chucksay 0.0.2

checksums.yaml

@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+---
+SHA1:
+  metadata.gz: d062e25569f09717d72a2462ac8c799ba3e93046
+  data.tar.gz: a7b928d0645f1835fa9eff41e48d2e27b73eaa1f
+SHA512:
+  metadata.gz: 604b60492d392b4805afd17c7d4f2ace6e6530c4932355595fea565c9205d6eab556fe938d45f7fe79d9e1b8f13e6eb1a72714749f78beb36437853f71266b40
+  data.tar.gz: 682e64026e6792af39fe49fdec833f9b4fd8f4f713dcf8468258a62d0758651f93d568918d36bbd026206ade532fc2bb1ef4a82e9456b08edd4190d449b81b8b

data/bin/chucksay

@@ -0,0 +1,4 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env ruby
+
+require 'chuck'
+puts Chuck.say

data/lib/chuck.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+class Chuck
+  def self.say
+    chosen_line = nil
+    File.foreach("resources/quotes").each_with_index do |line,number|
+      chosen_line = line if rand < 1.0 / (number + 1)
+    end
+    return chosen_line.delete("\n")
+  end
+end

data/resources/quotes

@@ -0,0 +1,110 @@
+Chuck Norris multiplied by zero still equals Chuck Norris.
+There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
+Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
+Aldexander Graham Bell had three missed calls from Chuck Norris when he invented the telephone.
+Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
+Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
+Chuck Norris isn't lifting himself up when doing a pushup; he's pushing the earth down.
+Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
+Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
+Chuck Norris doesn't need Twitter; he's already following you.
+Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
+In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
+Chuck Norris once one a game of connect four in 3 moves.
+Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
+Chuck Norris? favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
+It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
+Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
+Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
+In the Words of Julius Caesar, Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris. Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
+Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
+Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
+Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
+Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
+70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
+Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
+Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
+MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.
+Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
+Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
+If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
+When you say no one's perfect, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.
+Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
+Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes.
+Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
+In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
+The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
+It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
+Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris
+Chuck Norris's log statements are always at the FATAL level.
+Chuck Norris can win in a game of Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
+Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
+There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
+Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
+A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
+Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
+Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
+In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
+Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
+Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
+Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
+Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
+Chuck Norris's database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.
+Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
+Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions, and have them return.
+When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
+We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
+Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
+Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
+There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
+The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
+When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
+Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
+All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
+If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?
+One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.
+Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
+Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.
+The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron?s ass halfway through the first chapter.
+If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
+When taking the SAT, write Chuck Norris for every answer. You will score over 8000.
+When in a bar, you can order a drink called a Chuck Norris. It is also known as a Bloody Mary, if your name happens to be Mary.
+Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.
+Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
+When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
+Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.
+Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
+Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, But Chuck Norris isn't black, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
+Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
+Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
+Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
+Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
+If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
+Chuck Norris' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
+In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
+Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.
+When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
+All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
+The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.
+Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
+The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
+Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
+Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
+Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
+Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
+If you Google search Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
+Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
+On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
+Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
+No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
+The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.
+Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
+Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
+When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
+The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
+Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
+Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
+Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
+Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
+There is in fact an 'I' in Norris, but there is no 'team'. Not even close.
+Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

metadata

@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+--- !ruby/object:Gem::Specification
+name: chucksay
+version: !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+  version: 0.0.2
+platform: ruby
+authors:
+- Kel Cecil
+autorequire: 
+bindir: bin
+cert_chain: []
+date: 2014-04-05 00:00:00.000000000 Z
+dependencies:
+- !ruby/object:Gem::Dependency
+  name: rspec
+  requirement: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+    requirements:
+    - - '>='
+      - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+        version: 2.14.1
+  type: :development
+  prerelease: false
+  version_requirements: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+    requirements:
+    - - '>='
+      - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+        version: 2.14.1
+description: Ever needed a Chuck Norris joke to lighten up that dashboard?
+email: kelcecil@praisechaos.com
+executables:
+- chucksay
+extensions: []
+extra_rdoc_files: []
+files:
+- lib/chuck.rb
+- resources/quotes
+- bin/chucksay
+homepage: https://github.com/kelcecil/chucksay
+licenses:
+- GPL v2
+metadata: {}
+post_install_message: 
+rdoc_options: []
+require_paths:
+- lib
+required_ruby_version: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+  requirements:
+  - - '>='
+    - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+      version: '0'
+required_rubygems_version: !ruby/object:Gem::Requirement
+  requirements:
+  - - '>='
+    - !ruby/object:Gem::Version
+      version: '0'
+requirements: []
+rubyforge_project: 
+rubygems_version: 2.0.7
+signing_key: 
+specification_version: 4
+summary: A gem to randomly provide Chuck Norris jokes.
+test_files: []