RubyGems - maxml - Versions diffs - 0.0.1 - Mend

maxml 0.0.1

Files changed (14) hide show

checksums.yaml +7 -0
data/LICENSE +21 -0
data/README.md +39 -0
data/lib/maxml.rb +1 -0
data/lib/maxml/errors.rb +18 -0
data/lib/maxml/mongo_persistence.rb +45 -0
data/lib/maxml/xml.rb +47 -0
data/spec/fixtures/#reddit.xml# +3 -0
data/spec/fixtures/reddit.xml +1 -0
data/spec/fixtures/sample.xml +15 -0
data/spec/maxml_spec.rb +61 -0
data/spec/mongo_persisitence_spec.rb +53 -0
data/spec/spec_helper.rb +80 -0
metadata +100 -0

checksums.yaml ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+---
+SHA1:
+  metadata.gz: fba4c17c910de98b027690492642390fb8deaa41
+  data.tar.gz: 09beeb50cb1a2053d7ec17dc63b6b920838efe6e
+SHA512:
+  metadata.gz: e50c1f475965dea0ce7a3804d89d9bac1384b16fcc2e39fd371b49bbe8aa907f0c99da752c28f495160bdc6c0f01bafefb76038ec97fdf9fb6aa73a2b70d46ae
+  data.tar.gz: 18986067d0f6b9b8e46d9b8641a26a2e28877476a9422eccb1dbe011aefba3f2ee5cda8c1d6aaa96a2ab9073adf29f8dd3565e06f9837ff3832cc1d9ea055ea6

data/LICENSE ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+The MIT License (MIT)
+Copyright (c) 2014 David Leung
+Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy
+of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal
+in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights
+to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
+copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is
+furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:
+The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all
+copies or substantial portions of the Software.
+THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
+IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
+FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
+AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER
+LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
+OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE
+SOFTWARE.

data/README.md ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+# MaxML
+Download, parse and save an XML document to MongoDB
+## Install
+    gem install rspec
+## Usage Example
+```ruby
+# DB defaults to "localhost" for `host` and 27017 for `port`
+db_config = {database: "maxml_test", collection: "xmls"}
+reddit = MaxML::XML.new("http://www.reddit.com/.rss", db_config)
+reddit.save
+)
+```
+## Copyright and License
+Copyright © 2014 David Leung
+Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy
+of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal
+in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights
+to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
+copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is
+furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:
+The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all
+copies or substantial portions of the Software.
+THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
+IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
+FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
+AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER
+LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
+OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE
+SOFTWARE.

data/lib/maxml.rb ADDED

	@@ -0,0 +1 @@
1	+ require 'maxml/xml'

data/lib/maxml/errors.rb ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
+module MaxML
+  module Errors
+    class InvalidConfig < ArgumentError
+      def initialize
+        super("DB options should be a hash")
+      end
+    end
+    class InvalidConfigOption < ArgumentError
+      def initialize(name)
+        super("Missing DB Configuration property :#{name}. Make sure that " +
+              "MongoPersistence.config is called from your code.")
+      end
+    end
+  end
+end

data/lib/maxml/mongo_persistence.rb ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
+require 'mongo'
+require 'maxml/errors'
+module MaxML
+  class MongoPersistence
+    include Mongo
+    attr_reader :config
+    DEFAULT_CONFIG = {
+      :host => "localhost",
+      :port => 27017
+    }.freeze
+    def initialize
+      @config = DEFAULT_CONFIG.dup
+    end
+    def config=(opts)
+      conf = DEFAULT_CONFIG.merge(opts)
+      self.class.validate_config(conf)
+      @config = conf
+    end
+    def save(hash)
+      self.class.validate_config(@config)
+      client = MongoClient.new(@config[:host], @config[:port])
+      db     = client.db(@config[:database])
+      coll   = db.collection(@config[:collection])
+      coll.insert(hash)
+    end
+    def self.validate_config(opts)
+      raise Errors::InvalidConfig unless opts.is_a? Hash
+      required_keys = [:host, :port, :database, :collection]
+      required_keys.each do |key|
+        unless opts.has_key?(key)
+          raise Errors::InvalidConfigOption.new(key)
+        end
+      end
+    end
+  end # class MongoPersistence
+end # module MaxML

data/lib/maxml/xml.rb ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
+require 'open-uri'
+require 'nori'
+require 'json'
+require 'maxml/mongo_persistence'
+module MaxML
+  class XML
+    attr_reader :url, :date
+    attr_accessor :db
+    def initialize(url, db=MongoPersistence, **db_conf)
+      @url = url
+      @date = Time.now
+      @content = self.class.fetch_content(url)
+      @db = db.new
+      db_config(db_conf) unless db_conf.empty?
+    end
+    def to_s
+      @content
+    end
+    def to_json
+      to_hash.to_json
+    end
+    def to_hash
+      parser = Nori.new
+      parser.parse(@content)
+    end
+    def save
+      content = block_given? ? yield(to_hash) : to_hash
+      @db.save({url: @url, date: @date, content: content})
+    end
+    def db_config(opts)
+      @db.config = opts
+    end
+    def self.fetch_content(url)
+      uri = URI.parse(url)
+      uri.read
+    end
+  end
+end

data/spec/fixtures/#reddit.xml# ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+<rss version="2.0" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom">
+<channel><title>reddit: the front page of the internet</title><link>http://www.reddit.com/</link><description></description><image><url>http://www.reddit.com/reddit.com.header.png</url><title>reddit: the front page of the internet</title><link>http://www.reddit.com/</link></image><atom:link rel="self" href="http://www.reddit.com/.rss" type="application/rss+xml" /><item><title>My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend.</title><category>aww</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:31:18 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/lmyCN-9dO1xX2VsyzBFiWjNLuwcR52hQAyhM0_u_uY8.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend.&#34; title=&#34;My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend.&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/keatno_pizza&#34;&gt; keatno_pizza &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/&#34;&gt; aww&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/rhfiKTf.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/"&gt;[335 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/lmyCN-9dO1xX2VsyzBFiWjNLuwcR52hQAyhM0_u_uY8.jpg" /></item><item><title>Recent ultrasound result looks good.</title><category>funny</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:11:37 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/-0xo59TDcuFZMli9qoOPt1poxuhvvhKz3VJG5s8bhng.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Recent ultrasound result looks good.&#34; title=&#34;Recent ultrasound result looks good.&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/meancloth&#34;&gt; meancloth &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/&#34;&gt; funny&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/MdrKNe8.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/"&gt;[231 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Recent ultrasound result looks good.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/-0xo59TDcuFZMli9qoOPt1poxuhvvhKz3VJG5s8bhng.jpg" /></item><item><title>THE LEVEL.</title><category>pics</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:56:13 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/3Hhnv9sJDTzIJ46r1S9-OZunfxNL-dsRGw5t3Mi-JIM.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;THE LEVEL.&#34; title=&#34;THE LEVEL.&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/bluuui&#34;&gt; bluuui &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/&#34;&gt; pics&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/vqjpgUh.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/"&gt;[400 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>THE LEVEL.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/3Hhnv9sJDTzIJ46r1S9-OZunfxNL-dsRGw5t3Mi-JIM.jpg" /></item><item><title>I’m Seth Shostak, and I direct the search for extraterrestrials at the SETI Institute in California. We’re trying to find evidence of intelligent life in space: aliens at least as clever as we are. AMA!</title><category>science</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:16:52 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;!-- SC_OFF --&gt;&lt;div class=&#34;md&#34;&gt;&lt;p&gt;In a recent article in &lt;a href=&#34;https://theconversation.com/we-could-find-alien-life-but-politicians-dont-have-the-will-29304&#34;&gt;The Conversation&lt;/a&gt;, I suggested that we could find life beyond Earth within two decades if we simply made it a higher priority. Here I mean life of any kind, including those undoubtedly dominant species that are single-celled and microscopic. But of course, I want to find intelligent life – the kind that could JOIN the conversation. So AMA about life in space and our search for it!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I will be back at 1 pm EDT (5pm UTC, 6 pm BST, 10 am PDT) to answer questions, AMA.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- SC_ON --&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/sshostak&#34;&gt; sshostak &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/science/&#34;&gt; science&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/"&gt;[1827 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>Surprise!</title><category>gifs</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2et8uh/surprise/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2et8uh/surprise/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 10:54:57 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/antici_______pation&#34;&gt; antici_______pation &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/&#34;&gt; gifs&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/lyI9Qcw.gif&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2et8uh/surprise/"&gt;[96 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant</title><category>videos</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:27:15 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/NDF9083G9f0a2rmsgixoUILZxZ7rYmEr9q7JOJLfugg.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant&#34; title=&#34;Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/Roush14&#34;&gt; Roush14 &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/&#34;&gt; videos&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKnVWr2PkIU&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/"&gt;[1466 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/NDF9083G9f0a2rmsgixoUILZxZ7rYmEr9q7JOJLfugg.jpg" /></item><item><title>Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links.</title><category>gaming</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 09:00:59 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/CQyUQXVMY7uQsbnkR8EUV5el3mrSK62x1wMMjbry_wo.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links.&#34; title=&#34;Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links.&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/dudderzdude&#34;&gt; dudderzdude &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/&#34;&gt; gaming&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://imgur.com/wMDB8HU&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/"&gt;[370 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/CQyUQXVMY7uQsbnkR8EUV5el3mrSK62x1wMMjbry_wo.jpg" /></item><item><title>Russia has begun &quot;full scale invasion&quot; into Ukraine fighting now on two fronts.</title><category>worldnews</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2esuo9/russia_has_begun_full_scale_invasion_into_ukraine/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2esuo9/russia_has_begun_full_scale_invasion_into_ukraine/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 06:32:42 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/Goobiesnax&#34;&gt; Goobiesnax &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/&#34;&gt; worldnews&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/28/world/europe/ukraine-crisis/index.html&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2esuo9/russia_has_begun_full_scale_invasion_into_ukraine/"&gt;[4737 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>Louisiana Parish's drinking water tests positive for Brain-eating amoeba</title><category>news</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2etjzf/louisiana_parishs_drinking_water_tests_positive/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2etjzf/louisiana_parishs_drinking_water_tests_positive/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 13:30:43 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/absolutspacegirl&#34;&gt; absolutspacegirl &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/news/&#34;&gt; news&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://wgno.com/2014/08/28/st-john-parish-drinking-water-tests-positive-for-brain-eating-amoeba/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2etjzf/louisiana_parishs_drinking_water_tests_positive/"&gt;[184 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a 'Pleasure Squad'. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was &quot;sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears&quot;</title><category>todayilearned</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:06:53 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QONjPL7Wflj3yPHDYs3gp1sqFHOFdTa_42m7MJFcr3w.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a &#39;Pleasure Squad&#39;. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was &amp;quot;sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears&amp;quot;&#34; title=&#34;TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a &#39;Pleasure Squad&#39;. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was &amp;quot;sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears&amp;quot;&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/fmpundit&#34;&gt; fmpundit &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/&#34;&gt; todayilearned&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/asia-pacific/pleasure-squad-defector-sheds-light-on-life-of-kim-jong-il#full&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/"&gt;[178 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a 'Pleasure Squad'. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was &quot;sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears&quot;</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QONjPL7Wflj3yPHDYs3gp1sqFHOFdTa_42m7MJFcr3w.jpg" /></item><item><title>What I wait for every baseball game</title><category>sports</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:13:31 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/UUXSM87ADgFqkCODmIFUI6hs2TpUfkd0e602uChZnsQ.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;What I wait for every baseball game&#34; title=&#34;What I wait for every baseball game&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/just_wait_a_sec&#34;&gt; just_wait_a_sec &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/&#34;&gt; sports&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://imgur.com/DnI1mg8&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/"&gt;[156 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>What I wait for every baseball game</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/UUXSM87ADgFqkCODmIFUI6hs2TpUfkd0e602uChZnsQ.jpg" /></item><item><title>Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from</title><category>mildlyinteresting</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 03:47:31 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/FqUm9L2wVJSwomJrd6h_CS4ZO-ndI0OnB7T1hS6Uv50.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from&#34; title=&#34;Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/Larrychap&#34;&gt; Larrychap &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/&#34;&gt; mildlyinteresting&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/mgBAoQx.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/"&gt;[513 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/FqUm9L2wVJSwomJrd6h_CS4ZO-ndI0OnB7T1hS6Uv50.jpg" /></item><item><title>Godzilla - Concept Art</title><category>movies</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 10:27:08 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/OWy3DRVzYSfqNCMHFDSUiELA7W39LCvaSUhSpmo5j9Q.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Godzilla - Concept Art&#34; title=&#34;Godzilla - Concept Art&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/Sourcecode12&#34;&gt; Sourcecode12 &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/&#34;&gt; movies&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://imgur.com/a/bRLIe&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/"&gt;[134 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Godzilla - Concept Art</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/OWy3DRVzYSfqNCMHFDSUiELA7W39LCvaSUhSpmo5j9Q.jpg" /></item><item><title>Blind Melon - Change [90s alt] Beautiful acoustic version, and yes, they were more than a one-hit wonder</title><category>Music</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2ethr4/blind_melon_change_90s_alt_beautiful_acoustic/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2ethr4/blind_melon_change_90s_alt_beautiful_acoustic/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 13:04:38 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/pechinburger&#34;&gt; pechinburger &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/&#34;&gt; Music&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdXXgppVU4c&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2ethr4/blind_melon_change_90s_alt_beautiful_acoustic/"&gt;[151 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>I run an underground metal label AMA!</title><category>IAmA</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:08:55 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;!-- SC_OFF --&gt;&lt;div class=&#34;md&#34;&gt;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#39;ve run a small UK based independent record label for nearly a year now. We focus on underground metal, and have 5 releases out so far. People always seem interested in the day-to-day running of a label, and bands are always asking for advice, so I figured why not do an AMA (which will also help me work out this Reddit thing)!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&#34;https://twitter.com/UltharRecords/status/504948524178743296&#34;&gt;https://twitter.com/UltharRecords/status/504948524178743296&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- SC_ON --&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/EaLordoftheDeep&#34;&gt; EaLordoftheDeep &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/&#34;&gt; IAmA&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/"&gt;[450 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]</title><category>EarthPorn</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 02:08:42 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QQ_9to5jEyO_GwJosq0Or117QmTKwtPR5-TNVuSrs14.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]&#34; title=&#34;Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/IdyllicCanopy&#34;&gt; IdyllicCanopy &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/&#34;&gt; EarthPorn&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2014/237/d/b/princess_mononoke_real_forest_by_idylliccanopy-d7wovs0.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/"&gt;[134 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QQ_9to5jEyO_GwJosq0Or117QmTKwtPR5-TNVuSrs14.jpg" /></item><item><title>ELI5: What's the difference between all the various American intelligence/defense agencies?</title><category>explainlikeimfive</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:10:18 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;!-- SC_OFF --&gt;&lt;div class=&#34;md&#34;&gt;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#39;ve heard of loads of different ones - CIA, FBI, NSA, DIA, Homeland Security, DOD, DEA - but don&amp;#39;t know what the difference between each of them is. From what I can tell (at least from movies and TV shows) they all seem to have more or less the same purpose; stopping criminals and terrorists.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- SC_ON --&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/LGSIDI&#34;&gt; LGSIDI &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/&#34;&gt; explainlikeimfive&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/"&gt;[186 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book or movie and be your best friend, who would it be?</title><category>AskReddit</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:27:14 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/TheTicketeer&#34;&gt; TheTicketeer &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/&#34;&gt; AskReddit&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/"&gt;[1203 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>&quot;?!&quot; makes a sound in my head, but I can't describe what it is.</title><category>Showerthoughts</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 01:46:29 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/Zadder&#34;&gt; Zadder &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/&#34;&gt; Showerthoughts&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/"&gt;[805 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>40% of managers avoid hiring younger women to get around maternity leave [x-post /r/Economics]</title><category>TwoXChromosomes</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2etety/40_of_managers_avoid_hiring_younger_women_to_get/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2etety/40_of_managers_avoid_hiring_younger_women_to_get/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:27:15 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/lady_skendich&#34;&gt; lady_skendich &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/&#34;&gt; TwoXChromosomes&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/aug/12/managers-avoid-hiring-younger-women-maternity-leave&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2etety/40_of_managers_avoid_hiring_younger_women_to_get/"&gt;[369 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot</title><category>photoshopbattles</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 03:42:02 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/IWH6csFZXyXlZEKPVC2IolAcMJ9a2PSCD_LiI7w0Dx0.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot&#34; title=&#34;PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/Smocahontas_&#34;&gt; Smocahontas_ &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/&#34;&gt; photoshopbattles&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/soaZrwM.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/"&gt;[295 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/IWH6csFZXyXlZEKPVC2IolAcMJ9a2PSCD_LiI7w0Dx0.jpg" /></item><item><title>Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909</title><category>OldSchoolCool</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:11:13 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/WeSlIOxxx4Zu6PJMHpKFBDGILPt02OSNExpx0gTeD-4.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909&#34; title=&#34;Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/TheMagicDrake&#34;&gt; TheMagicDrake &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/&#34;&gt; OldSchoolCool&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://i.imgur.com/9NjxKIo.jpg&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/"&gt;[21 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/WeSlIOxxx4Zu6PJMHpKFBDGILPt02OSNExpx0gTeD-4.jpg" /></item><item><title>A husband and wife are having dinner...</title><category>Jokes</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 07:58:47 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;!-- SC_OFF --&gt;&lt;div class=&#34;md&#34;&gt;&lt;p&gt;A husband and wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she&amp;#39;ll see him later and walks away. ‪‪ The wife glares at her husband and says, &amp;quot;Who in the hell was that?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Oh,&amp;quot; replies the husband, &amp;quot;She&amp;#39;s my mistress.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Well, that&amp;#39;s the last straw,&amp;quot; says the wife. &amp;quot;I&amp;#39;ve had enough. I want a divorce!&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;I can understand that,&amp;quot; replies her husband, &amp;quot;But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage, and no more yacht club. Not only that, but no more diamonds, no more credit card, and large bank account.&amp;quot; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;But, he said, &amp;quot;The decision is all yours.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Just then, a mutual friend of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;Who&amp;#39;s that woman with Bobby?&amp;quot; asks the wife.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&amp;quot;That&amp;#39;s his mistress,&amp;quot; says the husband.&lt;br/&gt; &amp;quot;Ours is prettier,&amp;quot; she replies !&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- SC_ON --&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/he19&#34;&gt; he19 &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/&#34;&gt; Jokes&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/"&gt;[167 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item><item><title>NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018</title><category>Futurology</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 06:41:30 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;table&gt; &lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/&#34;&gt;&lt;img src=&#34;http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/rvt6BGXwWw8Mjqdrc-scJzvniYLxRHp9ficX_kev39g.jpg&#34; alt=&#34;NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018&#34; title=&#34;NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018&#34; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/ImLivingAmongYou&#34;&gt; ImLivingAmongYou &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/&#34;&gt; Futurology&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://spaceindustrynews.com/nasa-completes-key-review-of-worlds-most-powerful-rocket-in-support-of-journey-to-mars/4668/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/"&gt;[100 comments]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</description><media:title>NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/rvt6BGXwWw8Mjqdrc-scJzvniYLxRHp9ficX_kev39g.jpg" /></item><item><title>TIFU by wearing white underwear and a suit to a party [nsfw warning, feces]</title><category>tifu</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 03:53:43 +0000</pubDate><description>&lt;!-- SC_OFF --&gt;&lt;div class=&#34;md&#34;&gt;&lt;p&gt;I&amp;#39;ve lurked on this sub for a while and I think it&amp;#39;s time that I tell my story of how I massively fucked up and made an idiot of myself in front of my entire graduating class.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I graduated from high school last May. During my 4 years, I&amp;#39;ve never been to an actual party. I&amp;#39;ve tasted alcohol in small sips but I haven&amp;#39;t touched drugs, and needless to say, I haven&amp;#39;t done anything with any girls. I never really got out much and just kept to myself the entire time. Oh well. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;This past July, some of the popular kids from my graduating class threw a huge party as a last goodbye to their high school years. Everyone in my graduating class was invited. Sadly nobody mentioned this to me personally, but I got the details via Facebook and decided that I wanted at least one good high school memory, and I decided that I would actually go to this thing.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;When it hit me that I was finally going to change my life and start doing actual stuff like partying instead of staying home all day, I got pretty excited, I felt like I was finally in control of my life. I felt like I could come out of my shell and do something cool. I was also pretty anxious because I felt like this would finally be an opportunity for me to get intimate or even lose my virginity. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I cringe now that I have to think about it, but in the midst of my excitement I thought it would be a good idea to wear a suit to this party. I dunno, it seemed it would have been a special and memorable night and I wanted to look good. I get it, there&amp;#39;s always &lt;em&gt;that guy&lt;/em&gt; who feels the need to wear a suit at in inappropriate time, and I was that guy. Needless to say, I&amp;#39;m not exactly in shape and the suit fitted on me very, very poorly. It was baggy in some areas and tight in others, but at the time I didn&amp;#39;t care because I thought I looked sharp. I wore white underwear, this is important later on. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I show up to party, at a massive house owned by this rich kid on the football team, and it&amp;#39;s pretty much already packed. People are in the backyard, the front yard, and inside. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;So I live in Miami, which is in South Florida. As you can imagine, on this particular Saturday night in July, it was over 100 degrees F and excessively humid. Pair that with a thick wool suit, I exit my car already drenched in sweat. Everyone is wearing normal clothes, shorts and t-shirts, so I look like the odd one out. I immediately start to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and out of place, but I decide to start walking around, ignoring people&amp;#39;s stares.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;My antics during the party aren&amp;#39;t integral to my TIFU. As you can probably imagine, for the next 2-3 hours I wandered aimlessly, awkwardly standing by the drink/snack tables for most of the time, trying to figure out how I could strike up a conversation or do anything at all to make myself not a loser. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;My fuck up started at midnight.&lt;/strong&gt; I&amp;#39;m standing by the drink area holding a can of beer that I could barely drink because it tasted so fucking gross. I&amp;#39;m deeply regretting my choice of attire and my decision to even show up. I&amp;#39;m drenched in sweat and pretty down in the dumps over the whole night, wishing I was at home watching TV or playing a game or something. A group of girls approach and start pouring themselves a shitload of drinks. In the group was a girl, we&amp;#39;ll call her K. She wasn&amp;#39;t really hot by most standards, but definitely not ugly. K was known for being extremely promiscuous. I was never really in the know about these sorts of things, but I still heard fuckloads of stories about K giving head, doing threesomes, and getting fucked in every direction with pretty much any guy on every sports team. When she came nearby I could hear her bragging about having sex with the host and the other girls giggling. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I decide, you know what, fuck it, I&amp;#39;m just going to say something because I didn&amp;#39;t have that much to lose. I put on a confident face and start talking to her. I guess it&amp;#39;s because she&amp;#39;s just extroverted and tipsy, but she actually responded to me. I offered to get her a drink and she says ok, so we both walk towards the table where the drinks are, at this point her friends are left behind and it&amp;#39;s just us. she asks why I&amp;#39;m wearing a suit. I can feel my face turning bright red and awkwardly say &amp;quot;yeah just wanted to look good I guess&amp;quot;. I tell her she looked great and she said thanks. I just kind of awkwardly blurted out &amp;quot;maybe this suit will get me laid&amp;quot;. She started giggling and said &amp;quot;you need it, you are definitely a virgin, i can tell&amp;quot;. I was too nervous to say anything so I tried to smile, and she just kept laughing. After an awkward pause I said &amp;quot;do you want to hook up?&amp;quot; At this point, I&amp;#39;m just like, what the hell, I might as well try, and given her willingness to have sex with just about anyone, I figured I might have a shot. So I&amp;#39;m standing there with my face bright red trying to act cool and collected and she is staring at me with her mouth open. I definitely expected the worst, but she started giggling and said &amp;quot;Yes, but only because you&amp;#39;re a virgin&amp;quot; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I followed her into a bedroom on the 2nd floor and she closed the door behind us. we stood in front of the foot of the bed. the room itself was decently large, with a single bed, bedside table, television, and a closet on the other side of the bed. it was very dimly lit, i could barely see her. she let me kiss her a few times, and obviously i sucked at it, but it was my first time and i was mind-blowlingly excited. it was finally about to happen. i put my arms awkwardly around her midsection like a hug and let her do most of the mouth work while i touched her ass and boobs. she was wearing a really skimpy pair of shorts that she slid off while i took off my slacks.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Here&amp;#39;s where things go really fucking bad&lt;/strong&gt;. she pulls off her panties and steps back, and pushes them between my lips. it was wildly sexy, and with my inexperience and in the heat of the moment and i took my underpants off and did the same thing to her. She immediately pushes it away from her mouth and starts gagging. I immediately flicked on the light, and that&amp;#39;s when I notice the smell and realize what the fuck I had just done. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Given the heat, the humidity, and my attire, I was sweating like crazy, and had a case of massive swamp-ass. basically, the sweat from my ass mixed with the dried fecal matter in my ass itself, and caked my white underwear with a dark brown liquid. I&amp;#39;m not talking about little streaks, but big wet splotches that smelled absolutely rancid. I had pushed my underwear, wet with my feces juices, into her mouth and onto her tongue. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;She saw the underwear, now on the ground, brown side up, and started spitting and screaming &amp;quot;WHAT THE FUCK THOMAS? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING DISGUSTING WEIRDO, THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES YOU&amp;quot; as I&amp;#39;m struggling to put my slacks back on&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I&amp;#39;m standing there staring at my underwear absolutely fucking mortified and embarrassed while she screamed and tried to wash the taste out of her mouth with beer. She was literally on the verge of tears. I was in shock, I could barely process what the fuck just happened and what I was to do at this point. I just wanted to blow my brains out.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;The host and two other guys barge in and shout &amp;quot;WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHO&amp;#39;S SCREAMING?&amp;quot;...they see K washing her mouth out and my shit stained underpants on the ground and give me this vicious glare mixed with a &lt;em&gt;what-the-fuck-man?&lt;/em&gt; stare. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I dart out the door, pushing past a bunch of people who were in the hallway that heard the commotion and were trying to see what was going on inside. I hustle downstairs, at this point I&amp;#39;m almost about to cry too, and everyone was staring at me. I made it across the main hallway towards the front door when the guys were on the balcony above, shouting &amp;quot;THOMAS FUCKING SHIT HIS PANTS&amp;quot; I could feel everyone&amp;#39;s eyes on me as I slammed the front door shut and scrambled to my car. I went home that night and just sat in bed trying to process what just happened. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Next morning, I wake up to a fuckload of hate messages on Facebook, I see statuses about &amp;quot;that weird kid who shit his pants at [...]&amp;#39;s party last night&amp;quot;. So I deleted my Facebook altogether and at this point it embarrasses me to even think about what happened but I am comforted by the fact that I&amp;#39;ll never have to see these people again and I ended up getting physical with a decently attractive girl. Here&amp;#39;s to hoping my college years aren&amp;#39;t as bad as my highschool years. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TLDR: shoved my shit-caked underpants into a girl&amp;#39;s mouth, now everyone that knows me hates me&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;!-- SC_ON --&gt; submitted by &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/user/im_too_dumb&#34;&gt; im_too_dumb &lt;/a&gt; to &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/&#34;&gt; tifu&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href=&#34;http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/&#34;&gt;[link]&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/"&gt;[404 comments]&lt;/a&gt;</description></item></channel></rss>

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+ <?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"><channel><title>reddit: the front page of the internet</title><link>http://www.reddit.com/</link><description></description><image><url>http://www.reddit.com/reddit.com.header.png</url><title>reddit: the front page of the internet</title><link>http://www.reddit.com/</link></image><atom:link rel="self" href="http://www.reddit.com/.rss" type="application/rss+xml" /><item><title>My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend.</title><category>aww</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:31:18 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/"><img src="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/lmyCN-9dO1xX2VsyzBFiWjNLuwcR52hQAyhM0_u_uY8.jpg" alt="My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend." title="My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend." /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/keatno_pizza"> keatno_pizza </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/"> aww</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/rhfiKTf.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/2etf4h/my_boyfriend_and_i_met_at_the_dog_park_so_it_was/">[335 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>My boyfriend and I met at the dog park, so it was really their 2 year anniversary last weekend.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/lmyCN-9dO1xX2VsyzBFiWjNLuwcR52hQAyhM0_u_uY8.jpg" /></item><item><title>Recent ultrasound result looks good.</title><category>funny</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:11:37 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/-0xo59TDcuFZMli9qoOPt1poxuhvvhKz3VJG5s8bhng.jpg" alt="Recent ultrasound result looks good." title="Recent ultrasound result looks good." /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/meancloth"> meancloth </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/"> funny</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/MdrKNe8.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2etdpv/recent_ultrasound_result_looks_good/">[231 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Recent ultrasound result looks good.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/-0xo59TDcuFZMli9qoOPt1poxuhvvhKz3VJG5s8bhng.jpg" /></item><item><title>THE LEVEL.</title><category>pics</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:56:13 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/3Hhnv9sJDTzIJ46r1S9-OZunfxNL-dsRGw5t3Mi-JIM.jpg" alt="THE LEVEL." title="THE LEVEL." /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/bluuui"> bluuui </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/"> pics</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/vqjpgUh.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2etcoj/the_level/">[400 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>THE LEVEL.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/3Hhnv9sJDTzIJ46r1S9-OZunfxNL-dsRGw5t3Mi-JIM.jpg" /></item><item><title>I’m Seth Shostak, and I direct the search for extraterrestrials at the SETI Institute in California. We’re trying to find evidence of intelligent life in space: aliens at least as clever as we are. AMA!</title><category>science</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:16:52 +0000</pubDate><description><div class="md"><p>In a recent article in <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-could-find-alien-life-but-politicians-dont-have-the-will-29304">The Conversation</a>, I suggested that we could find life beyond Earth within two decades if we simply made it a higher priority. Here I mean life of any kind, including those undoubtedly dominant species that are single-celled and microscopic. But of course, I want to find intelligent life – the kind that could JOIN the conversation. So AMA about life in space and our search for it!</p> <p>I will be back at 1 pm EDT (5pm UTC, 6 pm BST, 10 am PDT) to answer questions, AMA.</p> </div> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/sshostak"> sshostak </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/science/"> science</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/2eta6t/im_seth_shostak_and_i_direct_the_search_for/">[1827 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>Surprise!</title><category>gifs</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2et8uh/surprise/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2et8uh/surprise/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 10:54:57 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/antici_______pation"> antici_______pation </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/"> gifs</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/lyI9Qcw.gif">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2et8uh/surprise/">[96 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant</title><category>videos</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 08:27:15 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/NDF9083G9f0a2rmsgixoUILZxZ7rYmEr9q7JOJLfugg.jpg" alt="Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant" title="Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Roush14"> Roush14 </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/"> videos</a> <br/> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKnVWr2PkIU">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2et10i/little_boy_goes_off_on_his_mom_for_getting/">[1466 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Little boy goes off on his mom for getting pregnant</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/NDF9083G9f0a2rmsgixoUILZxZ7rYmEr9q7JOJLfugg.jpg" /></item><item><title>Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links.</title><category>gaming</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 09:00:59 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/CQyUQXVMY7uQsbnkR8EUV5el3mrSK62x1wMMjbry_wo.jpg" alt="Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links." title="Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links." /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/dudderzdude"> dudderzdude </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/"> gaming</a> <br/> <a href="http://imgur.com/wMDB8HU">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2et2o2/just_had_an_encounter_with_a_phisher_and_wanted/">[370 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Just had an encounter with a phisher and wanted to remind everybody not to fall for their fake links.</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/CQyUQXVMY7uQsbnkR8EUV5el3mrSK62x1wMMjbry_wo.jpg" /></item><item><title>Russia has begun "full scale invasion" into Ukraine fighting now on two fronts.</title><category>worldnews</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2esuo9/russia_has_begun_full_scale_invasion_into_ukraine/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2esuo9/russia_has_begun_full_scale_invasion_into_ukraine/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 06:32:42 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Goobiesnax"> Goobiesnax </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/"> worldnews</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/28/world/europe/ukraine-crisis/index.html">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/2esuo9/russia_has_begun_full_scale_invasion_into_ukraine/">[4737 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>Louisiana Parish's drinking water tests positive for Brain-eating amoeba</title><category>news</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2etjzf/louisiana_parishs_drinking_water_tests_positive/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2etjzf/louisiana_parishs_drinking_water_tests_positive/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 13:30:43 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/absolutspacegirl"> absolutspacegirl </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/news/"> news</a> <br/> <a href="http://wgno.com/2014/08/28/st-john-parish-drinking-water-tests-positive-for-brain-eating-amoeba/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2etjzf/louisiana_parishs_drinking_water_tests_positive/">[184 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a 'Pleasure Squad'. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was "sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears"</title><category>todayilearned</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:06:53 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QONjPL7Wflj3yPHDYs3gp1sqFHOFdTa_42m7MJFcr3w.jpg" alt="TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a 'Pleasure Squad'. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was &quot;sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears&quot;" title="TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a 'Pleasure Squad'. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was &quot;sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears&quot;" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/fmpundit"> fmpundit </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/"> todayilearned</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/asia-pacific/pleasure-squad-defector-sheds-light-on-life-of-kim-jong-il#full">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2et9k8/til_north_korea_enlists_around_2000_women_as_part/">[178 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>TIL North Korea enlists around 2000 women as part of a 'Pleasure Squad'. These are attractive women who provide entertainment and sexual services for top officials. One defector says Kim Jong-il was "sentimental when drunk, and even shed tears"</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QONjPL7Wflj3yPHDYs3gp1sqFHOFdTa_42m7MJFcr3w.jpg" /></item><item><title>What I wait for every baseball game</title><category>sports</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:13:31 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/UUXSM87ADgFqkCODmIFUI6hs2TpUfkd0e602uChZnsQ.jpg" alt="What I wait for every baseball game" title="What I wait for every baseball game" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/just_wait_a_sec"> just_wait_a_sec </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/"> sports</a> <br/> <a href="http://imgur.com/DnI1mg8">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/2etntz/what_i_wait_for_every_baseball_game/">[156 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>What I wait for every baseball game</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/UUXSM87ADgFqkCODmIFUI6hs2TpUfkd0e602uChZnsQ.jpg" /></item><item><title>Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from</title><category>mildlyinteresting</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 03:47:31 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/"><img src="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/FqUm9L2wVJSwomJrd6h_CS4ZO-ndI0OnB7T1hS6Uv50.jpg" alt="Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from" title="Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Larrychap"> Larrychap </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/"> mildlyinteresting</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/mgBAoQx.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2esie3/somebody_shot_the_tree_that_my_2x4_was_made_from/">[513 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Somebody shot the tree that my 2x4 was made from</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/FqUm9L2wVJSwomJrd6h_CS4ZO-ndI0OnB7T1hS6Uv50.jpg" /></item><item><title>Godzilla - Concept Art</title><category>movies</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 10:27:08 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/OWy3DRVzYSfqNCMHFDSUiELA7W39LCvaSUhSpmo5j9Q.jpg" alt="Godzilla - Concept Art" title="Godzilla - Concept Art" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Sourcecode12"> Sourcecode12 </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/"> movies</a> <br/> <a href="http://imgur.com/a/bRLIe">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/2et750/godzilla_concept_art/">[134 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Godzilla - Concept Art</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/OWy3DRVzYSfqNCMHFDSUiELA7W39LCvaSUhSpmo5j9Q.jpg" /></item><item><title>Blind Melon - Change [90s alt] Beautiful acoustic version, and yes, they were more than a one-hit wonder</title><category>Music</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2ethr4/blind_melon_change_90s_alt_beautiful_acoustic/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2ethr4/blind_melon_change_90s_alt_beautiful_acoustic/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 13:04:38 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/pechinburger"> pechinburger </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/"> Music</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdXXgppVU4c">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2ethr4/blind_melon_change_90s_alt_beautiful_acoustic/">[151 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>I run an underground metal label AMA!</title><category>IAmA</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:08:55 +0000</pubDate><description><div class="md"><p>I&#39;ve run a small UK based independent record label for nearly a year now. We focus on underground metal, and have 5 releases out so far. People always seem interested in the day-to-day running of a label, and bands are always asking for advice, so I figured why not do an AMA (which will also help me work out this Reddit thing)!</p> <p><a href="https://twitter.com/UltharRecords/status/504948524178743296">https://twitter.com/UltharRecords/status/504948524178743296</a></p> </div> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/EaLordoftheDeep"> EaLordoftheDeep </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/"> IAmA</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2et9op/i_run_an_underground_metal_label_ama/">[450 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]</title><category>EarthPorn</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 02:08:42 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/"><img src="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QQ_9to5jEyO_GwJosq0Or117QmTKwtPR5-TNVuSrs14.jpg" alt="Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]" title="Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/IdyllicCanopy"> IdyllicCanopy </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/"> EarthPorn</a> <br/> <a href="http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2014/237/d/b/princess_mononoke_real_forest_by_idylliccanopy-d7wovs0.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/EarthPorn/comments/2es94f/princess_mononoke_forest_yakushima_island_japan/">[134 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Princess Mononoke forest, Yakushima island, Japan [OC][1024x681]</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/QQ_9to5jEyO_GwJosq0Or117QmTKwtPR5-TNVuSrs14.jpg" /></item><item><title>ELI5: What's the difference between all the various American intelligence/defense agencies?</title><category>explainlikeimfive</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:10:18 +0000</pubDate><description><div class="md"><p>I&#39;ve heard of loads of different ones - CIA, FBI, NSA, DIA, Homeland Security, DOD, DEA - but don&#39;t know what the difference between each of them is. From what I can tell (at least from movies and TV shows) they all seem to have more or less the same purpose; stopping criminals and terrorists.</p> </div> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/LGSIDI"> LGSIDI </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/"> explainlikeimfive</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2et9rz/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_all_the_various/">[186 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book or movie and be your best friend, who would it be?</title><category>AskReddit</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 11:27:14 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/TheTicketeer"> TheTicketeer </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/"> AskReddit</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2etat7/if_you_could_bring_one_character_to_life_from/">[1203 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>"?!" makes a sound in my head, but I can't describe what it is.</title><category>Showerthoughts</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 01:46:29 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Zadder"> Zadder </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/"> Showerthoughts</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/2es6x5/makes_a_sound_in_my_head_but_i_cant_describe_what/">[805 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>40% of managers avoid hiring younger women to get around maternity leave [x-post /r/Economics]</title><category>TwoXChromosomes</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2etety/40_of_managers_avoid_hiring_younger_women_to_get/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2etety/40_of_managers_avoid_hiring_younger_women_to_get/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 12:27:15 +0000</pubDate><description>submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/lady_skendich"> lady_skendich </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/"> TwoXChromosomes</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/aug/12/managers-avoid-hiring-younger-women-maternity-leave">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2etety/40_of_managers_avoid_hiring_younger_women_to_get/">[369 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot</title><category>photoshopbattles</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 03:42:02 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/"><img src="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/IWH6csFZXyXlZEKPVC2IolAcMJ9a2PSCD_LiI7w0Dx0.jpg" alt="PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot" title="PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Smocahontas_"> Smocahontas_ </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/"> photoshopbattles</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/soaZrwM.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/photoshopbattles/comments/2eshwc/psbattle_a_museum_model_of_bigfoot/">[295 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>PsBattle: A museum model of Bigfoot</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/IWH6csFZXyXlZEKPVC2IolAcMJ9a2PSCD_LiI7w0Dx0.jpg" /></item><item><title>Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909</title><category>OldSchoolCool</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:11:13 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/"><img src="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/WeSlIOxxx4Zu6PJMHpKFBDGILPt02OSNExpx0gTeD-4.jpg" alt="Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909" title="Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/TheMagicDrake"> TheMagicDrake </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/"> OldSchoolCool</a> <br/> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/9NjxKIo.jpg">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/2etnm1/young_kenyan_woman_holds_her_pet_deer_in_mombassa/">[21 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>Young Kenyan woman holds her pet deer in Mombassa, March 1909</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/WeSlIOxxx4Zu6PJMHpKFBDGILPt02OSNExpx0gTeD-4.jpg" /></item><item><title>A husband and wife are having dinner...</title><category>Jokes</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 07:58:47 +0000</pubDate><description><div class="md"><p>A husband and wife are having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she&#39;ll see him later and walks away. ‪‪ The wife glares at her husband and says, &quot;Who in the hell was that?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Oh,&quot; replies the husband, &quot;She&#39;s my mistress.&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Well, that&#39;s the last straw,&quot; says the wife. &quot;I&#39;ve had enough. I want a divorce!&quot;</p> <p>&quot;I can understand that,&quot; replies her husband, &quot;But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Jaguar in the garage, and no more yacht club. Not only that, but no more diamonds, no more credit card, and large bank account.&quot; </p> <p>&quot;But, he said, &quot;The decision is all yours.&quot;</p> <p>Just then, a mutual friend of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.</p> <p>&quot;Who&#39;s that woman with Bobby?&quot; asks the wife.</p> <p>&quot;That&#39;s his mistress,&quot; says the husband.<br/> &quot;Ours is prettier,&quot; she replies !</p> </div> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/he19"> he19 </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/"> Jokes</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2eszjh/a_husband_and_wife_are_having_dinner/">[167 comments]</a></description></item><item><title>NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018</title><category>Futurology</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 06:41:30 +0000</pubDate><description><table> <tr><td> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/"><img src="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/rvt6BGXwWw8Mjqdrc-scJzvniYLxRHp9ficX_kev39g.jpg" alt="NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018" title="NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018" /></a> </td><td> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/ImLivingAmongYou"> ImLivingAmongYou </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/"> Futurology</a> <br/> <a href="http://spaceindustrynews.com/nasa-completes-key-review-of-worlds-most-powerful-rocket-in-support-of-journey-to-mars/4668/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/Futurology/comments/2esv7x/nasa_confirms_that_their_rocket_to_mars_will_have/">[100 comments]</a> </td></tr></table></description><media:title>NASA confirms that their rocket to Mars will have first launch in 2018</media:title><media:thumbnail url="http://b.thumbs.redditmedia.com/rvt6BGXwWw8Mjqdrc-scJzvniYLxRHp9ficX_kev39g.jpg" /></item><item><title>TIFU by wearing white underwear and a suit to a party [nsfw warning, feces]</title><category>tifu</category><link>http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/</link><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2014 03:53:43 +0000</pubDate><description><div class="md"><p>I&#39;ve lurked on this sub for a while and I think it&#39;s time that I tell my story of how I massively fucked up and made an idiot of myself in front of my entire graduating class.</p> <p>I graduated from high school last May. During my 4 years, I&#39;ve never been to an actual party. I&#39;ve tasted alcohol in small sips but I haven&#39;t touched drugs, and needless to say, I haven&#39;t done anything with any girls. I never really got out much and just kept to myself the entire time. Oh well. </p> <p>This past July, some of the popular kids from my graduating class threw a huge party as a last goodbye to their high school years. Everyone in my graduating class was invited. Sadly nobody mentioned this to me personally, but I got the details via Facebook and decided that I wanted at least one good high school memory, and I decided that I would actually go to this thing.</p> <p>When it hit me that I was finally going to change my life and start doing actual stuff like partying instead of staying home all day, I got pretty excited, I felt like I was finally in control of my life. I felt like I could come out of my shell and do something cool. I was also pretty anxious because I felt like this would finally be an opportunity for me to get intimate or even lose my virginity. </p> <p>I cringe now that I have to think about it, but in the midst of my excitement I thought it would be a good idea to wear a suit to this party. I dunno, it seemed it would have been a special and memorable night and I wanted to look good. I get it, there&#39;s always <em>that guy</em> who feels the need to wear a suit at in inappropriate time, and I was that guy. Needless to say, I&#39;m not exactly in shape and the suit fitted on me very, very poorly. It was baggy in some areas and tight in others, but at the time I didn&#39;t care because I thought I looked sharp. I wore white underwear, this is important later on. </p> <p>I show up to party, at a massive house owned by this rich kid on the football team, and it&#39;s pretty much already packed. People are in the backyard, the front yard, and inside. </p> <p>So I live in Miami, which is in South Florida. As you can imagine, on this particular Saturday night in July, it was over 100 degrees F and excessively humid. Pair that with a thick wool suit, I exit my car already drenched in sweat. Everyone is wearing normal clothes, shorts and t-shirts, so I look like the odd one out. I immediately start to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable and out of place, but I decide to start walking around, ignoring people&#39;s stares.</p> <p>My antics during the party aren&#39;t integral to my TIFU. As you can probably imagine, for the next 2-3 hours I wandered aimlessly, awkwardly standing by the drink/snack tables for most of the time, trying to figure out how I could strike up a conversation or do anything at all to make myself not a loser. </p> <p><strong>My fuck up started at midnight.</strong> I&#39;m standing by the drink area holding a can of beer that I could barely drink because it tasted so fucking gross. I&#39;m deeply regretting my choice of attire and my decision to even show up. I&#39;m drenched in sweat and pretty down in the dumps over the whole night, wishing I was at home watching TV or playing a game or something. A group of girls approach and start pouring themselves a shitload of drinks. In the group was a girl, we&#39;ll call her K. She wasn&#39;t really hot by most standards, but definitely not ugly. K was known for being extremely promiscuous. I was never really in the know about these sorts of things, but I still heard fuckloads of stories about K giving head, doing threesomes, and getting fucked in every direction with pretty much any guy on every sports team. When she came nearby I could hear her bragging about having sex with the host and the other girls giggling. </p> <p>I decide, you know what, fuck it, I&#39;m just going to say something because I didn&#39;t have that much to lose. I put on a confident face and start talking to her. I guess it&#39;s because she&#39;s just extroverted and tipsy, but she actually responded to me. I offered to get her a drink and she says ok, so we both walk towards the table where the drinks are, at this point her friends are left behind and it&#39;s just us. she asks why I&#39;m wearing a suit. I can feel my face turning bright red and awkwardly say &quot;yeah just wanted to look good I guess&quot;. I tell her she looked great and she said thanks. I just kind of awkwardly blurted out &quot;maybe this suit will get me laid&quot;. She started giggling and said &quot;you need it, you are definitely a virgin, i can tell&quot;. I was too nervous to say anything so I tried to smile, and she just kept laughing. After an awkward pause I said &quot;do you want to hook up?&quot; At this point, I&#39;m just like, what the hell, I might as well try, and given her willingness to have sex with just about anyone, I figured I might have a shot. So I&#39;m standing there with my face bright red trying to act cool and collected and she is staring at me with her mouth open. I definitely expected the worst, but she started giggling and said &quot;Yes, but only because you&#39;re a virgin&quot; </p> <p>I followed her into a bedroom on the 2nd floor and she closed the door behind us. we stood in front of the foot of the bed. the room itself was decently large, with a single bed, bedside table, television, and a closet on the other side of the bed. it was very dimly lit, i could barely see her. she let me kiss her a few times, and obviously i sucked at it, but it was my first time and i was mind-blowlingly excited. it was finally about to happen. i put my arms awkwardly around her midsection like a hug and let her do most of the mouth work while i touched her ass and boobs. she was wearing a really skimpy pair of shorts that she slid off while i took off my slacks.</p> <p><strong>Here&#39;s where things go really fucking bad</strong>. she pulls off her panties and steps back, and pushes them between my lips. it was wildly sexy, and with my inexperience and in the heat of the moment and i took my underpants off and did the same thing to her. She immediately pushes it away from her mouth and starts gagging. I immediately flicked on the light, and that&#39;s when I notice the smell and realize what the fuck I had just done. </p> <p>Given the heat, the humidity, and my attire, I was sweating like crazy, and had a case of massive swamp-ass. basically, the sweat from my ass mixed with the dried fecal matter in my ass itself, and caked my white underwear with a dark brown liquid. I&#39;m not talking about little streaks, but big wet splotches that smelled absolutely rancid. I had pushed my underwear, wet with my feces juices, into her mouth and onto her tongue. </p> <p>She saw the underwear, now on the ground, brown side up, and started spitting and screaming &quot;WHAT THE FUCK THOMAS? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING DISGUSTING WEIRDO, THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES YOU&quot; as I&#39;m struggling to put my slacks back on</p> <p>I&#39;m standing there staring at my underwear absolutely fucking mortified and embarrassed while she screamed and tried to wash the taste out of her mouth with beer. She was literally on the verge of tears. I was in shock, I could barely process what the fuck just happened and what I was to do at this point. I just wanted to blow my brains out.</p> <p>The host and two other guys barge in and shout &quot;WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHO&#39;S SCREAMING?&quot;...they see K washing her mouth out and my shit stained underpants on the ground and give me this vicious glare mixed with a <em>what-the-fuck-man?</em> stare. </p> <p>I dart out the door, pushing past a bunch of people who were in the hallway that heard the commotion and were trying to see what was going on inside. I hustle downstairs, at this point I&#39;m almost about to cry too, and everyone was staring at me. I made it across the main hallway towards the front door when the guys were on the balcony above, shouting &quot;THOMAS FUCKING SHIT HIS PANTS&quot; I could feel everyone&#39;s eyes on me as I slammed the front door shut and scrambled to my car. I went home that night and just sat in bed trying to process what just happened. </p> <p>Next morning, I wake up to a fuckload of hate messages on Facebook, I see statuses about &quot;that weird kid who shit his pants at [...]&#39;s party last night&quot;. So I deleted my Facebook altogether and at this point it embarrasses me to even think about what happened but I am comforted by the fact that I&#39;ll never have to see these people again and I ended up getting physical with a decently attractive girl. Here&#39;s to hoping my college years aren&#39;t as bad as my highschool years. </p> <p><strong>TLDR: shoved my shit-caked underpants into a girl&#39;s mouth, now everyone that knows me hates me</strong></p> </div> submitted by <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/im_too_dumb"> im_too_dumb </a> to <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/"> tifu</a> <br/> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/">[link]</a> <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2esixx/tifu_by_wearing_white_underwear_and_a_suit_to_a/">[404 comments]</a></description></item></channel></rss>

data/spec/fixtures/sample.xml ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+<rss version="2.0"
+     xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
+     xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/"
+     xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom">
+  <channel>
+    <title>XML Sitemaps RSS Feed</title>
+    <link>http://www.example.com/</link>
+    <description>Example.com - Feed</description>
+    <item>
+	<title>First Post</title>
+    </item>
+  </channel>
+</rss>

data/spec/maxml_spec.rb ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+require 'spec_helper'
+require 'webmock/rspec/matchers'
+require "maxml/xml"
+require 'json'
+require 'mongo'
+describe MaxML::XML do
+  URL = "http://www.example.com/sitemap.xml".freeze
+  XML_DOC = File.read("spec/fixtures/sample.xml").freeze
+  let(:xml) { MaxML::XML.new(URL) }
+  before(:each) do
+    stub_request(:get, URL).to_return(:body => XML_DOC)
+  end
+  it "should fetch XML content from remote server on creation" do
+    xml
+    expect(a_request(:any, URL)).to have_been_requested.once
+  end
+  it "should convert XML to JSON" do
+    # We can't be sure the JSON library used will always
+    # generate the same JSON string. So let's parse it and
+    # test the parsed object instead.
+    json = JSON.parse(xml.to_json)
+    feed = json["rss"]["channel"]
+    expect(feed["title"]).to eq("XML Sitemaps RSS Feed")
+    expect(feed["link"]).to eq("http://www.example.com/")
+    expect(feed["description"]).to eq("Example.com - Feed")
+    expect(feed["item"]["title"]).to eq("First Post")
+  end
+  it "should save the XML content to DB" do
+    db = xml.db
+    allow(db).to receive(:save)
+    record = {:url => URL, :date => xml.date, :content => xml.to_hash}
+    expect(db).to receive(:save).with(record)
+    xml.save
+  end
+  it "should be able to update db config" do
+    db = xml.db
+    allow(db).to receive(:config=)
+    db_spec = {:host => "example.com", :port => 1337}
+    expect(db).to receive(:config=).with(db_spec)
+    xml.db_config(db_spec)
+  end
+  it "implements to_s method to return the serialized XML document" do
+    expect(xml.to_s).to eq(XML_DOC)
+  end
+end

data/spec/mongo_persisitence_spec.rb ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+require 'mongo'
+include Mongo
+describe MaxML::MongoPersistence do
+  let (:db) { MaxML::MongoPersistence.new }
+  DEFAULT_CONFIG = {
+    :host => ENV["TEST_DB_HOST"] || "localhost",
+    :port => ENV["TEST_DB_PORT"] || 27017
+  }.freeze
+  FULL_CONFIG = DEFAULT_CONFIG
+    .merge({
+             :database => 'maxml_testing',
+             :collection => 'xmls',
+             :username => 'user',
+             :password => 'secret'
+           }).freeze
+  context "when initializing" do
+    it "should be configured to connect to default host and port" do
+      expect(db.config[:host]).to eq(DEFAULT_CONFIG[:host])
+      expect(db.config[:port]).to eq(DEFAULT_CONFIG[:port])
+    end
+  end
+  it "should accept configurations" do
+    db.config = FULL_CONFIG
+    conf = db.config
+    expect(conf[:host]).to eq(DEFAULT_CONFIG[:host])
+    expect(conf[:port]).to eq(DEFAULT_CONFIG[:port])
+    expect(conf[:database]).to eq(FULL_CONFIG[:database])
+    expect(conf[:collection]).to eq(FULL_CONFIG[:collection])
+  end
+  it "should save a hash to DB" do
+    client  = MongoClient.new(FULL_CONFIG[:host], FULL_CONFIG[:port])
+    test_db = client.db(FULL_CONFIG[:database])
+    coll    = test_db.collection(FULL_CONFIG[:collection])
+    coll.drop
+    db.config = FULL_CONFIG
+    db.save({:successful_save => true})
+    expect(coll.find({:successful_save => true}).count).to eq(1)
+  end
+  it "should validate configuration when changing database settings"
+  it "should validate configuration when saving"
+end

data/spec/spec_helper.rb ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,80 @@
+require 'webmock/rspec'
+# This file was generated by the `rspec --init` command. Conventionally, all
+# specs live under a `spec` directory, which RSpec adds to the `$LOAD_PATH`.
+# The generated `.rspec` file contains `--require spec_helper` which will cause this
+# file to always be loaded, without a need to explicitly require it in any files.
+#
+# Given that it is always loaded, you are encouraged to keep this file as
+# light-weight as possible. Requiring heavyweight dependencies from this file
+# will add to the boot time of your test suite on EVERY test run, even for an
+# individual file that may not need all of that loaded. Instead, make a
+# separate helper file that requires this one and then use it only in the specs
+# that actually need it.
+#
+# The `.rspec` file also contains a few flags that are not defaults but that
+# users commonly want.
+#
+# See http://rubydoc.info/gems/rspec-core/RSpec/Core/Configuration
+RSpec.configure do |config|
+# The settings below are suggested to provide a good initial experience
+# with RSpec, but feel free to customize to your heart's content.
+  # These two settings work together to allow you to limit a spec run
+  # to individual examples or groups you care about by tagging them with
+  # `:focus` metadata. When nothing is tagged with `:focus`, all examples
+  # get run.
+  config.filter_run :focus
+  config.run_all_when_everything_filtered = true
+  # Many RSpec users commonly either run the entire suite or an individual
+  # file, and it's useful to allow more verbose output when running an
+  # individual spec file.
+  if config.files_to_run.one?
+    # Use the documentation formatter for detailed output,
+    # unless a formatter has already been configured
+    # (e.g. via a command-line flag).
+    config.default_formatter = 'doc'
+  end
+  # Print the 10 slowest examples and example groups at the
+  # end of the spec run, to help surface which specs are running
+  # particularly slow.
+  config.profile_examples = 10
+  # Run specs in random order to surface order dependencies. If you find an
+  # order dependency and want to debug it, you can fix the order by providing
+  # the seed, which is printed after each run.
+  #     --seed 1234
+  config.order = :random
+  # Seed global randomization in this process using the `--seed` CLI option.
+  # Setting this allows you to use `--seed` to deterministically reproduce
+  # test failures related to randomization by passing the same `--seed` value
+  # as the one that triggered the failure.
+  Kernel.srand config.seed
+  # rspec-expectations config goes here. You can use an alternate
+  # assertion/expectation library such as wrong or the stdlib/minitest
+  # assertions if you prefer.
+  config.expect_with :rspec do |expectations|
+    # Enable only the newer, non-monkey-patching expect syntax.
+    # For more details, see:
+    #   - http://myronmars.to/n/dev-blog/2012/06/rspecs-new-expectation-syntax
+    expectations.syntax = :expect
+  end
+  # rspec-mocks config goes here. You can use an alternate test double
+  # library (such as bogus or mocha) by changing the `mock_with` option here.
+  config.mock_with :rspec do |mocks|
+    # Enable only the newer, non-monkey-patching expect syntax.
+    # For more details, see:
+    #   - http://teaisaweso.me/blog/2013/05/27/rspecs-new-message-expectation-syntax/
+    mocks.syntax = :expect
+    # Prevents you from mocking or stubbing a method that does not exist on
+    # a real object. This is generally recommended.
+    mocks.verify_partial_doubles = true
+  end
+end

metadata ADDED

@@ -0,0 +1,100 @@
+--- !ruby/object:Gem::Specification
+name: maxml
+version: !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+  version: 0.0.1
+platform: ruby
+authors:
+- David Leung
+autorequire:
+bindir: bin
+cert_chain: []
+date: 2014-08-29 00:00:00.000000000 Z
+dependencies: []
+description: |
+  # MaxML
+  Download, parse and save an XML document to MongoDB
+  ## Install
+      gem install rspec
+  ## Usage Example
+  ```ruby
+  # DB defaults to "localhost" for `host` and 27017 for `port`
+  db_config = {database: "maxml_test", collection: "xmls"}
+  reddit = MaxML::XML.new("http://www.reddit.com/.rss", db_config)
+  reddit.save
+  )
+  ```
+  ## Copyright and License
+  Copyright © 2014 David Leung
+  Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy
+  of this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal
+  in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights
+  to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell
+  copies of the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is
+  furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:
+  The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all
+  copies or substantial portions of the Software.
+  THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
+  IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY,
+  FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
+  AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER
+  LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM,
+  OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE
+  SOFTWARE.
+email: david@davidslab.com
+executables: []
+extensions: []
+extra_rdoc_files: []
+files:
+- LICENSE
+- README.md
+- lib/maxml.rb
+- lib/maxml/errors.rb
+- lib/maxml/mongo_persistence.rb
+- lib/maxml/xml.rb
+- spec/fixtures/#reddit.xml#
+- spec/fixtures/reddit.xml
+- spec/fixtures/sample.xml
+- spec/maxml_spec.rb
+- spec/mongo_persisitence_spec.rb
+- spec/spec_helper.rb
+homepage: http://github.com/dhl/maxml
+licenses:
+- MIT
+metadata: {}
+post_install_message:
+rdoc_options: []
+require_paths:
+- lib
+required_ruby_version: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+  requirements:
+  - - ">="
+    - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+      version: '1.9'
+required_rubygems_version: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+  requirements:
+  - - ">="
+    - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+      version: '0'
+requirements: []
+rubyforge_project:
+rubygems_version: 2.4.1
+signing_key:
+specification_version: 4
+summary: Download, parse and save an XML document to MongoDB
+test_files:
+- spec/maxml_spec.rb
+- spec/spec_helper.rb
+- spec/mongo_persisitence_spec.rb
+- spec/fixtures/#reddit.xml#
+- spec/fixtures/sample.xml
+- spec/fixtures/reddit.xml