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd
|
3592
|
-
boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and
|
3593
|
-
all thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the
|
3594
|
-
confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the
|
3595
|
-
cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's
|
3596
|
-
heavy sobs.
|
3597
|
-
|
3598
|
-
Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of
|
3599
|
-
hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how
|
3600
|
-
she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and
|
3601
|
-
loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about
|
3602
|
-
her other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eager
|
3603
|
-
with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of
|
3604
|
-
Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their
|
3605
|
-
simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,
|
3606
|
-
remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
|
3607
|
-
|
3608
|
-
THE END
|
3609
|
-
|